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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Anyone TTC second baby?

264 replies

Lnix · 04/01/2020 22:07

Hey! Just looking for some folks in a similar position to start a chat with.

I'm 34 and have been trying for a second child for 6 months. With my first, I didn't realise how lucky we were when we got pregnant in the first cycle with no real trying. I was 30 at the time. Our daughter has just turned 4.

This time, I tried the relaxed approach for a couple of months to start with and then resorted to opks and an app to give some guidance as to when would be a good time to try.

Anyway, after trying for 6 months with no joy, I'm beginning to feel a bit anxious. I can't stop wondering if there's a problem and can't stop googling!!

Please join if you're in a similar position and wanting to chat! X

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Nimsay1 · 09/01/2020 21:14

@Lnix thank you! I've had about 3 sessions of acupuncture this time around, over the last 6 weeks. I love it and would really recommend it. I find it very hard to switch off normally but I always doze off in sessions and feel calmer afterwards. I did it last time we were trying and I think it did help me conceive. It's one of those things that you'll never know if it's really helped and you'll never understand how it's working so you just have to put your faith in it.

Original poster
Lnix · 09/01/2020 21:10

@Nimsay1 happy birthday for tomorrow!! Aw well you never know! Hope you get positive result in next couple of days! Have you been going to the accu for long? I'm thinking of trying it. My friend did it and loved it!

@meekatmummy aw that's so disappointing 😭 I know exactly what you mean...I said this to my husband recently, don't know if can keep going and putting myself in the firing line for this level of disappointment month after month. It's just such a horrible feeling. Hope you can look after yourself the next couple of days and take it easy. My friend says to me - now you're one AF closer to getting pregnant. Guess that's one way to look at it!! I'm CD 7 so was feeling like you at the weekend. Gearing up for trying again...couldn't feel less like it to be honest!! 🤯

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meerkatmummy · 09/01/2020 20:57

@Lnix af showed up around midday... right on cue! I don't know how much longer I can keep trying and not being successful. It's really starting to get me down and it's affecting my relation with my partner 😩. Where are you in your cycle? Xx

Nimsay1 · 09/01/2020 20:56

Hi, I'm 37 tomorrow (argh!!) and TTC baby number 2. We have a little boy who is 2 next week, he was born after 4 miscarriages and then treatment for high NK cells. We're on month 9 of trying now, I'm 11 DPO. My acupuncturist thinks I'm pregnant but tested this morning and evening and BFN so I'm losing hope.

Sending lots of luck to everyone!

Original poster
Lnix · 09/01/2020 20:30

@HopefulHarry aw no that sounds really stressful! Hope you guys can work it out. It is definitely a very emotional time and can make us think and say all sorts of things. X

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Original poster
Lnix · 09/01/2020 20:28

@meerkatmummy...you can def get false negatives so you may not be out! How are you feeling symptoms wise? Also are you usually regular/sure of ov date?

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meerkatmummy · 09/01/2020 08:01

@Lnix about the same time then! I'm due af today but no signs. BFN on a frer yesterday so I'm pretty sure I'm out. It would have shown at least a very faint at 12dpo right?

HopefulHarry · 08/01/2020 20:14

I'm nearly 38 and have been ttc any number 2 for 9 months. To be honest it feels like it is driving my partner and I to breaking point almost to the point where resent my partner and feel like it is best we both go our separate ways.

Original poster
Lnix · 08/01/2020 18:50

@meerkatmummy 6 months 🙄 told myself it would probably take longer than with my dd but think deep down I expected a quicker result. Didn't feel good reaching the 6 month mark recently. I know plenty of people try way longer though, so trying to keep my head up. I'm usually a sad and gloomy blob when AF comes but ok the rest of the month. I know what you mean...we all have fixed ideas about how we want it to be. It's hard feeling not in control of it all. My dd has just turned 4. I wasn't set on a small age gap so not too worried about that but I had def hoped to at least be pregnant by now. You might still get your small age gap, 3 months is 3 good goes at it! And even then the age gap won't be massive. Wishing you all the good things! X

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meerkatmummy · 08/01/2020 18:35

@Lnix I'm just so impatient! Plus, the more time that passes, the bigger the age gap will be between new baby and my son, which isn't what we wanted! I'd like no more than 2 years, which means I have 3 months to conceive! How long have you been trying? X

Original poster
Lnix · 08/01/2020 18:00

Hi @anithop sorry to hear you're having a bad time at the mo. Totally understandable, AF arriving is such a blow. It's emotional at the best of times, never mind when ttc! My dd is 4 and we put it off for job reasons...I didn't have one and had to do applications during mat leave 💩 then wanted to concentrate on establishing myself a bit. Also had a traumatic birth experience so putting it off for job reasons didn't bother me. Now, however, I'm feeling desperate for another! Hope you can get yourself out of the AF gloom and get stuck into the fitness 🙌 I've read in lots of places recently that regular exercise and fitness can help with ovulation and egg quality. Heading to the gym now myself 😅 @Needallthesleep where did you get the tests done? Did your GP refer you to the private clinic? I feel like I want to put my mind at ease also but unsure of where we might go to do that. @Meerkatmummy (Hi, welcome!) I feel the same...thinking my dd conception was a fluke and worrying something is wrong. My GP friend always quotes me the happy statistics that most people conceive within a year and the rest within 2 years (She is ttc too). I feel if she is just being patient as a GP and not worrying madly about things being wrong, I should probs chill and be patient also!

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meerkatmummy · 08/01/2020 14:57

Hi all! Can I join? I'm 33 and ttc#2. We're in cycle 7 now, took 18m to conceive DS who was 1 last month (don't want a big age gap which is why we started trying so soon). I'm worried something is wrong and it was a fluke that we eventually managed to catch after so long with 1st baby and it's not going to happen again 😩

Needallthesleep · 08/01/2020 13:53

Hey @Antihop, sorry to hear about AF arrival. It’s always a tough day isn’t it. We are in a similar boat that I’ve had to leave it all a bit later due to job moves (I’m actually TTC while still on probation - risky!). Have you had a fertility check at all? Before we TTC the first I had a scan to check for egg reserves (privately) which put my mind at rest. My mum had my sister at 44 which makes me feel a bit better that I’m TTC over 35! Do you know when your mum had the menopause? I hear it’s likely if she had it late you have less to worry about.

Antihop · 08/01/2020 09:50

@MrsMyreton I'm going to focus on improving health and fitness too. Went to yoga last night and the first time in months.

Antihop · 08/01/2020 09:48

Hi everyone
Feeling pretty depressed and angry this morning. Period arrived last night. It was a bit earlier than expected and I was holding put hope it might be an implantation bleed, but it definitely is period.

Here's my story. I'm 42. Dd is 5 and was conceived on second cycle. Due to financial issues, job issues and moving house, we weren't in a position to try for another until recently.

In autumn 2018 we moved to a house, so in a better financial position to try (we would never had got a big enough mortgage offer if we'd had 2 pre school kids). I moved jobs to be nearer my new house. We were planning to ttc once I'd passed my probation. But my new job turned out to be a nightmare and I couldn't stay. Which meant I had to put off ttc until I'd found a new job and passed probation. Which is really frustrating as at my age time is not on my side. I feel so resentful for having to leave that job.

Anyway I came off the pill in October. I knew this month would be unlikely to conceive as we were staying with in laws during what I expected to be my fertile window.

I'm also trying to lose weight as I'm overweight. But I'm feeling so depressed about getting my period and desperate to comfort eat.

Original poster
Lnix · 07/01/2020 22:37

Hi @MrsMyreton and welcome! Ugh how annoying still waiting for it to come. I think we've all started out with that "I'm not going to worry" approach but inevitably get caught up in wanting it so badly when it doesn't happen immediately! I wish I a crystal ball...wouldn't mind waiting a few more months of I knew it would work out in the end!

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MrsMyreton · 07/01/2020 21:59

Hi OP, similar here.

I have an almost three year old (conceived on first cycle) and I've just turned thirty. After DD was born I had heavy periods so was on low oestrogen pill which meant I had a light period every three months (it was fantastic!). Came off the pill at end of November... got excited when period didn't arrive at Christmas. Tested (several times Blush) but disappointingly not pregnant. And still no period so feeling absolutely lousy, despite promising myself I would just 'let it happen without worrying'!

Now focusing all my attention on improving my health and fitness so, fingers crossed, if we're lucky enough, I'll be in good shape for baby #2.

Thanks good luck to everyone

Original poster
Lnix · 07/01/2020 21:26

@skybooks @Needallthesleep @MrsHP2018 Hi guys, sorry was MIA last night. Back at work after the holidays (primary teacher) and it has hit me hard! 🤣 Anyway @skybooks sounds like a very good attitude! I'm generally ok but can't help feeling really down for a couple of days when AF appears. It's always disappointing even when PMS has given plenty of warning. I'm CD 5 today so thinking about getting started again in the next few days...ever hopeful it'll be the month! Really can't be bothered starting opks again, such a faff. @Needallthesleep hi! Welcome! Hope your ds had a great 2nd birthday!

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MrsHP2018 · 06/01/2020 22:10

@needallthesleep I went through something very similar when we first started trying in that I thrilled when my AF came back so soon after stopping the depo injection and then sobbing when it kept coming. Although I am still finding the waiting time hard each month and have days when I want to break down, I've tried hard to look at what is amazing already in my life and focus on that each time AF knocks me down. We also set ourselves a time in which if we haven't conceived we would seek help and that's what I'm focusing on as well but in a positive way if that makes sense. It's such a roller-coaster though isn't it!

Needallthesleep · 06/01/2020 22:04

Hi, I’ll join the 34 year olds (just turned 35 but I can still pretend?!) TTC #2. I’m cycle 3, going a bit crazy if I’m honest, getting really down and crying at work when AF arrives. My DD is 2 (tomorrow!).

My DH isn’t desperate for another so wouldn’t go down the route of fertility testing. I’m wondering whether my c section will have impacted my fertility.

Skybooks · 06/01/2020 21:45

How are you?

Skybooks · 06/01/2020 21:45

I'm in a good head space this month, really enjoying DS and trying not to focus on him asking this morning why he isn't a brother!

Original poster
Lnix · 06/01/2020 19:31

How is everyone doing?

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Original poster
Lnix · 04/01/2020 23:21

MrsHP - that's great sounds like you're on track to get things settled. Fingers crossed for you after using the opk!

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Original poster
Lnix · 04/01/2020 23:17

Bookishtartlet - sounds like we are similar position - 34 year olds with easily conceived 4 year olds 😂 I must look into the Ovia app. I downloaded it but was a bit turned off by the incessant emails it sent me. Don't invest more effort unless you feel you need to...it's a slippery slope! I'm a bit obsessed with opks now, which is irritating, especially when you feel like you have got the timing exactly right and still don't be pregnant! Too much room for worry then!

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