TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 34 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

Hi @Mumlili9 thanks so much for thinking of me! I'm doing ok, I got a bfp last week which is great but I'm feeling very wobbly about the whole thing. Anxious about it going wrong, grieving my previous loss and anxious about coronavirus. I'm a homebody but I'm finding it quite hard now, especially as it may go on some time - but I know everyone feels like that!
But I am ok 🙂 how are you, I'm sorry to see you still haven't fully healed! I hope you get answers to your questions at the hospital today. Make sure you make notes as well as it can sometimes be hard to remember everything someone says to you in those sorts of situations.
Hope everyone else is doing ok, it's a tough time at the minute so make sure you all take some time for yourself.

@MOGMOGMOG85 hi the other thread is one that was set up so that when you fall pregnant you move across so that you can talk pregnancy and scans ect and it's like this thread but for the next step. I've been across a couple of time and then when it went wrong I jumped back to this one. There's also a fitness and healthy lifestyle one connected to this one too. It's a way of encouraging each other to improve health and fertility through tips, recipes etc. I also started one recently for ttc after ectopic pregnancy too. I've been through most types of miscarriage now and by far this last one has been the very worst. Not having a part of my reproductive organ anymore to me is a double whamy loss and I felt there need to be a thread for this too.
Any type of loss is devastating but I found losing my tube and effectively some of my fertility to be the most devastating loss yet.
The fear I feel after ectopic pregnancy is so different to the fear I felt after each of my 8 other losses. Its not just the fear of losing another child but what if I lost the other tube that would be it, I wouldn't ever carry a child. Its so hard to explain. I am in no way saying that my ectopic was worse than anyone else's loss, never would I say that or even think that, it's just it's been the worst for me. Wow that was a bit of a rant wasn't it I do apologise x

@Mumlili9 No I haven’t spoken to GP about it but have thought about it. It’s only maybe last year that it occurred to me that the level of PMT I get seems to be a lot worse than my friends. I mean at that time almost went message I sent starts with “I have PMS so...” or “My hormones are all over...”. I will look at castor oil too.

@VenusStarr Virtual hugs

@MOGMOGMOG85 That’s exactly me. It feels like the end of the world and usually I think I’m on the verge of a divorce when I’m pre-menstrual. It’s funny, with my first pregnancy I thought I had PMT but then was pregnant with DD. My second pregnancy (which didn’t last long) what made me realise I was pg was that I didn’t have PMT. I don’t even know when I’m due because my cycle is a bit irregular still. It was about 29 days but the last couple have been longer 32-33. Im CD24 now and I’d guess I’ve got 4-5 days as it will get worse yet 😬 I will look at that link. Understanding helps a lot.

How are you? Would you like to be furloughed? We had an email today inviting volunteers.

Thank you so much for all the welcome posts. It is much appreciated.

@Mumlili9 it’s definitely not a miracle diet! I just googled how to boost progesterone naturally as I know low progesterone can cause miscarriage. So the foods it recommends are chocolate (no bother to me there), eggs, oily fish, avocado, pistachio nuts, coconut and getting good sleep! So that’s what I’ve been trying to implement.
I’ma terrible water drinker so I’m trying to do better in that regard too and I’m walking 45 minutes to an hour every day. According to bmi charts I have about 2 stone to lose

AF is due tomorrow. I’ve has a little spotting when I wipe and boobs have been sore for the last week but less so today. I keep flip flopping between thinking I might be and thinking I’m not! It's a total rollercoaster!
I hope everyone is doing as well as they can be.

@MissSparkles81 so glad things going well in your pregnancy (coronavirus notwithstanding - its a complete nightmare. I find out tomorrow if I'm furloughed, although seriously doubt it but you never know) xxxx

@TheFoz hi and welcome to our group - I'm so sorry for your losses xx

@Mumlili9 what is the sister group, is there a new thread? Also best of luck for your appointment tomorrow, will be thinking of you xxx

@VenusStarr sorry you're going through a crap time, it seems to come in cycles doesn't it. I was really remarkably ok my last period but I'm due on Sunday and I don't think I'll be able to be totally cool about it again. It would have been my due date next Saturday too. I told a couple of people and they were just silent, I guess there's nothing to say, and it's kind of how I feel about it. I'm testing tomorrow and if I'm not pregnant then that was my last chance to fall before the due date.

@BunnytheBee sorry that you're thinking af on the way, I hope you're not right! If it helps (probably not!) the only time I was pregnant was the only time I was absolutely convinced I was not pregnant and my period coming. I had cramping, mood swings, just felt like bog standard pmt. Speaking of - I have always suffered with pretty extreme pmt. I've got better at it in my 30s simply by actually being aware of my cycle and at least being able to remind myself regularly "I'm premenstrual, I'm premenstrual". I also warn my partner - I am due on Sunday and I've been feeling really angry today, so was pretty snipey with him all morning, then apologised and mentioned it was my time of the month. Unfortunately he then said "still it doesn't mean you can just take it all out on me though" and I answered "I KNOW!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!! !!!" and he had the good sense to back away! He's learned over the years that if I give him fair warning it's probably best if he gives me space! I know the depression too, for decades I felt as though it was the actual end of the world every. single. time. for me I get really hyper and happy halfway(ish) through my cycle though which is the upside. Weirdly this one website here www.myhormonology.com/learn/female-hormone-cycle/ helped me loads in understanding my hormones, and particularly that you have a mini-pmt period just after ovulation which I had not known before but always wondered why that happened to me! When are you due? Hope you feel better soon xx

@clitterratti having happy sex sounds like a plan! I've decided to put a bit more effort in that department too. When I've been depressed and just so desperate to get pregnant its definitely been a massive chore rather than a happy thing. Trying to remedy that now. Thinking of investing in some new underwear, maybe even an outfit which is pretty groundbreaking for me, and you've got me googling sex positions haha! There are some pretty insane ones out there but some worth trying for sure! Generally though I'm with @BunnytheBee my chart would be pretty zzzz xx

Yeah very much so ... working from home. Im a specialist nurse so my days are literally filled with this coronavirus. Completely stressing me out ... dunno how much longer I can cope with it all 😬

@MissSparkles81 good to hear all is going well. The anxiety is normal I think. Hope your staying in where your safe xx

Hi @Mumlili9 thank you for checking up on me. Im good thank you. Currently 6+4 weeks. Very very anxious and worried and if I am honest trying to not think about it at all.

@SweetpeaOrMarigold can I firstly just say thank you for the really hard job your doing right now xx. Surely the GP can give you more thyroxine or do you need a check up and medication review?

@VenusStarr no need to apologise hun that's that this group is for all the good bad and in-between times. I'm sorry your so upset. Anniversaries are so hard and they will always be a sensitive time, they do get easier to cope with, I still cry for my first and that was 3 years ago now. Please be gentle with your self xx

Thanks for the tag @Mumlili9 ❤️ good luck for tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you.

Sorry to hear af is on the way @BunnytheBee ❤️

I'm really not good at the moment. We're not ttc and I thought I was coping but it hit me this morning. Plus it's the first anniversary of my first liss on Saturday and I've not stopped crying today. Feeling really shit.

Sorry not a good update. Hope everyone is OK. X

Hi @Mumlili8 thanks for thinking of me!
Have been burying my head for a bit, this 'not trying' is rubbish. Think one month is enough! I definitely feel mentally better and we are happier than ever. Reassessed how we both feel, and we both want to try again, just not sure when.
Am a frontline nurse so its tricky at present, unsure if we should hold off til I know if I've had it or not. Also as soon as you're pregnant you go off into hibernation at the moment, don't know if I could cope with another MC with the whole ward knowing.
My MC appt has been cancelled, so again, unsure what to do. My 2 months of thyroxine have nearly run out, so going to try phoning GP tomorrow for a plan.
Haven't read through, have been hiding from MN til today.
Will catch up tomorrow, hope everyone is ok xxx

@Hayleylou89 yes I'm getting there thanks. Fx for this fw you never know this could be your month xx

@BunnytheBee I'm sorry you have to go through this every cycle. Have you spoken to the GP about it? Have you tried 'Head space' it is really good for relaxation. I've just started doing castor oil packs and I really enjoy it. But I have to stop now I'm in the tww. Maybe give that a go too

@Mumlili9 im good try to find my peak on my cb but its taking its time and doing my head in now as iv had alot of flashing smileys! In CD 16 today and my natural cycles app is saying ill ov on sunday ... my cheap opks seem to be getting stronger so the sooner the better so i can get in the tww 🙂 hope ur all well! Xx

@Mumlili9 Yes it’s so bad every time. I mean I really feel completely down, depressed and v irritable for 5 or more days. It affects my life quite a lot. I can’t even concentrate on work when I have it. I will look into vitamins e and also evening primrose, which I think I’ve heard about before.

Good luck for your appointment tomorrow. If you haven’t already I suggest writing all your questions down.

@MOGMOGMOG85 @footprintsintheslow
How are you ladies?

Sorry I've not tagged everyone. I've kind of lost track of where we all are. I lost ast to who has moved on to the sister thread now.

On another note I've got my hospital appointment tomorrow and god am I nervous. I have a ton of questions for him though, he might regret seeing me lol

@Hayleylou89 @Whiffle77 @SweetpeaOrMarigold @MissSparkles81 @ravenwheeler @Shefliesonherownwings @Avocuddles @VenusStarr how are you ladies getting on?

@BunnytheBee oh hun I'm sorry AF looks to be on her way. Do you get bad pmt every cycle. I'm sure I've read something about pmt and vitamin E but not 100% on that. I take evening primrose oil from AF to ovulation and that seems to have calmed mine down.

@Mumlili9 @clitterratti I’m spotting today and feel v on edge so AF must be on her way 😒 I’m fine but have mentioned before I get severe PMTT so not feeling amazing

@TheFoz welcome to our huddle! I am so very sorry for your losses. I know how frustrating it can be. We are in this together, and we hope for ourselves as much as we hope for each other. Stress is the last thing you need, don't be disappointed either. You're on this. It will happen.

@BunnytheBee I think I need to look up 'the baby maker'. I'm on my third day of AF and I keep thinking of my next round of baby making plans.My logic: I need to be in a happy place for this to happen. Sex makes me happy. Happy sex will make me a baby (I hope).

@Mumlili9 aint no shame in sharing. Be proud. Be victorious. I wish you all the success in not wasting a drop. We all feel the same way about the good old man juice.

@TheFoz hello and welcome. So sorry for your losses. This is a wonderful safe place full of wonderful ladies. Please feel free to share as much or as little as you like. I've been here forever (since thread 14) and I truely couldn't have gotten through all my losses with out these ladies.
Now just a quick question what is this miracle diet your doing for progesterone. Mine is low because I always get a really slow bbt rise after ovulation which indicates low progesterone production

@BunnytheBeeim doing OK 3 dpo now. I was utterly convinced I ovulated on my bad side (tubeless side) but now I'm not sure I've have painful ovulation type cramps over the last 4 days but they alternate sides so I'm super confused 😕. How are you doing?
@clitterratti (tmi) we go for a couple each time but the finishing one is always good old missionary that way I don't have to move for at least an hour (lol don't want to waste a drop) omg was that way to much (I'm ashamed of myself and I will go sit in the corner and think about my actions)

Sorry for your losses @TheFoz and good luck for this cycle

Hi everyone, I’m new to this part of mumsnet.

I’m 41, had an early miscarriage at 5 + 2 at the end of August and a mmc diagnosed at our scan at 7 + 4 at the end of November. Used medical management but needed an ERPC at the middle of December.
I started using the Flo app in the last 5 weeks or so. AF is due on 2/04, symptoms for pregnancy and AF are the same for me so it’s impossible to guess! I’m really not sure that I ovulated this month though. At 170lbs I have a fair bit of weight to lose so that’s a focus, I’m just afraid it’s not going to happen.
I ordered OPK’s last night on amazon so I should have them over the weekend, this is a whole new world for me, I have 2 kids and no bother conceiving either of them. I’m trying to increase my progesterone naturally through diet as I’m worried that’s an issue.