TTC- I'm so sad all the time. AIBU?

How were your tests?

Oh and I'm also a farmer's wife so k ow only too well how blunt they can be! 😂

There's a really useful and science-based book called 'Taking charge of your fertility' by Toni Weschler, you can pick it up second hand on amazon for not very much.

It's a great way to properly understand your cycles and she has advice on how to increase CM (taking an expectorant cough medicine called Guafanesin) but she explains the science behind this. She really knows her stuff and I found it great to develop a thorough knowledge of my actual cycle, rather that snippets of 'general' info I'd picked up from everywhere.

Also well worth reading 'The Sperm meets Egg plan' can buy on kindle for only couple of pound, or might even be free I can't remember. All about timings etc, I got pregnant twice the first time I followed this, after a while of trying for both DC with no luck.

Sounds like it's worth getting checked out with all the other avenues vis the GP that you mentioned, I find it can be speak soon much of a relief to know what you can cross off, as to what you need to concentrate on.

Definitely have a few drinks and let your hair down at your friends wedding, will be good too let off steam and a few drinks will have no impact on conceiving, they may even help

I am the voice of experience. Been there, done that and caused myself no end of pain. Probably delayed me conceiving too.

But we got there. It just took us a very long time. The daft things I did were convince myself it wasn't going to happen naturally. Tell myself I wanted to have a baby by the time I was 30 or at least be pregnant. Obsess every month about symptoms.

You do need to chill put and stop taking it so seriously - and I mean that in a kind way.

You have only been trying for 7 months. And only married for 2 years and still young. It's not a competition and there is no rush.

I do get it, I really do. But 7 months isn't really a long time.

At 27 time is on your side. Don't put your life on hold either. Go to the wedding, have a few drinks and enjoy yourself.

2 things.
I’m also a crossfitter and I ground I had to tone it down a bit in order to conceive dc1. Which was so hard!
You’re really beating yourself up about this, it takes 2 people to conceive and DH, who could also be the problem/part of the problem should not be saying things like he thought he’d have a child by now. It’s very insensitive x

@TeacherFarmerWife I don’t think any of my friends are trying at the moment so I’m quite glad I’ve had a bit of a head start seeing as it seems to be taking a while. My OH is 13 years older than me but doesn’t have any kids so he wants to have them soon as he doesn’t want to be an old dad.
I’d definitely look at OvuSense, it’s quite expensive but I think it’s worth it to really understand your body.

Sorry I also meant to say that I chose to talk about it quite openly after about 9 months as I found it really hard people making comments about when it would be for us!

I try and see it as though I'm making it more of a topic that's on the table so other people who go through it don't feel so isolated.

Really feel for you! We have been ttc for a year and 3 months and I think the hardest point for me was where I started to realise that maybe it won't be straight forward. If it makes you feel any better I seem to have come to a point of acceptance with it and have started obsessing less. I now find the day AF arrives hard and can feel very down but then I try and distract myself. I stopped all of the ovulation tests and BBT charting as it just makes it constantly in your mind from the moment you wake up. If you DTD every other day or every two days for the most part of your cycle you will cover ovulation and you won't need to drive yourself nuts.

We have had quite a few tests, bloods, scans and tests on OH. I have raised prolactin and OH has low sperm count and morphology. I'm waiting on another blood test to see if my prolactin is still high.

One of my coping strategies is to plan something in for the weekend following AF arriving that I wouldn't be able to do if I was pregnant, like a night out. Then I can think, oh well if I was pregnant I wouldn't be able to go to whatever it is, then if I am pregnant I wouldn't care about cancelling!

Teacher I don’t think there’s any harm telling her. Otherwise you’re going to end up resenting her.

@TeacherFarmerWife it is so difficult. My friend does know I’m TTC, although I don’t want her to hide her excitement, and honestly, hearing about her pregnancy is exciting for me too, I just get a bit bummed out that it’s not happened for me yet.
I get more annoyed at people telling me to “relax and it’ll happen”. It generally comes from the people who either have never TTC or caught with no problems...
I have 2 other friends who are having difficulty conceiving and I feel so much better talking to them about things as they actually understand.

I get you completely. We’re pretty similar. I’m also 27 and was on the pill for around 9 years prior to trying. Currently TTC on cycle #5. My best friend started trying after me and caught pregnant literally first attempt. I’m so happy for her but I’m heartbroken it hasn’t happened for me too yet. I know it’s still very early days TTC but I can’t help worry. It’s taken over my life!

@TeacherFarmerWife exactly the same situation as you and similar age as well. I’m 28 and we’ve been trying since June but nothing yet. Getting some tests done at the drs at the moment as my periods aren’t regular. Really thought it would have happened for us by now and OH admitted the other day that he did as well. We’ve just all got to hold on in there I guess. Nice not to feel so alone with other people to talk to on here.
I’ve just got OvuSense to try tracking my temps. It’s a device you wear inside you at night so you don’t have to worry about taking your temp as soon as you wake up. Hoping it will show me when I ovulate so I know the right time to DTD. We’ve just been doing every 2-3 days at the moment to keep OHs sperm nice and fresh haha!

Yeh - definitely look into that exercise www.nhs.uk/news/pregnancy-and-child/exercise-linked-to-fertility/ I’m sure there are other studies too. It does sound like something might be amiss if you are tracking ovulation various ways and not getting anywhere. At least you’ve already been referred for tests.

I feel very down after this month’s failed attempt. OP are you sure you aren’t doing too much exercise? I’ve read quite a bit that it can hinder fertility especially if you aren’t eating enough after.
I think it’s very very difficult to just relax and not think about it, of course you think about it. I’ve just ordered some clear blue ovulation kit off groupon (got 20 for only a few £ more than what boots are charging for 10) so I hope that next month I will know when I’m ovulating since I don’t fully trust my app.