TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 33- huddle up and bring on the BFP's

@Mumlili8 What crystals do you use and what's the theory behind them? I am quite interested in this, my beautician who suffered MCs mentioned therapy with crystals to me. I was not a believer, but having tried acupuncture and reflexology, I found that they had a very positive effect on me and I'd happily try any treatments that improve my energy flow xxx

Hello ladies

I hope you don't mind me joining. I have two older children from a previous marriage but started ttc with my new husband last year. I fell pg in jan but it sadly ended in mmc which I had to have surgery for.

I'm 40 and my husband is 46, although we aren't taking any precautions, my husband now thinks we are too old ☹️

Hello all.... just saw this thread, thought I'd say hi

I'm 30yrs old. Had my first daughter 2 years ago now, and on 6th TTC cycle for baby number 2.... had 2 cp, including last month. Finding it a bit difficult to get excited again but going to keep trying. Wishing you all the best!

@Winkat I have a keepsake bracelet from Etsy and a keepsake box which I ordered from Amazon and decorated myself. @Avocuddles I am thinking about a tattoo too, although I haven't got any and I don't think tattoos suit me, but I would be fine with a discreet one. Xxx

@Avocuddles I so agree with you. I may have been fitter, hotter and more of a party animal (these days it's very rare I'm out, out...and never out, out, out 😂), but my life and mindset are so much better in my 30s.

Re travelling, I had two cycles in the past, one 46 days after travelling to Italy and one 57 days after my trip to Australia. Normally they're off by about 5 days whenever I go abroad, no matter how far xxx

@Winkat I have called the GP this afternoon x

@Avocuddles My period came on the day it was due and was my regular flow and lasted the full 5 days as usual. It's all a bit messed up.

@Winkat I also have a similar bracelet. I like wearing it because it reminds me of what I have experienced in a subtle way.
I've also considered a tattoo. Someone I know has three tiny hearts on her wrist to represent her her stilllbirth and two subsequent miscarriages, I think it's lovely to have a permanent memorial to her daughter and other losses.

@turquoisebaby what was your period like? I guess based on the dates it would suggest that it might have been an implantation bleed (I thought they were a myth but heard from plenty of others that it sometimes does happen....)? Though if it was heavy that doesn't really make sense?

@Seahawk80 we go between Christmas and new year, will let you know what it's like! Enjoy your night out with your friend tonight.
I am definitely with you regarding being a planner - I like to always be thinking ten steps ahead and the inability to do that is a disconcerting part of the TTC journey.....

@MrsMGE travelling can definitely wreck havoc on cycles / the body in general - I've worked in China in the past and that would always make me feel out of balance, though I'm in the same time zone as the UK at the moment so probably not too much impact. Still no sign of AF but I am feeling a bit crampy so hope it might be coming soon. Just want to have a fresh new cycle!
I empathise completely with your comments around confidence and shaking off imposter syndrome. I've told younger colleagues a number of times that your 30s are so much better than your 20s and they shake their heads at me in disbelief, but I'd like to think that in ten years time they'll have the same perspective. Life has been tough over the past decade, but I'm also wiser, in a fantastic relationship (my 1st marriage having not been good....), I have a close circle of friends that I can really rely on and a job that I enjoy. I don't have a baby yet but all of those other pieces of the jigsaw are solid and that's hell of a lot better than when I was 20, 25 or 30.....

@turquoisebaby sounds like you need to get yourself to the GP! Fingers crossed for you :)

Someone mentioned something about getting a little keepsake to commemorate a loss (sorry I've lost track of who it was!), just want to say I totally get that. I have been considering getting a tiny tattoo but haven't got round to it yet! BUT I have just received a little fertility bracelet (from Etsy) with crystals that are meant to support fertility etc. I don't even know if I believe in crystals but I was drawn to getting something that 'helps'.
xxxx

Hi all, I'm mostly a watcher but I I'm so confused and was wondering if anyone had any insight.

So on cd12 I had a positive opk, I'm currently CD17 and 5DPO on a whim I decided to do another OPK and it came back positive, so I did a cheapie pregnancy test, blazing positive. Ran to Asda and got a CB Digital and it's saying 2-3 weeks. I had a MMC at the end of August and I have had a negative result since then to comfirm end of miscarriage. How can I possible be pregnant? Any idea whats happening to me? I'm a bit sceptical of it and don't want to trust the pregnanct test. Is it possible to have periods whilst pregnant?

Oh and nothing to do with TTC but @Avocuddles I'd love to know what Mamma Mia the party is like. Thinking of it with my mum and sisters for my 40th next year!

Oh and @tmc14 sorry the hospital called you about your appointment. It really is ridiculous that things aren't linked. I had that about an appointment and then my 20 week scan. It's the last thing you need.

Just having a catch up while watching lion king with DS for the 8 thousandth time, part of my problem is my brain is like a sieve these days so I catch up and then start to write a reply and can't remember what I wanted to say to people 😂 anyway here goes!

@tmc14 thank you this thread does race along doesn't it! I'd like to try to get into knitting etc. Problem is my mum is super good at that kind of thing so she knits hats / makes clothes / quilts for DS and mends / alters my clothes. I'm ashamed to admit I even give her tough stains to get out! I'm hoping to grow some more veg next year as last year I managed 10 potatoes.

@Avocuddles hope you had a lovely trip. My cycles are often random, AF was 5 days late last month. I now only test a day or 2 after I'm due so that I can't convince myself it's too early. I know what you mean about not knowing what will happen. I'm a planner and if someone could tell me when I'd have another child I'd be fine, even if it was a few years away. But that limbo feeling is tough, especially for your first. I do feel so lucky to have DS and one positive from all this is it does help me to be more patient on the challenging days with a toddler. Having fertility issues has made me feel like this from day 1, so a silver lining is that I do think it makes you a better parent when you finally get there.

@SunStruck I'd be the same this month, it will be nice to relax over Xmas and my birthdays the week before.

I'm going out with one of my nct friends tonight who had an mmc recently so we can have a good old moan about how unfair it all is.

@Avocuddles My cycles go funny every time I travel abroad, I have no idea whether it's related to flying, but every single time I go away abroad, they are longer. Could this have an impact on your cycles too? Xxx

Please can I join?

Age: 38
3 mc in June and December 2018 and July 2019
TTC since June 2017

We’ve put TTC on hold as we were referred to the local recurrent miscarriage clinic. Waiting is really really hard, but I tested positive for APS following my first recurrent miscarriage clinic appointment and I’m due the second set of blood tests next month which will confirm whether I definitely do have APS - ovulation is the week after that and will be doing my best for 4th time lucky x

Thanks @MrsMGE! I'm taking Pregnacare Max which looks like it contains the same but I'll look at the box properly once I'm back home at the weekend.

It looked like I wasn't ovulating at all but I (and my doctors) were proved wrong when I fell pregnant not once but twice. There is still likely to be an underlying issue however. If AF starts tomorrow that will be day 35 but any longer than that and it creeps into 'abnormal' territory. As I wasn't trying to conceive this cycle I'm not concerned about not ovulating from that point of view, but I just wish that things could be normal and regular so I could have the confidence that there was at least some possibility of a positive outcome.....

@Avocuddles This is the one I've got - I looked at the dose in the usual preconception supplements and this one was the closest. I don't recommend Holland & Barrett ones cause they have something crazy, like 5000+% recommended daily dose. I chose a safe bet not to go over the top before conceiving, too much is not good either.

34 days is still a fine cycle, and keep in mind you may have Od later, OPKs don't work for everyone. It's tricky with temps too, isn't it. I have a friend with PCOS and she had to buy Ovusense to work it all out as standard methods didn't work for her. Turns out she is ovulating. Don't worry just yet, you may well have Od but it may not have been picked up. Every woman has anovulatory cycles and even if this has happened to you, it might not happen again. Finally, you're right, if there's an issue, they'll likely give you Clomid to kick-start things. It will be OK. Xxx

@SunStruck I'd TOTALLY go to NZ if I were you! You'll have major regrets if you don't go. I see what you mean, but you remember all the conversations we've had about not planning our next pregnancies because it doesn't work like that and not putting our lives on hold because of the "what ifs"? Honestly, I'd be booking those flights and investing in good, comprehensive insurance, both travel and health. Obviously it's totally up to you, but truthfully, in the first trimester you'd be fine to fly anyway, even long haul. I personally would 100% book NZ for March 2020 if it wasn't for the fact that I need to save up 6k in cash for my little runner and I don't want a second loan before our remortgage. And of course end of the year is always expensive with Christmas etc.

I'm also looking forward to enjoying all the nice food and drinks around Christmas! Xxx

@LASandOtto I know what you mean. It's a shame you went with someone like this, it can be draining. But at least you have lots to look forward to before Christmas! How are you feeling before your appointment on Friday?

Like I said above, SunStruck and I had chats before about taking opportunities during TTC. In reality, things may take time for all of us, as we now know. So the conclusion was, there's no point in postponing things because who knows what's going to happen and when. Focusing our minds on something else is good for us now too. Obviously if you're happy where you are, there's no point in changing for the sake of it (and I take the point re having enhanced maternity etc), but if, for instance, you are not happy or you've had it on your mind for a while, then I'd say don't hold back. Men never do...and they'll need to look after the kids in the future too.

I'm debating between a Toyota Aygo and Peugeot 108, I only need it for short local drives so nothing over the top!

I'm doing OK, thanks, still meditate regularly, definitely going back to my gym & exercise after a 3 day break cause work has been so busy.

Thank you to you & @SunStruck for your kind words. It hasn't always been this way, but I've always been blunt and outspoken. Some don't take it well 😂 Confidence came after too many people tried to put me down, including an emotionally abusive ex-partner, after years of being underpaid, after working with several male bosses who were sexist and spoke to people like shit. I've had it, I'm done, I'm not taking this anymore - but I used to in my 20s. Now I know I'm better than the lot of them, I've worked harder, I know my stuff, and I'm not afraid to own it. We're in our 30s, we're obviously very switched on women, it's finally time to shake off the imposter syndrome, right? If not now, then when? Xxx

@MrsMGE can you share details of the vitamin b you are taking?

I'm suspecting this cycle is anovulatory. On the plus side this means that my fertility referral may prove to be worthwhile....

@ReeRi can't see your earlier post....but assume that's it's one that came after? If you've got lots of CM have you managed to DTD over the past few days?

@Murree the peg doll memorial sounds like a lovely idea.

@anny27 @Mumlili8 I completely agree re the stress of temping interrupting your sleep! I don't think it is accurate for me either - I was trying it the second time I conceived and all it did was convince me that I was 'out' for the month when actually I was pregnant!

@Mumlili8 the first time we DTD without protection was a week after what I believed was a positive opk. Although I'm now suspecting that I haven't actually ovulated this cycle which is frustrating given that the doctor performing my HyCoSy 3 weeks ago could see a ripe follicle waiting to be released....
I really hope this is the one for you!!!! Three years is such a long time. 19 months for me now and that feels like a lifetime. I just wish I knew where our journey will take us. The not knowing is the hardest part of the TTC experience in my opinion.

@turquoisebaby my cycles are unfortunately long and irregular. I'd been referred for fertility treatment before I conceived for the first time as my cycle were always 35+ days, and am fortunate enough to still be seeing them under the NHS. I was optimistic that my cycles had improved when I had my first AF just 30 days after my second miscarriage but I'm now on CD34 so that hasn't turned out to be true
On the plus side have my next fertility appointment on December 12th and am assuming the next step will be to try clomid....has anyone on here been down that route?

On a completely unrelated note, I know we've had a few conversations on here about books recently and have a recommendation to share....
I raced through 'Expectation' by Anna Hope this morning (can't beat holiday reading) and really enjoyed it. It follows the lives of four fictional women in their mid-late thirties and examines a number of issues and experiences with which many of us are familiar. It does include infertility and miscarriage so if you find that triggering be warned, but I would definitely recommend it to fans of contemporary fiction, Sally Rooney etc....

@Mumlili8 I felt quite emotional reading your post, I think it's a lovely idea and every single one of your blankets is a beautiful keepsake. So special. Xxx

@Avocuddles My LP after the MMC was short, around 9 days. Then it got longer, luckily, and it seems to be 12-13 days now. I've been taking B complex and put myself on a fertility friendly diet and it seems to have helped (but maybe things have just got better naturally over time?).

Did you DTD in the run up to O at all?

And are you sure you ovulated then, were you temping to confirm that you have? It definitely wasn't an anovulatory cycle?

I'm having a bit of a temping nightmare, like I said earlier I've been feeling a bit yuck few times recently, my nosecwas blocked and I was breathing through my mouth in the night. I can tell the temps were not right as a result, and annoyingly, it's happened just before and just after the time when I suspect I ovulated. OPKs seem to suggest one thing, FF has gone crazy now and changed my O date to a later one, then today it gave me a warning that O pattern may not have been detected, urgh. I temped this morning and it first showed 36.10C when my mouth was really cold, and then within a minute or so I took another reading and it was 36.75C. Crazy stuff, girls. I think I'm going to have to temp again next month to have a better idea of my O date these days xxx

Hello everyone, hope you're all well!
Back to work this week after the CP last week, my boss was lovely and said I didn't have to be back yet (was so tempted to bugger off home haha) but i need to get back to normal.
I bought a little peg doll to go on my memorial shelf and I really think that helped me get my head around what was happening and start to move on.

Bleeding has just about stopped now thank goddness, hoping to DTD this weekend - more because I'm horny than TTC
Tomorrow I have to do my test to confirm that the pregnancy has finished although I am pretty sure it would be a miracle if it hadn't.

@Avocuddles my LP is about 12 days normally.