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Conception

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TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 34 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

959 replies

BunnytheBlueWhale · 23/01/2020 09:23

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to give and receive support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy or baby. Pregnancy and child loss is one of the most difficult things we can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

I have found so much comfort from the lovely ladies on this thread and I’m hoping for lots of BFPs in 2020!

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

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peperethecat · 18/04/2020 18:13

Also, do you use the Clearblue Advanced ovulation tests? They're supposed to be able to detect estrogen as well as LH. I was planning on using them this cycle to see if I could detect an estrogen surge, and if not I was going to push my doctor for more blood tests and an ultrasound and maybe the estradiol supplements. But obviously I can't do that now because I got a static smiley on the first day I tried to use them and it turned out I was pregnant. Confused

peperethecat · 18/04/2020 17:56

Yes I am having serial betas done. My HCG was 383 on Thursday and 600 this morning (almost 48 hours later). I'm not sure whether that kind of rise is low enough to suggest an ectopic or more likely a uterine pregnancy that isn't developing well. It's far too low given that I should be nearly 6 weeks based on my ovulation date. And because my "period" last week was so heavy I don't understand how an embryo could have survived in my uterus, which makes me suspect it may be somewhere other than my uterus.

Mumlili9 · 18/04/2020 17:50

@peperethecat thank you for your reply, that's really interesting I might just give it a go this cycle. They gave me a month's supply before I had my surgery so I've got 3 boxes. I might just do it, it can't hurt. My doc will not give me estrogen, I've already asked.
I'm so sorry your possibly going through another loss. Have you ask your doctor for hcg bloods or is that not possible right now

peperethecat · 18/04/2020 17:47

@msanne Sorry for your loss. Are you still getting positive pregnancy tests? I had to have an MVA to remove the last bit of retained placental tissue after my last miscarriage, but it's possible it would have come out with my period if we'd left it. If your HCG has returned to zero or near enough then theoretically you should ovulate and get your period, and that might flush the rest of it out.

Mumlili9 · 18/04/2020 17:39

@msanne hi in my experience with bits left over inside. I've had advice to wait a couple of periods to give my body time to clear its self out. You might find that your next period is heavy and clotty. I'm ready sorry for your loss. Please feel you can stick around for support while you are ttc.

peperethecat · 18/04/2020 15:26

Sorry forgot to tag @Mumlili9 in my reply.

peperethecat · 18/04/2020 15:22

I live in France and was given the vitamin E and pentoxifylline on prescription. I take it every day, no matter where I am in my cycle. That said, I'm not sure how good the evidence is for it. There are some studies showing that it helped to thicken the endometrium in patients who didn't respond to estrogen therapy.

I think that one of my next moves will be to ask my gynaecologist for a transvaginal ultrasound around the time I am due to ovulate and see how thick my lining is then. If it's still as thin as she seems to think, I'd like to try micronized estradiol and see if that helps. From what I've read, a thin lining is either down to poor circulation in the uterus or low estrogen. I suspect I may have low estrogen, and that the other stuff I'm taking to improve my lining may not help. I very rarely see any EWCM, which I think may be an indication of low estrogen.

Regarding my periods, I never normally get more than three days of bleeding, and it's always very light. I'm trying to be more scientific about it and actually measure the quantity of blood using a menstrual cup. Unfortunately I don't have a lot of data yet because last cycle was the first period after my miscarriage and I don't think my lining had a chance to build up at all before ovulation because I was still bleeding and spotting. When my period finally came I recorded 10ml on the first day, 7ml on the second day and 3ml on the third day, so 20ml in total. From what I've found on the Internet, less than 20-25ml per cycle is considered abnormally light. To confuse matters, last week I had a very heavy "period" with two days of proper heavy bleeding followed by three days of light bleeding. I think I bled around 75ml in total. I was really pleased because I thought it was maybe a sign that my lining had built up for once, and if nothing else that my uterus was having a good old clear out. It made me hopeful for the next cycle. But then unfortunately I tested positive for pregnancy on what I thought was day 10 of my cycle and am now dealing with what I suspect is another non-viable pregnancy and possibly an ectopic, so God knows what is going on. I suspect it will be a while before I start having normal periods I can track now.

As for the progesterone, from what I can make out it isn't usually prescribed in the UK because there is little evidence that it actually helps. But it seems to be quite commonly prescribed in France. I was originally told by one gynaecologist to start taking it as soon as I got a BFP, but she then referred me to another gynaecologist who has more expertise in miscarriages. When I spoke to her and told her about how I track my cycles, she told me to start taking it the day after ovulation because it might help with implantation. Interestingly, in Professor Lesley Regan's book, she dismisses progesterone supplements almost entirely, saying they don't improve pregnancy outcomes, but she does add that if any research shows they are helpful in the future, she thinks it will show that they help with implantation, and so would only be helpful during monitored cycles where the patient takes them during the luteal phase. So maybe there is something in it. Anyway, because I am self-monitoring my cycles I don't actually take it until 3 or 4 DPO, when I'm sure I've definitely ovulated, because I don't want to start taking it too early if I get a random high temperature and mess with my ovulation. I then take it until about 12 DPO and stop if my test is negative.

If you're being prescribed progesterone supplements and tracking your ovulation with OPKs and temping then maybe you could suggest this approach to your doctor. You'll need more progesterone if you're taking it in the second half of every cycle than if you only take it when you get a BFP, so they'll need to be on board with this approach.

As for whether it works, who knows? But I took it from 3 DPO when I got pregnant the third time and the embryo implanted very well indeed. So well that when I was diagnosed with a missed miscarriage it took two rounds of misoprostol and then an MBA to shift it. Sad Unfortunately we didn't have the embryo tested because I passed the sac during the attempted medical management, but my gynaecologist thought it looked like a chromosomal abnormality from the ultrasound because the sac was very large compared to the size of the embryo. So it's quite possible that if the embryo had been normal the progesterone might have helped it go to term.

Sorry for the long essay. I hope some of this is helpful to you. I've only just created this account so I could start posting but I've been reading these threads for some time and I am so sorry about all your losses and everything you've been through. Flowers

msanne · 18/04/2020 15:15

HI Ladies,

I just found this thread, so wanted to ask some of your advice.

We lost our little girl to Edwards syndrome about a month and a half ago; I had a medical termination at 17 weeks which was horrible in itself. I was able to birth the placenta at the same time but a few US scans since have shown remnants inside of me. I went to see the consultant yesterday and he advised me that although it appears i have some of the old pregnany inside me, my body has in fact returned to "normal" I have ovulated (from both ovaries) and the blood flow in the entire area looks good. He told me that I could start TTC again (if we are ready) after my next period and told me that I wouldn't need to have any further scans or surgery.

I am a bit confused though - wouldn't it be dangerous if I got pregnant if there was old tissue inside me? This "tissue" has not budged for over 1 month (despite numerous scans)...Or will that be re-absorbed back into my body.

Any advice or help is greatly appreciated :)

Thank you xx

Isittimeforbubblesyet · 18/04/2020 15:01

Hi @Mumlili9 thanks for the mention. Really sorry to hear AF came and that it has been short and light. I dont think mine have been the same since the MC but until this virus stuff is over, they wont look into it further.

@MOGMOGMOG85 I am so sorry to hear that you are bleeding. How are things today?

I am on dpo10 and broke and did a test today which came back negative. Was fully expecting it to be negative but I still feel sad that I won't have conceived before my due date next month.

Stay safe everyone Flowers

Mumlili9 · 18/04/2020 14:59

@peperethecat I've been taking Vitamin E at 400 uq (phone does have the correct symbols) I'm not sure what this is in mg. How long do you take it upto ovulation or the whole cycle? This pentoxifylline can you only get it on prescription? If you don't mind me ask a tmi question but how would you describe a light period. Mine is first day of light red flow and second day of red spotting followed by 2 days of brown spotting. I've not had any tests for this as I'm trying to convince gynaecology to take it seriously but they just said they will do a hysteroscopy but never sent me an appointment, then covid happened and my ectopic so I don't know where I stand right now with tests. I'm just going to keep trying. I was given progesterone for when /if I ever get a bfp. But if my lining is a problem maybe I should take it before hand to help thicken my lining or its going to be too line to implant anyway? That do you ladies think?

peperethecat · 18/04/2020 10:50

My periods are very light and I was diagnosed with a thin endometrium, although both times I was scanned I was quite far from ovulation so I don't know how thick it gets at that point. My doctor prescribed 1000mg vitamin E and 800mg pentoxifylline to try and boost it.

BunnytheHoneyBee · 18/04/2020 10:47

Thanks @Mumlili9

You’ve mentioned before being worried your AF can be light. Have you spoken to anyone about it?

Thanks @FloDaffodil I hope you’re ok

FloDaffodil · 18/04/2020 10:27

Wanted to recommend a couple of books to everyone that have really helped me. One is Prof Lesley Regan’s “Miscarriage: What every woman needs to know”, which is a super detailed examination of all the causes of spontaneous and recurrent miscarriage, investigations and treatments. It gets a bit techy on the scientific stuff but definitely worth reading. The second book is Julia Bueno “the brink of being: talking about miscarriage”, which is about the emotional side of things. I literally cried my way through it but it really helped and I’m thinking of recommending it to my family to help them understand what it feels like. Hope everyone doing okay.

Mumlili9 · 17/04/2020 19:32

Hello ladies

@MOGMOGMOG85 when you say bleeding is it a flow or spotting, because spotting can just be normal. Fingers crossed 🤞 all is well.
@peperethecat gently saying congratulations xx
@BunnytheHoneyBee good luck with fw xx
@zoomies1 we're about the same age. I think the anger is normal hun. I'm just numb now but hopeful that the doc is wrong and I can get pregnant again.

I'm currently cd4 after a disappointing AF, extremely light and short and ovulated on my bad side last cycle, so hoping for a better cycle this time.

Baby dust to everyone xx
Stay safe xx

BunnytheHoneyBee · 17/04/2020 14:10

@zoomies1 I think any time now is acceptable to start on the wine 🍷

I hope you’re ok

@MOGMOGMOG85 Are you bleeding or is it spotting? I hope you’re ok and hoping for the best for you x

zoomies1 · 17/04/2020 10:59

@MOGMOGMOG85 I'm so sorry to hear this. How are you doing? Fingers crossed it stops but I am gutted for you because there is just never ending worry.

@peperethecat what's fucked up is I am almost waiting to get pregnant again just so we can lose it and then the NHS might actually do something to help us. But at the same time, I am almost excited to try again....

DH needs to buy vitamins.....I don't want to nag him but I want him to take some responsibility for his part in this process. I wrote it on his shopping list yesterday but he forgot....

What time can I start drinking on a Friday in lockdown?

peperethecat · 17/04/2020 08:25

@clitterratti Yes that's it exactly. Thank you. My HCG result from yesterday has come back at 383 so now I play the waiting game to see what it will be tomorrow.

@zoomies1 My husband just commented now fucked up it is that we are miserable about this rather than happy and excited.

MOGMOGMOG85 · 17/04/2020 06:49

Hi @Mumlili9 thanks for your tag. Woken up to some bleeding this morning so feeling pretty rubbish. Nothing I can do but just wait :( I'm not surprised but I'm gutted xxx

BunnytheHoneyBee · 16/04/2020 22:04

@zoomies1 I have felt that way about friends too. I know part of it is people don’t know what to say but it’s not hard to send a message occasionally.

If she’s a close friend then I would say something but it depends how you feel. There were two friends and said something to. One of them the friendship was over anyway (I said something once after I hadn’t heard from her in months and she then didn’t get in touch again for months) and the other one actually stepped up and we’ve been closer friends since. I’d only say something if I considered them a close friend though, otherwise I just wouldn’t make an effort. I don’t think you should feel guilty about your friend’s shower when she hasn’t made such effort.

zoomies1 · 16/04/2020 21:04

@BunnytheHoneyBee no, she didn't ask for help to set it up but the thing is, I would have offered to do it for her if only she had been in touch. I have a real thing right now about people having kids expecting me to call and message and give them gifts etc when my baby died and it takes them a week to send a whatsApp but I don't know if that is just my 'angry' stage. Do I tell her I'm mad with her? I know I'll feel guilty if I miss it (if I haven't already!)

@peperethecat going through this takes away the excitement of being pregnant. Fingers crossed this sticks for you but being anxious is totally normal.

BunnytheHoneyBee · 16/04/2020 20:12

@clitterati I’m not up to date on the Good Wife because I think the new ones were not on Netflix or something but I was missing some that were on channel 4. I did like it though so I’d watch it if it were on Sky or Netflix (which I haven’t checked for a while)

clitterratti · 16/04/2020 19:32

@peperethecat
I know it sucks to have to play yet another waiting game. We won't brush you off. You know your body and you know what's going on. You just want medical confirmation. I get that. I hate when the very people we trust with our health are the ones to brush us off.

@BunnytheHoneyBee

Do watch the Good Fight! It's soo fun.

I think I'll watch Killing Eve tonight; on Thursdays I used to go out to dinner with my little sisters and we would catch up and just laugh and drink a little. I miss those nights.

peperethecat · 16/04/2020 18:39

@BunnytheHoneyBee I got a very very faint line on a FRER on what should have been 13 DPO, so I had a blood test done the next morning (ten days ago) and my HCG level was 6. I didn't get a repeat HCG test after that because I started to bleed that night and had what I believed was a very heavy period which lasted for five days.

If my HCG has continued to increase from 6 ten days ago, I suspect it has increased very slowly and I've had a very heavy bleed since then.

My doctor has replied to my email basically shrugging off the suggestion that it might be ectopic, which isn't doing anything for my stress levels. I'll have to wait until tomorrow morning for the blood test result.

BunnytheHoneyBee · 16/04/2020 18:15

@zoomies1 It’s tough isn’t it. Would you try not tracking and enjoy the dtd? Might encourage your DH too. Mine hated the tracking or feeling like sex was just for baby making so I had to find ways to let him know I’m ready without mentioning ovulation as that’s not sexy apparently.

What will you do about your friend’s shower? It’s hard to make up an excuse when it’s remote and we’re all supposed to be at home... when you say to ask about setting up, she wasn’t asking you to help set up was she?

@peperethecat If your MC / CP was last cycle did you get a negative test before getting this positive? CD10 is early to get another BFP but I’m no expert though and could be misunderstand so all the best if it is a BFP 🤞

@clitterratti How are you? Sorry I missed our post somehow the other day. I’m looking forward to Killing Eve too! Haven’t watched the first episode yet. I also liked the good wife but haven’t watched the good fight.

We’ve been ok food wise but I don’t look forward to going shopping. We are lucky to have a butchers shop on the corner and also a couple of other shops that are like mini marts as they have bread, milk, tinned food, cleaning products, pretty much evening. One of them even has some veg so we haven’t struggled food wise. We’d like a wider variety of veg so I did my first supermarket shop in a month the other day but can’t complain about that.

Hope everyone else is ok

peperethecat · 16/04/2020 18:04

@BunnytheHoneyBee @zoomies1

Thank you for your messages. I actually just found out today that I am pregnant again but I don't understand how. The dates don't work. I'm supposed to be on day 10 of my cycle and I had a five day period last week and day 3 tests done where all my hormone levels were normal for the very beginning of my cycle. Progesterone level was pretty much zero.

And yet somehow today I am pregnant. I'm terrified it's ectopic. Nothing else seems to fit with the timing.

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