Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

TMI- possible two fathers

138 replies

NameChangedMarch · 01/03/2020 17:10

Hi all, I have name changed for this as I really need some help.

I am late on my period today by 2 days.

Conceived date was 13th Feb. I have a 28 day usual cycle, no problem. I am not on any contraception at the moment...

I had sex with this man I am seeing at the moment (man 1) he finished in me 3 times over the course of 1 day/ evening. I had been staying at his for a few days. 13th was the only day we had sex (3 times).

Man 2 (my ex) I stupidly slept with the next day but we used protection. I was stupidly quite drunk, but the next day he told me he had w**ked himself off, and then put his 'covered' fingers inside me... I will not tell you what my reaction was to that AngrySad

This was when he was doing something to me....

I know this sounds really, really bad but please don't judge me. I feel silly for even asking this but I need some advice. If I do not come on over the next few days I will of course take a test.

Obviously man 1 has the most chance... but he is a heavy smoker of 15 years, I hear that can reduce the sperm quality? Man 2 is a lot more healthier Sad

Thank you to anyone who has read this x

OP posts:
Sunshineand · 02/03/2020 22:21

The situation has no bearing on whether OP will be a good mother or not, but I just want to point out the double standard that if it was a man saying he had cheated on the woman he was seeing the comments on here would be very different.

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 02/03/2020 21:27

My biggest regret is who I picked to be my DC father. (The pregnancies were unplanned but I still chose to have them with him as their dad) if I could chose again I’d chose differently. For my DCs sake. I think it’s probably the most important decision you can make wrt parenting and choosing the right father is the best gift you can give your child.

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 21:22

Thank you so much  @HakunaMatata90 xxx Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 21:21

@JuanSheetIsPlenty I think you are correct x

OP posts:
HakunaMatata90 · 02/03/2020 21:04

Just wanted to say I can't believe some of the horrible comments on here?! What does anybody get out of saying such awful things, especially when someone is reaching out and asking for help? It's just so unnecessary!

For what it's worth, like everyone else has said it seems much much more likely that it's man 1. Congratulations, I'm sure you will be a wonderful mum regardless of who the dad is. As someone else said, take a few days to try to get your head around it all and decide what to do moving forward. I don't envy the position you are in, but I hope you manage to find a way through it x

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 02/03/2020 20:59

If there was even the slightest chance it is man 2’s child I would terminate and then try again with man 1 as you obviously want a child with him, and you’re obviously fertile. I wouldn’t take the risk, for my own or the baby’s sake, that it could be man 2s child.

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 20:50

Thank you @Lillipop87 I have no family members I can talk to about anything like this at the moment. I have a close friend I could mention something too. Thank you Thanks

Ignoring the hateful comments.

For anyone who is asking I'm 29 Hmm

OP posts:
LosingtheTTCplot · 02/03/2020 20:45

Some of the comments on here are just seriously disgusting and judgmental.

OP was looking for advice and support, she’s in a challenging situation and none of us know how she is actually feeling.

#bekind

Lillipop87 · 02/03/2020 20:38

Awful thing not think !

Lillipop87 · 02/03/2020 20:36

Some of these replies are really harsh. I think she realises that she made a mistake with man 2 and that has absolutely no bearing on her ability to be a good mother! There are plenty of people in long term relationships ect that don't make good parents .what an awful think to say to her. Op I think you should take a few days to let it all sink in and see where you want to go from there have you got any close friends family members for support?x

LochJessMonster · 02/03/2020 20:36

Your attitude’s all a bit shits and giggles isn’t it OP? agree

StealthMama · 02/03/2020 20:35

The age if the men really has little to do with this. You're saying one man full on ejaculated in you 3 times whilst ovulating, and a second man may have had sperm on his fingers and stuck them in you. There's no real question here as to who got you pregnant.

Gravity and physics.

SirVixofVixHall · 02/03/2020 20:33

Well even more unlikely to be man 2, as the egg doesn’t live long if unfertilised, only 12-24 hours.

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 20:31

@SirVixofVixHall I did have sex whilst I was ovulating, the 'finger grope' was a day after also.

Man 2 is younger than man 1, also healthier... potentially better sperm HmmBlush

I can only see... thanks for all your comments x

OP posts:
Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 20:28

Thank you @OrangeJ Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 20:27

@SpokeTooSoon what do you mean? Confused

OP posts:
SpokeTooSoon · 02/03/2020 20:25

Your attitude’s all a bit shits and giggles isn’t it OP?

SirVixofVixHall · 02/03/2020 20:25

Almost certainly man 1. Sex three times while you are ovulating, versus a possibly contaminated finger grope. It would be astonishing if it was man 2.
Do you know when you ovulated ?

OrangeJ · 02/03/2020 20:17

I’m not giving any advice as I think you’ve probably had enough by now! I just wanted to say sorry for all the awful comments - just ignore them if you can. People can be horrible sometimes. Nobody here knows you or your situation so should stop being so judgmental.

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do Flowers

YellowFlower22 · 02/03/2020 20:17

I think OP realises she has made some misjudgment and asked for help. Think some people should try and be a little kinder.
@NameChangedMarch you can't change the past and what has been done, I'm sure yourll make a great mother and will do what right for you baby and father. I think as another poster mentioned take a week or two and talk to both. I do personally feel man no. 1 is more likely but understand it must be playing on your mind.

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 20:11

@HollowTalk I get that... I really hope you're perfect and have never made a mistake in your life to pass judgement on me like that Hmm Jeeze

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 02/03/2020 20:06

If you are sleeping with another man as well as man A, I think you are being ridiculous to say getting pregnant wasn't an issue. You're clearly not ready to have a baby with someone if you're shagging another man the day after.

A08x · 02/03/2020 19:14

Wow @tiggertogger what a horrible comment to make! I am sure OP will make a fantastic mother if that’s what she decides to do. “Surprise” children happen all the time in all different circumstances with great outcomes!!!

@NameChangedMarch I don’t have any advice that hasn’t already been said, but good luck with whatever the outcome and whatever you decide to do Xx

tiggertogger · 02/03/2020 18:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 02/03/2020 18:38

Thanks all, so many different opinions. I will have a good think what to do this week.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread