TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 33- huddle up and bring on the BFP's

@morganMom no need to keep DTD after confirmed ovulation (which is 24-48 hours after your peak), and you're temping so you know you've ovulated! Just relax tonight 😁😁😁

@mumlili8 I'm so sorry to hear that 😥 have a nice glass of wine and a bath this weekend, you deserve it! I hope AF passes quickly and painlessly ❤️

@lasandotto haha I know! I mean he would always come, but it annoyed me he thought day of the scan wasn't good just due to dress down 🙄 he would rather me book it for Wednesday but as I said, if it's a bad scan I don't want to go back to work straight away, I'd like a few days off to process. Yes we live in the Middle East! The blood test was good and the Dr said no need to re-test, so I'll just book my scan in for Thursday 6th of Feb 😄 when is your next scan? You're paying privately for it?

@avocuddles it's great they've agreed to see you to scan at 7 weeks! Just for your peace of mind. I'm also on a cocktail of meds, Pregnacare, omega 3, baby aspirin and progesterone pessaries. I'm glad we have this support, it's a scary time! I'm also thinking of maybe buying a digital pregnancy test to test end of next week (or beginning of week after) to see if it shows 3+? But it will ruin my day if it doesn't so I'm in two minds about it. I want to do it a few days before my scan just to not get my hopes up if it only shows 2 weeks for instance! 🤔

@bumblebee999 I also have a lot of cysts in my ovaries, but all hormone tests (and diabetes test) came back completely clear. I also don't have any of those traits typical for PCOS. I really think it won't be a problem for you to conceive with a sticky one - Me and @avocuddles are exactly the same in terms of PCO, but still pregnant 3 times in the space of 9 months. the thing is that me and. @avocuddles are 36 years old, so this might be one of the reasons for miscarriages (not necessarily PCO). How old are you? One supplement you should definitely try to improve egg quality (as I've heard this could be a bit diminished when you have cysts in ovaries) is myo-inisotol. I've taken them for months now and I think it helps regulating the cycle (and apparently helps improve the egg quality). Another supplement I have been taking for egg quality is CoQ10, but I've taken the stronger version called ubiquinol which is the concentrated version. My fertility Dr recommends to take both to improve egg quality, especially for us with PCO.

I also find temping helps immensely. I'm using Naturalcycles. I do also use Clearblue Advanced Digital OPK though, and mostly it has worked on me. It hasn't really worked the cycles after my miscarriages (I never got a solid smiley, just blinking), but I know I did ovulate as I was temping.

@ldawg I live abroad and we have good private healthcare through work which covers pregnancy, so I'm only paying a tiny cover charge (less than 10 quid) for extra scans because I'm high risk (recurrent miscarriage). However, it does not cover fertility treatment, so when I was on my Letrozole protocol we had to pay for the scans (to monitor follicle growth) and meds ourselves.

@BunnytheBlueWhale
Hey there! Haven’t been able to post as much so just checking in . I have a question since you were talking about being fertile before ov I wanted to know how long after your peak do u DTD? I am 4 days out from my peak sign and 3 days possible since ovulation cuz my temp went up so I calculated 2 days prior . How long do you usually stop doing the deed after peak? My DH is kinda tired . And me too!

@SunStruck oh my god your DH sounds as thoughtful as mine in this instance! 🤦🏼‍♀️ I mean... dress down dilemma or accompany you to the scan?! So when is the scan? Are you in the Middle East, seeing as you're off on Fridays? I thought so before as you had mentioned it beforehand that you're back to work on Sunday's. Glad you're feeling fine otherwise and blood test was good also, are they re-testing?

@Shefliesonherownwings good luck during your fertile cycle, I've got my fingers crossed for you! Sending you lots of love as I know you're having a tough time!

@Ldawg I've paid for all my tests privately after my second MC and am now paying for pregnancy monitoring privately too. My OH and I had parked some money for investigations or IVF or whatever it may be needed for, so that's what's we are using it for now. Let's hope we are third time lucky.

@Avocuddles I respect the NHS but some things are so backwards at times and complicated. Unnecessarily adding to your already stressful situation I bet but sounds like you navigate it all and you're fine. We've got each other through the next few weeks for handholds!!!!

@mrsmb03 yes unfortunately a lot of pain for maybe 4 hours after that less painful and I bled for 4 days during which it was manageable pain just like period pains. No I had a scan at 8 weeks which showed heartbeat and the baby the correct size for 8 weeks. I didn’t have another scan until after the miscarriage at 12 weeks that was only to Confirm that it had completed.

@Bumblebee999 I see. Wow. In a way you were lucky that you didn't have to have the awful wait of a 2nd scan and wait to miscarry. Were you in a lot of pain when you were bleeding? How many days did you bleed? Was the pain manageable just like period cramps? Was it your first pregnancy? The baby was 8 weeks on your 12 week scan? Sorry so many questions.

Thank you and Good luck.

@mrsmb03 forgot to say- no follow up scans or appointments they just advised me to come back if I didn’t get a negative pregnancy test in 2 weeks but I did get one so there is no more follow up x

@mrsmb03 no I really don’t mind sharing I have benefitted from hearing others’ stories. I did bleed without warning at 12 weeks. I had strong pregnancy symptoms until that point, nausea etc. I just got period like cramps one day that progressed to light bleeding within an hour or so, over the next 8 hours I got extremely heavy bleeding and ended up in hospital. I had an internal examination and scan which confirmed the pregnancy had ended and that I had had a complete miscarriage. I hope reading this doesn’t scare or worry anyone who is pregnant, just sharing my story. I know that many women with cramps or light bleeding go on to have healthy pregnancies. X

@Bumblebee999 Thanks for sharing your story. Did you just bleed without a warning after your 12 week scan? Did they ask you to come back for another scan? How did the miscarriage happen. Sorry don't answer if it's bit too much to say.

To everyone on here. You are all very strong ladies. I'm glad I came on here. I don't feel so alone anymore. It's been very helpful to hear your stories, struggles and triumphs. You'll be in my prayers.

@Avocuddles oh I see so maybe it is more common than I thought. I had one cycle 60 days and the rest had been 30s-40s day cycles, this was for about a year before I went for investigations. Although they did find cystic ovaries, I believe now that my cycles were irregular mostly due to stress and panic because once I chilled out and started to monitor temp, realised I was ovulating (I just had in my head that I wasn’t Which added to my stress) everything started to normalise and the cycles went into the normal range. Easier said than done to “de-stress” but I had been bereaved at the start of that time and that may have been a factor which got better with time. The dr I saw during investigations had mentioned clomid If I had problems conceiving but things had normalised so much by then I didn’t need it. Will see how this MC impacts my ovulation now though... the prolactin was one of a range of bloods they took at GP- a High level can indicate a gland tumour but mine hadn’t quite reached that range- the gynaecologist told me it can be stress related and it should just be monitored every now and again. That was all before I conceived though so I’m wondering now if I saw a gynaecologist would they be more interested in the prolactin level- it might not have been at a dangerous level for me but maybe it was for foetus? Not sure but if I find out I will post here in case of use to anyone else x

@LASandOtto very glad all seems well for you at the moment.

I spent m half of the morning on the phone to the GP, fertility clinic and the other hospital where I see the consultant re my clotting, I love the NHS but sorting things out is a nightmare sometimes! Our local area is planning on consolidating maternity services from the current three hospitals into one over the next few years but as things currently stand it's hard work.
As I wrote in my reply below initially the fertility clinic weren't willing to see me as I conceived naturally before starting my meds. I got a bit teary and they agreed I can come in at 7 weeks. No talk of bloods or other support but I think that's standard here if you have had fewer than 3 losses. I'm not that concerned about bloods as neither of my miscarriages were at a very early stage, and I know that if this turns out to be a chemical there's nothing I can do to change that. I am however regularly peeing on a stick (POAS for those enquiring about acronyms! ), I have a load of cheapies so I'm using one daily and an FRER every few days to get reassurance from seeing that line.

I had been prescribed high strength vit d whilst TTC so several phone calls were relating to that - eventually we got to the conclusion that I stop taking the monthly prescription pills and just stick to standard supplements. I'm now taking enoxaparin injections (for my health more than the potential baby), aspirin, pregnacare max, plus an additional vit d pill and an additional folate pill. I'm going for a blood test later in the week to check my vitamin d levels which hopefully will be improved now. I'd like to try to stay relaxed and distract myself from everything but it's pretty impossible with that regime and endless appointments to make!

@Ldawg in my second pregnancy I initially went for a private scan but managed to get an nhs referral via my GP after things didn't look right in that scan. This fine round I've managed to persuade the hospital to give me one at 7 weeks - I got pretty upset when they said I couldn't have one after my previous experiences so they agreed I could come in, but even after 2 miscarriages this isn't offered as standard in my area.....

@Bumblebee999 I'm in a similar boat to you too - I don't have a PCOS diagnosis but have been told my ovaries are 'borderline'. Unlike @SunStruck it doesn't appear that I do ovulate every month, but I have conceived three times now over 9 months (after a year of nothing) so I have definitely ovulated at least three times! The cycles when I have conceived have been relatively short ones - ovulating around day 22 - but some of my other cycles have been 60+ days long. I was due to start letrozole treatment this week and as @SunStruck says maybe that could be an option for you? I've also found acupuncture helpful - my cycles have generally been shorter since I started it and it's good for stress and wellbeing.

How did you find out about your high prolactin levels? I've had so many blood tests through the fertility clinic but not sure if this is one of them?

@LASandOtto so glad everything went well with the scan. I'm keeping everything crossed for you this time and for others who are in the early stages as well. Fingers crossed we all get some good news soon.

Thanks everyone. DH is out tonight but we DTD last night so I think we'll go with every other day for this week and see how we get on. I just found out a cousin of DHs is pregnant with her second. That's 4 people we know now who are dye in the first half of this year. Makes me want it to be us even more now.

So lovely to be seeing all these positives! Of course, early days but I have everything crossed for you all!! Fills the rest of us with hope!

I miscarried in November and have had a fairly long recovery. I'm currently on the pill in an attempt to stop the bleeding (worked well, just hoping it has reset everything and doesn't come back once I'm off pill). I'm literally counting down the days until I finish this pack to try again!! Have read that you may even be more fertile following miscarriage so I'd agree as long as you are emotionally ready I'd go for it.

Can I ask, are you all paying for private early scans or do you get these on NHS following miscarriage?

Also, not great with all these abbreviations 🙈

@SunStruck ah and you’re the first person I’ve met with the same as me! Yes the scan showed polycystic appearance on both ovaries but I didn’t have the other symptoms (although my LH and FSH levels were “mildly” reversed) so that wasn’t enough to diagnose PCOS. I also began ovulating regularly, with a bit of a variance in ovulation day- could be from day 17 to day 22, but predictable 13 days post ovulation to period. I found temperature charting a life changer as I had a marked change after I ov’d. I never had much luck tracking with sticks or CM. I conceived on first cycle, but then sadly miscarried of course. I think (and hope) that the polycystic ovaries are not significant now as I know I can conceive...but worry if the egg quality of affected or if my high prolactin contributed to miscarriage. I guess I won’t know until (and if) I conceive again. Congratulations on your pregnancy it really is encouraging to read good news- thanks for sharing

@lasandotto oh great news! 😃 I'm happy to hear all went well. So how far along did they date you now? About OH - That's annoying. It's exactly the same with us, I'm at the hospital A LOT for various tests and DH can't keep up. We also had an argument the other day - Dr told me I need to come back in 2 weeks for the viability scan (my hcg test was a good value and normal this time around thank god!), so I told DH I want to book Thursday (which is the last day of the week for us), and he's obviously coming. He said 'Thursday is dress down day, and if I need to nip out for a scan I need to fake an external meeting at work (as we're not telling anyone yet), and I don't want to wear a suit on a Thursday". Wtf?!?! I want to book a the last day of the week so I can go home and grieve if it's a negative scan! Last time (my mmc) I made the mistake of booking a scan in the morning midweek, I had to go back to work and pretend nothing happened 😡 They really have no idea sometimes I think!!!!

@bumblebee999 oh you are the first one I've met that have the same thing as me - PCO but not the syndrome! It's difficult because you don't know how much it actually affects your fertility. In my case, I always ovulate every month but it's just very late (ovulating on the 21-25 day, 10 day luteal phase). I've got some help bringing ovulation forward to 'get more chances' in trying for a baby, so this could be an option if you're the same as me? I'm pregnant now, early days though!

@sunflower1608 I see a line!!!! Definitely test again tomorrow, but congratulations.. 🥰

@missparkles81 thank you 🥰

@avocuddles how are you today? Xx

I second @bunnythebluewhale , always have sex when you notice EWCM! I have always got a positive OPK test a day or two later. For biggest chance of conception, having sexual a few days before means sperm will already be waiting for he egg when it's released. Due to a short surge sometimes, you can miss the window if you only have sex when you get a positive OPK as it can take a while for sperm to swim to the right place!

@mrsmb03 I don’t mind you asking at all :) I’m glad to be able to talk about these things! I was 12 weeks and I had a total miscarriage (no medical intervention). I had a scan at 8 weeks that showed heartbeat and good size so no idea what happened after that.

I was advised at hospital to use condoms or abstain from sex until Bleeding stopped but this was to avoid infection. I was told I could TTC as soon as I wanted but that a negative pregnancy test would help with dating and confirm that any new pregnancy was a new one, and not residual hcg from the miscarriages. My partner isn’t ready to try again in any event, but I was keen to know of my body was getting back to normal cycles. I find it reassuring to know that I could (maybe) conceive if I tried. So emotional these days!

A bit more about me in case helpful for you or anyone else on here- I have polycystic ovaries but do not have PCOS (the syndrome). I found this out when I had scans due to irregular periods about a year ago. Since then I had been using temperature to measure ovulation and by reducing stress had managed to get regular cycles, usually 31-33 days. One persistent problem I have had (for over a year) is high prolactin and I have been wondering if this contributed to my miscarriage. Googling it it seems it can contribute to miscarriage but I’m not sure.

@Shefliesonherownwings I have never had noticeable CM but was ovulating every month as confirmed by Temperatures and the pregnancy, so I never found it a reliable method. I do know that others find it very reliable though. Best of luck to you.

@Avocuddles @Shefliesonherownwings hey lovely ladies! Thanks for asking about how it went. I was a nervous wreck.

I had a huge argument with DH yesterday as he said 'so when are you back at the clinic?' and I said  errr tomorrow morning (i.e. today), we have a scan at 9.40am? And he responds 'oh well you didn't tell me that, I've got a dentist appointment at that time.' Anyway, I lost my sh*t and showed him my WhatsApp from Friday where I had told him that we'd have a scan Monday. He kept arguing I didn't say a time and wouldn't it have made sense that I would've mentioned that it would be at 9.40am bla bla. Anyway, I was enraged and said I felt like I'm the one carrying all the burden, all he needs to do is wait for my messages and updates from when I've been to the clinic (and I've been there almost every two days since week 4). I'm here taking loads of medication, injection, you name it - it's not easy and whilst I'm resilient the nerves about the scan obviously got the better of me. We were all fine eventually yesterday but it did really annoy me. It's not easy as I'm sure sometimes you think being so closely monitored is more reassuring (and it is) but it's a huge expense too and I just hope so much that all will be well!

Went this morning and they even fit me in early which was so appreciated and we could see all measured ok on scan and HB was seen, they seemed fine with that. I'm waiting to hear on blood results.

So it's a relief we've crossed this hurdle today but I know that there's a lot more to come as I've seen HB's before and had bad news a week after. I'm there next on the 31/01 all else being well, fingers crossed.

How are you both?

@Avocuddles did you speak to your consultant already? Are you doing any blood tests or just going to wait and see?

@Shefliesonherownwings hope getting back to TTC is ok for you, I was never very good with tracking cervical mucus so I ended up buying the CM Digital Monitor for £80 odd on Amazon and I found it helpful. I generally despise peeing on sticks but my DH and I do have jobs that mean we are away some nights so, the fun times need to be a bit more scheduled.

@mrsmb03 the general advice is wait one cycle, but that's just for dating purposes. Technically you can get on to trying to conceive immediately after a negative test. But honestly wait it should be when the person feels emotionally and physically ready. I obsessed about getting immediately caught again and it was like miscarrying all over again when I came on my period.

@tmc congratulations from getting past this hurdle. I know it's a typo loving instead of moving... But defo get the loving on 😆
Fingers crossed

Tentative congratulations @Sunflower1608 keeping everything crossed for you x

@Shefliesonherownwings I used to get ewcm for 2-3 days before the opk peak. Since my miscarriage in October, I’ve had no peak at all, but a regular 28/9 day cycle and ewcm around days 11-13 so from my experience I’d go with dtd when you get ewcm and not worrying about opks too much.

After performance issues since the MC, we finally managed to dtd last night. Had a really good open chat with DH & he agreeed to AI at home if needed. I really didn’t think he’d go for it, and that took the edge of enough that we actually managed to do it anyway. Feel like a huge weight has been lifted and that we’re both on the same page for loving forward. I’m on CD 13 now, so hopefully in with a chance. Will hopefully also try tonight or tomorrow as well 🤞

Wishing everyone good wishes xx

@mrsmb03 to be honest the main thing about TTC again is making sure that you feel ready. After my first miscarriage we tried again as soon as my miscarriage was over and I'd had a negative pregnancy test (this is the important bit medically), however in retrospect it was too soon, I wasn't mentally or physically healed yet.
Second time round we took a couple of months out before we tried again and I do feel emotionally a lot stronger now and more prepared to face whatever the future holds.

Feel free to ask for any abbreviations to be explained! First one.....EWCM = egg white cervical mucus!

@BeeBeeW good luck for the 29th!

@Avocuddles Thank you I have been lying down sleeping and praying a lot, been off for a few days at work but will be back tomorrow. My second scan is on Friday. You have some good news I wish you luck. I'm quite new here so not really understanding half the time what the abbreviations mean. But wish you all the best!

So are people trying as soon as they ovulated after the miscarriage bleeding ended? Is there a medical recommendation on when women should TTC again?