TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 33- huddle up and bring on the BFP's

@Anny27 i always wake up earlier than i need to be "excited to temp" we sound exactly the same - I wake up multiple times in the night and temp, only to realise it's 1.30am, 3am, 5.20am, 6am... then my temps are all skew-iff! What are we like!?

@Mumlili8 hi, I know this was last week but I saw you mentioned this:

I just hope I actually ovulate with in 36 hours this cycle as it took 4 days from peak to ovulation last cycle, by which time we had stopped dtding because I thought it was an anovulation cycle.

I had a peak (EWCM) on Tuesday and Wednesday this week, but my BBT hasn't risen yet.. did this happen to you? I didn't measure today to be fair but the past few days my temp has been in the high 35s, so nowhere near high.

Trying to get some answers/experiences as this is very strange for me as usually the temp rises the day after EWCM. I should mention that we are trying for #1 after a miscarriage in October (we haven't waited for my period to arrive) so this could possibly be anovulation...any ideas? Thanks for reading :)

It's so sad to hear everyone's stories, but there is so much hope on this thread. I read someone who said they didn't want hope (over infertility) as they just kept getting let down, but I just think if we don't keep hoping what do we do?

I have ewcm today which is way earlier than expected but if I count the first day of bleeding as cd1 this is roughly in line with my regular cycle so we've agreed to DTD later. Ironically not with much hope, just to get back on the horse if you see what I mean 🤣

@Anny27 I have a little angel to go on our Christmas tree too 😊

@LASandOtto Glad to hear I could help. It sounds really good, very professional - it's what you need now. It sounds like it's been useful already! Fingers crossed for you and DH. How are you today?

I'm good, just off to do some Christmas shopping. We're buying gifts for disadvantaged children through a charity, if anyone needs ideas, I recommend The Works - they have a fab sale of arts & crafts on atm. We're having friends over tomorrow and then I need to prep for my interview next week, so a busy weekend ahead!

@Avocuddles Have a good journey home! Welcome back to the rainy and cold UK! Xxx

@mumlili8 totally - if i didnt temp it would give me more stress haha! We arent ttc untill first periof comes so i am enjoying the temp free life at the moment :p

@avocuddles i think temping is quite accurate for me but i always wake up earlier than i need to be "excited to temp" and then it wakes the cat up and he wants cuddles then so i never get back to sleep 😂 i might try only temping up untill confirmed ovulation next time

@MrsMGE when i go abroad my cycles are longer, even small changes in your circadian rhythm can interrupt cycle length!

We just ordered a small christmas ornament to remember our baby which seems like a nice way given that the miscarriage was in the Christmas season (nearly..:p)

@LASandOtto I'm good thanks. Final night in Fuerteventura tonight (live music, cocktails....) then back to reality tomorrow evening. I'm working away next week (visiting all my suppliers down south) so it's a bit non stop but thankfully I don't have to travel with work as much as I used to.

I bought a Simba mattress not long ago and it's definitely been a game changer!

Very impressed about getting your sperm results immediately, it took months to get a full download after my DH had his on the NHS although we did get briefly told that everything looked good after a few days. What medication would they prescribe if you do get your BFP this cycle? I really hope your rainbow baby will be on their way very soon.....

Hi ladies!

Right now read a bit more properly and more less caught up!

@MrsMGE sister, thank you for your supportive words - just before walking into the appointment, I read it and it made me feel a lot calmer somehow! 🤞🏻😊 you're so right one step closer to rainbow baby hopefully!

It was really informative. DH had to give a sperm sample and then we were led upstairs to the consultation room with the consultant. Oh, sorry forgot - had to complete a ton of paperwork as mentioned. The consultant went through our medical history in depth, the miscarriages and what happened, asked about medications, etc etc. Very detailed! He then reviewed DH's sperm sample with us (yep, I was sooooo impressed they had already analysed the sample whilst we had been speaking upstairs, they've got a lab downstairs) and it all looked quite good aside from one measurement which however he said can be treated but again, overall all seems fine with DH. Relief number one. He did say nonetheless he will refer DH for a sperm DNA fragmentation also because of his age (41).

For me, he interestingly said the fact I already have one autoimmune disease (psoriasis; genetic) I may possibly have an issue with NK cells. He said there's a correlation there possibly and said he would advise me to have the Chicago test done. As a first step now though we will do one cycle monitoring, I'll have to call on CD1 and go in for a scan and bloods, then again on CD 14-16 approx and then again I think - they will email us the details from today's discussion.

With regards to TTC he said we could keep going if we wanted to (our choice) and if it so happened that I'd get PG next cycle, to call them immediately as they'll monitor and prescribe medication.

The ARGC has a reputation for last resort IVF and boot camp style IVF I've read but my experience today was nothing less than great. Very nice and very caring people!

So I feel ok, anxious now to see if they find something during cycle monitoring that's negative but at least then we can do something about it, I sincerely hope!

After all that stress was over we went to John Lewis and laid on every mattress they've got in their bed department 😂 we do need to buy one, but oh my I felt shattered after that nervousness wore off 😆😆 so was great to have a little lie down!

How are you doing my love @MrsMGE?

@Mumlili8 my friend is a master reiki teacher and she had told me lot about Reiki. I haven't tried it myself but my DH's mum is really versed in it too and a firm believer of the crystal and chakras. Your bracelets look gorgeous!!

@Seahawk80 hope you're ok and sorry AF has arrived. Someone is telling us all to enjoy Christmas and keep our energy for 2020!

@Avocuddles how are you doing? 😊 still busy I guess as you had a busy agenda prior to Xmas?

@VenusStarr sending you all my love! You're so strong for seeking support and I'm really proud of you! I've seen you on other threads and you've always been so helpful and kind to other women on here. I hope the sessions will help you. When I went years ago, I also always felt so drained. Very normal considering you're turning yourself inside out and explaining what's going on in your head. Keep going! We are here for you!

Lots of love to you all ladies xx

@Seahawk80 A relaxed birthday and Xmas sounds like a good thing, I certainly enjoyed my birthday and have been enjoying our holiday too without TTC on my mind. Shiny new bike sounds like a great idea too, I know several friends who've used the cycle to work scheme and it's certainly worth it from a financial perspective.

@LASandOtto how did the consultation go and what are the next steps? Each time I walk into the fertility clinic I'm not sure what scares me more, the thought of them finding an issue or the thought of them not finding something which renders me just 'unlucky'.....

Up to CD36 now so looks like the long and irregular cycles are back after the deceptive short one last month, grrrrr!

@LASandOtto Breathe, sista ❤️ It's overwhelming when it's all going on, but everyone is there to help you get closer to your rainbow baby, remember ❤️ It's all on the right track and if they find anything that can be worked on to improve your chances, they will. It's all positive, lovely. I'm with you xxx

So AF has just arrived. Feeling pretty gutted as I now won't be pregnant before my due date but I'm focusing on the positives like the timing will be better from next month, like I'll hopefully be on mat leave when DS starts school so I can be around to settle him and do the drop offs etc. Also I can really enjoy Xmas and my birthday now, and not just the drinking thing, just no stress about will everything be ok this time. Work have just launched a cycle to work scheme and my bike is so old and knackered, think I'm going to treat myself to a shiny new one of nothing happens next month so that's something to look forward to!

@SunshineCrocodile so sorry you are back here. Such a horrible time, of course you can't think about anything while still physically caring your baby. My experience was different as I had a TMFR but that time between finding out and having the termination was so hard. We decided we would try one more time but I soon felt that was too much of a "deadline" to me so we just decided we will try again, and if we have another loss we will see how we feel. I've also tried to make some plans in case we don't end up having another child like DH and I had a good chat and decided I'd take a months parental leave when DS starts school and that I will stay on 4 days a week at work so that I'm around for him at least 1 weekday.

@SunshineCrocodile sorry for posting without acknowledging your situation, which is really tough and I'm sorry. Sending my love! X

Just sat in the waiting room at the clinic, have had to sign like 5 lots of forms and DH is now off to do a semen sample test bless him.

Suddenly feel really nervous and on edge! Just so weird and so unnatural to be sat here and not sure how the consultation will go!

Sorry ladies just having an anxious vent as suddenly feel quite weird after having looked forward to 'taking actions' for weeks before this date today.

Will read through thread later and check in with you all properly! X

I remember you @Mumlili8, so sorry to see you still here. @Avocuddles, @ReeRi and @VenusStarr too (I'm sure there are more but I recognised you scrolling through). ReeRi I truly appreciated the offer of support when I posted the scan update news in the grads thread, went into MN exile to lick my wounds in the end but it meant a lot.

Onwards and upwards eh? I can't think about what TTC path we're going to take (if any) until this MC is fully dealt with and I've had a chance to properly acknowledge the loss - and I can't do that while I'm still physically carrying my baby - so I just need to get through the next couple of weeks first. Going back next week if no progress to see if medical/surgical management will be required so that's the first step I suppose.

@SunshineCrocodile so sorry to see you back here, it's an awful situation and I (and so many others here) know the pain of reading all those statistics around things being ok once you've seen a heartbeat where we know from first hand experience that that isn't necessarily the case. As you've had three losses is there any possibility of further investigations for you? If you want another child I wouldn't let thinking about age gaps put you off. Some of the closest siblings I know have substantial age gaps, a bigger gap might make some things harder but for each of those I'm sure there are also benefits....
I hope things progress soon, there's nothing worse than waiting

Hi ladies

Hope it's ok if I come crawling back. Sadly I got to 10 weeks before the heart stopped this time. Am still waiting for the miscarriage to physically happen, it's been two weeks so far and no sign of any progress.

Feeling incredibly angry. Not just that I keep miscarrying but that I get so far each time, it seems so cruel. I've spent five months of this year pregnant and have nothing to show for it except weight gain and the prospect of more pain and bleeding when the baby/sac finally pass.

I don't even know if we'll try again - I can't imagine I'll ovulate again for months, I'm getting older and age gap is getting bigger. I also don't know I can mentally cope with another miscarriage at 8/9/10 weeks, but there's nowhere else to come for support so I hope you'll put up with me for now.

I think the thing that makes it hardest is having seen/heard the heartbeat each time. Makes me so furious when people say 'less than 5% chance of miscarriage after you hear the heartbeat' like it's a done deal from then on - well I've been in that 5% 3 times now so they can go and swivel on their sodding statistics.

Sorry for the vent. I'll go and check in with the thread in a bit, sad but not surprised to see lots of new usernames x

Hi everyone, just popping in to say hello.

I had my first session yesterday, it's not counselling, turns out she's a clinical psychologist and we're looking at actual therapy. Yesterday was hard, she thinks I've got unresolved grief and trauma. I think I skipped the some of the first cycle after my first loss and everything is coming out now after my second. So that might explain why I've been feeling so awful.
Less than 2 weeks until my operation, I have so much anxiety attached to this but it's what's keeping me going, having that focus.

I have been trying to read everything, welcome to the new people, sorry you find yourself here, but these ladies are so supportive :) hi @Samk79 lovely to see you here xx

@Mumlili8 Oh wow, I didn't realise it's like reiki and that it's different to wearing crystals. Really interesting. So how do the crystals that you wear as jewellery interact with your body? Are you meant to take them off at certain times, touch them, like you say, bath them? Also, you should get your bracelets on Etsy and Notonthehighstreet if you're not on there yet! Xxx

Oh, and good luck @turquoisebaby hope you get a good answer from the GP x

@ReeRi thank you, yes even when just lurking this thread has been so helpful over the last 6 weeks. I hope your cycle settles down.

@LASandOtto glad you enjoyed Munich, I used to visit when I had a friend there. She sadly moved to quite a dull German town! Ha. My old boss used to be like to travel with, I’d fake some urgent work to do in my hotel room just to get a little break. Good luck with the appointment today.

@Littlegoth I’m so sorry for your losses, I hope the tests show something you can work on.

@seahawk80 10 potatoes is good! My gardening is very hit and miss... but this week my friend made a massive batch of carrot soup with carrots we’d grown from seed at her allotment and I don’t think I’ve ever felt so satisfied! Haha. I’m a chuck it in & see what works gardener. As for knitting, my mum is also great at it, I’m very much an amateur but am slowly learning.

@MummaShu Sorry for your loss, I’m like you ttc #2. I think the early excitement will definitely be missing if I get pregnant again, I think that’s normal.

@Samk79 Welcome, sorry to hear your story. I’m a few weeks away from turning 40 & my DH is 44. I’m hoping we’re not too old!! I definitely feel the added pressure of age though.

The chat about travel & cycles is fascinating, I’ve never tracked while travelling before... really interesting stuff.

I’ve also been thinking about a small keepsake in some way to remember my tiny lost baby. Haven’t figured out what feels suitable yet though. Really liking reading the suggestions though.

I’ve been up half the night, DS1 has a fever/bad cold. Meeting a friend for lunch today who told me last night she’s pregnant, due a month after I should have been. Third in two weeks!! I’m super happy for her, especially as they’ve taken a while to get pregnant, but still, had a little cry for myself last night. Right, back to watching In the Night Garden... hope everyone is ok and has nice weekend plans. Quiet one for us as we keep getting ill, think we need some down time xx

@turquoisebaby good luck to you, let us know how you get on....

@Mumlili8 I second @MrsMGE 's question re which crystals you use and what they are supposed to do. My fertility crystals bracelet is attached, this is from a local independent business and came with a leaflet explaining what each of them was supposed to do though can't for the life of me remember now.....

@Samk79 @MummaShu welcome to you both and thanks for sharing your stories. I hope you both get your rainbow BFPs soon r🌈