TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 34 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

@avocadoincident @MOGMOGMOG85 thanks for asking after me. I think physically I'm recovering, mentally that's to be continued. This miscarriage has truely broken me. I'm struggling with the fact that my baby was alive and I had to sacrifice it for my life. The second sac did not proceed past sac and yoke so technically a blighted ovum. So I have now experienced every type of miscarriage apart from tfmr god forbid that should happen. I am not hopeful for our future but I'm not ready to quit yet. I'm praying that miscarriage number 10 will never happen. DH and I have talked and decided that if we should lose another we will call it a day, there's only so much we can take emotionally. I did a hpt today just to see where I am and it's still a pale line not faint but a solid pink line, so I've a bit yet before I think my cycle will start but that's not a bad thing I don't think I could cope with AF anytime soon. I don't know about you ladies but the first AF after miscarriage feels like salt in the wounds and I'm not ready to face that yet.

Baby dust to you all x. Fx for the ladies in ttw and good luck for the ladies in fw. Sticky glue to all early pregnancies we know about and don't yet know about x

@mrsmb03 I was told to take my pregnancy test after three weeks so I'm doing mine tomorrow morning. They didn't say to do it first thing but I'm sticking to that anyway. X

@MOGMOGMOG85 I also want to know as we would like to TTC as soon as possible! I would like to do anything if it could help us conceive x

Hi Ladies,

Hello Hope you are all okay. My Natural MC happened on 27 Jan, and up to now I still have spotting. Last week there were two days that I have period like bleeding and it was almost like maroon reddish discharge but now it is just brown (sorry if TMI) so i'm thinking these are now old blood but is this normal? It has been a few weeks since I MC but I read somewhere it could take up to a month, the bleeding?
Also, I just remembered now that the EPU nurse told me to do a pregnancy test after two weeks but I totally forgot. I should have done it on the 14th Feb. Can I take it anytime of the day or do I need to do the first pee of the morning?

Would appreciate your thoughts on these. Many thanks and hugs to all. xxx

@mogmogmog85 you r hilarious! I actually had my mom visiting and showed her the line as soon as she woke up! I guess most daughters do the same! And yeah having a margarita just a couple
Min ago cuz I deserve to sit back and relax and not let this ttc drive me crazy

what is everyone else doing in the name of maximising fertility? I'd love to know if anyone is doing any special diets or taking any supplements etc - I'm desperate and will try anything as long as it's not harmful!!!

oh @VenusStarr forgot to say yes def a time to allow brownie and coffee!! I'd probably kill for a coffee but I'm avoiding it for the sake of ttc. I even feel guilty when I drink a decaf which I hope someone will tell me is unfounded!!! Having said that I'm having a beer now.. I don't drink much (have a big knees-up maybe once every 6 weeks) but have decided that I don't want to go tee-total for the sake of my sanity.

Just past ovulation (I don't test but think I probably ov'd yesterday or day before) and already I'm imagining I'm pregnant. I fall into it every single time... trying to keep myself on track by repeating that it's not the end of the world if I'm not :( anyone else in synch with me? xx

@Mumlili9 how are you feeling today? Hope your hormone crash has worn off. How is the physical recovery coming along?

@VenusStarr I'm so so happy you've had the test! I hope it comes back quickly and I really hope you get some clarity soon... that makes sense about the 2 tests - good that they are thorough! I'm doing much better thanks, I just needed a couple of days to recover. I've realised that I can just about manage to keep myself ticking over, sane, and even happy at times if I look after myself and stay in my lovely little bubble with my partner, going to work, going on lots of walks etc. but if I am in the presence of a pregnant friend it is too much for me. @avocadoincident thanks for your kind words too xx

@Morganmom I am so so so sorry about your very early miscarriage (I don't know what an evap is) that must be heartbreaking. Just before Christmas I was convicned I was pregnant and didn't have a test so I did an ovulation test - I had read women online saying you could use it as a pregnancy test? Anyway I got a positive and I thought I was pregnant for a day, called my mum and everything. Until the next day when I took a real test and realised I wasn't, then googled it and you CANT use an ovulation test as a pregnancy test - I'll never do that again! It wasn't real for me but it was gutting nonetheless. I hope you're feeling a bit better today xx

@SweetpeaOrMarigold It took me about 5 cycles until I didn't get cramping at odd times during my cycle and every time I thought it was because I was pg - i never used to get cramping not even really on my period. Add onto this huge breasts and weird mood swings and it's been a steep learning curve. I think for some people it really does take up to 6 months, probably more for some, to return to normal xxx

No worries it’s very very faint line. @avocadoincident and it was nearly not there. But I had classic symptoms like smelling everything and nausea ( which I didn’t mind) cuz I got to be pregnant again for one day!!! You r right I have another cycle this month and I will find out soon IVF start day.

Glad its not just me! Nobody warns you of the rest of the MC stuff

I'm having cramps the past few days, but I think it's too early for AF. I dont normally get cramps that badly so assume its yet another fun thing my MC has given me!

@SweetpeaOrMarigold You’re not alone in that one! I definitely find I get varying degrees of cramps (mostly mild) at all times throughout my cycle since the miscarriage 🙈 Doesn’t help when that happens in the 2WW and then you get AF does it 🤨

Hi all, and welcome @Isittimeforbubblesyet, sorry you are here xx
I'm in the tww, d10po. Once again I have all the symptoms but this is the 3rd time I've done it, last 2 just couldn't stay put, so its a nervous time. Trying not to think about it, because I now know it doesn't mean anything until it sticks. Waiting for my recurrent MC clinic appointment to see what they can advise.
Does anyone else have cramps all the time still? Feel like I've had cramps most of the time since a few days after ov early December with the 1st pregnancy. Wondering if theres something wrong in there 😕

Thanks so much everyone

@VenusStarr yes we have spoken before! Trying very hard to move away from the other boards and stay positive for the future but finding it difficult. The whole experience has affected me much more than I ever expected.

@avocadoincident missing a month is crushing. Like you, I think we might leave it a month or two although I do feel I am letting my OH down (although I know I'm not and he just wants me to be ok). The emotions are all over the place!

Hope everyone is doing ok

@Isittimeforbubblesyet

Sorry you have to join us but nice to meet you. This thread can be a lifeline and there's so much knowledge in these collective brains here!

Hello everyone else too!
Missing out on a month is crushing. I'm 40 now so feel added pressure to get on with it but I've given myself a few months off now. Two miscarriages in four months has taken its toll on me and now I'm overdue a a smear test so I'm waiting to have that. We aren't not trying if you see what I mean but I'm not monitoring dates or testing. I feel better already releasing the pressure off and the sex is better too.

@Mumlili9 how are you recovering?

@Morganmom I'm sorry to ask but what's WFL stand for? In any case I can see it's now a negative and I'm so sorry for that. A whole new opportunity awaits this month for you now, with its own new odds at success. Xxx

Well ladies just an update from me.
We were so excited I mean elated when in my hubby bday we saw a VVFL ! Well it was short lived because the next day it was like non existent and today my temp dropped. I soon got my period! So I dunno if it was evap or very early miscarriage but we are out this month. It sounds crazy but as happy as I was, I knew it wasn’t going to stick.

Welcome @Isittimeforbubblesyet sorry you find yourself here (I think we've spoken before?) but this group has been so supportive to me xx

Hey @Mumlili9 how are you? Hope you're less sore now?

Sorry I've been quiet. @MOGMOGMOG85 I'm sorry to hear about your weekend but it sounds like you made the right decision to leave. Protecting yourself can never be a negative thing ❤️ how you feeling today?

@JuniperAndRose glad to help. I think you taking time out from constantly checking in here is good - something I aspire to! It's too easy to check back in and get lost in threads. Hope you're OK

Hope everyone else is getting on OK. I've just had my first biopsy (think it was @MOGMOGMOG85 who asked about this), but you have 2 because apparently your nk cells can fluctuate month to month so they do 2 for a better picture. I can't lie, it was very unpleasant. Some of you who were here last Summer might remember when I had the hsg? Yeh, it was like that, but thankfully only a short reminder. The midwife had to hold my hand and I almost squeezed it off while she did a countdown!! Anticipating a 4-6 week wait for the results but overheard the office say some they did last week were back already 🤞 so, am off my slimming world plan for a hour to drink a latte and eat a brownie - think I deserve it!! Am a bit crampy now.

Hello ladies how are you getting on?

@MOGMOGMOG85
You haven't failed at anything my lovely. You are working your way through a horrific situation that no one can understand except those who have been through it.

You totally did the right thing by leaving your friends house. I've backed away from a friend who is pregnant. Well to be honest she's backed away from me and I've been trying to make the effort to keep us on track but I don't care anymore. I'm looking after myself now as number 1.

@Mumlili9 I'm not sure if this helps but I stocked up with yummy foods and treats, posh tissues so my face was less sore from crying and wallowed and listened to sad podcasts. I gave in to everything and wasn't brave at all. X

Ah the hormone crash is kicking my ass today. Any tips on how to cope while I'm laid up?

@VenusStarr I'm so glad you're getting your test done, that must be such a relief! I'm really hoping for some answers for you. Gosh I'm surprised that someone had high NK cells but it didn't get picked up at the first test, that's scary. How did she end up going for a second test?

@Isittimeforbubblesyet welcome to our sad but very kind group. It is a huge thing that you've been through and none of us knew how much it was going to affect us until afterwards.. sending you healing hugs and plenty of luck for getting back on track ttc xx

@JuniperAndRose I'm so sorry your Dad said that :( there is nothing wrong with you, I'm constantly shocked by how similar my feelings are to others on here - it just goes to show that guess what: miscarriage is a huge deal and fertility issues are hugely straining, not easy to fix, and life doesn't just continue as normal after a loss. From what you've said I'm glad you're distancing yourself - it's not usually the best answer in life, but I think in terms of fertility issues and miscarriage it does seem to be the best way. It is only temporary what we are going through, although temporary can feel like it's going to last forever... I've come to the same conclusion today re: distancing myself from certain people, just whilst I'm in this fragile state, however long that may last for xx

I went to visit a friend this weekend. She is 4 months pregnant and fell almost directly after my MC. Prior to this she and I had both experienced difficulty getting pregnant. I'd been hugely anxious about seeing her, but a couple of friends I spoke to persuaded me it was a good idea to go, face my fears, and that I would have a good time. As soon as I arrived it felt odd. She is very aware of my emotional state and was clearly trying not to talk about being pregnant/children etc and had asked her partner not to either. Its so nice that she wanted to protect me and be a good friend, but it actually just felt really weird and artificial. Despite their best efforts I could see how happy they were, how the strain on their relationship that had been there when they were struggling had lifted and how excited they were to be parents. We had planned to stay the night and after spending Friday eve trying to appear happy and normal and blocking my feelings I woke up at the crack of dawn today and just couldn't stop crying. I tried to gather myself before leaving the bedroom but after an hour it became apparent that I just couldn't appear normal so just went out to say good morning anyway with a swollen face from crying. I felt like such a dick, I just felt so guilty for not being able to be happy for her, and for bringing my pain and sadness into their happy house. We managed to have breakfast and I managed to chit chat without crying but I just feel 100x worse today than I did yesterday, it's really knocked me back. I'm thinking that perhaps I really need to avoid pregnant people for the sake of my own sanity, and because it serves no purpose to torture myself and let others see how low I am. I think being around her just made me feel like a failure, and seeing how happy her boyfriend was made me notice how unhappy and strained our relationship has come, and that I've failed to let him become a father :'(

We came home straight after breakfast and I'm trying to regain my composure. I think it'll take a day or 2. Its weird because I was doing really well and feeling really positive literally just before going over there. I'm sure I can get back to that headspace, and hopefully at least I've learned a lesson - protecting myself is key at the moment, for however long this painful journey is going to last.

To top it off I'm ovulating and we just haven't managed to dtd since wednesday. thursday oh was at a work function and yesterday we didn't go to bed until midnight and i was knackered. today doesn't look promising either as not surprisingly my boyfriend doesn't feel massively like jumping me when I've been crying all day... he told me he is feeling really anxious, I don't think he knew how badly I've been feeling and it shocked him

Sending love @Mumlili8, you've had it tougher than I did and that was enough. Wishing for a speedy recovery xxx