TTC after miscarriage - April 2020 part 2

@Hayleylou89 I do understand that you would want to try for another baby straight away. She definitely is your guardian angel she will be looking after you always xxx

Sorry you're joining here again @ktl1a I dont know anything about aspirin tbh . I thought it may be beneficial for those who miscarriage naturally by bleeding rather than MMC , I had a MMC no bleeding , as it's to do with bleeding isnt it ? Maybe you could speak to someone in EPU and ask them I'm sure they would be happy to help xx xxx

@Hayleylou89 wow so strong ! And only you know how you feel everyones different but I think a lot of us here know how you feel that TTC again straight away helps you emotionally in a way and you'll never forget your first baby xx I know itll happen for you soon 😘 you deserve it xx tbh I think you've had some good signs this cycle ! Hope AF stays away next week xx

@Hayleylou89 yeah I'll feel like that next time round , that I wont feel through it until baby in my arms . I actually work in the world of clinical negligence in hospitals. So work on horrible cases where you see losses so late and as soon as I found out I was pg not gonna lie they all got to me and worried me. But like you I'm such a laid back person too. I hate feeling up tight or stressed so normally avoid it but once you've been through something you cant help it . Only human ay 💞 dont apologise for long post ! Xx glad you have finished your treatment and sounds like next time you and the hospital will be extra prepared and you know what extra things they can do to help you xx

@VP91x I know it was horrendous having to gove birth knowing we wouldnt be taking her home, but we are strong and people might think wow how are u trying again straight away but we want a baby, thats the end goal...she was born exactly 4 months too soon on 7th feb and she was due 7th June. Shes our guardian angel now. We called her Bonnie and she looked exactly like her dad it was crazy cos i didnt realise how she would look and i was terrified and she had all her features formed she was just tiny, i cant believe abortions are allowed up until 24 weeks its insane xx

Morning ladies , I hope
You are all well and sorry for those getting BFNS , but it's not over until AF shows .

I'm feeling a little better today , I have accepted the fact I feel that this month will be another BFN and prepared myself for AF to arrive

I've got back ache which is a sign AF is on the way so I'm pretty certain I'm out this month .

I will test again tomorrow when I'm 12DPO and then just wait for AF XX

@SmileyT hmm not sure about the temperatures and the opk it’s all so confusing to me! I’m giving them a rest! Maybe dtd anyway just in case? I think he will be up for it after 12 hours??

Don’t offer don’t refuse not going too well as he just keeps asking all day! 🙈 so no idea what to expect now! Period seems to be slowing down today at day five though which seems normal for me xx

@Hayleylou89 ah, I just cried reading your story. I am so sorry you had to go through that, I just can't imagine. You are incredibly strong xx

@Renna any loss is hard but u get past 12 weeks and think "im safe now" then 16 week private was all fine and even the 20 week scan was perfect so i thought yeah were definitely safe now but now i just feel like ur not safe until that baby is in ur arms and its horrible way to be but before i was soooo relaxed and im such a laid back person but its shook me up so much an next time ill be anxious throughout i think. We had a postmortem done so we should get the results on that on weds too but i just know shes was fine as it was my waters going that made her struggle so need to figure out why that happened which im hoping ill find out on weds and then we will have a plan going forward with any new pregnancy if its something that can be prevented like a sutra to strengthen my cervix if thats what caused it but i havnt has lletz treatment For 4 years but when they did they took a fair bit of tissue and my hospital notes that i requested have conflicting info in so im going to pull the hospital up on it... basically guidance says if uv had 10mm or more of tissue removed during treatment u should be put under a consultant led pregnancy now i had 9mm removed plus multiple biopsies that equate to over the 10mm but i think theyve just seen the 9mm on one treatment and put me through a normal mw led pregnancy when it should have been consultant led ...i only learnt all this AFTER the event and researching it as why would i look into this otherwise (apologies for the long post) x

Hi everyone, I joined the April thread at the very start of part 1 then decided to take a step back and relax for the month to see if it helped things to happen... unfortunately it didn't and AF got me yesterday, so devastating! I'm so sorry to everyone that has had to join the thread, hoping lots of BFP's arrive for you all soon!
I am now on to my third proper cycle post MMC and am desperately looking for anything that could help it happen! I am currently taking Folic Acid, Vitamin E, Vitamin B Complex and Ubiqionol (low dose... it's soooo expensive!) I also drink Pom juice, red raspberry leaf tea and grapefruit juice from the end of AF to ovulation, then pineapple juice from 1-5dpo and 3 brazil nuts a day from 1dpo to AF (or BFP).
I have been looking in to low dose aspirin when TTC to help with blood flow and implantation... my midwife said during my booking in appointment that they will prescribe me it as a precaution from 12 weeks due to family history, the way I see it is that what will be the harm of taking it now if I will be taking it when pregnant anyway? I am thinking to take it from end of AF to approx 7DPO. Has anyone ever taken it for this reason? There isn't a lot of information online and as you can tell I'm desperate after suffering with infertility prior to the sad loss of our baby x

@SmileyT omgg you should be testing!! 😍😍 hah these are all good signs ! You're CD31 so isnt that later or really close to your AF ?? My cycles are normally around 28 days so I'd be testing if I were you ! I'm 7dpo .. AF due next Sunday. I feel like I keep getting pains in my boobs but dunno if I'm imagining it lol .. people dont always get symptoms so you may not have any yet xx when are you going to wait to test then ? X x

@hayleylou89 bloody hell babe xxxx sending you big hugs hun xx I couldnt imagine what happened knowing you were much further along but wasnt sure to ask what happend must be hard to re think about it all xxx you strong lady xx as well as everyone else here but wow bless you xxx really really hope you get your BFP asap xx how do you think you'll be when you get pg again? Xxx have you finished your lletz treatment now ? Xx

@renna so sorry to hear ur story too on ur loss so sad, i had my gender reveal on christmas day with all the family and then lost her 8 weeks later my waters just broke but i didnt even know that could happen i felt so silly to think i was flying through my pregnancy with no issues i was so healthy and just went for a check up and got told there and then my waters had gone and i had no idea when it had happened and so an infection set in, then i was in hospital for a week trying to fight the infection and keep her in as long as i could so she had a better chance to survive they said if i got to 24 weeks shed have a much better chance but i started to lose too much water and she struggled to survive and i felt her stop moving and went for a scan at 2am in the morning and we literally watched her heart stop in the scanner it was horrific....I have my review with the head of the hospital who i actually work on Wednesday (virtually over zoom) as the womens hosp is part of the uni i work so im hoping he gives me some answers as to why my waters went so early ... i think its due to Lletz treatments i had done on my cervix between the age of 25-30 (now) and i should have been monitored with more scans and cervical measurments after research prem labour after it all happend 😢 x

@Renna sorry I posted at the same time but no I haven't done a pregnancy test 😬 I'm way too nervous and have absolutely no physical symptoms at all. I promised myself I wouldn't test early just in case it didn't implant properly, but not sure I'll be able to stick to that now. X

@Renna I really feel for you, I told my two best friends the day before my MC because of all this covid-19 stuff and I completely agree that although I'll want to enjoy my next pregnancy it will be so hard to relax ☹️ how many dpo are you now? Your testing next week aren't you? Xx

@Jonsey1987 sorry about your BFN this morning, really hoping that something happens for you soon. I think after 6 weeks you can be referred back to the GP/ hospital to check that everything is still looking good, so maybe if you don't have anything next week give them a call. And my DP has already said that he'll book me a private scan every week if I get pg again, there is a centre opposite my work so I'll be bobbing in there all the time 😂 xx

@SmileyT have you done a pregnancy test babe ? The OPKs can pick up in the HCG hormone.. xx and temp rise and resting heart rate rise would coincide with that ? Xx

@Mommybear05 Your experience is similar to mine. I started bleeding at 10 weeks on a saturday night. I went to A&E Sunday morning and they just took some details and sent me home as they said they couldn’t scan me until later on in the week. I then had my booking in appointment the next day on the Monday which seemed a waste of time as I was still bleeding but they still wanted to do it. When I had the scan a few days later they couldn’t see anything at all. I hadn’t heard before of a fetus not forming like you mentioned so wondering now if that is what happened to me. My hcg levels were really low too. I never even thought of getting a private scan. X

Morning @Mommybear05 how are you feeling this morning? Meant to ask how the don't offer don't refuse is going?

Sorry about your hospital experience, it is so hard, on one hand I know epus don't see a loss in the first 12 weeks as anything really, they were quick to tell me the stats on how many people it happens to but for us it's the most important thing in the world. One thing that I've learnt from it all is that I should trust myself. Throughout I was so convinced something was wrong, I saw the HB at 6weeks(nhs) and 7weeks(private) and then when I went in to EPU at 8.5weeks they wouldn't scan me and just did an exam and confirmed cervix was closed, a week later I hadn't started bleeding heavily but I knew in myself something was wrong. I do understand the NHS staff do what they can but when it's you and your baby it's so hard when they don't see your urgency to know.

I'm feeling good this morning apart from DP leaving for work at 5.30am and waking me up as he did, admittedly he has 12hrs at work and I have 12hrs of nothing so can't complain. BUT I am having a bit of a neurotic moment this morning, I've been doing the cheap opks daily just to check what happens through a whole cycle and randomly my result was high again today 🤔 and I'm wondering if my body didn't actually ovulate and it's going to try again. I'm 12DPO and expecting AF so now I'm confused.

Also not sure if anyone uses a Fitbit but my RHR is rising and it normally drops before AF so confused, but I did go for a run yesterday for the first time in about 3 months 🤷🏾‍♀️

@Renna we feel the same way. Next time we won’t go back to the same clinic for our scan. X

@renna how awful. This was my first pregnancy and I wanted to enjoy it. I don't want to spend the next one anxious and regret being like that at the end but I probably will.

@hayleylou89 I'll be crossing my fingers for you

Bfn today and still no AF!!!!

@Jonsey1987 sounds like your hospital were really good and comforting knowing that for the future when you do get your BFP. XX

I had a private scan done at around 11 weeks as we had family coming down and wanted to be able to tell then our news before waiting for nhs scan. So we paid for the privilege of being told the horrible news too.. I've said to DH I couldnt go back there when we get pregnant again. We went in there thinking wed see our baby and had my mum with me. Would feel tainted going back there. All feels like its tainted for the next time because this time we bought loads of ',reveal ' gifts for family planned a big meal and seeing friends I bought stuff to say you're going to be an auntie .. I'd be the first out of my group of friends to have a baby so felt like a big thing.. then we just chucked it all away when we found out. And weve said next time we wont be doing any of that as was too heart breaking but is such a shame it ruins your experience for next time but then I say to DH I kind of dont care and just want a healthy baby... puts things in perspective xx

@Hayleylou89 yes it's still quite early to be seeing BFPs 🤞🤞 still a chance x and I think you have had some good signs x I'm okay, I'm not feeling hopeful either as I just dont feel anything but then I tell myself I'm not sure I even felt anything at this point last time... so I go back and forth.. plus I'd just feel like I wouldbt be so lucky to get a BFP so soon after MC. But trying to stay positive I still have over a week to wait to see if AF shows next Sunday . Xx

@Renna how r u today xx

Thanks guys

@SmileyT how disopointing to hear you were let down like that by the hospital. I hope that you epu still support you in the next pregnancy. Mine have said next time I get a positive test to ring them up. They will give me early scans and bloods again if I need them. It horrible that you knew something wasn't right and they dismissed you like they did. I resolved naturally they were reluctant to initially send me home in case my tube ruptured, they also offered me methotrexate but it would weaken my immune (not so good for cv 19 / or the 3 months waiting tc again)

@Hayleylou89 22.5 weeks must have been really really heartbreaking I'm so sorry you lost your little girl. How are you feeling today?

@Renna hey lovely im good! Still feel the same though no symtoms really just slight achy back but thats normal for AF aswell did another cheapy still BFN but still only 8 dpo still a chance but not too hopeful this cycle x x

@SmileyT I share your experience there in that they didn’t want to scan me. I was shocked! I started bleeding at nine weeks. I called my midwife and she told me to go to a and e. They saw me quickly to be fair but they didn’t give me any treatment they just told me because it’s a Saturday to go home and come in for an appointment on Monday! I understand that they didn’t have the staff to scan me immediately And also if it’s a mc there’s nothing they can do about it but the thought of waiting two days without knowing what was happening and bleeding was so distressing. I said that I couldn’t wait two days bleeding and cramping and not knowing what was going on. I begged for a scan but they refused. It really didn’t help with the experience and was so upsetting. So we went to a private scan clinic. We had a scan booked there for ten weeks anyway. We wanted to show the grandparents a scan picture for Mother’s Day 😔 When I called and explained they were so helpful and rearranged my appointment to get me in straight away. They scanned me and saw just an empty sac which was unusual considering I should have been nine weeks. Because of bf and my cycles being off we held onto hope my dates were wrong. We even calculated the date again and worked out my new due date would have been the same as my due date for my son had I really been five weeks and took that as a hopeful sign. I went home and then on the night started passing the clots and we just knew.
I’m so glad we didn’t wait until the Monday and went for that private scan. At least now I know what I saw on that screen was an empty sac and I find that helpful and comforting that a fetus didn’t form. I believe I had a blighted ovum although by the time I went to the nhs scan on Monday they could see nothing at all at that stage so it was never diagnosed.
Still so upsetting though as I had been waiting so long to get pregnant. I really thought that they would just scan you straight away but they didn’t.

How are you today? Any more symptoms? Xx

Morning @Hayleylou89 how you feeling today ? Xx