TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 34 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

@Ripple2020 sorry to see you here. I'm here in very similar circumstances. Lost our daughter at the 20 week scan on in October. I don't know if you feel the same but I'm enough weeks down the line that people around me have mostly moved on and I haven't. I'm not the same person and I just can't connect with people in the same way anymore.

@FloDaffodil it's the not knowing that is so frustrating isn't it. None, some or all of your losses could be connected. Why don't they have the answers? Next time will you have further tests and scans now they know the results?

@Debingirlies I don't think we do get over anything really but definitely time has helped me. I cry less now it 4 months on. I just wanted to try again ASAP to get back on track and put things right but now we are having a break as it's taken it's toll on me. I have two daughters too so I feel that's a strong positive to cling onto. Not just because I'm extremely grateful but because I know my body can do it. You have to grab on to the glimmers of hope.

As for the shame I felt it too as of course I wondered what I'd done and how could I not have known the baby had died whilst I walked round for two weeks. But the shame left after a couple of months and now I'm very open about it all. I don't want to add to the stigma of it.

@Ripple2020 hello hun physically I am OK healing (though not nearly as quickly as I'd like) I have 4 incisions, 2 on the left of my tummy, 1 above my pubic line, and one straight threw my belly button. Doc tells me my ovaries look good, and remaining right tube looks healthy. I'm waiting for a hysteroscopy to check for Asherman's syndrome (scar tissue in my uterus caused by erpc's in other mc's). I've had every test through blood they can do. My tube baby is being tested for abnormalities, so waiting for results from that. All my bloods came back normal except my AMH is low. The doc doesn't see any thing that obviously causes miscarriage. I'm considering getting NK cell tests done also but it's expensive. My husband is Catholic and will not consider Ivf because its against his beliefs. I've been trying since 2017 but didn't join this group until 2018 after my 2nd mc. Up until my first mc I didn't know about this world either I was ignorant of the hell some go through. As to opk I use easy@home along side cbfm. The easy@home tests can be used alongside an app that records then and reads them for you (pictured) you can get them from amazon.

@Mumlili9 thank you, I know ye understand better than anyone. I’ve read your story and my heart goes out to you, are you trying for your first baby since 18? Trying to find the right words to phrase this-but a few weeks ago I Listened to a woman who similar to me had lost her son but,like you, had a long journey to get pregnant in the first place. My blood went cold hearing it. I feel like I was oblivious to this world until it came to my door. I didn’t struggle to get pregnant initially, and I honestly cannot fathom what you must be going through. You’re extremely strong and so deserve a beautiful, happy ending. Where do you stand physically after your recent loss may I ask?

@MOGMOGMOG85 hoping it was just bad luck. They’ve given me prescribed aspirin to begin taking as soon as I get a BFP, I think it thins the blood to prevent clotting. I used CB digital last month and caught an LH surge so I had sex that day and the following day but no joy so I’m gonna go mad this month and buy the CB and the boots brand!:) The CB can only be used once a day and I’d like to see the line get darker so i know I catch it. Just trying to have sex every 2nd day, and maybe once a day during fertile window. Worked last time for me but I have a lot of spotting still and feeling like my body is not the same anymore!Have you spoken to your GP or had any tests to find out why it’s taking 2 years? Must be so tough.

@Debingirlies I wouldn’t worry about what anyone else thinks. The people who love you will be rooting for you to be happy.

Do you ladies take a conception vitamin and which ones do you take. Also anything else you do / take to help.

@Debingirlies I had the very same experience as you for my 2nd mmc. Perfect scans at 6+2 and 8+2 and baby died at 9+3. Its truly heart breaking. I have a memory box just for my angel babies. I keep scans gifts and evidence of there existence in there. It's not in my face every minute of the day but it's there if I need to look. I have tiny teddies, existence certificates (abit like birth certificates provided by the epu) and other things that remind me of each of our 9 angels. It really helps me.

@MOGMOGMOG85 thank you. The emotions are definitely running my life at the moment. I feel abit ashamed asin. Will people who new i was pregnant think rong of me if we try again. Myself and partner have been trying for 3yrs so when we saw thos red lines we were over the moon. I just feel like i already miss my baby. And im finding myself sitting ther thinking well i should be doing this now. And so on. Also i dont know whats right to do with our scan pictures from 6wks and 8. I carnt forget about my baby but i no i carnt keep getting upset when seeing them xx iv also got 2 girls. I have to try and be strong for. But inside its realy hard 💔😢

Hi @Debingirlies sorry you're here xx your loss sounds devastating xxx I am ttc for no 1 and have been trying 2 years with only 1 pregnancy which was MMC at 11 weeks (embryo 6 weeks). It really is devastating. I just started ttc straight away as I didn't feel I had any time to lose. I'm on month 6 now. As for feeling ashamed - I don't really feel ashamed but I did feel ashamed at the time in September when I found out the embryo was dead. I felt ashamed that I'd told people and ashamed that I'd believed it was a "real" pregnancy - it's almost like my instinct was to try and erase the fact it ever happened. Unfortunately that didn't work and I've become sadder over time. It's a huge grief, but this group has shown me that we actually all go through very similar feelings over this. It's a huge deal for all of us, and we shouldn't be ashamed. I don't know what the answers are but you are definitely not alone xxx

@Amberrosejones94 I'm really sorry you're having a crappy time

@Ripple2020 so sorry to hear about your loss. It’s devastating so no wonder your heart’s in pieces.

Big hugs also to @Amberrosejones94. Definitely go back to the EPU as that doesn’t sound right that the line is getting darker.

Hi all. Just here for some advice please. We lost our baby too. At what i thought was 13wk scan turned out our babys heartbeat had stoped at 9+3days. After a scan at 6 wks and 8wks was fine. Feel devistated. Weve been trying for 3years for our baby together. I have 2 daughters from previous.. Just wonderd how you lot got over the whole ashamed to try again. And being scared of trying again?? Xx

So sorry to hear about your ectopic @Mumlili9 and lots of sympathy to everyone who’s having a tough time right now.

I just got genetics results from the miscarriage I had over Christmas and it was trisomy 21, i.e. Down Syndrome. I guess that means the immune treatment I was doing for NK cells would never have made any difference. Now we have to wait for the results of karyotyping to find out whether it was a random abnormality or inherited from me or my husband. After five miscarriages I’m pretty scared that it could be an inherited problem rather than a random event. What are the chances of random chromosome abnormalities in five consecutive pregnancies? Or maybe the other miscarriages were due to overactive NK cells and just this one was a random chromosome abnormality? Ugh, I don’t know what to think! Has this happened to anyone else?

@Ripple2020 hello, welcome and so sorry for the loss of your little boy. This group of ladies are wonderful, very supportive and have been my rock since March 18. This group is to give and gain support, advice or just general chit chat if that helps. Miscarriage / baby loss in any form from chemicals to born sleeping is horrific and its the most confusing lonely time, but together we are stronger and can weather the storm to find our rainbows.

Hi Ladies, hope u don’t mind me joining in😊 I’ve been all over the internet looking for a group like this for awhile and it just seems like the right place -new to this😊 So unbelievably sorry for all of your losses, it’s cruel and unfair that we don’t have our babies here to hold but I feel they are busy handpicking our rainbows to mind and protect us through this journey❤️ I lost my little boy at 20 weeks in November. A routine scan showed his heart had stopped beating and I delivered him on 25.11.19. We later found out from results that he was absolutely perfect but I had a significant bleed behind my placenta- I had no pain or bleeding. Trying to put the pieces of my heart back together I have found strength in TTC again, feel like my mind is working towards something. Anyway, that’s my story in a nutshell. My 3rd Af since has arrived this morning, this will be my 3rd cycle TTC, second proper cycle as only started to use OPKs and ovia last month. I have about a week of spotting before each AF and worried this might be an issue? I had 5 scans since my delivery and all have come back to say I’m clear. Have any of you experienced this? Sending you all lots of light and love💫

I thought I did well passing the pregancy eith medical management they did tell me everything had come away but my previous miscarriage I had to have d&c as I had three days of medication and it didnt work but this time I thought I'd had it easier they told me on my last blood test I had done that my hcg was really low at that point , it's just the symptoms that has come back that is sending me mentally drained as all the symptoms had gone two before the miscarriage even happened

@Amberrosejones94 I had the same thing happen to me and it turned out to be retained products. I advise you call the epu and arrange a scan and bloods. It's not usually serious they can advise you better though. I just had a round of medical management and it was all sorted. This is the reason they tell you to do this x please don't worry hun

@avocadoincident they just told me to do a pregancy test at 14 days which its 13 days today but I did a test Saturday which was postive but not very dark I've done another yesterday and it was darker than the other one I did Saturday

X

@Mumlili9 i'm glad you're recovering physically. mentally - no doubt it will really take some time to grieve. it's so cruel what we have to go through when so many seem to find it so easy :'( this is one of the hardest things to go through in life and you are not alone, we're all here with you xxx

@VenusStarr i'm so glad you had a positive experience with a private practitioner. it's so important to feel listened to and to understand what your doctor is telling you, also to have some faith that they care/have any idea what is going on!!! ever since i started getting some answers about my fibroids i feel so much better. however i'm aware that there's only so many tests and explanations that can be given me and i'm dreading reaching a stage where I don't know what to do next. Thats interesting that your thyroid levels fluctuate.. i had low levels come up on a blood test after my mc and had a repeat test last week (i waited to make sure i was in a mentally healthy place, was well rested etc etc so i could be confident it was a good reading) still waiting for results. i certainly have immune style problems, dermatographism, food allergies and skin very sensitive to detergents. my mums thyroid almost completely broke down she is solely reliant on thyroxine now and she was very young when it happened. i'm watching your story with care in case it's an avenue that might be relevant to me in future. what is your ubiquinol for? i never heard of it! i just take pregna-plan by cytoplan. they are a company i really trust and although it's expensive i feel better for taking them. mostly. folic acid really doesn't help me with going to the loo (sorry tmi) so i give myself weekends off! I know that vitamin b12 deficiency is a possibility after long term use of folic acid so my multivitamin gives me a tonne of that to counterbalance the block of absorption from the folic. think it has vit d as well although i don't worry about that as i'm a gardener - plenty of exercise and plenty of daylight. i don't know what my bmi is but i'm pretty sure it's healthy. i should prob eat more veg, i've been mainlining spinach since the mc but should prob break out into other veg too! lol about your dream - i know how horrible those dreams can make you feel but i was laughing at the carton of juice - so random! mb you should try it as a romantic gesture see how he responds :D xxx

@avocadoincident its so frustrating having a clueless medical professional isn't it!!! i'm so glad you got a good gp at least. my gp is excellent but you can't book an advance appointment with her, so i had to go with another gp most recently :( sorry about your friend - sometimes it feels like the whole universe is giving you a slap in the face doesn't it. if it helps i think most of us here are feeling that we're getting slapped too.

i have now got a gp app in a month and will ask to be referred to fertility if we haven't conceived by then. that will be 7 months since the miscarriage. i have my gyno app thursday to explain to me about my fibroids. going to write down loads of questions and make sure i get them answered. in fact gonna do that now.

love all xxxx

@Amberrosejones94 did the epu give you any other advice or suggest you go in for a scan to see what's happening?

I do hope your all well and I'm so sorry to hear about all your losses it's such a tragic thing to have to go through were all stronger than what we know xx

lost my pregancy on the 15th feb before I had the miscmiscarriage I had lost all my pregancys symptoms everything had gone my bleeding stopped 2 days prior to the miscarriage and now I'm 12 days down the line and all my symptoms have come back I feel terribly sick sore boobs my skins cleared back up so tired motivation gone etc but surly I cant have even ovulated yet ? Could this be my body dropping back to normal for some reason i did a pregancy test because I found it clearing my room and it came back more positive than it did while I was carrying the pregnancy the epu told me it should be faint by now

ARGHGHGH I've had a bit of a frustrating couple of hours. The person who was my best friend who is due the same week as me doesn't seem to feel the need to quash her desire to talk about the impending birth and even asked me to look after her son when she went to a midwife appointment. I've minimised contact but we go to the same swimming group so I see her then. I just think I would be far more sensitive to others feelings if it was the other way round.

On a more positive note I did get a negative pregnancy test this morning so at least I'm back to square one.

And on an even more positive note I had a fantastic appointment with my GP yesterday. He started the appointment by saying how sorry he was about the last few months so he'd obviously read my notes before I went in. He answered all my questions patiently. Created a plan of action for me for the next pregnancy and told me to ring and leave him a message the day I find out I'm pregnant so he can refer me to gynnae and thyroid specialists. He was so positive and confident I came out so relieved and felt looked after.
I went and filled in the feedback questionnaire to say how genuine he seemed and how positive the experience was for me.

It was so different from my experience when I went and asked questions with the consultant who literally said "I don't really know anything about thyroids so your gp will have to answer those questions". Bearing in mind she's my consultant because of my thyroid condition. But my GP was amazing and I'm so thankful for that!

Lots of love and sunshine today. It's freezing here but I love them sun 🌞

@Mumlili9 I'm so sorry. I dont know how you are able to cope with your losses. You are so strong. Wishing you lots of love and giving you good vibes. x

@VenusStarr thanks for asking after me.
Sounds like your ready for any outcome now hun. It must feel good to have plans in place. I'm praying that if something is wrong they can fix it. You've been through hell and back and deserve some happy now. As for your dreams I get it coz I have similar dreams but in mine DH is see other women but hasn't left me but tells me all about the women and how perfect they are. Dreams can be horrible. But a friend told me that dreams like that are more about how I feel about myself rather than how I feel about DH. It understandable that we would feel that way given the crap nature has handed us to date. Hope to day goes as well as it can do and maybe you get some answers x

Hi @mrsmb03, I think with my first I did a test about 2.5 weeks later and there was a very faint line - dh couldn't see it, but I could. It's awful waiting for a negative test ❤️ hope you're OK.

Hope you're OK today @avocadoincident, did you test today?

@Mumlili9 I've been thinking of you a lot. I am so sorry this happened. I'm glad you and dh and are able to keep talking. I've found that just not ttc is too hard, but as we're doing these additional tests, I'm still doing something, if that makes sense? Dh is uncomfortable with continuing to try without trying to rule out or get answers as to why the miscarriages happened and I respect that, it's really tough though.
I'm sending you lots of love ❤️

@BunnytheBee don't apologise for being quiet, we all need to look after ourselves. Sending love to you xx

Sorry to hear your news @Morganmom hope you enjoyed the margarita!

@MOGMOGMOG85 glad you're feeling a bit better after the weekend. I hope the tww passes quickly for you. I'm waiting on af, had some potting today but that may be from the biopsy. I ended up having pizza for dinner and watching a netflix film about ivf on Monday🤦‍♀️
With regards to fertility stuff, I take 200mg of ubiquinol, folic acid and vitamin D. I'm still (mainly) following slimming world and trying to get my bmi down to 25. I'm struggling with exercise though - not done any for months! I don't drink alot of tea and coffee in the weeks really and minimal alcohol. Wondering if I should do more 🤔

Had a horrible dream that dh left me, then told me that a girl who fancied him left him a box of juice on his car seat and he thought that was really romantic. I was like what the eff you telling me that for?! So random. Feel horrible today, think I have a migraine coming.

We've got our recurrent miscarriage follow up today, so will officially get my blood test results. Not expecting much more to be honest.

Positive news - I visited a private ivf clinic last night and had a brief free meeting with a consultant there. He listened to our history and I explained I was going for the nk cells testing. I asked him if he thought based on our history and that I have a hideous eczema flare up it was likely that my immune system was in part responsible for our difficulties and he said that coupled with my thyroid fluctuations would indicate yes. I know it's just an opinion and he hasn't seen my bloods or tests but I feel more reassured that we're not barking up the wrong tree. He also explained how ivf might be helpful for us. I just felt like it was more personal than our nhs experience to date. So, we're thinking of moving our funding to there (if and when my test results come back and we do need ivf). I do feel like my brain is going to explode but I can't just do nothing.

We're off on holiday in 2 weeks, really feel like we need a proper break now.

Xx

Hi ladies I hope you’re all ok. Sorry I’ve been a bit quiet but have been reading along when I feel up to it

Hope you’re ok @Mumlili9

and @VenusStarr*@JuniperAndRose @MOGMOGMOG85* @avocadoincident