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Conception

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Original poster

Has anyone TTC DTD before their first period after miscarriage?

67 replies

danielasummer · 19/11/2019 16:06

Has anyone TTC DTD before their first period after miscarriage?

I miscarried 3 weeks ago and haven't had a period yet.. was told to wait to TTC after AF but I have loads of egg white cervical mucus today and just so tempted to DTD and see what happens! Any stories or advice anyone can share please??

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ChampooPapi · 21/11/2019 18:13

@danielasummer oh for sure that is the way going forward. Its ok to obsess and wallow as well of course but it's healthy for the mind and soul to kind of keep that to a designated time of the day (mines always around now just before bed). If I open that box to early in the day it takes over my whole thought process.

Your being really brave and strong, it is very hard but it will get easier and you will be stronger going into your next pregnancy as well as your baby being stronger as well. It's going to happen for us 💖

Original poster
danielasummer · 21/11/2019 11:15

@Chanel05 hi, I'm so sorry you miscarried. Flowers I definitely think there isn't a hard and fast rule for any of us and that our bodies are all totally different. I have no idea what's going on with mine at the moment when usually I'm quite clued up!

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Original poster
danielasummer · 21/11/2019 11:14

@ChampooPapi that's a really positive way of looking at it. I always say that I'm flowing with the grief, so it's not crippling me, but also not allowing me to forget (which I wouldn't want to anyway).

I don't think I have any issues other than irregular cycles (sometimes 31 days, sometimes 45) so maybe a potential progesterone problem, but I'm not sure. The doctors aren't great where I am and it's so hard to get referred to the right person! So I'm going to try again and if I get pregnant, push for some testing to hopefully ensure I don't mc again. And you're right about holding onto things - have thrown everything away as I couldn't bear to keep bursting into tears every time I caught a glimpse of those pregnancy books or saw the positive pregnancy tests :(

Will be thinking of you in the second week of December! Please post on here to let me know. Fingers crossed for you. Will be amazing if we end up in the same pregnancy thread!

I'm not going to test until I'm maybe a week late. I'm being careful with what I eat anyway and cutting back on caffeine, so I'm not doing any harm in waiting I guess.

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Chanel05 · 20/11/2019 20:44

@danielasummer I started ttc 3 weeks. After my surgical management in May and I haven't conceived yet. Many people can be more fertile after mc, though just as many people are not.

ChampooPapi · 20/11/2019 13:46

@danielasummer it might be good to dispose of all your early first response pregnancy tests. They are not going to help your anxiety and trust me, you'll know when your pregnant, you either start throwing up or when af just doesn't show you can go and buy a normal test.

Those tests are useful for so many women but they also are responsible for a lot of heartbreak with false positives and line guessing, chemical pregnancys ect.

This time we both need a positive that's got the best chance of sticking and lines that don't need inverting or tests taken apart!

Be kind to yourself 🤗

ChampooPapi · 20/11/2019 13:43

@danielasummer and yes, just have loads of sex and loosen up of testing, who knows when your going to be due a period either so just do that baby dance whenever the mood takes. I've got my two daughters from that method so I'm going with it this time Smile

ChampooPapi · 20/11/2019 13:41

@danielasummer oh I'm so pleased, you can start your journey again and look forward again not over your shoulder. The past will stay with us but not rule out waking moments in the same way I believe from having to plan ahead again. It's also incredibly unlikely to happen again , unless you've been told you have other issues, which you would have been notified of.

We will be the lucky ones next time and I hope well end up on the same thread together to share the pregnancy day to day, even if we are at different stages.

I'm testing second week of December if a period doesn't show up, god knows when it's supposed to but currently not having one so that's a positive!

Original poster
danielasummer · 20/11/2019 10:45

@Novasky1 I’m so sorry for your loss x congratulations on little one and I’m wishing you all the best for the rest of your pregnancy and birth. Thank you for keeping everything crossed for me and for sharing your experience xx

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Original poster
danielasummer · 20/11/2019 10:44

@CJsGoldfish thank you for sharing your experience. We have decided to just go for it (can’t ignore EWCM when we’ve been keeping track of it for nearly a year!) although worried because it had dried up a few hours before we BD. So many anxieties starting up already! X

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Original poster
danielasummer · 20/11/2019 10:42

@ChampooPapi hi, yes I think we were - I’m so sorry for your loss. I found out the day before you, it’s the worst feeling in the world isn’t it. I’m trying to thank my body for allowing me to get pregnant in the first place and hold my baby for as long as I did (6 weeks) before he/she passed and for recognising he/she would not have lived a healthy life. But some days are better than others and honestly, some days I hate myself for what my body has done. Good days and bad days!

I wholeheartedly believe we will hold our beautiful babies one day. Hopefully even in 2020 💫

Thank you for sharing with me on this thread and I’m thinking of you. I too didn’t return to the May 2020 board as it was just too painful. Xx

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Novasky1 · 20/11/2019 08:54

We didnt wait, had a D&C at the end of April this year and got pregnant 3 weeks later, i'm now 28 weeks pregnant with a healthy and very lively bubbs. Best of luck OP, crossing everything for you xxx

CJsGoldfish · 20/11/2019 08:50

I've never waited and have not been told I need to do so.
My ob told me to go ahead and try when I felt up to it. And I did, many times.

Sorry for your loss and all others on this thread.

ChampooPapi · 20/11/2019 08:44

Oh and I had surgical management If that helps for information Smile

ChampooPapi · 20/11/2019 08:42

@danielasummer that's a really good way to think of moving forward, you were super anxious and things went wrong, I wasn't anxious at all...and things went wrong. We can't control anything, even an early scan wouldn't have helped for me. Our bodys were actually really incredible and we will end up holding healthy bundles by this time next year I'd imagine.

ChampooPapi · 20/11/2019 08:39

@danielasummer i think we were on the same pregnancy thread as each other, I never returned as at my 12 week scan on October the 22nd pregnancy wasn't developing. Had a d&c a few days later.

As long as you get a negative test, and most importantly have stopped bleeding it's absolutely fine to start trying again.

Your very fertile after a miscarriage so go for I say!

All the best to you

Original poster
danielasummer · 20/11/2019 07:56

@MrsSkr I've been told that too and whilst in the beginning it hurt my heart to hear that I was growing a potentially unwell baby, now, looking back, I've realised it's for the best. Still a massive pain in my chest but I know that one day I'll be holding my rainbow baby. So glad you had your happy ending - clinging onto that hope for myself. Will try to manage my anxiety as the anxiety didn't help in my last pregnancy so will try to do myself a favour and relax a little the next time around x

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Original poster
danielasummer · 20/11/2019 07:54

@Lf89 hi, thank you, I'm so sorry to hear that it also happened to you. It's awful isn't it.

Well we have started trying before my period so we'll see how it goes - what's the worst that can happen. Keeping my fingers crossed for you. Let me know how it goes x

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MrsSkr · 19/11/2019 21:18

@danielasummer I felt completely the same, I think it's normal. I came to terms with it alot easier when I spoke to my sister who's a midwife and she explained that the baby we lost was lost for a reason and out with anyones control. It wouldn't have been a healthy pregnancy and wouldn't have resulted in a healthy baby which is why my body induced a miscarriage. It's a horrible thought but our bodies do what is best for us (although it doesnt feel like that at the time) and when I got pregnant again, it was completely different from the beginning and resulted in a super healthy baby. It may not help now but that pregnancy wasnt meant to be and the next one will be!! I do think looking after yourself is so important too, I let my anxiety take over a little as I was so scared of something terrible happening so dont let that happen xx

Lf89 · 19/11/2019 21:08

Sorry to hear about your MC. I had a MC at 5+5 16 days ago. I was told we could start trying again once I finished bleeding, and they only say to wait for a AF because it makes it easier to work out dates.
Had a week of high on the clearblue OPK, assumed maybe I wouldn't ovulate but we have been DTD, got my peak today though.

Original poster
danielasummer · 19/11/2019 21:01

@MrsSkr I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. Honestly, I know it sounds bitter and resentful but I just don't understand how some people find it so easy, and others like us suffer miscarriages (and some suffer multiple). It doesn't make sense in my head. I also suffer from anxiety which was heightened during pregnancy but I'm trying to control it now, for the sake of my mental health. I must say I'm not finding it easy. xx

I've just found this which has helped clear things up a little for me - www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/information/worried-about-pregnancy-loss/trying-again/

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MrsSkr · 19/11/2019 20:51

@danielasummer sorry yes that's what I meant, a d&c. Mine was natural yes, I was seen at hospital for bloods but didnt need any treatment. I think it's a personal thing, I really wanted to get pregnant again asap and it did work out for me but tbh, I was left with alot of anxiety which I believe is from the mc. I couldnt say if I'd have been the same had I waited. I think if you feel well, are healed and well mentally, go for it. But equally, if you are in any doubt then waiting a month wouldn't hurt (it will hurt emotionally since all you want is a baby of course!) xx

Original poster
danielasummer · 19/11/2019 20:36

@MrsSkr sorry for another message, but I forgot to ask what you meant by invasive - do you mean a d&c? As I just had medical management. Did you have natural if you don’t mind me asking? X

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Original poster
danielasummer · 19/11/2019 18:48

@MrsSkr Hi, thank you. I'm sorry for your loss also Flowers

Thank you for your story. I hope I fall as quickly as you did and have a successful outcome. Just desperate to be pregnant again whilst also missing my little one that I've just lost x

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MrsSkr · 19/11/2019 18:32

Hi, sorry about your miscarriage. I was given the same advise but was subsequently told it is mainly to ensure you are mentally ready and for dating (my mc was quite early on, may be different if you required more invasive management).
I didnt wait afterwards, got pregnant straight away and my wee girl turns 3 next month. Good luck x

Original poster
danielasummer · 19/11/2019 18:24

@chanklybore thank you for your reply. I'm so sorry for your losses. Glad you managed to get pregnant so quickly. They do say you're most fertile after a miscarriage so pinning my hopes onto that x

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