Got a BFP, not sure how I feel and DH isnt going to be happy

hope you had a good weekend, hogwarts!

Hi hogwarts. Hope all is ok with you. You have been in my thoughts xx

Me too. Just popped in to make sure you're ok xxx

Hi Hogwarts

Still thinking of you and I hope everything went well over the weekend.

Hi Hogwarts.

I have been following your thread but haven't posted before.

I am another who just wants to offer support to you in any way possible.

I am in NI too, I'm in Co.Antrim if that's near where you are & if you would want to meet for a coffee anytime I am sure we could organise it. I have a 5 yr old & a 2 year old.

I think you're a very very brave woman & I do think you will get through this & come out the other side fighting fit.

If I can help in any way, even just a listening ear, let me know xx

Hi Hogwarts, been holding thums all day and to be quite honest they are starting to hurt! Have you told your mum yet and how did she respond??? Tell me if i'm being to nosy!!! I do hope you could tell her and I hope even more that she surprised you in her reactions.

Please come on and tell us so that I can let go of my thums!

Hope you had a great weekend. Enjoy what is left of it.

Hiya Hogwarts. Just been catching up - wanted to wish you luck for telling your mum this weekend & glad the secret santa helped cheer you up during such a rotten time

Like the others have said please don't feel that you're letting us down when you 'dither' - we're all here to give you support & help you work out what you want & what will be best for you & in your situation dithering is completely understandable.

thanks, hogwarts!

good luck telling your mum this weekend.

Btw,
In case anyone would like to nominate or donate to the Mumsnet Christmas Appeal, here is the link. The wonderful Littlelapin is organising everything.

Hogwarts,
that is lovely, I have heard of the the Secret Santa and I am pleased that someone put your name forward. This kind of thing is the very best bit of MN I think.

Good luck this weekend with your Mum

On 'here' I meant

That's so lovely, I hadn't heard of it on hear either but you definitely deserve it

How are you anyway? When is your mum back? I can't stop thinking about you and I'll feel so much better when I know you've spoken to your mum, I'm sure it will help you no end by talking to her! xxxx

Hi Hogwarts, just wanted to wish you luck this weekend in speaking with your mum, remember to take that handbag with you as we'll all be there again

Hi Hogwarts

Just wanted to say good luck in telling your mum this weekend. I really do hope that she will be supportive and understanding.

I don't want to sound nosy but do let us know what happens.

Hogwarts - only 6+5 today but I feel much more hopeful now . The scan pic shows EDD of 21st June! Thanks again for coming in my handbag - sorry about the snotty tissues!!

NOW.....I've just caught up with the thread and I just wanted to say I LOVE the idea of giving you H a choice - turning it on him! I also know you'll be just fine and you just can't go ahead with a late termination as you DON'T WANT TO!!! What's not helping right now is your hormones and before you shout at me for saying that (as I shout at my dh when he says that )....remember I have them atm so I feel I can say that Seriously......I've got myself in such a state recently about things, convinced myself I'd lost the baby etc. and I was wrong, all is fine. You are convinced you can't do this alone but I just KNOW you can if you have to. Obviously it would be nice for H to become a DH again and for him to change his mind, and maybe he will in time like Susie's dh BUT if he doesn't, seriously, he's not worth being with. You WON'T be ok in your relationship if you terminate so I don't see why you'd even think that now. It really is as clear cut as that I'm afraid. The ONLY way you may be ok in your relationship is if you go ahead with this baby and then he may come round. Otherwise the relationship is over anyway. Just keep telling yourself that - you have NOTHING to loose hun!!!

And please, please, please tell your mum. When are they back? Please tell her asap, I'm sure it will really really help to sort your head out!

I can't stop thinking about you and your situation and I just hope you do talk to your mum as you really need that RL support and a great big hug! Just remember how supportive your family were when he had the affair!!

Take care hun xxxxx

have you talked to him about this again yet Hogwarts?

Hogwarts - just wanted to say I haven't forgotten you and I will try and catch up with your messages later today. Thanks SO much for your kind post in the other thread, I never expected that from you at all and it meant a lot I'm pleased to say there WAS a little baby with a little heartbeat which is great after the terrible news we had yesterday.

Right, best crack on but just wanted to let you know you are still in my thoughts xxx

How are things Hogwarts? I like the idea about turning the tables on your H! This is such an awful decision for you to have to make, I hope you feel you can tell your Mum, you are her daughter and I think she will surprise you and be more supportive than you think, especially with the way your H is treating you.

Hogwarts...i have been following ur thread but havent commented yet...just want to let u knw that my heart aches for u n that u r a very brave and strong lady...hold on as u have done uptill now....
just one thing id like to add and that is abt telling ur mom...y dont u start by tellin her that u cant b bridesmaid at bros wedding...n that u r very sad u cant b ...n then tell her the reason...i m sure she will understand!
i hope this makes sense and is of any use for u...
please keep on posting and updating us..
best of luck with everything.
(((hugss)))

hey Hogwarts
thanks for reading all my long post! I was terrified about being on my own too. I know how you feel. It is a very scary place to be, where you are just now.
I didnt have a huge amount of support initially either. Most of my friends and family felt a termination was the best option for me due to my health, and if i were to be on my own, even more difficult with my health. Once i told them that i was going ahead, alone, they ALL supported me 100% and have never looked back.
There is SO much help available out there. Financial and emotional help, you wont be alone.
I was refered recently to a 'group' for want of a better word, of volunteer mums who go into help new mums, or mums with children, in all circumstances. they help with the Dc and mainly offer emotional support, or a little practical for me, on days I cannot lift my Isobel up. there are schemes like this al over the country.
there are working tax credits, help with child care, child tax credits, help with housing costs, council tax... everything. my area even have a charity in the borough, that specialise in helping you find which benefits you are entitield to , and what help you can claim, or apply for. THis is all pratical stuff, i know, but i just wanted yo uto know, if thats all taken care of, it may take a little weight off your mind knowing you might be alone. Dont forget also, your Husband will have to make decent contributions to the children and housing costs wether he likes it or not.

I realise the being on your own bit is more about the emoitional side, but, that will get better. you will get stronger, and Tbh, you will be so busy and immersed on your new family life, i doubt you will have much time to notice

Its all very frightening, and despite the fact you are already dealing with this alone, and previously looking after your children alone, its not the same as being officially alone... I just want to send you lots and lots of love, and again, wish i could meet up with you in RL. where do you live? I'd truly like to give you some proper support.

just sending you loads of love and positive thoughts. xx

Dear Hogwarts, You have made your decision to have your baby. Please don't have a late abortion..(for him). I have been following this thread and time is passing by. Your H sounds so awful that as I've gone back to read several posts I've missed I wondered if perhaps he is having an affair again? You typed in on the 24th Oct that you moved and everything on your own, that he is always working...really? Are you absolutely sure? He is being so awful to you in order to get his own way. Stick up for yourself and kick him into touch. Go to citizens advice and find out your rights, and then the next time he threatens you and heads off to the 'gym' pack his clothes, leave them at the end of the drive, change the locks and chuck him out. Give him a big shock and if he doesn't come back then you are better off without him anyway. Good luck, tell your Mum, ignore any snipes about db's wedding and teach your H a lesson. Sending you a big {{{{{hug}}}}. AS I said before you can replace a man, but you can never replace your children.

Hogwarst, good to hear you sounding a bit more positive about everything.

I hope that your mum is just as positive about your news and that it distracts her from the wedding for a little while. Perhaps your brother and SIL will thank you for giving her something else to think about.