TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 33- huddle up and bring on the BFP's

@avocuddles I know the feeling 😔 we just have to focus on ourselves and less on others I think (difficult when it's all around you... my SIL is giving birth in March). It will be our turn soon, it's positive we're currently getting some help!

@MrsG3 my dr told me to take baby aspirin from 1 DPO, so during 2ww. And continue during the first 12 weeks if I get pregnant. I don't have any clotting issues (that I know of), but I've had a mmc and an early loss at 5 weeks, so all the help I can get I guess..

Hey everyone ♥️

Age 24 years old
2 MC
1 at 5 weeks and another at 7 weeks.
2 beautiful rainbow babies. 🌈

That’s tough @Avocuddles I find comments like that hard. Hopefully our time will come but I agree it’s not knowing. If I have to wait two years, for example, then I’d feel better knowing that but I’m the meantime I have no idea if I’m putting so much time and energy into something that might not materialise. I’m still hopeful for 2020!

Hi @MrsG3 I would assume at least until you get a BFP, and probably for the first twelve weeks, though I'd maybe leave a message with the receptionist and ask them to check? I have a history of blood clotting and I have to start taking low dose aspirin when I get a BFP (along with daily blood thinning injections). I've read about numerous women who are told to take it from ovulation onwards, in particular those who have CPs / very early losses. Mine have both been between 7 and 8 weeks so I guess there's not felt to be a need for me to take it during the 2WW though I will ask my consultant about it at my next appointment.....

@tmc14 I received several letters after my losses including one telling me off for not attending my 12 week scan! You would hope in this day and age that systems would be more joined up but it seems to happen repeatedly. I hope you manage to find some enjoyment on your birthday.

@MissSparkles81 hope day one of work went well and also hope that you don't have to wait too long for a response to your complaint.

Feeling a bit up and down this week. DHs close friend's baby was born on Saturday, their due date was within a few days of our first due date so although I'm looking forward to meeting their gorgeous little one I can't help but feel sad when I see photos and read comments about how 'nothing can beat the feeling of when your child is born'. I just wish I knew if I would ever get to experience that myself, or whether I am destined to never have my own child. It's the not knowing which is hardest!

Morning ladies 😀 how are we all? Wonder if anyone may know the answer to this?...

After a mmc in October and a cp in December my doctor suggested I try taking low dose aspirin. I've been taking this for a week or so now but realised I forgot to ask her how long you're supposed to take it for. Is there a set time?

@MissSparkles81 just wanted to wish you all the best for day one of work! X

@misssparkles81 I don’t think my DH will go for it but I think having the potential of an alternative route is the only thing keeping me sane right now!

@tmc14 I cant believe you are still receiving letters. Thats awful. They have no idea the impact of receiving these letters are. Big hugs xx

@tmc14 yeah you did mention that ... I dunno if thats for us either but if things dont improve then I would seriously consider it. Thats if we can actually get to that point too ... if you catch my drift 🙈

Oh, also yes well done @MissSparkles81on the complaint. I’m waiting to hear back from mine as I’m still receiving letters about my ante natal appointments. Even if nothing happens, it’s good to have these things recorded. x

Hi all, ah lots to catch up on again...

@MissSparkles81. I’m sorry last night didn’t go well. I can’t remember if I said after the last chat about this, but I think if my DH can’t manage it this month at any time then I might try and suggest AI, although I really don’t think he’ll take it well. As well as ttc, is really also just like to have sex with my husband. Is very difficult, you have my sympathies. Can you talk to your husband about it? When we first got together and this was an issue, my DH would talk openly about it, but now it’s to do with ttc, he’s quite closed. 🤷🏻‍♀️

AF arrived this week, which was actually good as we hadn’t dtd, and I hadn’t been able to get a positive opk, so I’m just happy to be moving onto the next cycle. I turn 40 this week. Was actually really looking forward to it when I was pregnant, but now not so much. I’ve got the day off work so am just going for a nice day out with DH and our toddler. No big celebration as don’t think I’d enjoy it.

Much love to all x

Fingers crossed for you @Treaclepie19

I’m sorry to hear that @MissSparkles81 but we’ll done ok the complaint. I think it’s important that these things are fed back and if it helps get it off your mind to some degree

Oh I almost forgot I also submitted my official complaint to the hospital about the way I was treated in A+E during the MC. I know that it wont change things but I feel better for getting it out of my head xx

Hi everyone apologies for being a bit quiet ... im back to work tomorrow and feeling a bit anxious about it all. Im also due AF this week and the timing could not have been worse 😕

I don't know if anyone has been following my problems with my partner and performance issues but we tried again last night and even without the pressure of it being the right time of the month it didnt end well.

I really dont know how to fix this 😪

Hi all, I hopped off for a bit because we weren't ttc. We're still not officially but there is a slight chance since we dtd on cd14.
Off to read back, hope you're all okay ❤

@SunStruck thank you - the two cp's happened 4 and 6 days following positive tests. I knew both times it was probably a chemical because the line wasn't as strong as my MMC. I didn't tell anyone about those as like you, I felt differently having not seen heartbeat etc like at MMC.

Definitely feel pressured too - we also really want the whole baby in 2020 too and the reality of that is stressful...! Wishing you lots of luck, I really hope it happens for you and you get your 2020 baby!!!

@Avocuddles - thank you. I've been following your journey a little bit over a few different threads and my heart goes out to you - you seem so strong and you've definitely made me give myself a kick up the bum sometimes!!

I would have said about CD14-15 @Mumlili8 similar to what @Avocuddles 🤞

@avocuddles that sounds like an amazing plan! It is true that life gets put on hold for this. I do feel hopeful for both of us though as we have both been pregnant before, we have an issue with long cycles but we're getting some help... it will work :)

Will they put you on any other meds in TWW?

@Avocuddles and @sunstruck
Thank you, I know my women are having babies older now but guess it's only natural to worry x

@Mumlili8 the article below is worth a read. The short answer is that it's not 100% clear as it does vary by woman but it's probably between CD13 and CD15 based on your opks. Those are amazing strong lines though - I don't think I've ever had one stronger than 1.0 even on the month I conceived!

www.avawomen.com/avaworld/long-lh-surge-last/

@SunStruck I'm pretty sure I didn't ovulate in the end. My high was only a 0.6 and ever since then my Fitbit heart rate has been steadily dropping where you would usually expect the opposite after ovulation (similar to BBT). On the months I conceived my luteal phase was 12 days so I will see if AF turns up next weekend, if she doesn't I'll take a pregnancy test to confirm that nothing happened and I'll try to get booked in for a 'no bleed' scan with the clinic so that I can take the period inducing meds and then start on the letrozole. The clinic seem to be very helpful based on my initial appointment, I feel very grateful for being able to access this support via the NHS.
I used to give myself that pressure to conceive. We started TTC in spring 2018 and I was very much in the 'Baby in 2019' camp but it took year to fall pregnant the first time and if that pregnancy had worked out I would have been due last week so 2019 was never on the cards. Where my head is at is that I would just love to have a healthy baby ONE DAY, and whether that's this year or a couple down the line the end result is all that matters. I do however think that if we get to 2021 without a successful pregnancy that DH and I will re-evaluate this journey as I don't feel that I want to put either of us through this indefinitely. I'll be 37 by the end of the year so although the clock is very much ticking the physical 'end' of the road is still somewhere off but if even with the support of the fertility clinic we're not in a good position then it might be that we step back completely and make 2021 the year to travel and experience life after several years on putting life on hold. I think it is helpful for me to have the prospect of something positive to look forward to if this year doesn't work out. If I do have a third loss in the coming months then I'm going to seek a referral to the national miscarriage clinic to see if there are any trials I can get involved with. The more I think about the more clear it is to me that this year is the one for throwing everything we have at TTC, then next year is the one where it's all about us no matter what. Based on my journey so far I'm pretty sure we would only have 1 DC if we get that lucky, I don't feel in a position to even consider timings for having a second (much as we'd like it) as I just don't think it's very likely.

@Samk79 congratulations! It's natural to be nervous but I've come across many women in their forties on these boards who have had 'plain sailing' pregnancies so hopefully you will experience the same.

@turquoisebaby I hope you don't have to wait too long for AF. And yes I am so hoping that 2020 will be the year for all of us!

@didslysquiddlydoo yes I have experienced people not mentioning or asking, I think some people just don't know what to say or do so keep silent rather than risk causing offence. My dad is one of these, he has never mentioned either of my miscarriages. I imagine your 2WW will feel like it's dragging on forever but fingers crossed in about 10 days time you might get the result you hope for.....

@Samk79 congratulations! :) I know it's more worrying when you're older (I'm 36 and had a MMC last year at 10 weeks and then a natural mc after that at 5-6 weeks) but this is my first, no kids prior. Keeping all fingers and toes crossed for you and that all will go well!

@avocuddles oh finally the ball is rolling! 😄 hopefully you get on the meds soon. Did you ovulate in the end, are you in TWW?

@Mumlili8 definitely ovulated! 🤩 did you manage to dtd?

@turquoisebaby 2020 will definitely be our year!

@didsysquiddlydoo I actually didn't tell anyone (apart from DH) about the second miscarriage. It was so early and no fetal pole was seen, so to me it didn't feel like a real pregnancy so to speak (compared to my first time when I saw heart beat etc). It's just annoying it sets you back in the TTC game because you need to wait for it to stop bleeding, get a negative on test and then wait for cycle to start again... at 36 I don't feel I have much time when im TTC for number 1 and we want 2 😣 I'm sorry for your losses, how early did you lose your two others after mmc?

One of mine and DH:s. New Years resolutions is "Baby in 2020". I just realized that it means we need to conceive by March to be within a chance to give birth this year. The pressure is on 😔 Do you ladies feel pressured?

I'm on 6 DPO currently by the way. My luteal phase is short at 10 days, but I won't test early this time. It's like pissing on money 🙄💸💸💸

Hi all,

@samk79 - congratulations - I really hope things all work out for you! You definitely won't be starting all over again - you will have learnt so much from raising your other children - I hope you are able to start getting excited soon!!

Last time I updated in here I was experiencing a chemical in the second month of TTC following MMC. I was disappointed, obviously, but thankfully it didn't affect me as badly as the MMC did - we tried again last month and again had another chemical - is this something others have experienced following a later miscarriage?!

Anyway, onwards and upwards (that second chemical was harder to swallow!).. we have been trying again this month.. only 3dpo so a bit of a wait - not feeling confident!!

Bit sad that since my MMC nobody has asked me how I'm doing, not even my closest friends 😞 is this something others have struggled with?...

Happy New Year everyone!
I've had a read through the last few weeks of posts to try and keep up. Nice to see a BFP and that appointments are going in the right directions for some. For me I had the ERPC on 7th Dec and haven't had AF arrive yet so just a waiting game to see what happens. I have a scan on 15th to check out some ovarian cysts also. 2020 is going to be our year!