Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Fuck you TTC

483 replies

painintheholeSIL · 31/01/2020 07:45

Today should be day one of my period. No sign. We've been ttc dc2 since summer 2018. I don't have any tests in the house. I'm trying not to symptom spot, I haven't told anyone in real life that we're trying.
Our son is almost 4. I'm desperate to give him a sibling. I adore him. He's amazing.

But I am aching to have another baby. People keep asking when we're going to and we just laugh off the questions. They hurt. Every one of them hurts. I suppose I'm just looking for people who understand.

Every single thread I look at in relation to this ends up full of BFPs and I'm just not in the space where I can read those and not feel devastated.

So Fuck you to TTC.
Fuck you to months off slightly delayed periods
Fuck you to every fucker that asks me every time they see me if I have any news
Fuck you to the whole fucking lot of it.

Anyone care to add theirs?

OP posts:
AggieD86 · 02/02/2020 20:53

@painintheholeSIL, ohhh how you get me, I know they are dissappinted but all in all it's not them who has to do the ovulation tests, measure their temperature, figure out if the owulation has come or not, get you blood diagnosed every now and then and finally lie on the hospital bed when the pregnancy is miscarried, the burden is mostly on us and let's not be afraid to say it... and then someone tells you to "relax and it will come" damn hahahah

Original poster
painintheholeSIL · 02/02/2020 20:37

Ugh. Well not we'll. I really need to proof readHmm

OP posts:
Original poster
painintheholeSIL · 02/02/2020 20:36

@AggieD86 I know what you mean! I'd love Dh to say just once "we'll fuck it, it is shit" he just says "ah if it happens great and if not then that's ok too.
I told him my period had started and he didn't even blink. Is it awful that I wanted him to be as gutted as me for just a second?
I know he is a bit disappointed but he wouldn't upset me by saying it and he knows if he gave me an opening I'd be talking about it all day🙈😂😩

And fuck it to the drinking thing too! Absolutely fuck that shit!!🙌

OP posts:
AggieD86 · 02/02/2020 20:28

@painintheholeSIL, thank you Dear

Original poster
painintheholeSIL · 02/02/2020 20:21

@QueenRefusenik yes you have! It is fucking shit. Bless your ds. Mine says he doesn't want a sibling😂 maybe the little monkey has jinxed us!

OP posts:
QueenRefusenik · 02/02/2020 19:33

I HAVE FOUND MY TRIBE

Fuck you, month 37 of ttc for dc2

Fuck you, early perimenopause

Fuck you, career, for not letting me start earlier

Sorry, DS(4) who is being very gentle about his occasional hints

We've decided we'll stop trying in September, just another 8 months of this shit

Original poster
painintheholeSIL · 02/02/2020 19:13

And @AggieD86 I'm sorry for what you're dealing with too.Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
painintheholeSIL · 02/02/2020 19:13

@AggieD86 it's good to be able to share what's really going on with women who understand. I can't discuss it at all IRL.
Even DH isn't great for talking about it. Not in a bad way, he's just a focus on the positives kind of guy.

Sometimes I just want to talk about the shit that this is. Knowing that it may never happen. That my period makes me want to cry. I have no idea when I ovulate. Fuck it all.

And bless every single one of you ladies here. It's so good to be understood.

OP posts:
AggieD86 · 02/02/2020 17:37

@Rybenka - sounds like a chemical pregnancy, sym I had this month, the doctor said it was not a pregnancy, but if it's not why is it called like this ughhh ;p
also the AF after this "non-pregnancy" is much more severe and I am passing tissue (sorry for the visual) and also not a thing for me in the usual cycle
Thank you for this thread @painintheholeSIL, nobody is pretending here, not common IRL

Original poster
painintheholeSIL · 02/02/2020 15:33

@ChelleF123 posted too soon. It's nice to chat to other women who are feeling exactly the same things.

OP posts:
Original poster
painintheholeSIL · 02/02/2020 15:32

@ChelleF123 I'm glad it has. It's shit.

OP posts:
ChelleF123 · 02/02/2020 14:20

And @painintheholeSIL thank you for this thread. I feel better for putting my list in. It’s pulled me out of the pity party for one I was having today.

Rybenka · 02/02/2020 12:56

@chelleF123 i can relate so much to all you've written there!!! Fuck all of it! And many hugs to you!
@CorneliusBeefington i occasionally have 1-2 heavy days in some months but it is certainly not a usual thing for me...hence i wonder what was body going through this month. I had terrible migraine, fatigue and cramps for almost 10 days before AF arrived.

ChelleF123 · 02/02/2020 12:24

Yes! FUCK YOU TTC

Fuck you early miscarriage
Fuck you feeling broken
Fuck you “at least you know can get pregnant even if it didn’t last”
Fuck you “it’ll happen when you relax”
Fuck you ovulation sticks
Fuck you body playing the most cruel trick and making me think I was pregnant this month
Fuck you stark white pregnancy tests
Fuck you AF which has left me in an absolute sad mess today.

And much love to each and every one of you ladies. Hugs to everyone who needs it today Flowers

CorneliusBeefington · 02/02/2020 11:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rybenka · 02/02/2020 11:53

Thanks @painintheholeSIL. I am ok, got drunk with my colleagues on the first night of AF so that released the TTC nerves quite well :)
Unfortunately i have a couple of months of the last year when my symptoms were shouting that my body was implanting something or was pregnant... and then AF arrived, stronger than usually. I have no way of knowing what happened really. But it does feel a bit sad. So fuck that! (On the plus side, it did lead to very honest chats with my DH and that's always good).

Original poster
painintheholeSIL · 02/02/2020 11:38

@Rybenka I hope you're okThanks

OP posts:
Rybenka · 02/02/2020 11:07

Fuck you heavy period flow making me doubt whether it's actually AF or something else, given the symptoms i had recently :(

Original poster
painintheholeSIL · 02/02/2020 11:03

@fingerscrossed2019 🙌

OP posts:
fingerscrossed2019 · 02/02/2020 10:49

Fuck you to the 2ww symptoms being the same as aunt flo ones. And just fuck you to the 2ww. 😂🤷‍♀️

Original poster
painintheholeSIL · 02/02/2020 10:40

@Lnix it is shit isn't it? Even Dh said last night maybe you're pregnant, he NEVER says anything like that. Never. I haven't told him yet that AF has arrived.

OP posts:
Original poster
painintheholeSIL · 02/02/2020 10:38

@CorneliusBeefington I think I need to do the same. Lose a bit of weight and take the focus off ttc for a while. What is pre-seed?

OP posts:
Lnix · 02/02/2020 10:16

With you on both counts OP...not testing anymore and also those late periods giving hope even when you KNOW you aren't pregnant. 🤬

CorneliusBeefington · 02/02/2020 09:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
painintheholeSIL · 02/02/2020 08:48

@Wrigleys123 I don't test anymore either. Somehow I don't feel as gutted when AF arrives as I do when I see the negative test.

OP posts: