Fuck you TTC

Thanks everyone, it’s so good to have a place to vent, a place we can say the things we can’t say to anyone in our day to day life.x

That was cathartic
Fuck you to having to beg my partner to try one more time

Fuck my mum telling me it's a good job my last pregnancy didn't work out as my house not big enough (I was complaining about my partner not wanting to move).
Fuck people telling me I should be happy with the child I have (I am, I can still want another).
Fuck people telling me that my miscarriages mean it's not meant to be.
Fuck people telling me to just get a dog.

@skh197 Oh I know the feeling. I try my hardest to be a jealous bitch. Yet here I am over here green with envy over my 19 year old cousin “accidentally” falling pregnant.
I’m 37 and all my friends have their babies. It hurts xxx

So fuck you TTC for making me even think these things about the people I love.

This is one of the worst things. I absolutely hate myself for feeling like that too.

Ohh can I please join you all? Reading all your posts has made me feel a little less alone this evening. So...
Fuck you TTC for first time aged 40.
Fuck you to all the hours wasted trawling the internet checking ‘symptoms’.
Fuck you to all the hours spent daydreaming about how I’ll tell my family and friends I’m pregnant and never getting to do it.
Fuck you to not realising how emotionally and physically draining TTC would be.
And worst things to say...
Fuck you to the scan photo the whole family was surprised with by my cousin on Christmas Day when i had dreamed about doing just that myself.
Fuck you to the daily texts from my best friend about how much she is struggling with teething / sleepless nights / another cold when I’d give my right arm to be having sleepless nights with a baby of my own.

Of course I don’t in any way mean fuck you to my wonderful cousin or beautiful best friend, I love them both dearly. So fuck you TTC for making me even think these things about the people I love.

@sh84 I hear you! Every word.

@TigerJoy my OH can’t “finish” if we do it too much so what’s the fucking point.

Fuck the “trying is the best part”. Is it fuck.

I joined mumsnet because of this thread and I’ve found my TTC support group! xxx

Oh god @ChelleF123 that is so true for me too!

First of all I had to take all the responsibility for "jumping him" as he didn't want to know when i was ovulating and then when he didn't feel like it I would get THE RAGE. Then we tried me telling him when I ovulated and that meant he couldn't perform and then I couldn't help but feel frustrated and cross with him.

Where we are now is I tell him I'm approaching my fertile period and we are generally at it every 2-3 days (if we can - he does shifts and if he's doing nights AND he's feeling poorly he can't perform either) but then for the last few cycles once my fertile period is over we generally don't do it - it's like I've fucking worn him out. So we won't have sex for the last 7-14 days of my cycle then not until my period is over so it's often 2-2.5 weeks by which point I am GAGGING FOR IT.

Also fuck his fucking shift work which effects his ability to perform and often means we don't even see each other for more than 30 mins a day when he's working nights unless I can wangle a morning working from home and then fuck the fact that somehow I have to take responsibility for us having sex at the right fucking time.

Also fuck my job I did for 14 years which put so much responsibility and stress on me, and was so precarious, I couldn't even think about trying for a baby until I got a new job. At 39 years old.

God this is the best ttc thread ever

Fuck not knowing when I actually ovulated, am I 6 or 3dpo??
Fuck the voice in my head telling me to test at 9dpo- no I don’t need to do that to myself (although I could be 12dpo therefore more chance of getting a BFP- fuck off)
Fuck that it’s doing my head in
Fuck that’s it’s looking more likely that I missed ovulation by ONE FUCKING DAY because last cycle decided to fuck me over & be a lot shorter than “normal”
Fuck that it’s all consuming even though I’m trying to “relax”
Fuck you to the woman who’s just had her 7th, 2 not in her care & OH is in prison for DV
Fuck coming to the realisation that this just might not happen for me & fuck trying to accept it

@ChelleF123, sending big hugs to you too xxx

@AggieD86 sending hugs. I know the feeling.
I am so desperate to be pregnancy again before my MC due date comes around (13th May) xxx

@ChelleF123 - OMG how do they even exist in this world ? :P
And it's said the "men rule the world"... hope not for much longer ;)

yeah, I do that too, and something else...
I am thinking that if I had not miscarried, my baby would be 5 days with me already... this month is tough on me... chemical on the day my baby would be born, cruel universe ugh

Fuck this! I will take your advice and not track anything...

@AggieD86 before my MC I told my OH my period was late he looked at me in horror because he thought I was blocked up and needed to go to the hospital!!! Men 🙄🙄

Also FUCK the daydreams I have every month thinking about how if I get pregnant this month I’d be so far along at this event... blah blah blah

@painintheholeSIL - yup :D
I'm thinking, maybe this month I should stop tracking my LH,
and ovu and also be clueless ;)

Also @Lnix - yeah, you're right FUCK that !
Isn't it the same thing we are doing?
Putting our life on hold in some way?
I almost do not drink alcohol, I hear everyday I should quit vaping (so I did restrict it greatly), I do not eat gluten or fast foods.
Taking blood tests and supplements...

Come one what did they have to change?
Nothing - there is practically no impact on their lives, and they cannot even miss out on game night with the guys! - Fuck you TTC...

@painintheholeSIL I told my OH when I was ovulating in cycle 1 and I know the pressure to “perform” was too much as he couldn’t. So for the last year I haven’t told him at all. He sees my ovulation sticks but tbh he prob has no feckin clue when or why I do them.

It’s such a mind fuck for us ladies. Sending you all love 💕

With everyone on this! OH is all sympathy for about 10 mins after AF arrives. Then it's all "oh well not to worry" etc and WORST OF ALL he has booked a weekend away to see his brother in March which, if my apps serve me correctly, will be right over ovulation time. Fat lot of use that is with us in different countries! His excuse...we can't put life on hold, this was booked ages ago. I do get that - but also fuck that!

@painintheholeSIL Yeah totally! I noticed that the more I involve him and explain there is a approx 5 day fertility window, and now I have the fertile mucus, and e.g. today is the last day we can have a shot at ttc this month, then he somehow cannot perform. So if they knew all we know, they would not be so relaxed too ;)

That is one more reason to fuck this fucking "be relaxed" phrase...

We were talking the other day and he thought that if on the week I do not get my period and am pregnant that is my first week... LOL, so cute and so clueless ;)
I wish it could be me sometimes