Fuck you TTC

*by "DD" I meant - do the deed

Hahaha
@Rybenka &Jeds55 - feel exactly the same - misled, but then again we are not 19 anymore, when this can actually be true ;) I am 34 and already thinking, it's a shame I did meet my true love so late in life... but then again, happy I have found him at all, still have some friends my age that are single (not by choice)
@painintheholeSIL - that is sooo true. We are supposed to go to our friends next month, but now I am checking my calendar and it seems I will be in my fertile window that time next month, and I do not want to go... It would be so weird to have sex in their house...and painful not to try properly as if we stayed home... and I haven't gone through the fertile window this month, maybe it will happen this month, but still planning ahead as if it did not. It's changing my life completely

Also, my beloved was so stressed yesterday, he was not able to DD in the beginning, and once it finally happened, I was a speedy one.
So never telling him again when the fertile window is :)

But I did it this month, because I was so fucking tired of hearing "just relax and it will come" even from him, so I told him ok, now you are in charge, and look what happened
To calm him down I just said : "just relax ;)"
then we laughed about it, because he finally got it, how it all feels

@painintheholeSIL completely agree that's probably the bit that sucks the most - it's always at the back of our minds, whatever we're planning, it always ends with 'but what if we're pregnant by then'... we've been trying for a year now, so these future what ifs are getting annoying! Fuck that!

@Jeds55 agree with you! I almost feel like I've been misled all my life! Literally believed i was going to get pregnant the minute someone takes their pants off. So unfair!

Can’t commit to certain business trips in 5-9 months time as they are in countries you wouldn’t want to go when pregnant. And long haul etc. Drives me crazy!
And yes my life is taken over by TTC - and all yhe stupid money spent on fertility tests, pregnancy tests and OKPs. I could have had a holiday 😭😭😭

@painintheholeSIL Exactly! We’re not planning anything cos it’s like “but what if we’re pregnant by then” 😒😒

Just fuck how much TTC takes over your life in general 👎

Which reminds me... fuck you to having it drilled into my head all through my youth how easy it is to get pregnant and how careful you must be blah blah. I was clueless when started ttc at 34, expected it to happen the in the first few months

Fuck you to testing early yesterday (9dpo)
Fuck you to having all my hopes pinned on being given progesterone when/if next have a bfp
And a massive fuck you to the person who told me they weren't trying to get pregnant but left their contraception pill in the car so it got too hot and stopped working

Fuck you to the early cramping before AF was due and no signs of AF which convinced me this was our month.
Fuck you to the painful AF which has come 3 days late.
Fuck you to the stupid 2ww and symptom spotting.
Fuck you to knowing we haven’t been trying very long, it’s early days but it still feels shit. (partner had VR recently) You ladies who have been trying for so long are bloody saints.
Fuck you to knowing there is a chance this might not happen.
Fuck you trying not to stress and think about it all.
Fuck you to my overthinking and anxious mind... you at not helping me right now.
Fuck you to friends and family member who have said aww it will happen you can’t think negative, well big FU I am trying to stay positive but have to be a little realistic about the circumstances! (they don’t know about VR, I don’t want the added pressure)
Fuck you to the family member who asks ‘what will you do if the VR doesn’t work’.?well fuck me Susan I don’t know, cry?! Susan has no bloody idea what it’s like to want this so badly and for so long... Susan was lucky enough to just casually not try and wasn’t bothered... Susan now has 18 month old.
Fuck. you. Susan.
Just a big fuuuuccckkk yoooooouuu right now.

@painintheholeSIL thank you! 😆 and thanks again for this thread, it's doing me the world of good! This is such a lonely process and as much as I'd never wish anyone to be in the same position, it's amazing to not feel so alone.

I've come back with some more 😂

Fuck you to the mental load of TTC which always falls on the woman.
Fuck you to my best friend (and I feel bad about saying this but I feel like this is a safe space to vent!) who got pregnant very easily and will not stop talking about it and just doesn't get what two years of TTC is like!
Fuck you to the fact that even after all the failures, that little bit of hope always creeps back in and then just makes me feel worse.
Fuck you to the people who make money out of infertile women even though I always fall for it and buy stuff anyway!
Fuck all bitter this makes me and I think I said this one on my last post but I think it's the worst part so I'm saying it again.

Ah I'm new to the world of forums but this thread is perfect.
Fuck you to "it will happen just wait" when you have endometriosis and that means every period is one step closer to infertility
Fuck you to everyone around you getting pregnant, often by accident
Fuck you to "so and so just got pregnant after 4 months of trying and she has endometriosis"
Fuck you to "so and so just got pregnant by IVF so there's still hope for you"
Fuck you to uncle / cousin / family friend you haven't seen in years asking if/when you are going to have children (but no one asking husband)
Fuck you to "just relax"
Fuck you to stupid tests and thermometers and becoming obsessed with research and apps
Fuck you to not knowing what's happening in your own body

I’m so thankful I found this thread already. I think you are my people.

Fuck all of this. I don’t want to hear about your traumatic birth. Fuck my body.

Fuck you for having already worked out the due date of a baby conceived this cycle
Fuck you to the hope I have for this cycle despite only dtd once, 2 days after a positive ov test so probably too late

Fuck you to feeling guilty when I go for a (albeit slow) run incase it somehow prevents/halts the conception process
Fuck you for feeling guilty for not going for a run

Feeling all of the above today.

But also fuck you to not being able to plan, in the hope that I get pregnant.

Also fuck you to the people who think I’m only having one because I’m a ‘career woman’. That is not the case at all.

Your SIL sounds batshit pain. Horrible behaviour from her.

Today I’ve got horrible period pain. Fuck that. Fuck all of this.