TTC after miscarriage - February 2020

Hi @Michette @happythecrocodile so had a go at trying and can confirm it's got me out of a bit of a rut with thinking about the mc and feeling a bit more enthused about trying again. I am 14 days past the sac passing so I'm guessing I could be ovulating around now if what somebody earlier said further up on the thread is true. I have never used ovulation predictors before, just gone off my pretty clockwork cycle, and it's probably too late this month to start now. Now I am obsessing about whether I could be pregnant off my one attempt .

@Sparkl I was thinking maybe I would have got the solid smiley face at the beginning on the first day like yourself but didn't test that day 🤦🏼‍♀️

Hi new to the thread. I haven't been on here since I miscarried naturally 26 Nov, fairly early miscarriage where a baby hadn't actually developed, It didn't happen until after I thought I was 12 weeks though.

It took 6 weeks to get a negative pregnancy test (7 Jan although I only tested once a week) after that which seemed like a lifetime. During that time we were TTC.

@Sparkl my AF came about 2 Jan but was very light on and off, some days no bleeding other days there was. This lasted a week and a half. I was expecting it to be heavier than normal but no.

I've been doing Clearblue digital tests and had a flashing smiley face for 8 days now (had a negative 3 days before I started and then didn't test for 2 days) I've used them before and had longest 7 days before getting the solid face so not sure what's going on will just keep doing them. We've been DTD every other day.

I'm just worried that I won't ovulate now and my body isn't actually back to normal from the miscarriage 😫 Nov seems so long ago now it's coming up to Feb.

It's quite hard to get my head around that my body has been affected so much by the pregnancy when the baby hasn't even developed.

Thank you all for the advice. I haven’t actually spoken to my gp yet as I’ve just seen my hcg results online so I will ask him but I think we will try again soon.
@seaduck, I’m the same, I feel ready and want to start trying but finding it hard to find the enthusiasm to DTD. But as @michette says perhaps we just need to get back on the horse 😉 to focus on ttc and try to move on from mc.

@michette good news that your blood test was fine. Not sure when your mc was but I read somewhere that pregnancies within 6 months of mc are less likely to result in another mc, that thought is giving me hope at the moment

Hello to new joiners 👋

@happythecrocodile Some doctors advise to wait for a period some two periods some three months and some say to go for it when you feel physically and emotionally ready.

Personally DTD kind of helped in the “healing process” emotionally and the goal of trying again gave me hope (although the month wasn’t successful). But just make sure your MC is complete before starting as i think i got an infection because of sex when not complete...
But i think each and every person is different...

So i have been reading mumsnet and googling (bit too much) about aspirin to avoid MC.
And as some maybe recall i went to the GP who advised against self medicatinf unless you have a diagnosis of clotting disorder as it may otherwise be counterproductive and cause birth defect (some heart thing in fetus?)

But they also wouldnt do any blood test because it’s my first MC.

So went to have private blood test done and everything was fine. Nothing suggest i have any blood disorder that aspirin would fix in early pregnancy....

Part of me is happy but i also would have liked to find a way to avoid another MC.

Guess will just have to trust Mother Nature.

@Happythecrocodile the nurses at EPU said if you're emotionally ready then just go for it, the only reason to wait is to make it easier to date.
I was hoping to go for it, but I can't seem to find the energy to actually do any "trying". Maybe I'm not as ready as I hoped.

Hi all, can I join? I had a mc last week (confirmed yesterday by blood test) I was 5+5. Keen to start trying ttc again but also a bit nervous. Can we start again straight away or is it better to wait for any reason?

@shhhhs yes first AF since mc.
Ah thanks, I will look at those.
I never got what I would of classed as a "peak" on the ones I used, just 3 days where it was very dark... So who knows if I even ovulated, or if the opks were accurate. Its the first time I've tried them x

Hi is it ok if I join?
I just had my third miscarriage in a row yesterday (confirmed today). I’m being referred to a recurrent miscarriage but we’re of the belief to get back on the horse.
My second MMC in sept 2019 was quite traumatic so it took me a while to cope afterwards, but feel oddly calm after this one (The first and last one I was at home and I was expecting it).
Thank you for creating a safe space and I look forward to seeing everyone’s positive news.

Just wondering if any has had this, went from low fertility (the circle on CB OPK) yesterday straight to peak solid smiley today with no flashing? Hoping we haven’t missed the boat.

I’ve been talking to the February egg in an encouraging voice for about a week now so I think I’ve fully lost the plot.

Third period after my still birth. Sorry for the TMI but this bleeding is non stop!!! I've went through four night time pads today... no clots though. My last two were light. I really don't understand.
Anyone advise me from my FLO app when to start trying. I seem to do usually DTD every day until the last week but then my DH gets tired when it comes to ovulation week because we've DTD every night lol so never know when is best. Might try OPK this time around but not sure what else I could do differently.

@BS9790 was that AF since MC? Ovulation stick wise I used PreMom where you scan it into the app and it gives you a reading. I'm a bit of a novice with OPK so maybe this is something they all do, but I can actually recommend this one. And they are way cheaper than Clear Blue! I got pregnant straight away with those.

@BS9790 was that AF since MC? Ovulation stick wise I used PreMom where you scan it into the app and it gives you a reading. I'm a bit of a novice with OPK so maybe this is something they all do, but I can actually recommend this one. And they are way cheaper than Clear Blue! I got pregnant straight away with those.

I'm officially joining this thread now, AF has arrived on CD25. My cycles were 33 days before MC, and based on opks Im only 10dpo so wasn't expecting it yet.

Bring on February! Is anyone trying anything in particular this time?
In going to try the clear blue digital ovulation sticks in this next cycle as I didn't really get on with the little strip things x

@Jonathancreek I'm so sorry you miscarried your twins. Mine were 16 weeks and I gave birth to them after a MMC on 27th September. Tomorrow would have been the last possible date on which they could have been born. They were MCMA, going to be born by elective c section at 34 weeks and died from complications of the MCMA.

It takes time to heal. Good luck xx

@GoldenBauble your sad little Christmas tree story made me smile. It's funny the things that stick in our minds. And utterly bizarre that life just goes on around us when it feels like our own life is falling apart.

@StephyRose your scan is lovely, what a bitter sweet memory to hold on. Hopefully in time when it feels less raw, it will just be a nice memory for you.

I miscarried twins in September at 11 weeks. I'm desperately hoping that this will be our month. I feel such waves of sadness every week I get closer to what would have been their due date. Wishing everyone good luck in their journey recovering & conceiving.

@GoldenBauble definitely not just you! I’ve built up these ridiculous superstitions about the mc and I know they make no sense but I can’t help making all these associations.

With keeping stuff or not, maybe it’s too early to decide though, when (positive vibes!) you get that bfp and this is all a distant memory you might want to remember more than you do now.

Sending everyone strength to battle through another month of TTC and the TWW.

Let's do this xxxxxxx

@GoldenBauble you poor thing, that doc sounds terrible and so insensitive. You would think it’s human nature to have empathy and not act like a doughnut (great description!!) and especially in that profession but unfortunately sometimes they are terrible..maybe it’s compassion fatigue. I’m a vet and know it’s def a big problem in our profession and the doctor who spoke to me after the ERPC was showing all the signs of this when she spoke to me after the procedure..she had a severe lack of compassion which really upset me at the time but when I think back on it now she looked so drained and exhausted it must have been that. Sometimes they are just plain doughnuts though!

@StephyRose I am so sorry you have had a CP on top of everything. The world can be really cruel😔 It sounds good now that the GP is proactively looking into it.

I’ve been toying with the idea of insisting on trying to find a reason before ttc again but I think the waiting for those tests would stress me as I’m turning 37 this year and this would be our first. I’d love to have more than 1 so I’m keen to ttc again ASAP. Also I was told at time of ERPC I had a fibroid but they never gave any details about fibroid location or size. I was told to get a scan in 6 weeks if I wanted to look into it further but I don’t know if focusing on that would be beneficial as I know also plenty of ppl with fibroids have no problems with pregnancy and the risk of surgery for the fibroid seems to outweigh the risk of MC. In an ideal world I’d reverse a few years and I wouldn’t be stressed about my age on top of it all and another couple months wait wouldn’t seem to take up such a large chunk of time.
DH and I always wanted to be financially stable with our own house before TTC but now I wish we maybe hadn’t waited so long. I remember in my late 20s thinking friends who were having babies were just mad and now I can’t help be jealous that they had their s**t so together whilst I was blowing all my savings on god knows what!

@stephyrose oh and I get what you mean about them being very clinical and not reassuring. The GP I saw after our private scan was (in my husbands words) a complete doughnut. Despite me explaining really clearly what had just happened he kept saying 'I don't understand' until I had to eventually just read the note I'd been sent with which said the words 'early demise' and I felt sick but he then understood.

All he was then bothered about was whether we'd seen the image in 4D as the letter header stated something about 4D baby scanning! I knew what I wanted to say to him but I was very polite. The only reassurances he could offer was that miscarriage is really common and to just crack on trying again. I'd literally found out 30minutes before that our baby had died! I look back now and laugh slightly in disbelief at how insensitive he was about the whole thing.

The GP I saw more recently was actually better. He didn't really say much but listened to me waffle for 5minutes about why I wanted him to refer me to the consultant and he just quickly agreed and sent me on my way.

Thanks all for reassuring me it's not just me!

@newmum2020 hah yes you're right we might all be strange but I think when you've been in the situation yourself you get it! Other people might not. Fingers crossed the late af is a positive sign for you! My cycle also seems to have gone back fairly quick. I've had one period 4.5 weeks post surgery and I'm pretty sure Ive ovulated on either cd 15 or 16 which is right for me but I am half expecting my cycles to be a bit all over the place for a while.

@Annie0425 throwing it out isn't a bad idea actually. I don't think I'll ever want to wear it again and it just holds bad memories so maybe I'm better to just get rid. I also ordered a shed load of pregnancy vitamins to last me the rest of the 9months just before we found out. At the same time I ordered stretch mark cream 😳 I wanted to prepare and start using it early to try and avoid stretch marks if I could (all seems to insignificant now and I'd rather have a 100 stretch marks from a healthy pregnancy). I can remember thinking at the time it was all a bit premature but as we'd had one scan already I assumed all would be well as I hadn't had any bleeding or pain (oh the naivety!)

@michette I think I kind of feel the same. Like I don't really want to look at them as it just makes me sad but at the same time it was part of us that we'll never be able to forget and I feel strangely attached to them. As if binning them is erasing the memory of it all and it feels a little odd.

@cinderrose ahh I remember the Christmas songs playing and everything seeming so cheery and Christmassy. When you're feeling as far from Christmassy and cheerful as you could possibly be. Although I also remember looking out the window of my room following the surgery and there was one pitiful Christmas tree that had been blown over in the wind and the Christmas decs were all wafting around. It did make me smile as I remember thinking it looked more sorry for itself than me! 😂

@stephyrose that sounds really positive about your GP appointment. I have the same mindset that if there is something which can be 'fixed' I want to know now before I try again. Hopefully you will get some answers (or not as hopefully there isn't anything and we've just been incredibly unlucky on this occasion). You might also find you feel a bit better now you're being proactive and doing something. I LOVE being in control of situations and start to freak a bit when I'm not so I find doing anything which makes me feel more in control of a situation really helps.
Thank you for sharing your scan photo 💛. I have mine too from when I was almost 7 weeks. I never collected the photo from my scan at almost 10 weeks when we found out. It was a 3D scan and I remember the image of a tiny baby being so clear. Part of me wishes I had it because it's mine but the other part of me thinks it's just too heartbreaking and I don't want to see that image again.

Anyway I think that's officially my longest post ever on mumsnet! Good luck to all of you who are testing soon. Stay positive those going into your fertile weeks. I'll be with you soon 😄.

@stephyRose the poem is beautiful ❤️