TTC after miscarriage - January 2020

@GoldenBauble I felt the same and was just 31 (little boy was born 1 day after my birthday) when i had my little boy. I'm 33 this year and am a bit more relaxed about it. All the friends I've made whilst on maternity leave were a similar are so now it felt like the right time for me.

I'm also just joining the 30s club and have had the same wobble about my age! In my 20s I was always adamant that I wanted my 20s for ourselves and we've had a great time travelling, establishing careers etc and when I got to 30 that would be the time for kids. So when I fell pregnant a few months shy of my 30th I thought my master life plan had fallen into place brilliantly 😂. I kept saying it was too good to be true - and it was.

Now I get that tinge of anxiety about not falling pregnant again quickly or having another miscarriage and realistically now I know I'll be 31 at the youngest by the time I give birth if all goes well. I don't regret waiting but I am now a little worried we should have started sooner but you can't turn back time. I keep telling myself that it's becoming more the 'norm' to have babies slightly later in life and the vast majority of people manage this successfully. I think I'm moving my next goalpost to 40 😉 let's see what happens over this next decade 🤗🌈

I could have written this myself. Pregnant in September, went for an early scan in November to find out i'd miscarried. Had my first period 12th December and was due to ovulate over Christmas. I've been using OPK sticks so i am hopeful but still waiting to test.
I had a son already who is nearly 18months old. I feel like im still grieving for the loss which I suppose is normal but i so want to be pregnant as well. Truely the worst experience of my life and not one i would wish on anybody.

@LilMrsS I’m 37 and also have occasional ‘have I left it too late’ fear. I didn’t meet my DP until I was 34 though, so there’s nothing I could have done about that! He’s 27 though (go me 😜) and we conceived on the 2nd cycle that ended in miscarriage, so hopefully his young sperm help 😂

I’m coming to the end of my first fertile week after the miscarriage. Been DTD every other day, but yesterday and the day before I had loads of EWCM, which I usually what I get on the day of and after a positive ovulation test. The month we conceived we DTD both of those days, but last night he was too tired and now I’m worried we haven’t maximised our chances 😕 TTC is such a stressful thing! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Morning ladies. I'm feeling so fed up with my body. Thought I was pretty much back to normal, had a 28 day cycle. AF arrived just before Christmas so I'm currently in the fertile window. We've been dtd plenty, getting lots of practice in ready to try our damndest during the fw. Then yesterday I went to the toilet for a number 2 and there was fresh blood. Since then theres been bloody mucus when I wipe. Going to call the doctors this morning, but I'm just so fed up! I'm desperate to get pregnant again but cant help but feel that this bleeding means I've no chance this cycle.

Did an OPK this morning, the line was fainter than yesterdays. This is my first time doing them. Could this mean that I've ovulated early? I'm on CD12 today.

Sorry for rambling on.

@LilMrsS I’m 31 too, trying for my first. I’m a bit worried I’ve left it late too and constantly have this feeling now I’ll never carry to term. Most of my friends had their first child in the last couple of years so feel a bit left behind. But I keep reminding myself that we conceived on the first cycle of trying, and I didn’t think we had because I didn’t track anything as we was too busy moving house. I think not stressing and obsessing over ttc will help, but it’s so hard to not constantly think about wanting a baby so desperately x

@LilMrsS I am going to be 40 in March and trying for my first!

Hi all, just caught up with this thread kinda new to this. Sorry to hear all your stories I was in the same boat in 2019 too. TTC 2nd child but seems to be taking a while which is annoying especially it being so instant and positive with my first. Can I ask what ages people are , I seem to think I've left it too long despite seeing older woman I work with having kids it's in my head now I'm 31. Any tips welcomed.

it's reading things like that which keeps me going quite honestly, you brilliant woman you 🥰

Bloody hell everyone, this last year was the pits wasn't it ! Let's let ourselves be whatever we feel on here and in our minds, I mean those are our safe places of freedom surly. So if we are feeling incredibly obsessive on a particular day and think non stop about babies so be it, we need that indulgence to be able to function in our day to day.

So many stories here of brave and courageous women, I'm inspired every time I check this thread and it keeps my own wallowing at bay. My path here has been a hell of a lot smoother then some of you amazing lot.

January is a real time for reflection, good and bad so I guess we all do have to buckle up for the ride over the next few weeks, so personally very grateful for this thread @MilsCookie

@BS9790 sorry for your loss. I was 10 weeks when I found out no heartbeat but they said heartbeat probably stopped at 9w1d judging by growth. I went with medical management. Once I had the second round of tablets the bleeding started and lasted for about 9-11 days. I waited the 3 weeks to do a pregnancy test which was positive and the miscarriage was incomplete. I don’t know if I should have bled for longer if the miscarriage was complete.

Like you this was my first pregnancy and conceived on our first cycle of trying. I hope it stops for you soon and you’re able to get some closure of this horrible experience x

@BS9790 sorry for your loss.
I miscarried at xmas i was 6w5 and the bleeding lasted 4 days.
I had cramps but did not pass much tissue or clots at all...
It dragged A bit because of an infection but the bleeding was like a heavy period and a short one.

But it depends/ each person is different. I had a termination 14 years ago with medical management and i had haemorrhage problem and bled for a month. So it really depends.

Good luck to you

@StephyRose hopefully you feel a bit better tonight! That's frustrating you arent feeling well in fertile week 😭😭

@Ejb86 sorry for your losses lovely! Welcome to the ttc crew xx

@MilsCookie that's a lovely picture of your bubba! I think of my little one as a her and we bought her a special christmas decoration for the tree so that we can remember her every year!

@ChampooPapi love your positivity, youreally brighten up the thread 🙌❤

@AlviesMam thinking of you lovely ❤ I have just turned 28 and trying to tell myself that I still have plenty of time but it's hard not to think ahh wish I had started earlier

@Mammacooks i am gonna use OPKs aswell. I am on cycle day 8 today not sure if I will ovulate in a weeks time like I usually do so just keeping an eye out for symptoms

@ChampooPapi Thank you so much 😢 I feel already that bit more positive having this thread to vent to!
I honestly have that crushing feeling in my chest every time I think about my pregnant colleagues due dates because I know I will have to face the birth of the babies soon which might put me back to a sad state. Honestly I am over the moon for them both but it should have been me too. I have came off Facebook, still have Instagram but I mute the stories/posts I don't want to see. Since my still birth I have put on weight and just feel so emotional. This is a journey I'd never thought I'd be on. How do I not obsess over being pregnant every month?! I'm trying to keep calm but I am so desperate to have a baby it's making my life a rollercoaster at the moment. I do have a good feeling but then In the back of my mind I'm thinking what if it doesn't happen. I'm 29 this year and I keep thinking I should have tried years earlier
On another note I've just done my healthy food shop ✔️ starting gym classes this week xxx

@AlviesMam also working with pregnant Women must be so awful! Im probably in the minority here but under the circumstances you are in I would certainly not be happy for them at all! I would absolutely hate it so you are bloody amazing 🤗

@AlviesMam we will be here for you every day and every step forward, or backward you make. Please come off social media though, it's not good for most people at the best of times but with grieving and moving towards a goal simultaneously, social media is definitely counter productive. You are so incredibly brave and it will happen for you, these things will not happen again and you absolutely will carry a baby to term and hold them in your arms. 2020 is your lucky year, the only way is up ♥️💛💙💜💚

@AlviesMam

@Ejb86 welcome and so sorry to hear of your losses. With my 22 month old and our MC we also weren’t tracking and were definitely not DTD as frequently as every other day. So I’m trying to remember this and that the odds are in our favour when conceiving and carrying a healthy pregnancy to term. I am definitely prone to catastrophising and finding it hard to keep positive after what’s happened.

I am cycle day 5 now and am going to use clearblue OPK this month to try and help catch ovulation. Good luck everyone 🤞💗

Today marks a year since my first miscarriage, went to the 12 week scan to find out my baby measured only 8 weeks. This time last year I was a mess and hoped by next year I'd be in a happy place. Now I'm grieving my second loss. Losing Alvie at 22 weeks due to a CHD. 2020 has to be the year of good news
I'm so scared about the future. Really trying to be positive xxxx

@MilsCookie
I know how you feel! It's hard not to feel sad and a little jealous when you find out someone else's news.
I work with two girls who are pregnant and we were all due the same time. They are now on maternity and due in the next 4-5 weeks. I'm the one left behind after my still birth :( the feeling is awful and seeing their updates on social media can crush me sometimes. Although I'm very happy for them its hard. I've promised myself to start this year on a positive. Focusing on things that make me feel better and trying to be more relaxed when TTC. Xxxx

@MilsCookie of course it is fine to post it. ❤ I had an early scan at 7 weeks exactly and I saw my little darling and her heartbeat. I have to keep reminding myself that I was pregnant - because I had no bump, no obvious telltale signs and one day I had a baby inside and the next day I didn't ... I feel like the people around you get over it more quickly and you are there thinking 'this actually happened to me.' Its hard to grasp. ❤ I've seen from previous posts you were travelling before ... are you home now? Two of my good friends are due around the same time we were ... one weeks before in May and another literally ten days after. When I found out about the second, I had a meltdown at work. Thought I was being punished for something I've done wrong in a past life. I came off FB and Instagram a few weeks ago and feel all the better for it. It's just not healthy to keep comparing my life to others. Feel better soon❤

Hi @Anny27, lovely to see you here too 💗 cant believe how quick it has gone since we all started talking on the MC board. We are troopers and 2020 has lots of good in store for us 💗🎉

So sorry @Ejb86 to hear of your loss. ❤❤I can confirm this to be true also as my partner and I's 1st cycle TTC we had sex one that month and voila!

I feel cheated by fate ladies as I have come down with a horrific bout of tonsillitis, right at the time of ovulation. According to my app and cycles I should still be within a good chance of conceiving yesterday, today and tomorrow but I was so poorly last night I couldn't face DTD. It felt like it would be against nature. Going to give it a go tonight but my throat is razor blades and I just want to sleep to next week. Have DTD every other day since last Saturday... worried I haven't made the most of the opportunity. But there is always next month .... 🌈

@MilsCookie we are all here for you, it leaves such a big space in your heart that you just want to fill again. I totally get how your feeling and it is just going to take a lot of time for this to get easier to carry with us. One day at a time 💜♥️💛💚