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Conception

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Original poster

Got a BFP, not sure how I feel and DH isnt going to be happy

643 replies

hogwarts · 04/09/2007 11:31

I've also posted on the pregnancy board.

My period was late and yesterday I did a Pg test and got a BFP. DH and I have discussed another child, we have 2 already 5 & 8 and he was very much against it although I was very keen. We agreed that we wouldnt have another child and concentrate on our relationship. Circumstances at the min are not great financially although we had DS when I was 21 so not great timing then either! I havent told him that I have done the test but did tell him yday that it was very late - he has said constantly I hope you aren't pregnant. A bit of background is that DH had an affair 3 years ago and we seperated for 9 months. We are now very much together and have a stronger relationship, I'm just so scared that he will take this news badly and leave as he has been texting me all morning to tell me to get a test and do it and that he is worried sick that it is going to be BFP. I asked him this morning if he loved me which he answered yes, I asked him if he would still love me if I was pg and he said yes but he really did not want another child. I know this may seem insensitive of me when there are so many people trying very hard to conceive, its just such a very very big shock to me. Part of me is so pleased but the rest is shocked/scared/worried about DH reaction. I had my mirena coil out earlier this year, been on Cilest pill since. I am due to be bridesmaid at my brother and SIL wedding next March, by my reckoning I will be around 7 months pg by then - I'm due to go for the first fitting on Thursday - do I tell them or not, I dont want them to pay any money when I know I wont be able to do it but then again as I am only 4/5 weeks I dont want it made public....

What a pickle I'm in .... Please help

OP posts:
fireflyfairy2 · 16/11/2007 12:01

How are you Hogwarts?

I was wondering what with the bad news in NI over the past few days if your dh would have gathered some perspective regarding the wee one.

Hope you're doing well

kindersurprise · 14/11/2007 22:44

Glad to hear that your appointment went well on Monday. Hope that you and your Mum had a good chat and that you are feeling a bit better.

Take care of yourself and your lo.

looneytune · 14/11/2007 22:39

Oh goodness me, I've not been on for a couple of days and missed all this. I'm SOOOO pleased, you sound so much better for having made that decision, well done you .

How did it go with your mum? Ok I hope?

fulltimemum · 14/11/2007 13:42

Hi Hogwarts, I agree with greebos there will never be the ideal time to tell your mom. If you have told her please come and tell us what happened like I said before I don't want to sound nosy but we do care.

Hope you are having a lovely day!

GreebosWhiskersIsCherryRed73 · 14/11/2007 09:34

Hiya Hogwarts. Glad you sound so much brighter now Hope telling your mum went okay - you're probably never going to find the ideal time to do it so best just to get it over & done with.

Just wanted to let you know I'm still here in your bag

maisiemog · 13/11/2007 23:52

Hi Hogwarts, you sound a bit more resolved now, I'm glad you are thinking about you and bean because it means you are looking forward not so much in the limbo you were experiencing before.
Please try to take care of yourself, although it is hard to eat when you feel down.
I wish I could book you into a spa for a weekend of pampering. Maybe a pedicure?
Hugs

fireflyfairy2 · 13/11/2007 17:37

How'd it go Hogwarts?

Thinking of you xx

Buda · 13/11/2007 08:51

Glad you have come to a decision and are feeling brighter.

Good luck with telling your Mum.

x

positive · 13/11/2007 08:46

hi hogwarts,

so glad you sound so more positive today. as you have said making your decision now means that you can focus on you and beanie (and your other kids), there are plenty of mners around to give you support as and when you need it. good luck

Dropdeadfred · 13/11/2007 08:42

Congratulations Hogwarts! Best of luck.

becklebigbump · 13/11/2007 00:09

Glad you have come to a decision and that all is well Hogwarts!

bracingair · 12/11/2007 21:47

been following this and thinking of you. Glad you sound stronger. wishing you the best of luck

gigglewitch · 12/11/2007 21:36

good stuff hogwarts.

glad you have worked thru things in your own head. your mum will be a great ally, keep us posted on how things go. take us all to work and everywhere else in your bag if it still helps

Bectheneck · 12/11/2007 21:17

coolkat you've written exactly what I was thinking I'll adopt your spare second post if you like.

Good luck hogwarts x

coolkat · 12/11/2007 20:57

You have had such a crappy time Hogwarts, your last post sounds much brighter.

Wishing you loads of luck and a healthy pregnancy.

Take care and keep us posted on how that little bean is growing.

Good to hear from you.
X

coolkat · 12/11/2007 20:57

You have had such a crappy time Hogwarts, your last post sounds much brighter.

Wishing you loads of luck and a healthy pregnancy.

Take care and keep us posted on how that little bean is growing.

Good to hear from you.
X

expatinscotland · 12/11/2007 20:48

good luck, hogwarts! for a healthy pregnancy.

fireflyfairy2 · 12/11/2007 20:13

Good luck hog.

Just a suggestion: Is there any way at all you can write your mam a letter tonight, telling her everything you've been through (Including dh's suggestion!)? Put it in an envelope & let her read it after she drops the kids at school?

That way she can either ring you at work, or let the info sink in before you get home from work?

Congratulations on your pregnancy darlin', if you need anything at all, you know where I am

Bog love to you & bean xxx

Original poster
hogwarts · 12/11/2007 20:04

Hi fff2 and everyone [wave], I'm ok, thanks. Have been keeping a low profile lately, just havent felt like "chatting". Hope you aren't offended. Pregnancy wise all is ok, I was at the Dr today, got a signing off line am going back to work tomorrow He took my blood pressure and felt my tummy and all was fine. He was shocked when I told him I was 14 weeks today, though on feeling my tummy he seemed happy to confirm that? Luckily I have had no symptoms and am not showing at all, infact I have lost weight, probably due to stress/not eating. I feel ok though, tired. My tummy seems to "swell" at night though and I find I need to undo the button on my jeans. I told the Dr that I was going to proceed with the pregnancy and have made an appt with the antenatal clinic at my practice on Monday morning. He was going to ring the maternity unit at the hospital to make my booking in appt. I'm not 100% sure I have made the right choice but I know deep down I never can go through with the alternative.

DH and I have actually been getting on quite well over the past few days. That said the pregnancy has not been mentioned. In fact he hasnt even asked how I got on at dr today. I'm not bothered to be honest. Its me and the bean. I'm sad that I haven't given him/her the best start so far, in fact, up to now I have ignored the fact that I am pregnant but am determined that from now on I will ensure the best possible care whilst he/she is in there!

Tried to tell my mum earlier but she was rushing out. Tomorrow I have to leave DC round as she will take them to school for me as I start work at 830. I may tell her in the morning, failing that I will (try) to tell her when I get home from work and pick up DD. Crikey, wish me luck.

OP posts:
fireflyfairy2 · 12/11/2007 18:27

Hi Hogwarts, how's it going?

tryingnottoobsess · 11/11/2007 18:52

Yeah, Looney you're right, it was totally my decision. Sorry that you had a bad experience with the FPC, they should be ashamed of manipulating someone in such a vulnerable situation. I wasn't having a go, just wanted to give a different side to it as Hogwarts had previously seemed reluctant to mention that she'd thought about it.

gigglewitch · 11/11/2007 00:28

looney and expat you are so right!!

hi hogs, hope you can get back in for a chat soon

positive · 10/11/2007 16:00

hi hogwarts,

Havent posted here for sometime but have kept reading about how you are getting on.
Dont know what to say that will make your decision easier but gut feeling from what you have said makes me think you really want this baby.

Hope that you will be able to tell your mum soon no matter what you've decided.

take care x

fulltimemum · 10/11/2007 14:29

Hi Hogwarts, glad to hear from you. Hope this time alone thinking helped you and that you have got closer to making your discion.

I think that waiting until you have made your discion before telling your mom is a good idea. I still hope that she will be supportive.

I think that your husband should get his head checked out, he has two beautiful daughters and wonderful wife who loves him and accepted him back when he went haywire. It just doesn't sound like he is appreciating what he has and what he can have when this little bean enters the world. What some men wouldn't do to have a pregnant wife.

Bectheneck · 09/11/2007 22:59

Couldn't agree more expat. Would be nice to throw myself on the ground shouting 'S'not fair!' occasionally though.

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