Got a BFP, not sure how I feel and DH isnt going to be happy

Hey hogwarts thought i'd come back and check how you're doing. STAY STRONG. i bet you he won't leave or if he does he'll come crawling back when he hears you've given birth to his child.
I know you're strong enough to do it. Please listen to everyone on here - it's your baby,growing inside your womb and no matter what HE says you will have so much support and if you get a divorce he will also have to support u and his kids ! (i think ...don;t know much about legal stuff lol!)
Anyway lots of hugs .........stay strong! tell your mum! everything will work out great. Follow your instincts as a mother. xxxx Let us all know how ur getting on !

a couple of his mates would liek to have a go, too, including one who was a teenage father.

his partner didn't want an abortion.

so he bucked up and supported her decision.

Now picturing an orderly queue behind expatinscotland's dh.

YOU are not being selfish, YOU are not splitting up your family, YOU are not depriving your DCs of a father.

And in your heart, you know this. He is manipulating your feelings and using your guilt against you to get what HE wants.

At the end of the day though, you are the one who has to live with your decision. You have to bring up your children alone. It is easy for me sitting in a happy home with an intact family to give advice. It is not me facing this horrible dilemma. I can only offer you my sympathy, and a virtual shoulder to cry on.

I really hope that you are able to make the right decision, not the right decision for your husband or your children or even for the unborn baby. For YOU as you are important. You are not just a mum or a wife or a daughter.

I do think that you need some RL support now. I hope that you can speak to your family and tell them how things stand.

Thinking of you

And also, I cannot count the number of women who have been in your shoes - low life scumbag of a partner - who have gone through splits.

They've been homeless, alone, on benefits, scared, with 3 or even more children - some with special needs, and they have come through it!

And they would be more than willing to be a source of support for you.

I can think of 4 people just by name off the top of my head who've been there!

You are NOT alone!

You know something? Part of what makes a great father is how he treats the mother of his children.

And so look how he treats you.

And also, he's acting like a 3-year-old.

In fact, worse than one because they get over things quickly.

My husband's been following this thread and he's so shocked on your behalf, he'd love to take this excuse of a chap on .

WAIT A SEC!

This is the bastard who cheated on YOU and you can him a second chance because your family was important to you and he has the fucking AUDACITY to accuse YOU of being selfish and breaking up the family because you will not submit to his fucking EMOTIONAL ABUSE and have a second-trimester termination you don't want?!

Have you read this?

Do you realise how this looks to most of the world?

Did you tell your family and friends? Because you deserve their love and support and he has so bullied and manipulated you that you don't think you do!

And I'm sorry, but he's a WASTE OF SPACE.

There is no other way for it.

Better to walk alone than badly accompanied.

If YOU had come on here and said you wanted this, then go for it.

But you've said from the get go that you don't, and he's spent the last TWO MONTHS abusing and bullying you.

HOnestly, I'd kick him the fuck out.

I have not read the whole thread but have read quite a few posts especially the last few.

I want to start by giving you a huge ((((HUG))) the pain & upset you must be feeling is beyond me

Please do not be bullied into making a decsion you will regret for the rest of your life, please put your feelings first you are this babies mother, you are carrying this baby & your love no matter what will be unconditional for this child like your others.

Please look at the situation this way, your dh has said you are making a mistake, he has said if you keep the baby you will split the family he will leave, he has said if you have a termination everything will be hunky doory (again thinking of himself) it will not be hunky doory at all, maybe on his part it will be but you will leave to regret this forever & not only that you will become to resent him & hate him for what he has made you do, you will blame him it will be his fault in your eyes, it is not what you want.
Either way your reltionship has a chance of ending but i think it has more of a chance of surviving if you keep this baby, you never know how your dh will react when the baby finally arrives, it could all work out.

He is being a very very selfish, unthoughtful arse, he is putting so much pressure on you, he is wanting to make you feel like it would be the biggest mistake of your life but it would not be the biggest mistake of your life would be to terminate for someone elses selfish reasons.

You are making the right descision, you want this baby, you already love this baby so please go with what you feel not be pushed into something you totally don't want.

Have strength you will get through this, you will be stronger than you know, you have come this far, please do the right thing for you & your other children.

Picture your 3 children running around in the garden/house playing, laughing & talking, no child is a mistake it is a blessing.

FlightyPGone - No one is thinking like you, everyone has situation we are all different, how dare you come on being a bithc like that, why don't you kick someone when there down, people like you are bot worth talking or listening to your post is absolute crap, go spout your mouth of somewhere else

Oh Hogwarts your H is a real Arse to do this on your birthday the C word harsh but I am sorry he is!!!!

I can tell you now when your children (all three of them) are grown up and you sit them down and explain why their Dad left the last thing they will think is oh god wasnt Mum selfish! You will get through this with or without him although if it was me it would be without him as he has show what a horrid piece of crap he is! It will be hard but you will be OK and in a few years you will look back and think god I am so glad that happened and opened my eyes up to what sort of Man he is! whats next you have an abortion and then what does he blackmail you with because that is what he is doing to you - Me or the Baby gosh it would take me all of one second to choose!

I know you love this Man but just look at the why he is treating you if you were reading this tread looking in what would you say to the lady writing it - honestly???

Chin up and TELL YOU MUM you need her x

All of them.

Hello Hogwarts, have skimmed the thread and read the last few posts.
It seems he is being very manipulative. You are not "forcing" a separation on the kids, he is.
You must be feeling very weary.I think you need to remind yourself often that you are doing what you feel is the right thing for you and your children.

You are not being selfish...he is.

Your existing children will love having a new sibling.

You will love having a new baby

Your family and friends will love having a new baby in the family

Your husband is the one behaving like a selfish child, he is the one demanding you go against your own decision.

He knows if he does not bully you into an abortion before your pregnancy is common knowledge, then he will have to accept the new baby, else look a twat to every member of both your families and friends.

I haven't read all the posts but the last few - your charmless hb is doing a real job on you.

If you have your baby he says he'll leave; if you have an abortion he's blackmailed you in to having, can you really see your relationship lasting?

In many ways it seems like a doomed relationship unless he suddenly grows up. That may sound harsh, but it wasn't meant to be - just an attempt to see it in black and white. Does his presence make you happy? Does the thought of the baby make you happy? Choose the one that does.

Hogwarts I can not imagine how you are feeling. Could you try and look and see how you would feel if you did have an abortion. Your DH seems to think that if you had one it woud all be ok - from what you have said it would not be (understandibly). Only you can decide what to do and no one on here would judge you for doing either but don't feel pressured by him as although he would be happy after an abortion I should think you would be far from it.
You are in an awful position but have so many people rooting for you.
Be strong.

Thinking of you. X

No problem hunny, I'm sorry I couldn't do something that would make your H act different What a shitty day and it should have been a happy one {{{hugs}}}. You have NOT made the wrong decision, he is trying to emotionally BULLY you and you need to stick up for yourself and your unborn child!! Your kids with love you no matter what you do and tbh, if this is how your H behaves, I think your better off without him. He may change his mind later on but even if he doesn't, I KNOW you'll manage and be a fantastic mum!!!

Wish I could say something that would make it all better. Just take comfort in the fact we're all here for you and will see you through this right to the end!!!

Take care

Looneytune xxx

Hogwarts, i've had a few days on hol with DH and kids for half term (blardy freezing too) and came back to the thread to find those very bizarre posts from "FlightyPGone" - if you re-read the whole thread, which i just did, partly out of interest and partly messing with the format (what have they done to it?) it shows that there are three hundred and something good ones all supportive and understanding. With three or four nasty remarks all from the same person. Dear me someone must have been feeling grumpy, but no need to take it out on this thread. Anyway, what i'm saying is do the basic maths : the good stuff is 99% and the one you don't need to listen to is less than 1%. The facts stand up, don't they? keep on talking hogs (and sparkle) cos we want to help you. I say bog off to those who don't, they shouldn't be on the thread.

Belated birthday treat to cheer you up

xxx

Hogwarts - how are you now hun?

Hogwarts just reading your last post has made my fists itch - it's a good job you don't live anywhere near me or I'd be kicking seven shades of shit out of him I don't believe it's a coincidence that he chose today of all days to 'talk' about things (not that there seems to have been much talking as he's obviously not willing to to anything but what pleases him). I know you love him but he really does not deserve your love - he had an affair, you took him back & now he wants you to get rid of your child. He's a walking piece of crap & imho the best thing the selfish bastard could do for you is leave & let you start to get your life back together sooner rather than later.

I'm so sorry that your birthday's been so rubbish so far & hope it gets better from here - take you & the dcs off to your mum's & let her pamper you for a while. Today might even be the best day to tell her your news as there's really no point in keeping it a secret any longer.

Oh, shit, Hogwarts, that is rotten. What a horrible thing to do, today of all days. I am sooo for you.

At the end of the day, I think you are doing the right thing, get it out in the open. I hope that your Mum will be supportive and will give you a big hug. You definately need it.

Hope the rest of your birthday is better. {{hugs}}

Oh Hogwarts, I do not know what to say.
We all know your DH is acting like the total tosser but good on you for standing your ground. He knows you mean business now so just stay strong for your little ones and hold your head up high.

Enjoy the rest of your day with the children. X

{{{Hugs}}}

Your husband is a total bastard to do that on your birthday

I hope you can get some real life support, could you ring up your friend whom you told about your pregnancy ?

I have been following your story and hopeing that your husband would do the right thing, I still hope he will...once your pregnancy is out in the open.

Keep your chin up and think about your wonderful children...all three of them They are the ones who will value and love you unconditionally for life.