Ttc at 40 something!

@Jaylou7 - congratulations! And @loulamay - I hear you. Also trying for first baby (at 41, almost 42). In turns devastated at the idea that I’ve left it too late and terrified that it might happen and turn my life upside down.

So it’s official but after 2 loses I won’t be celebrating until I see my baby at my 12 weeks scan. X

*with partner's sperm! not eggs. Lockdown has made me insane.

Being in lockdown is starting to do funny things to my brain I swear! I go so up and down in my feelings about TTC. Partner and I both turned 40 at the beginning of the year, all tests show that I have a decent egg reserve, am ovulating, partner's sperm count on the low end (16mil) but no other problems. We've been trying for a year with no luck. Had one failed IUI so far and not sure if we should try any more or just go straight to IVF.

We actually live in South Africa although I'm British and so the lockdown here is very strict with no new fertility treatments allowed, we haven't been allowed out to exercise for 5 weeks - plus no alcohol on sale! Might not be a bad thing as I do like a glass of wine.

I've read so many different articles on diet and alcohol but I'm never really sure how much impact that actually has. I know tons of friends who drank and smoked and did little to no exercise and fell pregnant easily. But maybe I'm using that as an excuse because I know I should cut down on the caffeine and wine!

I do have some eggs that I froze when I was 35 and so the minute we're allowed to, I am thinking of getting those fertilized with partner's eggs so we can at least see where we're at.

There are some nights when I just lie in bed awake at 3am and feel such total devastation at the idea of never becoming a mother.

Anyone with any failed IUIs that can advise on trying more rounds or skipping straight to IVF? The success rates are so depressingly low over 40.

I think any blood clotting disorder that may stop blood flow to the placenta, as well as preeclampsia. But you should ask your doctor, I am no expert!

Do you know why it is supposed to help? X

Is also told to take low dose (75mg) aspirin throughout my pregnancy

I was advised to take it for pregnancy. Apparently it helps and has no downside.

Thank you. Sorry for your loss x

Good morning. Have any of you ladies been advised to take aspirin during pregnancy? If so do you personally recommend ?

Just caught up with this thread and read your sad news @chickoletta - I'm so sorry this has happened to you. You sound so brave and positive considering - good luck with your next attempt xxx

@lucieloos - we were taking on the other thread I think, and you asked about progesterone supplementation? My LP is short too - it used to be 10 days but the longest I've had since I stopped breastfeeding my twins in December is just over 9 days, so I'm currently using utrogestan to lengthen it in a (fairly hopeless) effort to try naturally while we wait for it clinic to reopen. It does work - I start it the day after ovulation and take for two weeks then test. AF arrives 2 days after stopping it. Obviously if a miracle happens and I get a BFP will need to keep using it to 12 weeks.

Thank you both. Being in lockdown with the DCs (6&9) has forced us to put on a brave face and get on with things rather!
Will keep everything crossed for you both this month.

Hi Ladies, so pleased to have found this thread. I was 40 in January have 2 ds 14 & 3 and desp for a third. So I’ve had 2 chemicals in the last 7 months. I also lost a baby in between that due to medical complications. My last chemical was beginning this month. We tried straight away and today I got a faint pos on first response. There is a huge doubt for me as a this am I spotted a little. This is how my chemicals normally start. My period is due Wed/Thurs. I’m in a bit of a state because my partner is saying that this is the last month he wants to try!! I pray this one sticks but 99% doubtful now. The line was super faint also. I have to get a girl but it’s like an awful waiting game.
I am so sorry for your loses (briefly read the thread) @Chickoletta you seem so strong and positive. Thoughts with you all.
Ladies never give up.
If this is a loss will def get some tests as had none to date. Xx

Hi! So pleased to hear from you and happy to hear you are ok and set to try again. I think you should be able to get an earlier scan next time around, but am sure there are more knowledgeable people than me on this thread. I am testing end of this week. Given my chemical pregnancy in March I am also hoping that it makes us more fertile afterwards.

Thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughts. I’m ok. Went for my second scan today to check that everything had resolved naturally and it has, so that’s good.

There was a sad irony to the fact that it fell on the day that would have been my 12 week scan, when we should have been telling the world we were having twins but I’m trying not to dwell on that.

We have decided that we’ll try again as soon as possible. Today’s midwife seemed to suggest that I needn’t even wait for a proper period before trying, but I think I will.

Scared at the thought that, as we’re supposed to be more fertile after miscarriage, it will be twins again. Not that I don’t want twins, just that it makes things more risky.

Does anyone know whether I would be able to have early scans on the NHS next time around as I’ve had a MMC? I certainly don’t think I could (or should) wait until 12 weeks.

Anyway, sorry for the epic post. How is everybody else getting on? Anyone testing soon?

Hello all! Am 1DPO so starting the TWW. How is everyone today? @chickoletta sending you a hug.

I’m so sorry for your loss @Chickoletta. I hope things will go naturally for you and you won’t need any medical intervention. Love and hugs to both you and your DH.

Thank you. It’s been a tough week. Last Sat night DH scanned me at home (he’s a vet and has a swanky ultrasound scanner) and we knew then really, as we couldn’t see anything ‘baby’ like. We did this with our other two pregnancies and it was just magical but this was devastating. And stupid. It was 10pm on the Sat of a bank holiday weekend so we had no support at all when we most needed it. I was referred for a scan on Weds but had already done a lot of my grieving by then.
I was told that I’d have to be rescanned on 27th - the law apparently, in case I’ve got my dates wrong. Then they would start to manage the miscarriage. Seemed like such a long time to wait.
As it turns out, I’ve started to cramp and bleed today so it looks like things are going to happen naturally. I’m a bit scared but pleased that it should all be over sooner than I feared.

On no @Chickoletta. I am so sorry to hear that. Such sad news.

Really sorry to hear that @Chickoletta, I hope you are ok

Hi everybody - I hope you’re all doing ok.
Sad news from me I’m afraid. Found out on Weds that I’ve had a MMC. It was twins but they stopped developing at around 8 weeks - I should be 11 weeks now. Obviously, we are devastated but I have been so well looked after by the EPU team. I’ve read lots about how the medical fraternity don’t really care in these situations and that could not be further from my experience. The wonderful midwives have assured me that I have every chance of a successful pregnancy soon if we choose to try again.

We are so busy with 2 young toddlers I tend to mainly try and time it around the opk but I'm thinking this might not have the best possible outcome?

Hi @lucieloos! Trying to do the deed a couple of times a week generally, and every day mid-cycle (days 11-14). How about everyone else?