Fuck you TTC

I’ve finally given up and had to post.

FUCK YOU TTC!!! Another month, another period arrives. This time I was convinced it might actually be the month after my shitty luteal phase extended but no - a BFN! Thanks for the 2 days of hope. The crushing disappointment was just lovely.

Fuck living from one fertile window to the next.

Fuck the doctors that really don’t give a shit about my unimportant secondary infertility. Only it’s everything to me.

Fuck the building pressure of age and an ever increasing gap.

Fuck every1 who says ‘just relax’ ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!

Fuck a low AMH and a consultant who loves to tell me how low my chances of naturally conceiving really are.

FUCK the arrival of my period. Along with it comes a first clomid cycle and the dread of the crushing disappointment that will almost certainly follow.

I wish this process didn’t make me so utterly miserable. And sound so full of self pity.

@BabyMoonPie Thanks for the welcome!

I've been lurking here for aaaaaaaages, definitely in need of catharsis this month and fellow feeling. It sucks that we are here, but it's great to have company.

@DinkBoo - I'm so glad you joined us- it's very cathartic to have a place to vent and let it out

(I finally registered just for this!)

Fuck you every media and literary portrayal of conception or pregnancy ever.

Fuck you being 40 soon.

Fuck you not being able to just get this done on my own, having to juggle dh's feelings and ed, with actually getting any chance of ever getting a bfp.

Fuck ttc whilst long term unemployed and seeking work in a pandemic so life feels even more fucking empty and overthinking every twinge is even easier.

Fuck you body that feels every fucking thing.

Fuck you period for arriving.

Fuck my age for making every month alternate between is this it or is this the start of perimenopause.

That helped.

Another month and another rant on this thread.

Ovia said my period would start on Saturday - it didn't. Took a test which was negative. Starting to get a little hopeful that maybe i tested too early and my period arrived yesterday - longest cycle in 12 months.

We're just back from a week at Center Parcs which was lovely and DD had a blast but it made me so sad to see the spare bed in her room that we'll likely never need. I think I'm starting to accept that after 21 months trying we're not going to have a second child and then I'm surrounded by so many babies and pregnant women and I feel an actual physical ache to be pregnant.

Fuck you TTC

I feel. The same as you all :(

I'm so tired of it all now, I feel like giving up but still holding on it may stil happen. Everyone around me seems to be pageant or had kids and has no issues getting pregnant!! This is totally shit.

4 months since my last period

Everything has been super hard just now.

It’s my birthday and if it wasn’t bad enough, I had to listen to DPs friends go on and on about being pregnant twice.
I’m currently awaiting a fertility appointment

FUCK. THIS. SHIT.

Fuck you DH's toxic ex wife who managed to have four with him without even blinking. Fuck you DH for not being as devastated as I am every time i get AF. Fuck you AF for arriving tonight when i really thought we'd finally done it. Fuck you depo injection. Fuck you well meaning family members who keep saying 'It will happen' Fuck you to the fucking glass I keep in the bathroom cabinet to do all my fucking shitty tests in. Fuck you MIL for saying I have four stepchildren so that should be enough. Fuck you moon cups. Fuck you tampax. Just everyone FUCK OFF AAGHHH

Can I add a fuck you to my period which is 5 days late and a further fuck you to all the negative bastarding tests? 😩😂

Fuck this bullshit. Currently laying on my sofa when I should be working on my laptop, with awful period pains. My back and lower stomach are killing me so I'm using a hot water bottle and dosed up on prescribed painkillers, which just aren't touching the sides, and I'm here in tears extremely pissed off. I came on today as predicted,14dpo and cd30.

I already have a dd who's 3, and in Jan 2019 I had a mc and I haven't been able to fall pregnant since. Earlier this year I had a scan which shows everything is healthy (although I have a small chocolate ovarian cyst on left ovary) and had a CD21 blood test which shows I'm ovulating. Plus I get ov pain (always on the right side) and I use opks. DH had sperm analysis in June which is clear.

I've got a video call with the gynaecologist at the hospital on Thursday and I'm going to push for a lab and tubes flushed or HyCosy. I'm going to be 40 in December and I'm just so fed up. Being in agony doesn't help and is a real kick in the fanny (that's what the pain feel like!)
I'm taking vitamin D, Coq10, Agnus Cactus and Folic Acid, so I'm at a loss.

Just wanted to say thanks for this thread.

Had so many symptoms this month, did OPK's so knew when I was ovulating, dtd exactly when we should have in the days before and after ovulation, used pre-seed. I really thought it was our month. Got cramps and a tiny bit of spotting and thought it was implantation- now the spotting is heavier followed by a BFN (I am CD25) so I am obviously coming on early.

FUCK it all.......now I have to go to a meeting at work with several heavily pregnant women and I don't want to. I'd rather go back to bed and sleep and forget about this awful shit.

@Veenah Wow, like you have to pencil in your baby into your busy schedule?! Fuck her.

Fuck another month of BFN’s
Fuck seemingly everyone around me being pregnant or with babies
Fuck life for not making it our turn yet

Fuck you to the fertility acupuncturist who told us that there's a baby waiting for us but it's looking down on us wondering where it will fit into our busy lives so we have to make time to show the baby we are ready for it and want it . Not just a lovely way of making me blame myself, but also very inaccurate. We're not some power couple who never have time.

That happened a while ago but has been bothering me again today as I've just had a laparoscopy so literally had someone cut me open to try to help us have a baby, I wonder if that's a clear enough sign to the baby or the universe or whatever the hell she was on about

Fuck you ttc!!!! 🖕This shit is hard and I'm so fucking pissed off with it. Fuck you af 🖕for turning me into a miserable cow every month and causing me a stupid amount of pain. Just a big 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕 to it all.

Can I join?

Fuck you to every month being full of disappointment and fuck you TTC to turning me into a miserable bitch. TTC for 2 years, not a hint of a line and now my friend has announced she’s pregnant after coming off the pill and not even having a single period! Pregnant within 6 weeks :(
I feel like I’ve officially given up- this news really brought me down :(

Fuck you to my period arriving tonight. We agreed a cut off of when we'd stop so we're trying one more month and that's it - if we don't conceive DD will be an only child. I'm beyond sad at the prospect and reality is sinking in fast. Because there's no medical reason it's not worked so far I always assumed it would just take time and that time is nearly up.

I'm just reviving this to say fuck you to being told I should "just relax and stop trying" 9 cycles in, 5 months after my 2nd chemical pregnancy.