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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

TMI- possible two fathers

138 replies

NameChangedMarch · 01/03/2020 17:10

Hi all, I have name changed for this as I really need some help.

I am late on my period today by 2 days.

Conceived date was 13th Feb. I have a 28 day usual cycle, no problem. I am not on any contraception at the moment...

I had sex with this man I am seeing at the moment (man 1) he finished in me 3 times over the course of 1 day/ evening. I had been staying at his for a few days. 13th was the only day we had sex (3 times).

Man 2 (my ex) I stupidly slept with the next day but we used protection. I was stupidly quite drunk, but the next day he told me he had w**ked himself off, and then put his 'covered' fingers inside me... I will not tell you what my reaction was to that AngrySad

This was when he was doing something to me....

I know this sounds really, really bad but please don't judge me. I feel silly for even asking this but I need some advice. If I do not come on over the next few days I will of course take a test.

Obviously man 1 has the most chance... but he is a heavy smoker of 15 years, I hear that can reduce the sperm quality? Man 2 is a lot more healthier Sad

Thank you to anyone who has read this x

OP posts:
Namechange8471 · 09/03/2020 20:50

Don’t let anyone make you feel rubbish op, no one is perfect (apart from those on Mumsnet 🙄)
It’s perfectly reasonable to have a an abortion if that’s what you want, good luck ❤️

MamaDane · 09/03/2020 20:43

@JuanSheetIsPlenty Yeah that's not what I meant Hmm. Although you're right about one thing, I do think she should be ashamed of herself. Not because of the amount of sexual partners, but because one of those sexual partners was not just a booty call but someone she had been seeing and she went behind his back and had sex with her ex the next day. Yes, people should be shamed for cheating. Men or women.
Fuck (not literally) cheaters.

kimchilove · 09/03/2020 17:04

Oh and for those of you making such awful comments and passing judgement you need a bloody good shake. Angry

kimchilove · 09/03/2020 17:03

I've name changed for this op for obvious reasons.

I got pregnant by the fingers covered in it method. I was young and desperate to keep my then boyfriend. Obviously I'm extremely ashamed of it now years on.

Anyway, short story was, he was not interested and disappeared. I had a termination. (Although then it was medical and it went wrong so a little different to your case.)

I've had years of fertility treatment and finally a miracle baby but had I desperately regretted having the termination for years.

But recently I've been thinking maybe it was the best as now I have dh and ds.

Just wanted to share with you. You're not alone, in fact what I did was stupid.

And I also completely agree that you should inform the police on that asshole. My suspicion is he's changed his story as he's realised how awful what he did was.

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 09/03/2020 16:49

What's so hilarious about that?

What’s hilarious is the assertion that a woman got pregnant as the result of sleeping with two men in one day.

Because it’s quite clearly rubbish. Sleeping with two men does not cause pregnancy. Sleeping with two men on the same day does not cause pregnancy. She is not pregnant because of the number or proximity of sexual partners she has had. You are attempting to slut shame.

MamaDane · 09/03/2020 16:36

@JuanSheetIsPlenty
English is not my first language. Was it not clear what I said? She had sex and got pregnant. Either man could be the father because it happened within a day near ovulation. What's so hilarious about that?

Also @Raleighx everyone makes mistakes but cheating is not just a mistake. It's a pretty shitty thing to do to someone.

Raleighx · 09/03/2020 15:37

And I’m assuming everyone giving OP grief is perfect and never made a mistake in their life? You don’t know anyone’s circumstances in their relationship.

Also she has stated she used protection with man 2..

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 09/03/2020 15:29

you also got pregnant as the result of sleeping with two men within a day

Hmm

I don’t know what sort of biology you were taught at school but this is hilarious.

MamaDane · 09/03/2020 14:53

Well you have to be honest with man1 (and man2 for that matter), because what you did to him was pretty awful, you not only cheated but you also got pregnant as the result of sleeping with two men within a day and don't know who the father is.
Who does that to their partner?

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 09/03/2020 14:26

Hmmm, so are you 26 or 29 OP?

Idiotseverywhere · 09/03/2020 13:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

strivingtosucceed · 09/03/2020 13:06

OP, do the men know about each other? If not, and if you're serious about man 1, i'd suggest you take a step back to evaluate your relationship and determine why sex with man 2 happened. Otherwise this could absolutely happen again.

Beau20 · 09/03/2020 12:53

@NameChangedMarch don't be silly, it's totally fine to talk about these things. No-one will ever know how hard it will be to get pregnant again. I had a surgical termination at 17, conceived again without even trying at 25 which sadly I terminated. For me I think I just have a hormonal issue so having tests done to see why I am not convincing (I have but lost 2).

You've got to do what is right for you now. You will regret it at some point - that is natural. You just need to weigh up the benefits of having this child for the sake of having it and being worried about not having another. Or accept that this situation just isn't right and you will have your chance again in the figure. I'm sure you'll figure it out x

Butterflyflower1234 · 09/03/2020 11:40

Sorry hadn't realised you've decided to terminate. Best of luck with that.

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 09/03/2020 11:38

@Butterflyflower1234 I haven't told either and I don't need to, so I will not be stringing either along. Thanks x

OP posts:
NoMorePoliticsPlease · 09/03/2020 11:35

I dont think either of these men sound like a good deal

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 09/03/2020 11:30

Thank you @Beau20 I am sorry to hear you feel like that. I will be honest and say one worry is when I terminate the pregnancy will it be hard for me again to get pregnant?

I am early enough that I will just be taking a pill over 2 days, so it is non-surgical. Although it wouldn't make a difference to me. I am so sorry to talk about this.

I would certainly be able to handle being a single mum although i am 26 and this would be my first child, I do feel I need the support of farther forward my first Sad

X

OP posts:
Butterflyflower1234 · 09/03/2020 11:29

I really hope you are honest with both men and explain either would could be the father.

Whilst the likelihood is it's man 1, you can not rule out man 2. It's ridiculous that man 2 did this without you knowing. All seems very odd to me like a trap.

Either way I've seen this before where someone thought one man was the dad and it turned out to be the other. Don't ruin two men's lives with stringing them along.

Beau20 · 09/03/2020 11:19

@NameChangedMarch No judgments OP - termination is one of the hardest decisions you can ever make. Please make sure it is 100% right for you, forget about either man for now as for all you know, even if you went ahead with the pregnancy, either one could walk out and leave you a single mother.

As weird as this sounds, think about being a single mum - would you want the baby? If so then keep it.

I had a termination 3 years ago with my current partner, it was a really really bad time and not right in that moment. I hate myself for it, it was the right choice. But now we have been trying for a planned baby for 7 month and no joy - I can't lie the guilt is killing me.

I'm not saying keep it, I'm not saying terminate - just make sure you don't regret whatever decision you make xx

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 08/03/2020 15:14

Thank you both. I have been up some nights for the past week trying to make this decision.

It's especially difficult as I do suffer with endometriosis ... I didn't think I could get pregnant which was part of me being naive Sad

I feel extremely lucky I was able to get pregnant.

I just can't believe it but big lesson learnt. X

OP posts:
YellowFlower22 · 08/03/2020 14:53

@NameChangedMarch wishing you all the best. Hard decision but yours to make. 🌼

Raleighx · 08/03/2020 14:44

That is one of the most difficult decisions someone can make. I understand why you've made it.

Hopefully it will be a lesson x

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 08/03/2020 14:24

@YellowFlower22 I have not spoken to either. Man 1 is very unpredictable and I don't think would help the situation.

Right now I have made the decision for myself which is to not go ahead with the pregnancy. I am so sorry if that upsets anyone on here.

If the situation was different (I wish it was), I would absolutely like to go through with it. I am upset with my own stupidity but have learnt my lesson. Sad

OP posts:
YellowFlower22 · 08/03/2020 13:59

@NameChangedMarch how's it going? Have you had chance to speak to either?

Original poster
NameChangedMarch · 03/03/2020 07:53

@Sunshineand bloody hell... and I'd just like to point out I haven't actually 'cheated' on anyone. I don't have to explain why..... Mad how it can be twisted. Typical MN.

OP posts:
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