TTC after loss penguins get fit & healthy in 2020

@tortiecat I think healthy assertiveness (firm, but non-agressive) is always good. Look at us - we're women who lost our babies, we got together because we were seeking support and togetherness. However, look how many topics we have discussed on this thread. Children aren't the only topic of discussion, even in circumstances as hard as ours. We're still interesting women, we have millions of other things to talk about. So does your friend. If she's desperate to talk pregnancy and babies, she has other circles to talk about it, such as mums from nursery/school/playgroups etc. That's far more appropriate for the time being and there's nothing wrong with that and not much to ask for. It's called compassion and friendship, you deserve this ❤️ xxx

@Shefliesonherownwings what a tough week for you and DH. No parents should have to go through this, it's not difficult to understand that you want this sorted and that you don't want to have to go back to mat unit where you lost Isla - hope it all gets sorted soon.

Well done on having your PT sess!! Don't be hard on yourself when it comes to cleanint the house, just do little bits that you can manage today if you're hobbling about with DOMS! & enjoy your lunch, you deserve it xx

@MrsMGE @BunnytheBlueWhale thank you both for your support. I was worried that I was being unkind by not being supportive of how things are for her, but boosted by what you have said I will certainly say something if it gets too much. I have been speaking to my counsellor about all the more direct and insensitive comments I have had since I lost my son, I tend to just smile politely but feel hurt underneath and tell myself I am too sensitive, I need to be a bit more assertive I think.

I did decline an invite to her third baby shower (!) recently - I just can't cope with that.

@BunnytheBlueWhale woohoo! Good for you both - never thought I would be encouraging strangers on the internet to have sex

In other news I have just weighed myself and lost a further 2lb, even after a shit week at work so I am proud of myself x

Morning all. Looks like it was a hard week for a lot of us last week. I think January in general sucks but when we are all going through this stuff, it seems even worse.

We've had a tough week battling with the hospital over getting my notes, trying to move our consultant appointment forward and to another venue as they want us to go to the maternity unit! It's all arguments we shouldn't have to have. DH is doing the bulk of it but it's hard on him.

He's has gone to the football today so I'm on my own but my house needs a good clean. I've become such a slob since we lost Isla, I would love a cleaner but I don't think we can justify it as our house isn't that big. I had my first proper session with my PT yesterday and my God I'm aching today. My abs and thighs are on fire! I did lose a pound which I'm pleased about and I think the tummy is shrinking. I'm going for lunch with MIL and SIL which should be nice but other than that no plans this weekend.

I see @BunnytheBlueWhale. Well, enjoy today, next thing you can do something else that will also be good for you 😊 and fingers crossed you'll book with no issues for your yoga class in 2 weeks' time xxx

@BunnytheBlueWhale Did you manage to get to yoga then after all? Or is it a different class? Glad you're going 😊

@Avocuddles That's a nice weekend. DH and I are off for a walk, the weather is lovely today. Then quickly pop to the shops, and then I'm sadly working this afternoon. So busy that I had to take one instruction home. Off to the cinema tomorrow to see "Little Women" and I might see my friend for a coffee. So achy today that I might just do a long walk and go back to my exercises tomorrow morning. Have a lovely weekend girls xxx

@BunnytheBlueWhale I'm exactly the same - we moved to a 5 day a week dress down policy last year so I just avoid buying / wearing anything that requires ironing! DH does his own shirts but I never go near the iron if at all avoidable.

MIL is still coughing away so I'm staying put in bed with a cup of tea for as long as possible! Like me she's asthmatic which I think gives you a particularly nasty and rasping cough. You could probably hear it a street away!

@MrsMGE the once a month option works well for me, it's nice coming home to a sparkling clean and tidy house though it's usually a matter of hours before DH messes it up again!

Anyone have exciting plans this weekend or mostly a chilled one? We're off to meet DHs friend's week old baby this morning, then spend a few hours with his elderly grandparents before we head back home for a chilled evening. Quite a calm weekend by our usual standards!

Thanks girls. I think I might consider a once a month option (with some tidying up beforehand, I completely get you @tortiecat 😂). This way I wouldn't feel like it costs too much and also I'd still clean myself every other week which I'm fine with. Hmm. I really might look into this. One thing I hate is ironing, although I cope by catching up on Netflix as I do it. It makes it better 😂 I have colleagues who don't iron at all (we don't do dress down), I cannot imagine how you can do that. I'd love not to have to do it! I've invested in blouses and dresses that don't crease that much, good tumble dryer etc, and I still give them a quick iron just because they look better. I don't know how people get away without doing it?! 😂

@Avocuddles Ewww, that's not ideal. How did you survive?

@tortiecat It's DH's big birthday soon and I'm planning on having a 3 course meal tbh. I will be good before and after and allow myself to enjoy it on the day. Don't worry too much about food today, it's a special occasion. Of course nothing stopping you from making better choices today, as long as you enjoy yourself ❤️

Re your friends, that can be hard. I think your pg friend should really put things into perspective. Yes, she has 3 and it can be hard, but she has them, whereas your baby is dead. That's the point. The difference is such that it makes her day-to-day difficulties incomparable, tbh. Her difficulties are something you yearn for and imo as a woman and your friend, she should pause, think and shut up. I had to point that out to my pg friend who was moaning about her nausea to me (first pg, everything going absolutely perfect). I just looked at her and said "I wish I had that problem". She apologised and never moaned again since. I get your friend might have it difficult, but ultimately, she chose to have her kids and she was blessed to have them, unlike you to date. She probably wouldn't say anything to hurt you, but that's still incinsiderate. I genuinely would tell her if it gets too much.

On a separate note, my other pg friend's baby was born this week (beautiful, to be fair - I saw the photos and smiled, happy for her). She was due on my due date, but luckily the baby was born 3 days later. Maybe there is a god. Xxx

@MrsMGE we have a lady that comes every two weeks, with DH and I doing a reasonable job in between. She does the whole house but the thing I find most helpful is that she does a really deep clean of the kitchen and bathroom for us when she is here, which means I can get away with doing less in between her visits! Like @Avocuddles I gallop around tidying up before she comes as well, which totally bemuses DH but means she is a lot more efficient and can tackle surfaces more easily than I do when I clean the rest of the time.

@BunnytheBlueWhale I hope all is OK with DH, and glad you enjoyed your pizza! I love pizza and would eat it every day if I could.

Wishing you all a good weekend...I'm hosting a little family dinner for my Mum's birthday this evening (in which I need to eat much less bread and birthday cake and much more salad!!) and tomorrow seeing three of my oldest friends. One is heavily pregnant with DC3 and very whiney about how hard she is finding it, which is difficult for me but I am just trying to remind myself that her life can be tough and she can't possibly understand how I might feel after three normal pregnancies, and also that I am hopeful that DH's and my turn will come.

@MrsMGE I have a cleaner every four weeks to do more of a 'deep clean'. I clean in between of course but I always love it after they've been and think it's well worth the money. I don't really enjoy cleaning but also don't really feel I can justify the cost more frequently.

@BunnytheBlueWhale I'm glad the root canal went ok and hope the chocolate was therapeutic!

At my mother in law's tonight / tomorrow and she has a really bad cold so I'm trying to sit as far away from her as possible to avoid the line of fire from her constant coughing....

@BunnytheBlueWhale It wasn't an easy week for all of us by the looks of it. But Monday is the start of a new week and may it be a better one! Let's approach it thinking we'll do well. And for now, hope you enjoyed your pizza 😊 xxx

Separate question... do you all have cleaners? I've been debating having one for years...but not sure if it's worth it? I got quite a big house and obviously with three pets there's quite a lot of fur flying around, but we're always on top of it and tbf, you probably wouldn't notice we have pets looking at the state of the house. I tidy up as I go along (basically don't leave stuff dirty and rarely leave anything out instead of putting it away) and do a very thorough clean every fortnight. Not a believer anyone can do it better than me 😏 DH does stuff too, but only simple (mops the floors, hoovers, polishes). Is it sensible to get a cleaner for a fairly big house, but with only two of us living in there, or a waste of money?

So I'm annoyed, they've changed the time of my Zumba class to an hour later without notice. I rushed from work, arrived on time only to be greeted by a rude receptionist (she's always rude!!) who was trying to convince me the booking system does show the new time... until I showed her it doesn't. No apology. Fuming!

Anyway... I came back home, did another HIIT workout and now I'm going to tidy up, change my bedsheets (love it when they're crisp & fresh ❤️) and tidy up.

Not sure if I'm going to bother with Zumba again, I think I have better things to do on Friday night than still sweating somewhere till 8.15pm after a full week of work...xxx

@MrsMGE me too! I saw them live several times including one of the final gigs at Heaton Park. Amazing memories!

@BunnytheBlueWhale I sense some Hotel Chocolat chocolate might be of assistance? What do you think? 😘

@Avocuddles You GOT ME with Oasis, girl! I'm frantically drafting today listening to What's the Story, Morning Glory and about a 100 other Oasis songs alllll day ❤️ DH and I are big fans 😊 xxx