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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

I'm to scared to test

37 replies

PurpleEllie · 07/01/2020 20:24

Have been ttc for 18 months and now AF is a day late. I had what may have been implantation bleeding at 6/7 dpo. (I mever spot between periods) I've had so many BFN's over the past 18months, I can't bear to see another one! So now I'm sat here torturing myself with the possibility that I may be pregnant....its like shroedingers (sp?) pregnancy.

I don't know what I'm posting for, someone talk some sense in to me please?

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June705 · 10/01/2020 11:23

Sorry if this is way off the mark but is Ivf not an option for you both? Sounds as though you'd be an ideal candidate x

MallonMary · 10/01/2020 11:13

@purplellie sorry :( I know how horrid it is. On to next cycle. You'll get there! X

Engard · 10/01/2020 10:05

Oh 😞 I've just seen that you've got your period.
Don't get disheartened! You're going to get there.

Engard · 10/01/2020 09:59

Don't test if you don't want to. Your body will let you know either way soon enough.
Good luck, I hope this is your month ❤️

aNonnyMouse1511 · 10/01/2020 09:44

I’m sorry Sad

Original poster
PurpleEllie · 10/01/2020 09:36

AF in full flow. Maybe next February will be my month. Thank you for your support x

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aNonnyMouse1511 · 10/01/2020 08:11

How is it this morning? Xx

aNonnyMouse1511 · 09/01/2020 18:55

Could be implantation? I don’t know doll xx

Original poster
PurpleEllie · 09/01/2020 18:53

I went to do another test and it looks like AF has arrived. Not full on, but it was pink when I wiped. I hate this rolllercoaster.

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aNonnyMouse1511 · 09/01/2020 18:15

Yes I can definitely see it.

Try a first response. Much clearer.

Hopefullmamaxx · 09/01/2020 18:04

@PurpleEllie very faint but I see it!

I'm to scared to test
Original poster
PurpleEllie · 09/01/2020 18:01

@Hopefullmamaxx where???! I'm squinting so hard right now. I'll do another one and put a pic up!

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Hopefullmamaxx · 09/01/2020 17:42

@@@purpleEllie I 1000% see a line x

Original poster
PurpleEllie · 09/01/2020 17:22

@aNonnyMouse1511 do you really think so? It looks definitely negative to me. Can't be an evap, I set the timer and took a pic when it went off.

@MallonMary, thank you, I really hope this is the year we all get our much wanted bfp.

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aNonnyMouse1511 · 09/01/2020 11:09

I do see a very faint line on there? Maybe it’s an evap. I’m really sorry.

I find that odd of your acquaintance! Who posts pictures like that on social media?! Xx

MallonMary · 09/01/2020 08:21

@purplellie so sorry. I feel the exact same- so fed up of all the bfn. Really hope it's your time soon!

Original poster
PurpleEllie · 09/01/2020 06:42

Not even a hint of a line. I tried to distract myself while waiting, by looking at Facebook. The very first thing on my feed was a close up picture of an acquaintances positive pregnancy test. I'm happy for her, but I feel like those posts should almost come with a trigger warning :(

I'm to scared to test
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aNonnyMouse1511 · 08/01/2020 10:08

Ah bless him. That’s so supportive Grin wishing you lots of baby dust xx

Original poster
PurpleEllie · 08/01/2020 09:25

@aNonnyMouse1511, dh says to give it a couple more days, then I can give him a urine sample and he will do the test for me.

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Original poster
PurpleEllie · 08/01/2020 09:22

@MallonMary, the semen analysis came back with above average for sperm count and morphology, but only 10 % progressive motility - I think 30% is needed? But at the end of the day only one swimmer has to make it through , so it could be the 10%? What supplements are you using? I heard high dose vit c helps improve motility and morphology, so DH has been taking huge doses.

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aNonnyMouse1511 · 08/01/2020 09:20

@purpleellie you don’t sound unhinged. I totally understand. Ttc can be a very devastating process and we all must do whatever we can to protect ourselves mentally. And if for you that means not tearing, then so be it.

However. How long will you wait with no AF before you test?

Original poster
PurpleEllie · 08/01/2020 09:16

@aNonnyMouse1511, I know I probably sound utterly unhinged, but I've got it into my head that if I don't test and AF just shows up, then somehow I haven't "failed" this month, its just my body doing as nature intended. But if I do a test and it's negative, its 'proof" of my failing to get pregnant. I'm fully aware if how insane I sound right now. 18 months of ttc has messed with my head. I'll be ok if AF shows up, I just cannot bear to see another negative test.

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MallonMary · 08/01/2020 09:13

@purplellie Finding it really hard too, especially when lots of friends and family members are announcing their bfp, im 32 so it's happening more often now.

Had some initial tests and I'm good to go but dh also has slow swimmers and 0% morphology. We found that out about 5 weeks ago and he's been taking supplements since to hopefully improve.

Has your oh had one sperm analysis or more? What were his results on motility? My dh was fast- 6% slow- 12% and non progressive- 10%. Sperm count was ok at 97 million.

X

aNonnyMouse1511 · 08/01/2020 09:08

@purpleellie that doesn’t mean negative. It just means you aren’t ovulating. I had the worst period pains when I was pregnant. I thought I was miscarrying. So that really doesn’t mean anything. I really think you should test and put yourself out of your worrying xx

Original poster
PurpleEllie · 08/01/2020 09:05

@MallonMary, 13 months, its so awful going through this each month. How are you coping? I'm emotionally exhausted, and it's hard for our relationship to not feel the strain. I'm fertile and "good to go" according to all the tests the drs have done. The issue lies with DH, he had a vasectomy reversal almost 2 years ago - his sperm count is good but swimming slow. He's done absolutely everything he can do increase motility. At some point we may just have to give up

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