TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 34 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

❤️ @Mumlili9 I am so sorry, I'm angry and sad for you. I really hope the hospital are able to give you more details and it's an admin oversight rather than having lost your baby. I hope you get some clear answers today, it's very distressing for you. It's absolutely appalling, I'm so sorry.
Sorry to hear your incision has opened up again. Do you need to have it looked at? It's really difficult to emotionally heal when there are physical reminders. If you need to offload, we're here to listen xx

My dh struggles when I'm upset, he feels helpless, so sometimes he'll scoop me into a hug and sometimes he's snippy with me. I have to remember he's going through his own emotions. It's really hard though.

Wonderful news @MissSparkles81 🌈 congratulations

How are you getting on @BunnytheBee @Ripple2020 @84TinsOfBeans? Hope everyone is OK xx

Thank you @Ripple2020 🥰

@MissSparkles81 huge congrats❤️ that’s fantastic🌈x

@Mumlili9 sorry I haven’t been on in awhile, been trying to stay away from my phone and google!
Oh my god, I’m actually horrified to hear that.
Did you have to go back to the hospital with the incision? Surely someone in there knows where your baby is, that’s awful!! I’d imagine there’s only so many places in there! Oh no, my heart honestly goes out to you, It sounds like you’ve been having a terrible few days💔 I hate giving advice because I know too well how sensitive these times are but I don’t think u should be feeling bad about not TTC, in my opinion there’s a lot more to TTC than having sex at the right time, it’s about getting your body and mind back healthy and strong so you can have confidence in knowing it will carry your next baby to full term. I know how difficult it is though to wait. It’s numbing and consuming and heartbreaking. I’m honestly so upset for you, you sound like a wonderful person and it’s just not fair that you have to go through this but you will have your baby, it might be very hard to see it now but if you hang in there you will have that baby in your arms some day❤️ In regards to DH, they struggle too I suppose, it’s prob very hard for him to watch you going through this, there’s not much they can do and I suppose, being men, it prob makes them feel a bit useless on top of the sadness they are obviously feeling😔try get some rest or maybe go shopping or a lunch date with the girls at the weekend, I know ur prob still very sore but just maybe try to do something distracting this weekend😊you deserve a lot of TLC now!

Aw guys I got a BFP this morning! Im happy but also so scared at the same time.

This was our 2nd month of trying after our mc in November at 8 weeks.

Oh @Mumlili9 I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. I hope you get a call back today with something positive. I also hope you and DH are ok. My DH seems to distance himself when time’s are tough. It seems he cannot handle it / doesn’t know what to do / doesn’t find me fun to be around. Remember men are from Mars.

Good god @Mumlili9 I can't believe what I've just read. I'm honestly at a loss what to say to that. I hope there's some positive news today when they ring. But this wouldn't be something I'd let go of.

@VenusStarr hi hun I wouldn't worry to much about your AMH mine was 6 but still get pregnant, keeping them is another matter. I don't know if we will try after my first AF. Just trying to get a cuddle out of DH now is a chore in its self, he doesn't come near me.
My recovery is not going how I would like. I've popped open one of my incisions so now back to square one, truly fed up and angry at the world.
It also arrears that the hospital have lost my baby. It was supposed to be tested for chromosomal disorders but they can't tell me where my baby was sent or who sent it. They are calling me back tomorrow. I'm at my whits end

Feeling really flat. Got my AMH blood test results and it's 9.5 which is the low end of normal. I know it's not terrible but a reminder that it's another thing to add to the shitness of it all 😢 I'd got into a more positive place but feel like this has set me back.

I've booked in for the next biopsy but I'll be 11/12dpo and it's later than they'd like.

Plus we're supposed to fly out on holiday on Saturday and worried we might not get to go. I work for the NHS and we've been told to work from home and cancel anything non-essential.

Feeling very sorry for myself 😥 hope everyone is OK xx

I normally get creamy after ovulation @Mumlili9, maybe your hormones are still settling though. It is an odd feeling when you're tracking but not trying, but I'm trying to think that holding off ttc is going to be helpful in the long term. I hope your recovery is going well. Do you think you'll ttc again from next cycle or wait a bit longer?

@VenusStarr thanks for the reply. Yes I did but not ewcm just creamy but loads of it. I feel really bad not ttc especially now I think I might have ovulated.

You know what's right for you @Hayleylou89 and you sound comfortable with your decision to keep trying. It's very personal ❤️ I hope there is a simple solution for you 🤞

That's a good point @FloDaffodil about the ivf and potential nk cells. I think postponing is right for now, and we want to ttc on our own for a few cycles, but it's reassuring to know that we still have that option (we'll one fresh cycle, but you know what I mean). I'm glad your experience has been good despite the unhappy outcomes ❤️ I can imagine you are in shock being told that. Have they indicated how long the wait might be? I hope its not too long. Have they recommended to pause treatment until you've had the operation? I had around 10 internal scans last year, my uterus was ok, bicornuate, arcuate, loads of fibroids, no fibroids, had a mass etc and my hysteroscopy only showed a polyp. So I do wonder sometimes how things are diagnosed but saying that I hope that you get the right support and treatment xx

@Mumlili9 I see what you mean but with you positive opk I'm guessing that has been taken into account. Did you get any cervical mucus too?

I think im ovulating today, I went from no lines on my opks to pretty dark last night and positive today. Had lots of cramps and ewcm too, so about 4 days later than normal. I've emailed the clinic as I might be able to go for the second biopsy on 23 March but I'll be 11-12dpo which might be a bit late 🤞

Hope everyone is OK xx

Well ladies FF has decided I did ovulate after all but I'm not convinced as my chart is all over place following my surgery. Fellow charters what do you think x

@VenusStarr good luck with all your appointments and results. I totally get your concern on starting IVF but there are some positives. If you do have too many NK cells or they’re overactive, the usual treatment involves a pretty expensive and intense drug regime while TTC. If you can’t guarantee conceiving quickly, you could end up spending loads and taking steroids every month, whereas doing it alongside IVF means you’re more likely to get the timing right first time. I’ve had a pretty good experience of IVF (though it’s starting to get expensive now we’ve used up our NHS funding). Two years of trying and failing to conceive over and over were very demoralising. But since starting IVF I’ve had four pregnancies in one year - just a shame they all ended in miscarriage.

I’d also been told I had an arcuate uterus with a mild dip last year. But I had my first appointment at the recurrent miscarriage clinic at St Mary’s Hospital in Paddington last week and the consultant there is now telling me it’s septate and I need a resection, which was a bit of a surprise. I’m definitely keen to try it if it could reduce the risk of further miscarriages but of course there’s a massive waiting list...

@venusstarr

Youv really had a tough time, but your doing the best thing having tests before u try again - im not being so patient...our review is in april so some people say we should wait until we know why it happened but i know it was nothing to do with the baby as everything was fine with her it was just my body and my waters breaking so i think itll be a case of me having a cervical stitch next time as sad as that will be if thats the case just a simple fix that could of been prevented🤞🏻 - and we didnt want to wait until april either to just start again so im hoping we conceive quickly like u did im currently in the 2ww which is always horrendous and i havnt had a period yet since my
Loss... how long was it before ur period come following ur awful losses? X

I'm sorry to hear about your little girl @Hayleylou89 ❤️❤️ I've had 3 losses, 2 were missed miscarriages at 9ish weeks and one early bio chemical loss. After my first loss we started ttc straight away and conceived within a couple of cycles but we've not really tried properly since September and I'm now having some tests so stopping for a while longer. Xx

Hi everyone

@FloDaffodil I haven't had a septum resection - I have an arcuate uterus but the dip is mild. I do follow someone on Instagram and she had one done before Christmas and just had a frozen embryo transfer and is pregnant. Pm me if you want her details. Are you OK? Have you recently found out about the septum?

@BunnytheBee I've paused the ivf appointment for now. They were very pushy for us to just go to the appointment and I kept saying we're not in a position to consent or move forward. Luckily I saw my GP on Friday and he was very supportive. He no longer believes our issues are infertility and it is recurrent miscarriage, so to do our private tests before we ttc or any assisted conception. Had a good discussion with him on Friday so am feeling better (he's not always been that sympathetic!)
Glad the pmt has passed, sorry af arrived though. If you think you won't get stressed by tracking, it might be helpful? I'm finding it is just part of what I do now (bbt) but it might be because I'm not ttc that it's not stressing me out.

@MOGMOGMOG85 you're right! I just thought we'd hear soon but in reality, it would be unusual to hear that soon. Luckily I'm off on holiday on Saturday and so by the time we get back the results won't be far off, really feel like we need a break now. Sorry to hear af arrived. Your job is very creative, I'd love to get more into gardening (ours is a mess at the moment!)

@Mumlili9 it's great to see your crochet project :) for a good cause too. I have a crochet kit that I got at Christmas but haven't started it yet. I can do basic knit and pearl but have never tried crochet. It's such a difficult time for you, having a distraction definitely helps. I hope the healing time passes quickly.

@Ripple2020 hope your dp is prepared for the next few days! :)

So, I'm having a weird cycle. I thought af started early after my biopsy as had heavy spotting which led to a really heavy period. My usual ovulation should have been over the weekend but no signs, blank opks and low temps. If I adjust it to the day I heavily bled, I should have ovulated today, but again my opks yesterday were very negative. Kind of hoping that it'll be Friday as then I can go away and have the biopsy on the Monday I get back. Bit concerning though as even after my miscarriages my cycles regulated straight away.

Right, better go to work! Have a good day xx

@VenusStarr it sounded like you had your hopes up before that the results would come back quick rather than the full 4-6 weeks, that's probably why you're impatient to get them! I really hope they come soon.. gosh being rushed into an IVF decision sounds horrible. Like you - I'd want to know what is going on before trying, surely any reasonable medical professional would feel the same?? xx

Hi @BunnytheBee I'm on day 2, we're cycle buddies..

@Ripple2020 what a nice thing to say. I don't want to sound arrogant but every one of my friends says I would be such a wonderful mummy and if they could pick one person to get what they want it would be me. It all does feel so random and unfair.

I wish so much all of us will get out of this with a happy ending.

@Mumlili9 how amazing, your hat is beautiful, and to think of all the good it will do xxx

I'm throwing myself into work atm. I'm a gardener and growing a lot of seeds atm, reshaping borders and planting and watering in new things. It's beautiful to think of how things will change over the coming months. The only issue is I've become so passionate and channeled into my work that if anyone gets in my way I've become a bit of a nightmare. Think my boss has learned to step back and let me get my own way because I get obsessed with an idea for how to make something more beautiful and even if it takes me extra labour and time I won't stop until I achieve it. It's good to remember the positive impacts we can have on the world that aren't all about procreating... and in the mean time I'm just hoping we all get a wonderful surprise this year. I know if I made it out of this hell I'd be so sad if you guys didn't all get your rainbow babies too :(

sending lots of hugs today xxx

@Ripple2020 💗

@Mumlili9 You’ve been through so much. Don’t rush into anything. None of us know what the future holds but you’ve been so strong. I know you don’t have a choice in what you’ve been through but you’ve been such a support to the rest of us and now helping others’ little babies. You are an inspiration

@Morganmom I am a bit behind on the thread. Are you having IVF now? How is it going? Good luck! PS I tried to crochet when I was having my DD and couldn’t do it even from a YT video...

I am wondering whether to track this month. I have had a few cycles of not tracking, just using Ovia, but it might just help me feel like I’m doing something especially as my cycle has been irregular again. I had settled at a 29 day cycle but December was 36 days and last cycle was 33 days. On CD1 now but at least the PMT cloud has gone ⛅️

@Ripple2020 to be honest I've no idea what is going on with me right now, thought I ovulated but didn't get a temp rise despite a very positive opk. As for trying again, I don't know what to do. I want to try again but I have to wait until I'm healed, plus I'm to scared incase this happens again. My heads not in a great place right now, I lost my babies, my tube and could have lost my life (dramatic I know). DH is to scared to even hug me incase he hurts me, bless him he is having nightmares about this too. I don't think we think enough about how our partners feel watching us go through the losses when there's nothing they can do to help. I do opks and temp. I've not taken any pain relief since waking up from the op because I'm terrified it will fry my eggs (rediculous I know but I can't help it my brain hates me). Fx for fw hun
@Morganmom I hope your ivf cycle goes well hun x as for videos yes there's loads of videos make sure you put something like how to knit/crochet for beginners then the video is slower.
@BunnytheBee yes hun I didn't actually notice until you said lol. Thanks

This is one of the little hats it looks orange in the pic but it's a deep red in real life

I wish I knew how to knit so to help those babies!! Is there a YouTube site to learn how to knit ???

Hi all! Just reading through your posts! Good to see you all are getting on despite all our circumstances! I’m doing good. I have been offline doing IVF! Going better than the last cycle! I’m hoping and praying for embryos! My husband looked at me today and said we are going back to ttc after this right? So I will be back soon doing my temps, and tracking FW. I kinda miss it! Miss you guys!
@Mumlili9 so happy to see your posts.

@bunnythebee fertility issues and pregnancy loss, only happens to the best of people.

@Mumlili9 sorry tagged mumlili8 but hopefully it was obvious I was meaning you! Says the person who keeps NC now

@Ripple2020 What is it that only happens to the best of people?

I didn’t get along with temping tbh. I am not using OPKs either now as I know roughly when I ov. Just do what works for you.