Got a BFP, not sure how I feel and DH isnt going to be happy

Oh Hogwarts {{{{hugs}}}} What an insensitive batard!!!! Did he plan this? You know what......I think you should go and see your mum today and tell her if you can, you really need a RL* hug! Any man who can treat his wife like that isn't worth bothering with imo. Not easy for you but you know what, you pretty much bring those children up yourself if I remember correctly? And usually single parents get a lot more help from outside! (not that you want to think about that right now). I'm so annoyed with your H that I'd love to come over and give him a piece of my mind!!! And you're right, he will look like a right idiot for leaving in this situation!!!

I'm really sorry I can't say anything useful. I'm not very good at this stuff but couldn't ignore your post hun!

Please take care of yourself and make sure he doesn't bully you into anything. He's not a nice man at all is he

Looneytune xxx

Happy birthday lovely

hope you have managed to find some time to yourself, and to put your feet up and enjoy your day.

do come back and say hi. please?

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Hogwarts
Happy birthday to yooo-ooooo

[tone-deaf emoticon]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Hogwarts - been thinking of you and will be thinking of you all weekend.

PLEASE PLEASE come back so we know you've not disappeared

LT xxxxxxxxxx

Yes, Happy Birthday Hogwarts, have some nice choccies and watch 'Steel Magnolias' or something full of strong women.
Best of luck this weekend.

Hogwarts, thinking of you. Have a good birthday and " don't let the ba**ards get you down" Use your birthday excuse as a time to put your feet up and have some me time.
Easier said then done - I know.

Hogwarts, big is in for handbags this season

and can I suggest that you add mulled wine in case it gets a bit chilly in the bag.

Hope you are feeling better today.

Hogwarts - that bag is going to get VERY heavy you know!!!

Howarts, I'm glad you have chosen to ignore that ridiculous (I call a spade a shovel) poster. I can only hope that she isn't a marriage guidance counsellor.
Can you imagine! 'Right I'm sick of you saddos coming in here, crying because your 25 year marriage is ending. Pull yourself together you whiners!'
I think Bec (you sound amazing Bec) has made a really good suggestion about giving creating an deadline for the announcement.
I think it will be pretty scary, but provide a psychological 'end in sight', to all of this secrecy. You don't deserve to have to sneak around with all this pressure on you and your baby doesn't either.
You have given your H ample time to respond and I agree it is time for you to take control of what is happening, rather than hang around in this limbo of his creation.
It will be nerve-wracking but worth it to go public. I will be thinking of you this weekend and sending you positive vibes.

FlightyPGone - how dare you? I can't believe someone would come on just to post such a rotten, insensitive & bitchy comment. And as for your apology - "Sorry to be the bearer of harsh news but" - any apology ending in 'but' is meaningless. Don't ever presume to speak for me or anyone else on MN - I give my honest opinions, not what I think people want to hear, same as most other posters. If you don't like this thread then don't fcking click on it - we could do without you anyway, believe me

Hogwarts - I'm glad you were able to ignore the bitch & hope that you're feeling better now. It's obvious that your H has no intention of making the time to talk to you & it's a brilliant idea to give him a date when you will go public with your news. Well done for sorting out your ante-natal care - you make sure you start looking after yourself properly [GW puts on her stern face]

You sound as though you've been a single parent in all but name for a long time. I was the same with my ex-h - when I announced that we'd split everyone was shocked (although I really don't know why) & asked if I'd cope as a single parent & my gran surprised the hell out of me by saying "Why wouldn't she? She's been doing it for years." It was such a relief to have that support & I hope you know that you've got a lot of support right here on MN (& will have in rl too if you'd ever get around to telling your mum). I & loads of others will be in your handbag for as long as you need us although we'd appreciate a 12-pack of loo rolls, some chocolate biscuits & a daily pint of milk for the coffee

"And I think i speak for most of the people on mumsnet....." - yes you do!!!

FLIGHTYPGONE you disgusting, horrible, insensitive bitch. what the hell do you think gives you the right to post a vile, rude string of crap, and then suggest that others may be thinking it? really, what the hell do you think you are doing?

How dare you talk to someone on here in that manner. Someone who is clearly at the lowest point in her life, struggling to tread water, without going under. have you any idea how damaging a post like that could be to someone in this situation?

you are a nasty piece of work, and i hope to GOD that you never need support, empathy or anything else from mumsnet, as you simply will not deserve it.

Hogwarts is coming here to ESCAPE from the shit that is going on in her real life. It is her place for peace, and support. It is all she really has at the moment. And I think i speak for most of the people on mumsnet when i say that support is exactly what this woman has. Love, care support and as much advise as she needs to get through this difficult time. She is not here to get that kind of thing thrown at her.

Like I say, i sincerely hope you never need this type of input from other posters , and i sincerely hope to god that you never go through anything like Hogwarts is. She is a far better person than you, and as such will survive this, with or without you delightfully sympathetic post. I hope you feel really good about your self now.

Hogwarts sweetheart, PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN TO ANYTHING THAT PERSON HAS POSTED. it is NOT what everyone else is thinking. please continue to post as MUCH as you need, or want. we are always here for you. I know how much of a life line it is.

take care and please please ignore it.

xx

Lemme tell you this, hog, because I have nothing but daughters.

I will never be disappointed in my girls.

They are mine. They are what I have got.

I love them unconditionally.

I am only 36, but I have lived a thousand years.

There are so many different kinds of love in the world. So many.

There are really no limits.

Please tell your family and friends.

They love you.

If I were your mother, and who knows, one day I may well be the mother to such a woman, I would want to know so I could support my child.

There is no more unconditional love, I am convinced.

Thanks hogwarts I also like the idea of telling H that he has til x to talk and then you're telling your mum etc. Let's face it, you'll be showing soon enough so not like you can put it off - even HE has to see that!

Lots more {{{ hugs }}}, good luck with your mum and with the Dr too. Hope H takes the time to talk but if he doesn't, don't let that stop you going ahead with things!!!

Thinking of you xxx

Hey hogy~ (kate waves at hogwarts across the cyberspace) Just so you know - I have not posted lately but was reading your post all the time. You're one of the sweetest, most conscientious people I have met. You certainly did not deserve that stupid post. But you know - that goes to show how MN comes so close with R/L. And in R/L there are insensitive comments. But guess what - let's not bring that up anymore (kate hands off hogwarts a cup of hot coca with marshmallows on the top).

I am so pleased to read that you're moving along with your prenatal arrangements. That is just a proof of what a great mom you're

I actually wanted to say that I love the earlier suggestion about giving your H (remember I am not calling him DH, just can't... sorry) a date of when you'll talk to your family. He absolutely can find time to sit down and discuss matters with you. And if he doesn't - well that is another piece of information for you to use as you make decisions about your future with him. I think maybe that is the way to look at this situation - there is a baby... and there is a husband... both are in your future. You're already taking care of your future with the baby... I guess we'll need another thread to chat about the husband deal, huh, girlfriend?

{{{hugs to you}}} gotta run - but will check in with you soon.

Hogwarts, I have never posted on your thread but have been following with sympathy, I imagine there are many others like me who are silently following.
Don't give up on this thread the strength that you have shown is incredible, the words of advise and help fantastic.
Hang in there chick and stay strong for your DC.

I didn't tell my Mum for a good few weeks when I found out about DS1 as I didn't want her to be disappointed in me. I knew she'd be supportive but I was dreading the initial response. I took my sister with me in the end and Mum took it just fine anyhow!

She said not long ago that she was sad that I felt I couldn't tell her straight away but everything's ok between us.

I know the reasons why you're putting it off but you will feel so much better once it's out in the open. What exactly do you have to discuss with your DH first? By not discussing it with you is he hoping it will all go away? Maybe you should tell him that you plan to tell Mum/parents on a certain date/day so that if he does want to talk to you about it then he knows there is a deadline and he has to make time from work . It's good that you're making practical arrangements re antenatal care. That will all help to make it more real.

My exDH didn't want me to go ahead with DD2 (he didn't really want DD1 either ) but there was no way I wouldn't have gone ahead with it. He left anyway later when they were both tiny but I've never regretted it.

Don't stop posting here! I am hoping for a happy ending for you but I have a feeling you will cope whatever happens. We just do don't we?! It sounds like you have good family and friends. Make the most of them!

Hogwarts - I have seen many threads deliberating abortion on here but I have never seen the original poster be so so sensitive and apologetic to those who are ttc as you have been.

I hope you are ok, my heart breaks for you, I can understand why you are trying to protect your OH - as big as an a*shole (sorry!) he is being at the minute - you married him - he is the father of your children - I can understand.

Just want to wish you all the luck in the world x hope everything works out for you and your family xx

Hogwarts,

please do not let a random poster spoil what has been a lovely supportive thread for you.

It has been one of the best threads that I have seen on MN, I loved that everyone was very supportive but reserved until you said that you were almost positive that you wanted to continue the pregnancy, then we all crawled out of the woodwork to say "YAY". I had tears in my eyes a good few times when reading your story.

You have struggled with so much these past weeks, you are singlehandedly bringing up your DCs, you have moved house, you are coping with a unplanned pregnancy that your husband does not want, and with the pressure he is putting on you.

I was in a similar situation a couple of months ago and I have said for the past 3 years that I would not cope with a further pregnancy and birth. I was really frightened but did not do anything about it, I just sat it out. I was more than 2 weeks late (and I am normally v. regular) and I did not do anyhing. So I can sympathise with you putting off the decision.

It is a life-altering decision, you are well within your rights to take the time to decide.

Hogwarts - you've had a bad day and she's made you feel worse but although YES, you do need to confide in your mum or someone and start making this pregnancy real, you must still come back for support as only us on here know what you've been through and we want to continue to support you!!

xxx

looney
ditto