TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 34 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

God - sorry I'm losing it was meant to read
38yo
Started TTC in Nov 2018
BFP Dec 2018. followed my MMC in Feb 2019
BFP Jan 2020 followed by MMC March 2020

Hoping if it happens again, it doesn't take another year!

@peperethecat welcome and sorry to see you here.

I'm very sorry for your losses. People say the due dates are the hardest but I found the anniversary of the BFP and the memories of things from when I was pregnant to be worse. I am also surrounded by people having babies. Come vent here.

I was meant to put on my summary -

38yo
Started TTC in Nov 2019
BFP Dec 2019. followed my MMC in Feb
BFP Jan 2020 followed by MMC March
In theory will be trying again once my cycle gets back on track
Seems like I get lucky once a year at Christmas....not so lucky in Spring

Hi @Mumlili9 thanks for asking.
I'm OK except I am still really angry with everyone, including DH who keeps telling me what to do like I am a child and hasn't done anything to acknowledge what has happened even though I have said that even a £3 bunch of tulips would be a lovely gesture. He is also no longer interested in sex even though my sex drive has come back with a bang for the first time in ages and I want to be able to enjoy it without having to pee on sticks every bloody night!

Also, my 'friend' who took a full week to ask me how I was after the MMC and has only been in touch once since then to ask about setting up her virtual baby shower. I haven't even replied yet.....

BUT I am loving the lack of commute and the exercise and I think I am finally losing a bit of weight.

How are you keeping?

@Mumlili9 Yes we are both WFH but our laptop broke and DH doesn’t have his work laptop yet so he is only really working for a couple of hours a day (if that). We have a nice garden that DH has been working on since we moved in last year but I’ve told him to save some energy for later 😂

@peperethecat I’m sorry you find yourself here but it’s a lovely group. It is hard to think back to where you were this time last year or the year before or thinking about what could have been and I find my mind runs around more when I have time on my hands so trying to stay busy and get out for a walk or do some exercise helps x

Hi Ladies,

I'm well. I just filled in the American form for some relief money. I pay taxes in both countries so the idea of getting a couple dollars extra feels exciting. I still haven't sorted out my kids passports or social security cards...which is something I have been meaning to do for about 11 years, but never got around to it. TBF, Trump scares the shit out of me. I've been watching 'The Good Fight' and I can't wait to start watching 'Killing Eve'.

I do have a tonne of work to catch up on, and I can honestly say: I hate cooking, but I hate bad food more so I guess I have no choice but to keep cooking.

We had run out of food on Easter Sunday, because my husband bought less than he was supposed to and also shared some of our groceries with some of our neighbours. Then, when I went into the pantry I realised my little girl and my younger sister have been sneak eating all the cheese and cured meats. So we had chocolate eggs and crackers--for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

We are also running dangerously low on Gin.

Anyone else running into situations like these?

Hello, is it OK if I join this thread? I've been lurking for a while but signed up to ask some questions on the pred thread.

I've been TTC for just over a year, had a CP/very early MC in cycle 1, another early miscarriage in cycle 3, took a couple of months' break over the summer to have some testing done, then got pregnant again just before Christmas but had a MMC in January. My cycles are (I think) just about back to normal, but I think I had another CP at the very end of last cycle.

I've found Easter really hard because last year I found out I was pregnant for the first time on Good Friday, and spent the Easter weekend in a little bubble of happiness thinking it had worked first time and this was going to be easy for us, before starting to bleed a couple of days later. Finding it quite difficult thinking about where we were a year ago, and how I should be on mat leave with a little baby by now, and now here I am a year later, still not pregnant and with three, possibly four losses under my belt.

I don't think lockdown is helping tbh!

@clitterratti*.*@zoomies1 @VenusStarr @MOGMOGMOG85 @FloDaffodil @Isittimeforbubblesyet @Babytinx11
And anyone I haven't tagged
How are you all holding up? Hope your all well xx

@BunnytheHoneyBee hope you manage to get some bding in. Are you wfh then?

Im enjoying the sunshine and gardening.

Thanks @Mumlili9 I didn’t know that! I keep changing as I worry I’m too outing sometimes but hopefully it’s not too confusing! I hope this is a better cycle for you. My cycles are a bit irregular at the moment too. I must be due to go into my fertile period soon but my DH has been gardening every day and then he falls asleep on the sofa at about 9 pm do need to see if we can actually do the BD this cycle 😬

@BunnytheHoneyBee I see you name changed again. Like the name. Did you know through out culture the honeybee is said to bring improved fertility. How are you doing ? Hopefully it will be a good cycle this time the last one was very confusing.

I’m sorry AF arrived @Mumlili9 buy wishing you well for this cycle

Hello ladies how are you all doing?

So AF arrived today 😔. On to the next cycle. I'm feeling very anxious with everything that's going on in the world but hopefully it won't cause any harm to my chances.

PS happy Easter everyone

Eat some chocolate and get outside if you can

We spent time in the garden yesterday and that was nice

@Mumlili9 How are you? You’ve mentioned your friend before and I’m not surprised you find it tough. Particularly the drinking and smoking in her pregnancies. That kind of thing winds me up after I had a full term loss when I wouldn’t even drink Coke during my pregnancy (avoiding caffeine) and then women who drink and smoke their babies are fine. It’s so unfair. You’ve been a good friend to support her for so long. Does she understand why it’s difficult for you?

@MOGMOGMOG85 I think people insensitive full stop and we are probably v sensitive / emotional about our own situations so it’s not a good mix...

@zoomies1 My team is like this. There is always someone on mat leave or pregnant and about to go on mat leave. I find it tough sometimes (a) because all the team’s having babies and my baby died and (b) on a bad I sometimes feel they’re being insensitive going on about mat leave constantly. But they did it when I had just come back from mat leave (6 months early as my baby had died) so I think they are a bit oblivious. There’s already been a toddler on screen. The other day some of them were doing all team emails jokey complaining about being at home with the kids. I felt like saying “It might not be ideal it’s better than the alternative!” Oh and got the team email last week with photos of newborn. I deleted it 🙈

@FloDaffodil I’m sorry you had another MC. Maybe give your DH some time to come around to the idea of surrogacy, if that’s something you want to give serious consideration to. I find my DH is resistant to some things too. He wants a baby very much and we’ve talked about adoption (not necessarily as an alternative to having our own baby, something we might want to do anyway) but he doesn’t like the idea of IVF for some reason.

@Isittimeforbubblesyet I think most of us understand the anxiety around people we know announcing pregnancies and I hate hearing about the possible baby boom too as it makes me picture everyone I know getting pregnant except me!

@clitterratti How are you?

@Mumlili9 that is really rubbish and so frustrating. I dont understand how some people can be so lucky and others have no luck at all 😪 I dont blame you for feeling you cant support her ❤ I guess all we can do is continue to hope...

I actually got a spike today in my bbt but I woke up at 3.45 and popped to the loo very quickly before waking again at my usual time to temp so think the rise is to do with that rather than ovulation Will know tomorrow I guess (I'll make sure I do a wee before bed tonight!)

@Isittimeforbubblesyet yes it can happen. I've had it a few times. It just makes that cycle longer and a heavier period. I totally understand that feeling of failure hun, we shouldn't feel this way we did nothing wrong but it's really hard to push it away.

I've had a crappy day I fell out big time with my best friend. She's right in the middle of her 8th pregnancy (she has 7 children and one part cooked) and she's smoking and still drinking and still going out visiting people during the lock down. I feel I just can't be there to support her anymore. She's seen everything I've been through and still treats her pregnancy like yah whatever I don't what I want attitude. It feels bad that I will not be there for the birth of this little boy, I've been there for all 7 of the other kids. What's even more annoying is they all have different dads and she gets pregnant within the first month she starts dating a new man. She is also older than me too. How is this fair.

Thanks @Mumlili9 I was hoping maybe it was a late one this month but doesn't look like it. Feeling so crap this morning as this was our last chance to conceive before my due date next month. Feeling like such a failure for my body not working properly and so frustrated that no one can help because of covid-19. Anyone know if it's common to get positive opks but not actually ovulate? I just wonder if this has been the issue. All in all, we have trying to conceive for 2 years now 😪

@Mumlili9

Age: 36
Losses: 1 stillbirth, 15/2/2020
TTC for 2 months now.

@Isittimeforbubblesyet hi hun. Good news on the smiling face. The temping takes some getting used to. I've been doing it for 2 years and I sometimes still forget. I get to the bedroom door and think "crap I didn't temp". Sorry to hear about your mmc in October. Mmc's are awful its such a smack in the face because you're thinking all is well them wham it's all over in 4 words. Yes I'm fed up of this stupid baby boom thing too xx

Hi Ladies,

Another floater here and only catching up after a crazy month due to covid-19. @Mumlili9 I am so sorry to read through your experience. It just sounds awful and I am truly hoping that you get some good news. I can understand your reluctance to take things further with the NHS but it does sound like they have been incredibly negligent. I'm sorry to hear about your BFN. Fingers crossed for next month.

For those who feel like crap when there is another pregnancy/new baby. It is such a conflict of emotions but I also live in fear of a pregnancy being announced. It's horrible as that's not like me and I was never like that before but I get really down when another friend says she is pregnant.

@VenusStarr how are you doing? Again catching up but sounds like it hasnt been a great time for you 😥

I got my first smiley face after my MMC in October but no temperature rise so doubt it will happen for us this month (although this is my first month temping so who knows!) I'm currently furloughed and all i know is that is one more person makes a joke about joining a baby boom, I will actually lose it!

Hope all you ladies are doing ok. Sending to you all

@Babytinx11 hello and welcome, sorry for your loss x I can't find your other post. Is this a hpt for a possible new pregnancy?

Hello ladies I'm feeling a bit better. AF due on the 14th bfn for me today.

I have to be very honest I'm lost as to where everyone is on there journeys so I'm thinking an early roll call just so we're upto date I'll go first.

Age 38
9 losses since 2018, last loss also resulted in losing my left tube due to ectopic pregnancy. I'm on my first normal cycle since the op, bfn today 10 dpo. Praying that the scar tissue from the botched surgery will not make me infertile as the consultant suggests. I have 6 cycles to get pregnant and if unsuccessful I'm to have a hsg and a hysteroscopy to investigate. I've been through rmc and all blood tests are normal except I have low prolactin levels and low AMH levels but my FSH and LH levels are normal.

Hope your all staying safe and healthy

Hi all,
Trying catch up from where I posted last night told dh I am testing again in the morning he wasn’t sure it was a good idea but I am doing it anyway lol hope everyone is ok and staying safe xx

I’ve missed lots since last reading the thread but saw your post @Mumlili9 and I’m so sorry about how badly your uterus was damaged after the ectopic surgery. Are they saying it will be difficult to get pregnant because of losing the tube or because of the scar tissue in the uterus or both? Gutting also not to get genetic results on the baby - how could they lose the form? Unbelievable! In terms of saving for IVF, a cycle at Guy’s Hospital is about £5k. Self-funded cycles at NHS hospitals seem to be cheaper than most of the private clinics. No clinics are offering IVF at the moment though.

I was supposed to be having a hysteroscopic uterine resection at the recurrent miscarriage clinic but that has been cancelled for the foreseeable future due to coronavirus. I did find out that the genetic abnormality in the baby I lost over Christmas was a random one-off and not inherited from me or my husband which is good I guess. But I had my sixth miscarriage last week and am starting to think more about surrogacy because I don’t think I can handle any more miscarriages. My husband is not at all keen on the idea though.

Keeping fingers crossed for you @MOGMOGMOG85

Hope you’re doing okay @BunnytheBee. I definitely sympathise with you @clitterratti @zoomies1 about the constant reminders from other people’s pregnancies and kids. Working from home should have made it easier but they still manage to shove it in your face somehow!

Sorry to hear about your missed miscarriage @zoomies1.