TTC after loss penguins get fit & healthy in 2020

@Avocuddles Yep, I get what you mean. I guess no other choice now than to wait a couple of days, test again and hopefully injenctions from next week then. In the meantime focus on being good, at least it's a good distraction! Xxx

@MrsMGE I hope you're right! I'm not classing the super faint line as a BFP yet. Maybe come Sunday or Monday I might, all being well. I don't have the option of denying it for too long though if things do work out as I'll need to get back on the enoxaparin injections ASAP. In the meantime I'm going to keep going with the healthy eating and stay focused on that. I think a part of me is more scared of a BFP than a false alarm but I'll cross that bridge next week. And hopefully there will be many many rainbows here before the year is through!

@BunnytheBlueWhale sorry you're feeling tense, I hope you manage to relax tomorrow x

Hey, @BunnytheBlueWhale, what's up?

Also, it's the second BFP in 2 weeks since we've started our healthy thread... it might be coincidence, but I'd like to think this is how it's going to go for all of us on here! Sign of things to come??? Just saying! 🌈🤞

On that note, @LASandOtto miss you girl, hope you're keeping well xxx

@MissSparkles81 I'm just about to have a shower and get in my pjs too...I REALLY fancy a wild one at some point though, we're talking Ministry of Sound here!

Meanwhile... VS joggers or Matalan lounge pants... #lifechoices #whatislife 😂🤦🏼‍♀️

@MrsMGE oh I hear you ... I wish I could back sometimes to my party animal days. Right now im in my pjs contemplating going to bed 🤣🤣

@Avocuddles eeeeee!! Off to see your post on the other thread ❤

Oooh @Avocuddles fingers crossed, lovely! I hope this is it for you ❤️ xxx

@MissSparkles81 have ended up skipping band practice as have had a bit of shock. I've gone into more detail on the other thread but have a potential very faint line on a FRER. I've been feeling all over the place over the past couple of days. It's far far too early to tell but I'll keep you posted in a few days. If it turns out to be a false alarm then on Monday I get to ring the fertility clinic to book in my ovulation induction scan so trying to feel positive either way.....

Omg @MissSparkles81 I'd LOVE this kind of a class!

I sometimes feel that I still have this party girl in me, you know. But when you hit your 30s, no one wants to go clubbing anymore, either because of kids or they're too tired or saving up etc.! (I say they...I'm one of "them" too! 🤦🏼‍♀️)

Do you sometimes feel like you'd love to let loose and go on a wild one, dance till the early hours and then walk around the city laughing, kissing and having fun...?

Now, this brings me back to my university days... 😊 Oh, the good memories 😊 xxx

@Avocuddles god that does sound stressful! Hope you get a chance to relax a bit when you get home from practise x

Thanks ladies ... I know the gain is prob due to AF but tell that to my bleeding hormones 🤪

I would like to say today was better but I had my back to work meeting with my manager and broke down again. She is lovely tho which made everything that little bit easier to talk about.

I watched the news last night and like @MrsMGE I have some form of ptsd too. Its horrific that in this day and age that we are not being supported properly and being given the right information.

For thos who were asking about Clubbercise ... its pretty much dancing along to dance music in the dark with glowsticks. I love it and its such a good calorie burner too!

Im off tomorrow so planning a quiet day in the house making a bit batch of homemade soup to get me through the next few days.

@SunStruck @MrsMGE I don't abstain during the first half of my cycle, i love my wine too much! I'm not a binge drinker, but DH and I enjoying sharing some wine at home on a Friday and Saturday night or if we're out for a meal. If I was knowingly on a 2WW (not a common occurance for me but hopefully it will be soon once I start my meds) then I would keep it minimal but wouldn't stop myself from having a glass if I really felt like it. I'm doing dry January at the moment, it's probably the longest I've been without a drink other than when I've been pregnant (where I stopped completely as soon as I had a BFP). I kind of wish I didn't enjoy wine (and gin) so much but I'm sure it's doing me good. If i'm not on meds by then I am very much looking forward to a nice glass of something come Feb 1st though!

Glad you're feeling a bit better today @MrsMGE.

@VenusStarr and @SunStruck well done on the weight loss, that's great! Tomorrow is my weighing day though not feeling that optimistic after the weekend's indulgences!

@BunnytheBlueWhale how are you feeling after the root canal?

@MissSparkles81 I've never tried clubbercise but have seen a class advertised locally so might have to give it a go.

I'm feeling shattered after a rather full on day at work - I've effectively been covering five jobs due to absences, illnesses and colleagues working away so it's probably not a surprise I feel drained! Wish I had a restful evening ahead but I have band practice tonight - I play in a concert band which is fun but sometimes of a Thursday evening I do wish I could skive off for a night in front of the tv.....

Well done everyone for keeping going 👏 it's hard but we're all seeing results 😊 I've just checked my bmi - it's 26.8 today, down from 28.8 at my slimming world start weight. Feeling good about that.

@SunStruck I too lost 3.3lbs (net after my long weekend. It was 4lbs before that, but let's forget about that bit

I drink, tbh. Before TWW and during TWW, however I must say I'm not a big drinker generally. I only ever get drunk before Christmas (if at all) and drink regularly on holiday. During the year, I enjoy an occasional gin or spritz, but I'd have one ir two a fortnight if I go out with DH or one of my girlfriends and that's it. So I kind of came to my senses and decided that cutting all of it out is ridiculous!

Having said that, I only had one gin this year because of my health mission (too many calories in alcohol, I'd rather use them on food which I like a lot more 😂).

You've inspired me to make a healthy stew in my slow cooker soon!

@BunnytheBlueWhale I'm better today, thanks for asking. Glad today is brighter for you as well. I find pulling it all back to basics when things get tough actually helps, I tell myself that "life goes on, focus on taking small positive steps, be good to yourself because it will help you out long term." I still feel better than I felt in months, despite few difficult hours/days, so this is definitely working for me.

Well done to all of you who still did something good for yourselves despite not feeling great - I know it's not easy, but it's the right thing to do and an investment into a happier future. Xxx

@MrsMGE That is so lovely from your secretary!!! Really nice. How are you feeling today? ❤️ well done on your HIIT sessions, already back in the saddle 😄

@avocuddles sorry you had a rough day, but at least ended it on a positive note! Well done for making the class. I am a massive foodie (and I love my wine), is he clinically depressed if I'd go teetotal the entire time we're ttc! Obviously I've thought that maybe this is why we have miscarriages, maybe the wine has ruined my eggs?! I didn't drink during TWW that first time I got pregnant (but ended in mmc), I did drink during TWW the second time we got pregnant (early miscarriage). I also feel guilty but I guess this shows it doesn't matter what you do. I've never drank a drop after a positive test.

Do all the other ladies in this thread abstain when TTC? Or maybe just in TWW?

On a lighter note... Today is our Friday (I live abroad, Fri-Sat is our weekend), and I've been to the gym 4 times this week 💪 I weigh myself this morning and have lost 3.3 pounds since NYE which is good going for me as I've not trained as hard (especially now in TWW) and not been dieting, just trying to eat healthy during the weeks. The slow cooker is a great investment ladies! 😂👌

Oh and I also found out I got a pay rise today, with immediate affect - Well needed in January! 😃

Any weekend plans for you ladies?

And the final thought re the BBC article (I haven't heard it on the radio, but read the online article).

I most definitely had a form of PTSD after my MMC due to the lack of care from professionals, incomplete advice, delays, no knowledge of what to expect, being forced to go with medical management which wasn't my preference, traumatic delivery, no aftercare, the loss itself and grief. That's a lot to go through in a short space of time and being dismissed because I was "only" 10 weeks and "it's common" did not help at all. Reading about some other negative experience on MN and elsewhere makes my skin crawl. It's like we're stuck in the dark ages when it comes to miscarriage, it should be obvious that different care and approach are necessary, but somehow it's not "because we're women and we ought to get on with this". Just because we (eventually) can doesn't mean we should.

I'm glad this topic is now discussed quite regularly in the press, it's needed. Bravo to Tommy's for all their hard work, too. Nothing is going to change anytime soon, but at least we're all breaking the silence and that's the first step to making improvements imo. Xxx

@BunnytheBlueWhale I've been thinking about your earlier post re your DH appearing not to want IVF. Do you think this might be because he's scared or doesn't want to admit that it might be needed? After all, you got pg naturally twice, you're both fertile and you're still at your 'peak', as in you're a young woman and there's every chance everything will end up fine without the need for IVF. Maybe it's a difficult topic for him because he's somehow feeling guilty? That he can't "give" you a child and you'd have to resort to IVF? Maybe he's thinking it might be his age as he's older, especially that he already has children (but presumably had them when he was a bit younger)? Even though obviously that's not the case. I obviously don't know and I'm not sure I'm expressing myself well right now, but personally, I felt very much against IVF for a long time, even though I'd love to have a baby. I don't want to accept that it might be needed because I'm not infertile and got pg quickly before, and I'm finding the whole concept very difficult, actually. I'm working on myself now to accept that I might be in this game long term and that IVF might be an option, but I'm not finding this easy at all. My DH has no issue with it whatsoever, on the other hand. Perhaps your DH thinks more alongside where I am, though? Xxx

It sounds like we've all had a tough day, ladies. Sorry, I've clearly started the domino effect!

Well, I watched a bit of Miranda and did a really hard 20-min HIIT, and I feel a lot better.

@MissSparkles81 You've gained before AF, 100%. Definitely water retention, weigh yourself again in a week's time and guaranteed you'll see the difference. Well done on your clubbercise, sounds right up my street! What kind of music do you exercise to?

@Avocuddles I'm sorry you had a tough day too, completely understandable why you had a sob session earlier. Probably needed, too. Really glad to hear that you've released the negative energy by going to Zumba. How was it? Is yours just as dance-y as mine?

Let's not lose our focus, ladies. We've been looking after ourselves and overall, itvis having a big positive impact, which is so needed. Today was bad for most of us, but we're on the right track and let's keep going, together! You're all doing great ❤️🙌🙏 xxx

@Avocuddles big hugs to you lovely. Well done for going to Zumba. I was the same last night and went to clubbercise and I did feel better for it. I used to do body combat years ago and loved it too.

Evening all @seahawk80 I am so sorry to hear your news. Hope your doing as ok as you can be.

Ive had a shit day ... woke up this morning and decided to have a sneaky weigh in which showed a 1.5lb gain, then AF arrived. We then had to treck across the country to see my bf's lawyer to start court proceedings about him getting better access to his son. On the way home the EPU phoned me for a "follow up" which I am guessing is because of the complaint I made (I didn't answer) got home to a part on the news about ptsd and mc and then my best friend messages to ask how being back at work is!!

Seriously?? Im f***g surrounded by kids and pregnant women all day ... im bluddy grand!

Stomach is killing me Im holding back the tears and cant face work tomorrow 😔

Sorry for the huge rant but just feel like exploding 🥵

@MrsMGE I'm sorry you're finding this week tough. That was very kind of your secretary, it must be a comfort to have some support at work. I'm think everyone here has bad days and there's nothing wrong with that every now and again, but I'm glad you're finding them rare these days. Don't feel like a failure for putting on weight. I for one find food (and wine) one of the biggest pleasures in life and when you're going through a tough or sad time dieting is quite frankly the bottom of the priority list. You're not a failure, you're a brave woman, just like all of us here.

@Seahawk80 really don't beat yourself up over alcohol. I discussed it at length with a kind GP a while back - our TTC journey has been going on for a long time and the thought of having to hold off the wine month after month without ever getting a positive result was one of many things getting me down. Her view was to try not to stress too much until you get a BFP - maybe don't go out on a bender night and night if you think pregnancy is a possibility but don't feel guilty about the odd night out or glass of wine. As she (and others on this thread have) pointed out there are many people of who fall pregnant without planning it who do all of the 'wrong' things but still have a strong and healthy pregnancy. Don't beat yourself up over it; I had had a big night out a week before my first BFP and when I expressed concern that this might have led to my loss it was reiterated to me that when a pregnancy fails at an early stage it's sadly most likely due to a chromosomal issue, and certainly not due to a few cocktails.

@Shefliesonherownwings WW beans sound yummy, might have to give them a try this weekend. I'm glad you're finding the counselling helpful but hope that the tears subside soon - you have nothing to feel guilty about, but the fact that you do is just a natural response to how much you cared for your beautiful daughter.

@BunnytheBlueWhale I had a hotel chocolat stash that I've hidden in the back of the cupboard with an 'out of sight out of mind' strategy. I'm sure the next time AF arrives I'll be wolfing it down in one go. How did the run go?

It's been a day of ups and downs for me. I started the day with the work mindfulness class which today was an exercise focused on being kind to yourself - something that everyone here would probably benefit from! One of the mantras the leader recited repeatedly what 'I deserve to be happy'. This is definitely something we should remind ourselves more often. Happy might not look exactly as we hope at this point in time, but we still deserve some in our lives.
The day went somewhat downhill from there. I missed an appointment due to shocking traffic, this put me on edge so when I turned on Facebook and was confronted with a bunch of photos of the beautiful baby who was born last week within days of my due date I felt very low and the tears were flowing when my DH walked through the door. With his encouragement though I dragged myself along to my first Zumba class in years. This was nearly a disaster as the class was full but the receptionist clearly saw I was about to tip over the edge and let me in. It was actually really good and I left feeling a lot better. I have never been an exercise fan but the rush of endorphins this evening has made me keen to get back to exercise classes a couple of times a week. I'm thinking of doing a body combat class on Sunday as used to enjoy it a few years ago and might even be able to persuade DH to join me!