TTC after miscarriage - January 2020

Thanks for all your messages of support. And sorry to those also having bad days. Glad we are all here for each other xx

My fertile window won't start until Sunday, so I won't be testing until the very end of the month. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed to see lots of BFPs before then!

@DisneyMummySince2010 how are you doing this morning?

@Brodijen most of the time, it's just bad luck. Nothing you have done. If you ever read up on all the things that need to be just right for an egg to be fertilised and grow into a baby, it's astounding we ever reproduce, but if the conditions are right they're very resilient! You will just stress yourself out if you second guess everything. Concentrate on taking care of yourself

TWW is starting to feel like forever... 1dpo

Anyone feeling the same?

I will be testing on 18th Jan but will be abroad for the weekend so if it turns out negative at least i am having a good time !

Who else is testing around this date??

Thank you for your lovely messages and stories 💕 and your support too!

@Bath2020 I was reading about Vitamin C and B for lengthening LP and selenium which you can get in Brazil nuts. But I also don’t want to go mucking about and cause unintended changes to cycle. I had been taking pregnacare conception before MC and was reading about people who OV was delayed by that so 🤷‍♀️

Am going to try and find an acupuncturist and see what’s involved.

@DisneyMummySince2010 I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this. Had a pretty hopeless day too but tomorrow (today!) is a new day! The best thing is to talk and talk some more.

@Brodijen the midwives were so kind during my MC, I was asking all the questions you were and they said you should see the kinds of things that people do and go on to have healthy babies, and then you can do everything right and it doesn’t work, I think there’s very little we can do on the ‘outside’ that can really make a difference. I know you’ve probably heard all that before and totally understand wanting to do things differently. But try not to be hard on yourself

@DisneyMummySince2010 I defo don’t want for you to go to bed upset. I am the last person from positive thinking. Thank god for my husband who keeps the positivity going in my house.

I have two close friends who both had ectopic pregnancies.

Friend 1 : 27 very healthy Girl but had first pregnancy as an ectopic one. She tried again and another ectopic pregnancy god love her so she has both tubes removed. Now in that case she needed ivf just because of the tubes issue and after her second ivf she had him - gorgeous baby boy.

My second friend a fertility nurse previously lost a Fallopian tube and panicked knowing all the cases that come into her. She had an iui and it took first time. Iui not ivf!! iui is a daily quick procedure the docs time depending on OV She got pregnant on one iui procedure.

I’m so conscious not to give you false hope Whatsoever but I definitely think these stories bring hope and a nice sense of positivity that you need tonight to sleep better maybe. I hope so anyway and I am thinking of you because I go into these fits ofdispair as well. Good night pal hope you sleep xx

Sending virtual hugs @DisneyMummySince2010

Try to stay away from Google! You are doing your best and you caught ovulation which already a good start !!

Feeling so down today. I’m about 4dpo I think! But I just feel hopeless. I’m getting lots of aches on my left side where my tube was removed in October. So stupidly have been googling all sorts of rubbish and read that after an ectopic the opposite tube only catches the egg 15% of the time. So if I have ovulated from my left ovary the chances are slim that my tube will catch it. I get myself so excited every month and think surely this will be my month and 85% of the time it’s unlikely to be! Feeling sorry for myself tonight! Sorry for rambling 😩

The lady who did my scan and broke the news to me told me she miscarried her first pregnancy, gave me a massive hug and recommended that I get acupuncture with a lady she had gone to in my home town after she miscarried (subsequently had two lovely children). I’m going on Friday morning.

I had acupuncture before for nerve damage in my boob of all places (I wish as a result of a boob job but unfortunately not 😩) and it definitely helped me. The guy who did my acupuncture that time had all these thank you cards in the reception with parents and babies on them and I asked, at the time, and he said they were all the ladies (and gents) he had done fertility acupuncture for.

It’s worth a try anyway so I’m going to give it a go!

Other than pregnacare and the likes what other supplements do people suggest is it mainly an omega 3 or anything I’m missing?

Thanks @Honolulu1 and all you ladies on the thread, it’s good to know others are going through the same thing even though I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
I’m back to CD1 today but since MC had 22, 26 and just now had 29 day cycle. But I only got peak OPK on CD20 leaving only 8/9 dats for luteal phase.
So I’ve gone from googling pregnancy symptoms to googling luteal phase defects. The googling is definitely making me more stressed but then what if I miss some symptom that would explain what’s going on.
I find getting out and walking good for distraction, with a podcast or something.

@Pancakes26 I was thinking about acupuncture too, would definitely be interested to try it. Tbh would try anything right now.

Planning on trying a few supplements to bring OV forward.

@GemLou88 it’s so hard, I’ve two friends due when I would have been. But even seeing the baby boards here sets me off on bad days.

Hi gals, some 2020 baby dust to you all! And some questions that I’ve been wondering about if you have any input at all for me? Like all of you, I’m looking back at my pregnancy and wondering what I could have done differently and what I could do this time around. I know I shouldn’t be beating myself up though. But, should I have exercised? I run anyway, but should I have stopped? And should I stop exercising now I’m TTC again? Or just stop during the TWW? I really don’t know. Is there anything else I can or should be doing in this cycle, a paper from using OPK to help me get pregnant? Any advice at all is so appreciated.

@Pancakes26 abbreviations

I'm on CD3, but now we've decided to start trying this month I'm impatient to get going.

We've had a lot of success with SMEP, and as I have short cycles (23 days pre-MC, 25 days after), I've been pretty accurate at predicting ovulation so no need to temp or use OPKs at the moment.

I can't say I've ever really noticed EWCM at ovulation, but I don't have a lot of discharge generally. It's a good thing we're all friends on here, isn't it

@GemLou88, as ELM7 said, some days you handle it but others you hide in the stationary cupboard don't. You just have to get through it your own way, but feel free to let it all out on here because most of us will be feeling the same!

Hi @Sparkl, my cycles have been slightly longer since MC, but still relatively short, and I only ovulate a day or two later.

@Honolulu1 have you tried booking a holiday? Getting crazy busy at work? Those were the only things that distracted me during the 2WW!

Welcome @Pancakes26. Some phones automatically translate the abbreviations (my work one does), otherwise there's a list somewhere, I'll see if I can find it for you. If you're not sure, just ask.

There's Doing The Deed (DTD), and then I've used 2 week wait (2ww), miscarriage (MC), Egg White Cervical Mucus (EWCM), Calendar Day 3 (CD3), Sperm Meets Egg Plan (SMEP)

@Bath3020 glad you got to speak to someone who sounds like she knows where you're coming from emotionally. OPKs can pick up and react to pregnancy hormones, so you might be better waiting for a negative HPT before using them.

Hi ladies

I went to the gp this morning 8 days after miscarriage started. She reckons that I have completed the miscarriage naturally but I am going for a final scan on Thursday to be sure.

It’s my first pregnancy and I am heartbroken but she said that as soon as I stop bleeding (which I think (hope) is today tomorrow - It’s defo easing off and changing colour ( tmi ) but who knows I’ve never done this before so could start again with a vengeance but cramps are def easing ).

So basically, and maybe it’s on the basis that I have had a natural miscarriage she said get back to dtd ASAP as the Uterus has it’s best blood supply atm for accepting another pregnancy. Now this is just her advice and may not apply to everyone but said I would let you know. She said dating pregnancy is the only reason to wait for The first AF and that the scans are well able in this day and age to do the dating for us. So her modern view is get back at it as soon as emotionally ready which is not for everyone obviously. FYI she has 3 children and has had 3 miscarriages.

On the OPK - I have a clear blues in my bathroom so out of curiosity I did one today and it’s saying I am at peak fertility. I haven’t taken a hpt since miscarriage started to check that it is neg but will do tomorrow but would say the OPK is acting bonkers and giving a false ovulation reading. I’m so impatient though. I would actually go for it but 8 days for me is just too soon. Hope everyone is feeling ok today.

@Pancakes26 sorry you’re here but it’s a good place to be with these ladies and their advice all the same xx

Hi all,

I’m new to mumsnet, I had to join after seeing this thread as it’s exactly what I’m going through Atm.

I miscarried in September and had medical management. It took 5 weeks to stop bleeding. I got my first proper period in Nov and have been using Ovulation sticks, but I’m still not pregnant and came on my period early this month (usually 33day cycle)

I’m thinking of trying acupuncture potentially to help with the blood flow and also to maybe relax me as I am a bit intense with tracking etc

Anyone tried it before?

(Sorry i don’t know all the abbreviations yet)

Thanks!

Hi @Sparkl - welcome to the thread and so sorry for your loss! It's reassuring that your cycles came back quickly so body is ready again. I had a similar experience - early mc in Sept, we started trying again after that but my next two cycles were much longer than before at 32 days (from 28/29 before), which was so cruel as you start to feel so positive again getting hopes up when 2-3 days late, confused with negative tests then then AF turns up saying "fooled ya" ffs. Last month was a shorter 27 day cycle after starting to take proceive, so hoping they are regulating back to normal/previous - I have no idea if it was the vitamins or that it just takes time to get back to normal. I've found getting AF has been getting harder each time too, but feeling less stressed about it this cycle so hopefully I won't hate her so much again! We used SMEP the month I got pregnant which was the first time we tried it after ttc for 6 months - so I was thrilled with it, but it's not worked for us again yet. Where are you in your cycle? I'm currently CD 28/12dpo but starting to feel like AF is on her way again.

I hope everyone is doing ok and those also in their 2ww are managing to distract themselves from frantically googling every possible symptom they think they might have had, unlike me! Distraction tips welcome :)xx

@GemLou88 I think it’s like most things in this crappy situation we have good days and bad. I found out just before Christmas someone I work with was pregnant with a very similar due date as I should have and it didn’t effect me. Found out last week someone else I work with is due a month after I should be and I cried at my desk all afternoon as all I could think about was watching their bump grow and me not having that.

Think all I can say is that after the bad days there will be good ones.

@GemLou88 ye it’s hard.... I’m not working with anyone who is pregnant, but two of my friends are pregnant and it feels like a bullet to talk about their pregnancy’s but I am very happy for them so I just pretend all is ok 👍🏼

Hi all,
Hoping to join you in this thread for some positivity and baby dust!
Had an early MC in October, luckily cycles came back quickly enough. Let one cycle pass to heal and have tried SMEP for the last two cycles without success. AF arrived again today and it honestly seems harder each time.
Has anyone else had different cycles after MC? I think I’m ovulating later than before. Might try the cod liver oil suggestion but any other ideas for OV earlier would be great, need ideas to try so that I feel like I’m doing something and feel less anxious.

How does everyone cope with working with pregnant women? I manage a nursery and have 2 staff who are pregnant, just had to update their risk assessments and their due dates are a couple of weeks after what mine would have been. One was talking about finding out the sex next week. So far I’ve been ok around them and been able to talk about how they are getting on. But today has just hit me like a ton of bricks

@cruiser we did it!

@TerribleImagination we used it yesterday and this morning but i didn’t put much... we ll see

@Anny27 this morning line was a little lighter so the surge is over and i probably ovulated in the night. Also in tiny bit of preseed strategy this time :)
I find sperm more liquid than ewcm... more watery but it’s very close to the precum for some reason so yeah hard to make the difference !

@MilsCookie
i had my smear test at cd13 when i got pregnant in November and it didnt interfere at all.
But my results were not good and it gave me anxiety ... so it’s up to you. I am waiting for colposcopy but they won’t do any treatment if pregnant and if it’s needed..

Also @Anny27 yes I do find it hard to distinguish EWCM from sperm especially when DTD so often in the fertile window

It’s like being on the waltzers and trying to read a novel 😰😂😂 it’s all moving so fast lol 😂

Thank you @Anny27 it’s quite hard to get the hang of isn’t it.
Maybe my temp spike was something unrelated because 37.3 is quite high it’s not just a small jump. Il see what tomorrow’s temp is..... if it is ovulation then it should be another similar high temp in the region of 37.3? Right?

Also, does the temp spike indicate ovulation has already happened? As opposed to the LH spike indicating ovulation is imminent?

Thanks and sorry for the questions 😂

Hello,

Hope it's okay for me to join, I had a miscarriage at the end of October, medical management and then surgical management. It was my first month TTC #1.

In December I suddenly really wanted to start TTC again, I had a CP last week but I'm stocked up on folic acid and ovulation tests ready to try again.

Fertile window starts tomorrow!

@Anny27 Yeah replicating seems the best thing to do! If it worked once eh? 🤷🏻‍♀️ The only other difference between those two months for me was that after DTD I didn’t go to the loo afterwards, just hips up for a bit and then to sleep. Super grim I know, but I just immediately put knickers on to keep it all in as much as possible! I didn’t do this the first month, and my friend who gets pregnant first time each time (but has also gone through a loss and is now 39 weeks!) said she just rolls over and goes to sleep so to try that! It feels pretty grim, but hey, it worked for me that 2nd month 🤷🏻‍♀️

And yep I also get confused with EWCM and left overs from DTD 🤢🤣 I generally go by if I’m getting it on wiping towards the end of the day then it’s EWCM 👍🏻