TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 34 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

Had a thought to day - the positive of AF arrives is I can try my new menstrual cup that I ordered from Amazon last month 😬

Hi @TheFoz I'm sorry for your period arriving :( I could be there with you any day now. 3 months is nothing though, try to hold out hope! If you were pregnant before it's vastly most likely you'll be pregnant again. thats what i keep telling myself after trying for 16 months that first time and now 7 since the miscarriage xxx

@Hayleylou89 @Mumlili9 I don't have the test any more, but before I threw it away I washed it with water as I read that can wash away an evap? and the line stayed. I am still aware it could all be a big false alarm though as of course you can't read a test hours after you took it. I'm just desperate and clutching at straws. I'll know the truth either way very very soon

@Mumlili9 I'm so upset to hear about your appointment. I can't believe this happened, but the main thing which upsets me is that no-one told you. You could have gone away and kept trying and trying without knowing what had happened. I hope that the consultant was wrong... the fact they suggested you try for 6 months suggests they're not 100% sure? I know that's not the most helpful thing to say right now but all I know is I've had a lot of different people say different stuff about my fibroids, one guy was all doom and gloom but in the end I realised he didn't know what he was doing. I don't know what to say except I am so so sorry for your whole long difficult heartbreaking journey you have gone through. Please keep posting in here and leaning on us :( xxx

I think it's between £9 and £12k. I've been saving anyway, but am trying to see the silver lining that we can save a bit more and hopefully have some money available when clinics open @Mumlili9

Good lord that sound awful for you friend @VenusStarr. Do you mind me asking how much would you pay upfront

@Mumlili9 I've been looking into access fertility - you pay upfront for X amount of ivf cycles and get a refund if unsuccessful which is a horrible thought but also makes it feel affordable. I know our situations are different but I'm hopeful for you ❤️
I think we'll look into private ivf after all this settles down, I can't see our nhs cycle starting anytime soon but hoping that private clinics will get going sooner rather than later.
The ebay advert is shit. I said to dh that's not how digitals work but the whole premise is just crap 😡 😡

Someone I follow on Instagram has had to have medical management today (her 3rd mc in a year) and she's documented her care today and its really scary. Very basic and if she needs surgical it will be under local anesthetic, which is just awful. It's reinforced that for me, although I desperately don't want to stop trying, there is no specialist care and that scares me and I know I need the additional care which just isn't there right now 😔

I hope everyone is OK. This is just shit :( xx

I am mostly a floater and try and keep up with stories but I wanted to say I'm so so sorry to hear what you are going through @Mumlili9, I can't even imagine how your feeling right now :(

Is anyone else getting f*ed off with seeing the ebay advert. '94 fateful seconds' sounds like it's a huge mistake. If only that's all it took for us. I hate that advert with so much passion 😡 😡

@TheFoz I really don't know exactly, more than we have or can get hold of I think.
I suppose we just keep going praying for a miracle until I no longer have ovulation. I'm sorry AF got you hun I understand how horrible that feels.

Af just arrived. I’m so angry and frustrated and upset and annoyed and bloody pissed off. I got pregnant on the 2nd cycle after the first mc. This is the third cycle now after the mmc and surgery and I’m only getting older.

@Mumlili8 I’m sorry today was so crap for you. My 17 year old daughter had her right tube and ovary removed in August due to a huge dermoid cyst and I have such fear for her for the future. How much would you be looking at for ivf? Is there any way to raise the money?

Oh @mumlili9 you poor thing 💞 sending you so much love. I'm not surprised your husband was angry. It's awful that it happened, but also awful that they have only just told you! I think it is right to make a complaint, even if you dont take it further than that, so that it can be looked into and hopefully prevented in the future.
Make sure you take some time to yourself to heal, and let yourself feel whatever you need to. Sending you lots of love xxx

@Hayleylou89 I would say you'll probably have a good positive by tomorrow night. Good luck hun Fx for you and hope this is your cycle.

Not to mention I had a really low temp drop this morning and now FF says I didn't ovulate after all. It's like I'm down so just keep kicking.

@VenusStarr I'm still waiting on the hysteroscopy. I just feel so crap after the consultant said that a natural pregnancy would be unlikely. DH is so angry I'm hoping he calms down about it. We really can't afford private ivf as we already have a £10k loan that we're paying off for the new car. I know that sounds stupid saying we can afford to have a baby but not afford ivf. It's the lump sum issue. We have had trouble in the past with credit because DH was on sick pay for almost 18 months about 7 years ago so we ended up on a payplan scheme. We finally paid it all off when we started trying for a baby. We though right were in a good place financially we can finally have a family but instead we had 9 miscarriages and me on the sick on and off for 3 years. I'm just in a really dark place right now 😢

Oh @Mumlili9 ❤️ ❤️ I am so sorry. That's awful. It's definitely worth a complaint (I don't think you can sue for negligence if you haven't first been through the complaints procedure - but I may be wrong on that). I guess there are always risks to any medical procedure but that doesn't take away from what's happened. I thought you were having a hysteroscopy? Or did you already have one?
Would you consider private ivf? I'm thinking that's where we're headed.
Sending you lots of love xxx ❤️

@MOGMOGMOG85 have you still got the test can post a pic so we can look too xx

It upsets me that the odds for a perforation are 1 in 1000 so to have 2 holes is that negligence or just pure bad luck

@Hayleylou89 DH thinks that I should sue for the perforations but I Believe they are a complication on the permissions form you sign before surgery so it wouldn't stand up would it

@MOGMOGMOG85 heyy have u got a picture of the test and we can have a little look and see what we think xx

@Mumlili8 so sorry to hear ur having such an awful time! That sound like it was a major cock up...Why are u thinking you wont have a case to sue? Xx

Hi girls CD 17 and just got this opk however my cb digital is still a flashing smiley no peak... should i expect a peak maybe tomorrow after this being pretty much positive now? Only my first month using CB and its driving me mad x

So I'm back from the hospital. Devastated doesn't cover how I'm feeling. It's looking like my journey may be over.

I was told my baby wasn't tested due to the form going missing and my tube and baby were sent for incineration.

Also because the baby was alive when they removed it and my tube it is not classed as a miscarriage but a tfmr.

I have now seen photos of the LITTLE bit of damage to the top of my uterus from the op. It definitely was not a small damage. They perforated my uterus on the top twice through and through. I have been told its likely caused scar tissue deep in the muscle. When I asked the odds for me having a baby I was told unlikely without help. Where I live the cut off for NHS funded ivf is 35 so I'm 3 years too old. He said try on your own for 6 months and if you don't get get pregnant (which is likely to be the case) then they well do a hsg (?) but after that there's nothing else they can do for me on the NHS. DH is going on about suing them but I don't think I'll have a case

Ahhh @mogmogmog85 that's frustrating - are you going to order more tests? I have used cheapie ones of amazon and found them fine before AF is due. Plus you dont mind wasting them.
I also keep my tests for a day or so and have tested every day for a week 🙈

Long potentially pointless story: So I tested this morning (af due on Sunday so that makes me either 3 days before or 4 days before missed period according to different things I read, and the test can be used 4 days before). I woke up about 4am needing a wee so did it then as I consider that first morning urine and I'd gone to bed around 10. I knew I was going to be gutted if it was negative but did it anyway, and it was negative. I think I waited around 3 mins and didn't see anything come up on the window. Usually I chuck away in the main bin but was half asleep and chucked away in the little bathroom bin. So I got straight back to sleep despite the disappointment and then woke up properly a few hours later and went to use the loo again. The test was poking out of the bathroom bin staring at me and so (everyone now knows where this story is going) I picked it out the bin and looked at it - it had a strong pink line on it, not as thick as the control line but pretty dark. I hated myself for looking. I've never seen an evap before, but have had a couple of times where the test line gets kind of wet and gray and I stare at it for ages willing it to come up darker. But this line was really dark, it looked like my positives used to look after a few hours (I tested ALL. THE. TIME. when I was pregnant and used to have a test sat around for at least 24 hours so I could enjoy the 2 lines before I threw it away, yeah I'm crazy). I've now done loads of reading online with some people saying an evap can't be pink and others saying you can never trust a test after the time you're supposed to be looking at it. I know what the answer is: it means nothing, and I simply have to wait and test again. But damn I've driven myself crazy already!!!!!!! !!!!

:'(

And also no need to ever apologise for a rant on these threads! It's exactly what they are here for, and someone will always understand exactly how you are feeling