TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 34 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

@MissSparkles81 We’re cycle buddies! 😆 I’m 8DPO today and due AF Valentine’s Day too!

Currently trying not to overthink the mild cramps I’ve had on and off all day 🙈 I swear our bodies are just mean to us some months!

Good luck for this cycle @MissSparkles81

Im currently 8 days po and boobs have been a bit tender over the past day or so. Im acutely aware that it could just be AF starting up so I am not testing.

I thought that after the mc I would be testing like a crazy woman but I am just patiently waiting it out.

Period is due on Valentines Day so knowing my luck it will arrive bang on.

Hope everyone is doing ok 💝

@BunnytheElephant much love to you and your hubby for tomorrow and the rest of the coming week. Thinking of you ❤

I have NC. Thank you. I’m ok. DH and I have argued. Standard. He mentioned in the argument his family sent cards because he asked them to. He said it almost as a defence of himself to show he’s thinking of me but it actually just highlighted his family are not interested at all. I don’t know who that applies to. Not his cousin and aunt (who sent lovely cards) but probably his mum and maybe his sister. MIL’s card is a one liner “thinking of you” type thing. Not even a mention of DD by name. Well done MIL 👍

Sorry I’m having an angry at the world day. Trying not to think back to this time last year which was probably DD’s last day living.

@JuniperAndRose Tomorrow is the anniversary of her death and next Thurs is the date she was born. Thank you.

Hope everyone is ok. I have read through but not fully focussed tbh.

@Mumlili9 I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope that you have lots of support around you at home x

@BunnytheBlueWhale I’m thinking of you, your DH and your dd this weekend and sending your daughter birthday wishes. I hope that you have a gentle weekend x

@VenusStarr - wow - do you know what the difference between a polyp and a fibroid is?? So I guess that means they think the fibroids (if they are there?) are not a cause of your fertility issues at the moment?? It sounds like you have a lot of unanswered questions, that no-one has even explained ivf to you!!! Hopefully you will get to see a consultant soon who will be able to explain a bit more to you? I'm just about to go there myself - I have a gyno appointment next week and finally a specialist scan to find out where my fibroids are etc. I have to say I have a lot of hopes pinned on this appointment but I know realistically I may end up with more questions than I had before as I keep hearing from others... re: ivf i have no idea whether it might be appropriate for us - as far as I know my eggs and sperm are healthy, I assume you are the same? But one thought I had - if they can choose where to implant the embryo in ivf that could be helpful, if there is a "good" side to either of our wombs, or a better place away from fibroids? Also if womb lining is an issue I believe the drugs they give can thicken the lining up?? These are just thoughts that occurred to me the other day but sorry I actually have no idea.

After 1 miscarriage they said they would investigate if i had another one and I'm shocked that they haven't been more proactive with you - you poor thing.

I hope we both get some answers soon - I really hope referral to ivf will end up being a good thing for you, please do ask them lots of questions and make sure you understand what is going on before you leave your next consultation - its the worst feeling left in the dark :(

I did test on thursday morning BFN and cried for 5 hours... better than 5 days or 2 weeks like some of my recent cycles, but still gutting. Period not due until monday so I'm glad I put myself out of my misery though, i was having a particularly bad month for waiting and hoping xxx

Hi @MOGMOGMOG85 yes I think probably a fibroid thread. I'm OK. Had a hysteroscopy in December and instead of removing a fibroid (they said they didn't see any!) I had a polyp removed. No idea if I still have the others but they've said they're not doing any more investigations and we're being referred for ivf for unexplained infertility - but I've conceived 3 times in the last year (zero pregnancies in the 16 months prior to that). Feeling confused as to if ivf is the logical next step really, but the hospital aren't explaining anything to us. I'm visiting a private clinic at the end of the month to have a look round. I think we can transfer our funding there. Also considering a private referral to Professor Quenby about the miscarriages - seeing the recurrent mc team soon too.
How are you? Did you decide to test in the end?

Thinking of you @Mumlili9, any news on your hysteroscopy? Hopefully that might provide some answers for you xx

@BunnytheBlueWhale I'm thinking of you this weekend ❤️❤️

@mrsmb03 I'm not sure about baths, but I think if you think you'll relax and it gives you a sense of normality then that's a good thing. Hope you're OK today.

I'm off to slimming world - managed to get my stone, but this week I'm thinking I've put on, seem to have plateaued these last couple of weeks. But I'm happy with my stone loss, bmi now 26.2 from 28.8 when I started 🙂 have a good day xx

Hi ladies. Thank you for your answers re: when is best to go back to work. I was wondering what are your thought or opinion on having a bath after naturally miscarrying. Seem to have mixed advises on this. My bleeding stopped yesterday then very light bleeding today but I feel like I really needed to get back to normal and have a relaxing bath. Temperature wasn't hot it was just warm. Thank you for your input. x

Hi @BunnytheBlueWhale and @VenusStarr, thanks for your welcome - Venus I do remember your name - potentially from a fibroid thread?? How is it going with you? xx

@Mumlili9 I'm so so sorry, I can't even imagine the amount you've gone through.. I know I'm only part way through my journey now (2 years in and one miscarriage) but I am already starting to come to terms with the possibility of a life without children.. I do mean 'starting' because mainly I'm just desolate at the idea.. I listened to a podcast yesterday with Marian Keyes about how she came to terms slowly with not having children. It was very moving but also gave me some hope. Idk if you are in the right place to listen but if you ever want to its this one howtofail.podbean.com/e/how-to-fail-marian-keyes/ - I feel like there are so many of us women out there who struggle in this way and listening to each other is one way to feel less alone. Sending lots of hugs xxx

@SweetpeaOrMarigold thank you hun I couldn't have said that better. Yes that is how I'm spending my week end. I really want this to be are rainbow but after yet another loss I'm thinking it will never happen and I don't have the cash for private treatments and the NHS will not offer anything more due to my age. Where I live the cut off is 35 and I'm 38. I think I might have to accept its never for me. I'm not quitting yet but I'm going to have to learn to live with out. Then if it does happen it will be the happiest miracle

Thinking of all the ladies frustrated with their own bodies. The anger and the sadness. The guilt. 'Oh I'm fine, yeah great, no not up to much' replies to people who don't know you spent the weekend in agony, in tears, sitting on the loo wondering if 'it' is out yet.
You're not alone.
Onward and upwards to the next cycle xx

@Mumlili9 I'm so very sorry. I wish I could say or do something to help. I'm sending you a big virtual hug.

@VenusStarr I'm sending you a big hug too. It's hard to know what to do, whether to go to work or not. Did you go home early or have some support from anyone at work? How are you doing today?

I am so sorry this is happening @Mumlili9 ❤️ we're here for you xx

Thank you @MissSparkles81 and @FloDaffodil. I sorry you're having a chemical too Flo. Mine happened quickly, I still had a faint positive on Wednesday but started bleeding that night. Had a surreal day at work yesterday - was stuck in the loo, unable to move and just had a moment of thinking this is shit and not where I want to be when my baby leaves me. In hindsight having a day at home might have been wise.

Hope everyone is OK today xx ❤️

@Mumlili9 I’m so sorry, take good care of yourself xx

@MissSparkles81 slow reply,, but I really thought 5/6 days before ovulation was too early for dtd, I figured that was the most optimistic timings but unlikely to conceive. Keeping everything crossed for you this month. And if this doesn’t stick, I think at least I know I’ve got a few days to give it a try each month, I’d previously been assuming I only had two days to give us a good chance.

Im so sorry @Mumlili9 xx

Sorry to hear that @mumlili9 🙏 xxx

Sorry I don’t mean to be insensitive but f u r looking for just a laugh, feel good slap on the knee this page is really funny.

So ladies I have discovered a blog of instagram
Hilariously_infertile
This is so funny! All about infertility but in a funny way.

Well it seems I'm a fully paid up member of the ttc crew again.
Bleeding and cramping very strong now so I believe this is the mc starting properly now.

Welcome to the new ladies x

I meant testing negative for 5 days now.

@Mumlili9 thinking of you. The uncertainty is so awful.

@VenusStarr sorry to hear about your chemical pregnancy too.

@mrsmb03 I’ve taken variously no time, a couple of days and a week off with my miscarriages (all first trimester). Felt I couldn’t leave my colleagues in the lurch but I’ve definitely regretted not taking more time off. The grief catches up with you later if you don’t take the time to process it. After my most recent one I attempted to go back to work less than a week after the surgery and literally spent the entire time crying in the loo. I definitely recommend not rushing back to work. You’ve got to put yourself first and your brain needs time to go through the grieving process.

I’ve just had a bit of a weird month. Had my MVA on 31 Dec followed by a couple of weeks of light bleeding. Did a pregnancy test when it finished to check HCG had gone down and it was negative. Got a positive for ovulation literally the next day and had a go with OH. I know you’re supposed to wait until after you get your first period after MC but can’t bear the idea of losing an opportunity after 3 years of trying and didn’t think we could get pregnant naturally anyway as it’s been over 2+ years since we had a natural conception and we’ve been doing IVF. Anyway, I did a pregnancy test last Tues and got a faint positive. Faint positive on Weds, negative on Thurs (but may not have peed on it for long enough), much stronger positive on Fri, but then fainter in Sat and negative on Sun. Must be chemical pregnancy but I’m still waiting for AF even though I’ve been testing for 5 days now.

@VenusStarr I am so sorry to read about your chemical. Sending you massive hugs.

@Mumlili9 keeping everything crossed for you for the 17th hun.

Im just impatiently waiting out the 2ww. Im currently 6 days po and not really feeling confident. I got my bfp at 9 days po last time and felt different in the days leading up to it. Im not testing till unless I am actually late though. Just cant face seeing a negative 😔

@Mumlili8 I’m really hoping and praying for you too.