TTC after miscarriage - January 2020

@Michette maybe the Dr is right.
Iv had 2 MC in a row. The statistics show that a huge proportion of women will have one miscarriage but only 2% will have 2 MC and only 1% will have 3 or more

@MilsCookie what a lovely idea that we always have that imprint, no matter how short the time.

@AlviesMam so sorry you’re feeling like that. It does feel like a vicious cycle of worry sometimes that’s hard to get out of. I know what you mean about being disappointed in your body, I have the same feeling when thinking about possible causes, but in another way if the loss is because the pregnancy isn’t viable it’s kind of amazing that the body recognises that. Trying to put a positive spin on a painful situation, but it’s hard

@Michette thanks for the update. That’s so frustrating but I’m not surprised at the same time. I also have one DC already which makes me think they’ll be less inclined to investigate.

@Leok83 so sorry you’re going through this too. Completely agree about it seeming so cruel to have to go through multiple losses.

I feel like we put up with so much that could be investigated or researched just because we’re told it’s normal to have awful pms symptoms or birth injuries or whatever. Surely you could be investigated for low progesterone just to make your quality of life better, never mind enduring losses. Grateful to all of you for sharing your experiences and info so I’m better prepared to get what I need from doctors etc. Let’s get those bfps!

Thanks so much for all your lovely messages of support. It means a lot. My DH has been amazing through it all taking care of me but we are grieving differently. He doesn’t talk about it too much so its just nice to be able to open up a bit more with others who understand.

@GoldenBauble that’s really helpful to know about the bleeding as even though they said it’s normal part of me was still a bit concerned! Thank you!

@Michette I was going to ask my GP about aspirin too so that’s disappointing to hear that’s the response. Seems to be what they say for everything. When I asked could the fibroid have caused the MC was told probably not but it can but unless have 3 consecutive MCs they won’t investigate. I outright said it’s cruel to expect women to go through multiple traumatic experiences rather than investigate and sort out a problem to save all that trauma and grief. Nothing they can do I know as it’s policy but obviously policy makers have never been through what we have been through. Currently still makes me angry as something as simple as checking blood to see if you need aspirin or progesterone shouldn’t be refused until a woman has suffered multiple losses when something like aspirin or progesterone may have brought those beans to full term 😢, It seems so backwards and cruel.

@MilsCookie love that quote xxxxxx

But for all the ladies wondering about progesterone and aspirin. I talked to my GP today and said id like to have a blood test for CRP count and possibly progesterone and aspiring for the next pregnancy. Her answer was that i only had one MC and i am healthy with no known conditions so i shouldn’t take any of this but give my body a chance to conceive naturally without drugs.

Bit disappointing.

@MilsCookie thanks for your words and the quote. I feel like i have been given a pep talk now and i am ready for the marathon too :)

@ChampooPapi

I am guilty of testing for hcg at 6 dpo.
And i know how absolutely ridiculous that sounds

@milscookie that quote is really lovely. It made me tear up a bit too.

@leok83 sorry you find yourself here too. Your experience sounds very similar to mine. They believe my baby's heart stopped a few days before my scan. At the time it made it really hard to swallow but now I look back and in a strange way I'm thankful that we found out so soon. I wasn't at the time, I was devastated and just wanted to know why. We had that scan as a reassurance to start telling people and now I keep thinking if we'd had that scan a few days before we would have told our families believing all was well. So in some ways now I'm glad we found out when we did (although I would of course have preferred a different outcome!). I also had the ERPC and my bleeding was intermittent. It pretty much stopped after about 5 days but then came back worse than the immediate days post surgery around 10 days post surgery (which also freaked me out). I was told this was normal to have bleeding which stops and starts. My bleeding eventually stopped after 3 weeks (although it was really light most of this time). Hopefully you make a speedy recovery. Everyone is really lovely and supportive on here so ask us anything

Feel so shit tonight.
8 days until I'm due and I'm getting that bloated period feeling. Feel so pissed off and angry and just want to cry 😭 can't feel positive tonight. Feel like I'm constantly venting to family and friends and can't speak to them because I'm just repeating myself. When I'm negative it makes my husband negative so don't want to pass that onto him. Feel like I have this different body since my still birth and can't feel good about myself. I'm so upset 😢

@MilsCookie you are incredible ♥️💛🌷💙💜💚

Sorry my ridiculous message came after your truly beautiful and amazing one, you are my rock on here. You are absolutely bloody fantastic 🥰🔥♀️

@Michette girl let me just tell you I hear you loud and clear! If I hear that man say 'You want another portion?' one more time I'm going to roll over and laugh until my sides hurt 😂

He does this particular gesture like it's an inevitable event, i.e like one has made a mess of the kitchen and needs his assistance in making good.

Thank goodness for you women, I need you all to just plant me back on earth 🌍🌈🤲

@MilsCookie thank you for sharing the quote. Such a comforting thought to know that physically as well as emotionally our babies will always be with us. xx

@MilsCookie I am crying reading that! That's so amazing 😭😭😭😭

@Mammacooks

Could have written your post lovely. Feel exactly the same way. Concieving, being pregnant, wanting to concieve again has completely consumed me. Wish I could just feel like normal Steph again. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Totally agree that because I want it so much, I just feel it wont happen. I feel like someone decided a long time ago that I wont be a Mum. It's so stupid. A ridiculously negative mindset to have but we are only human. We WILL get our BFPs though. 💗🤞

Wishing you lots of love @Leok83 and best wishes. Be gentle and kind on yourself. My baby was 8 weeks and 3 days, even though I made it all the way to 11 weeks and 3 days without knowing. Had an early scan too as I was mega anxious. Super glad I did because I can remember them forever. 💗💙

@Leok83 so sorry to hear you’ve also gone through this. It’s horrible isn’t it.
My ERPC was at 9weeks (baby measuring 6weeks) I had also had failed medical management so bled already so therefore this might not be relevant but I found I had light bleeding for about a week-10days after ERPC and then it stopped and I got a period 31 days after. We did have unprotected sex before my period but weren’t “trying” as such and looking back at my dates it would have been too late to conceive anyway. Good luck! X

@BS9790 @ELM7 it is SO difficult isn’t it. Part of me occasionally allows myself to think it might be possible but mainly I think I’m preparing myself for it not to happen this month as a sort of self preservation exercise. I also keep thinking that it won’t happen because I want it so much, which I know is totally irrational and daft! I’ve never tracked my cycles or scrutinised over it to this degree so I really am finding it takes over my brain 90% of the day and I worry that this will now become my life for the foreseeable future if we don’t get pregnant quickly. Goodness me it’s so crazy isn’t it!
I did get pregnant twice before without so much as knowing my cycle so we must keep a glimmer of hope as it is possible but given these circumstances it really is tough. Sorry for the rant and wishing you all BFP so so SO soon!x

@Mammacooks I’m the same of thinking it won’t of happened this month. And whilst on one side I tell myself not to be negative On the other side I think it’s my way of not getting my hopes up to protect myself from disappointment.

@Mammacooks I could of wrote that post myself.
Feeling exactly the same! And very similar dates (based on pre mc cycle)!

Think I've already ovulated, I too already feel that this month is not my month x

Hi everyone,
Hope you don’t mind me joining. I’ve spent the last day reading this thread from the start and I’m so sorry about all of your losses. You are all so strong and I love the support you are giving each other here💗.
I found out last Tuesday I had a MMC, 1 was 8 weeks 6 days and was measured at 8 weeks 5 days with no heartbeat so had obviously only stopped in the previous 24 hours. I’m 36 and it’s my first. Got BFP 3rd cycle ttc. Had all the symptoms of a normal pg right to the end. Given my age I was always a bit worried as hear so much about friends and family who’ve had MC so I never really relaxed into it. I went for early scan more to put my mind at ease but I really didn’t expect it to happen to me.
I opted for ERPC as was so nauseous and the hospital were great and did it the next day (last Wednesday the 08/01). Was told I also have a fibroid after ERPC which has been a big source of additional anxiety for me. Coming to terms with it since is so tough. I literally feel broken. On top of that started cramping and bleeding a good bit since yesterday so have constant reminder of what’s happened even though I’ve gone back to work today to try and keep my mind busy. Didn’t really bleed at all until yesterday so was quite concerned but hospital said as long as I’m not feverish and it doesn’t smell it’s normal. Did anyone else start to bleed after 4 days?
I really want to get back to TTC ASAP as I’m aware of time just ticking away, part of me really wants to try before AF, emotionally I think I’m ready but physically obviously have a bit to go!
Have started back BBT and will check PT from Wednesday to make sure they’re going down.
I really hope the rest of 2020 brings us all sticky healthy BFPs! 💫🌈

I've had some strong ish lines on ovulation sticks, but not as dark as the control line. Was waiting for a peak but the one I've done this evening is barely visible. God knows what im doing, lol.
DTD again tonight... Then having a break!!!

@ELM7 I’m just a little behind you I think. I think I should be ovulating around now/soon but not entirely sure (CD16) with next AF due on 29th. Gosh this TTC after MC is making me a bit of an anxious mess. I am already totally convincing myself that there’s no way I will conceive this month it’s driving me mad! Even though we conceived quickly both times previously I am now so focussed on it I just think it won’t happen... anyone feel the same? It’s all consuming! X

So I’m joining the TWW gang my OPK went from peak yesterday to zero today so really hoping DTD a few times over the weekend was perfect timing.
Although according to my husband since I started with OPKs - DTD is now a chore 😂 told him he was so romantic to which he replied dipping a stick wasn’t romantic! Got to love him! ❤️

So according to OPK app AF is due 28/1 and the Flo app (which was always spot on before MC) AF is due 25/1. The joys of waiting and hoping AF doesn’t arrive

@MilsCookie I’m with you on the most excruciating boob pain starting last time about 6weeks! Hated it at the time now would give anything to have it again!

Hi lovely ladies. I haven’t been on here for a while. This post is moving fast. Sad to see there’s more ladies in this position, but happy you have all found this supportive bunch. I hope everyone is doing well. So glad to see our first BFP of the group! Congratulations @MrsB16!

Hopefully that’s the first of many to come.

I’ve been tracking my ovulation using OPK. My app said I should have ovulated yesterday at CD15, I’ve been having high readings but no peek so think it’s not going to happen this month. We have been DTD everyday for the past 3 days so far but think at this point it’s just for fun. It’s the first cycle since the surgery. But hearing all you guys keeps me positive. Thank you Ladies xx