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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

TMI- possible two fathers

138 replies

NameChangedMarch · 01/03/2020 17:10

Hi all, I have name changed for this as I really need some help.

I am late on my period today by 2 days.

Conceived date was 13th Feb. I have a 28 day usual cycle, no problem. I am not on any contraception at the moment...

I had sex with this man I am seeing at the moment (man 1) he finished in me 3 times over the course of 1 day/ evening. I had been staying at his for a few days. 13th was the only day we had sex (3 times).

Man 2 (my ex) I stupidly slept with the next day but we used protection. I was stupidly quite drunk, but the next day he told me he had w**ked himself off, and then put his 'covered' fingers inside me... I will not tell you what my reaction was to that AngrySad

This was when he was doing something to me....

I know this sounds really, really bad but please don't judge me. I feel silly for even asking this but I need some advice. If I do not come on over the next few days I will of course take a test.

Obviously man 1 has the most chance... but he is a heavy smoker of 15 years, I hear that can reduce the sperm quality? Man 2 is a lot more healthier Sad

Thank you to anyone who has read this x

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 02/03/2020 18:24

And take an STI test too.

PotteringAlong · 02/03/2020 18:23

It only takes one sperm so sperm count tests are irrelevant.

You need a DNA test. It could genuinely be either of them.

Winterlife · 02/03/2020 18:19

Assume it's man 1, proceed on that basis, and have a DNA test after the baby is born. Don't admit anything until you know the results of that test.

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 18:15

@Raizelrea thank you for your response. I guess in the back of mind, there is always that chance.

Wish I could know for sure thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 18:12

@Cally70 I know and that's what I am worried about.

I may have to look at some different options. I have a lot of thinking to do Sad

OP posts:
Raizelrea · 02/03/2020 18:10

At home insemination success rates are only 10-15% (compared to the 20-30% chance you get with regular intercourse) - and that's when everything is done right, i.e. a large sperm sample is inserted as close to your cervix as possible using a syringe. I think it's very very unlikely to be man 2.

Cally70 · 02/03/2020 18:09

You say you're closer with man 1 but how is he going to feeling that man 2 is potentially in the running?

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 17:49

@Izzybuzzybuzzybees I have not ignored, I didn't see your original post.

Getting pregnant was not a concern, with man 1 it's the not knowing that I am not dealing with very well....

I don't really know how else to put it Sad

OP posts:
Izzybuzzybuzzybees · 02/03/2020 17:40

@HollowTalk I said the exact same thing but my comment was ignored.

Sex 3 times without protection at your most fertile isn’t a surprise that OP is pregnant.

Congratulations thought I’m glad you’re happy.

HollowTalk · 02/03/2020 16:53

OP, why on earth are you taking such a cavalier attitude to contraception? You had sex three times on day 13 - surely you know that's your most fertile period?

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 16:42

@Lynda07 definately congratulate... thank you. How can you be sure it wasn't man 2? God I wish I could wave a magic wand just to find out Sad

If I knew for sure... I would literally be jumping for joy right now.

Man 2 we had sex but with protection, man 1 was without 3 times in one day. Only issue with man 2 was I think he isn't telling the truth with the 'cum' on fingers (sorry) it's just so ridiculous.

Thank you everyone Thanks

OP posts:
Lynda07 · 02/03/2020 16:20

The chances of the father being man2 are negligible, forget him. Man1 is the daddy. Now what do you want to do, do we congratulate or commiserate?

Lillipop87 · 02/03/2020 16:13

It sounds like you have a good relationship with the first man and if you think he would be happy to do the sperm count test for u and it would help to put your mind at ease then go for it! Hope it all works out for you op. X

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 16:05

Thank you @Lillipop87 x

I am very tempted to purchase a 'sperm count' test you can buy on Amazon for £40. Apparently very accurate.

I am closer with man 1 than I am man 2 .... I know he wouldn't mind doing this for me if I asked. If his count comes back normal, I would think it's definitely him x

OP posts:
Lillipop87 · 02/03/2020 15:31

So man 2 put his fingers inside you without your consent /knowledge! That's sexual assult and I'm with a previous poster who said to report him!ok as for the pregnancy congrats by the way. It's much much more likely to be man 1 altho obvs only way to tell would be to have a dna test. Best of luck with everything xx

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 14:22

@LouLouLoo thank you x

OP posts:
LouLouLoo · 02/03/2020 13:51

I agree than man 1 is the most likely.

I’d be calling the Police about man 2.

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 13:36

@Frothybothie yes to everything for man 1.

I am worried man 2 as he is the most healthiest Sad

OP posts:
Frothybothie · 02/03/2020 13:34

Man 2 may be physically healthier, but mentally and morlaly he is a runt.

As has been said - what do YOU want to do?

Is man 1 someone you can envisage being with for the rest of your life and being a competent father?
The smoking can be stopped and harm repaired...

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 13:28

@Babyshine2020 he is now changing his story to say he thinks it could of been my wetness! (Sorry)

I think there is a bit of mind playing games. Sad

OP posts:
Babyshine2020 · 02/03/2020 13:08

If you want to go down the paternity test route you have to wait until around 7 weeks, but even the you'd have to tell one of them!

I genuinely think it would be man 1.

And as gross as it is, do you know if he fingers were covered? I know it only takes 1 swimmer but once sperm dries up its dead so if it was only a thin amount (think sticky/clear, sorry) then the amount of alive swimmers would be less. Obviously if it's literally like he caught most of it with his fingers and not back of his hand or whatever then your chances will of increased.

Izzybuzzybuzzybees · 02/03/2020 13:04

Dec = sex Blush

Izzybuzzybuzzybees · 02/03/2020 13:03

You say you’re not using protection as you have Dec when you’re not ovulating? But then chose to have sex on day 13? Of a usual 28 day cycle? 3 times in that window was always going to be very likely to make you pregnant even if man 2 hadn’t done what he did.

I think you need to be honest with both men but have no clue how you do that!

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 12:51

@itsemily the fact I'm even having to say man 1 and man 2 Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 12:50

@itsemily it's what I want ! I am just kicking myself as I have been so careless Sad

Man 1 would be very happy. X

OP posts:
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