TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 33- huddle up and bring on the BFP's

@MissSparkles81 I was the same after my MMC, avoiding people and even felt socially anxious to leave my house for the first two weeks. I remember going to my hair appointment, the salon is only 15 min walk from my house and I was physically shaking and worried that people were looking at me, as if the death of my child was written all over my face, and as if it was something wrong. I obviously wasn't thinking straight at all, but what I'm trying to say is that this isn't wrong. You've been through something traumatic and you need to let your body and mind do what they need to do now. If you need rest, rest, if you want some time just with your partner, do it. It's ok, and it will be better. I'm so glad you're going to counselling, I'm waiting for my sessions to start next year. You're doing a wonderful job with everything you've mentioned and I promise you you'll start feeling better soon, gradually. Don't push yourself now and it will be fine ❤️ xxx

@MissSparkles81 just wanted to post to say I'm sorry you're going through this it took 3 weeks for my HPT to test negative, 3 horrible, draining weeks. If you get to 4 weeks and still testing positive, I was advise to call the EPU.

Have a lovely time away. Thinking of you x

Hi everyone just been catching up with the thread.

I had my 1st counselling session yesterday which I think helped as it gave me a chance to really really cry and let it all out. I am going back for another session next week.

Sadly I am still getting positive tests ... it will be 2 weeks tomorrow since I miscarried. Its the most horrible thing wanting to see that negative test. Never thought I would be in that situation.

In a more positive note me and my OH are going away a wee overnight to manchester tomorrow and I have booked myself in for a back massage and reiki session today.

Im still avoiding people in general apart from my OH. I just cant face seeing friends and family just now.

Love to you all xx

Let’s hope 2020 brings our rainbow babies 🌈

@LASandOtto I agree with your outlook and I’m thinking the same. I’d love to be pregnant again and have a healthy baby soon but for now I need to try to be patient (and know that chances are it will happen one day) and enjoy life now rather than wishing it away. As you say there are things we can do now that we might not do so easily with a little one and lots to be grateful for now as you say @Avocuddles.

@LASandOtto it's our next follow up appointment at the fertility clinic to go through the results of our recent tests and discuss next steps.
Having some friends round on Friday evening which will be nice, belated celebrations of sorts.

I am definitely making the most of life for now. Every day is precious and I'm grateful for my health, my husband, my family and friends. I hope 2020 brings us a much longed for child but I'll try not to lose sight of the joys I do have in my life....

@Avocuddles happy anniversary and hope you enjoyed celebrating albeit with colleagues - have you got any plans to do anything on the weekend? What's your appointment you've got coming up, it is with your fertility clinic? Sorry if I've misread!

@SunshineCrocodile wow you're really brave to be spending time with your friend at that stage when your own position is so difficult. I'm sure the 'why me' crossed your mind a few times? I can imagine you wanted to avoid the hospital, I associate anxiety and long waiting room waits with that place, plus inconclusive or unhappy scan results. Maybe call the nurses and ask for some advice? Hoping the natural route does start for you soon and you can get through this at home privately. How's your other half coping and handling the situation?

@MrsMGE sister sorry I didn't realise you've got your interview tomorrow???! Gaaaaaaaahhhhh amazing! You'll be fantastic!!!!!!!!!!! After all that's happened in 2019 to you, 'knowing you' 😉 you'll be quite calm about it all? Anyway, I'll be thinking of you!

@ReeRi yes thank you, it was soooooo good just to be back to old times this weekend. Didn't even bother worrying about wine intake and what we ate, we had a great Spanish dinner feast and stayed up for ages.

Just a reminder really that life is now. I know we all wish for a future with our rainbows but the future is tomorrow and we also have to find a way to live and cope with the today. When I visited my friend in Munich last weekend with her little one - well I was reminded, once you've got a little one, life is very different. No lie in, no time together as much as a couple anymore, certainly no freedom to make plans as they'd suit you, life really changes. So, whilst we are waiting for our BFP and our baba to arrive one day I'm going to make a conscious effort to be in the now and enjoy this time we have.

Lots of love to all the other ladies who've joined the thread - sorry I'm crap with tagging but @midgetjen @Babykent2019 and any other woman that sadly finds herself here! This is a lovely supportive thread and welcome to the team BFP 2020!

Thanks @SunshineCrocodile! FC appointment isn't until the 12th but still not long to wait. It's encouraging to hear your positive experience of Clomid.

Am sorry things aren't progressing naturally for you, I hope you don't have to wait much longer. Do you have a hospital appointment lined up / date at which you should get back in touch?

And happy anniversary @Avocuddles!

Thanks for the welcome back ladies. Been a tough weekend really - visiting a lovely friend but she's 27 weeks pregnant - I'd be 30 weeks had I not miscarried in June and 13 weeks were I not miscarrying now so it was a bit bloody hard to not cry every time I saw the bump (which was all the time as it's pretty big!). It was lovely to see her, bump aside, but I feel exhausted from holding the emotion in.

@Avocuddles sorry to hear you're still being given the runaround by your cycles - hope the fc can help with regulation on Fri. Clomid did wonders getting me to ovulate when my cycles were running to 50/60 anovulatory days (although increased risk of multiples, I apparently chuck out two eggs at a time as standard when I actually ovulate - making up for lost time!)

I'm not sure about the rmc - My first MMC was before DC, and the last one wasn't officially recorded as I never registered with a midwife - wanted to wait until I'd had a private scan and after that there was no point. Actually this one's probably not official either, I had a private scan that confirmed no heartbeat at 10 weeks and phoned epu for advice (advice - wait and see) but haven't been to the hospital yet as I was hoping it would all be over by now. No such luck and I'm going to have to face up to going to the hospital, not even bleeding yet and nearly 3 weeks since scan. Body doesn't want to give this one up.

@LASandOtto that sounds fantastic, to have a friend like that in the first place and to be able to spend time with them doing happy stuff. Hope you have another lovely couple of weekends to come.

Good luck with the interview @MrsMGE!

@Babykent2019 @midgetjen @AdriannaP sorry for your losses too.

@SunStruck I'm totally with you writing 2019 off. I need to get my mental and physical well-being back before I could try again, and in any case I don't think I'll bounce straight back into ovulation as my cycles are long and wonky with PCOS as it is. 2020 it is, if at all.

@LASandOtto I'm good thanks. Today is my wedding anniversary but I'm away with work so had to celebrate with a glass of red wine and a nice meal with my colleagues followed by a FaceTime chat with DH!

Glad you had a lovely time with your friend this weekend. It's so helpful and liberating to let your hair down and enjoy yourself after all the stress we've all been through. Make the most of your next couple of weekends together!

@MrsMGE good luck for Wednesday! I hope it goes well, you can do it!!!!

So lovely that you have been able to spend time with a good friend - makes the world of difference sometimes!

Hey ladies!

Missed you all, sorry I've been so quiet on here over the weekend. My best friend is here from NY for work and we had this weekend and the next 2 weekends to follow together whilst she's travelling around Europe for work but staying in London on the weekends!

Ohhhhh it's so nice to have her here - after a shit year it feels so great to see a face of someone I'm so close with who I haven't been able to see in 2 years! We had a great night out Saturday with friends, lots of wine, lots of laughing, lots of reminiscing. Just what was needed!

How are you all ladies? @MrsMGE @Avocuddles?

@SunStruck it's difficult seeing AF arrive but don't feel under so much pressure that things must happen. It's been a hell of a year for everyone on this thread I think. It's ok to have some time off, and ok to not get another BFP this year. Small goals in that department, what will be will be! On my next AF I've got to call in to my clinic I went to so they can monitor that cycle. Let the tests begin!

Sending you a massive hug! X

@SunStruck Hey lovely. I am in a similar position, although with one MMC so far, but with what appears to be an endless period of TTC following it. I am pretty certain having watched my cycles for a few months now that my body needed 3+ months to recover from the MMC, things were all over the place. It will be 12 months of TTC for us in March, so very similar to you and your DH. We've agreed that we'll give it a go naturally till then, and go to see my GP in March, as well as go to private tests then. I would like to think we won't need long-term help such as IVF etc, but what I would like to know is whether there are any issues that can be easily helped with, whether by way of taking clomid, progesterone, baby aspirine etc., simple things. I still have some hope that things will pan out OK in terms of getting pregnant again, but it diminishes every month. I now think I'll focus on the next best thing and try to think that we might only need a bit of help, and it will work out fine, just few more months of patience.

I know its hard and I really know exactly what you mean. I'll tell you as an outsider who gets it, you are trying too hard and it's making you feel worse. You seem to be feeling guilty if you don't try next month, but really there is no guilt to be had, girl, you've been through hell of a lot in one year! Your body and your mind have been under constant strain and yet you've remained calm, collected and focused on your TTC mission. You're not a robot, give yourself a short break that you really deserve. You're not reducing your chances, on the contrary, it will probably do you good to breathe out, especially over Christmas ❤️

I'm going on a strict diet after Christmas and I'll be sensible beforehand anyway. I'll shed that stone before March, watch me go 💪

The interview is on Wednesday, I can't wait to get it out of the way and start relaxing before Christmas 🎄 xxx

@Avocuddles thanks for your reply! I was thinking the same thing, leave it until early next year to see where we are at. I don't think I'm in the headspace of always going to hospital, especially not in December when I want to focus on happy celebrations and Xmas.

I'm praying for little rainbows for all of us next year 🥰

@Avocuddles great you get some auntie practice in before your rainbow 😃

@SunStruck avoiding pregnant ladies / babies is impossible for me as out of my 7 closest friends locally I'm the only one who doesn't have a DC under 2! But I try to make the most of the opportunity to be an awesome 'auntie' to their little ones, three of whom are under 10 weeks. Each time there's a new pregnancy announcement it still stings (had two within the past month....) but I try to focus on being happy for them all rather than dwelling on my own situation as I would be very lonely if I avoided all pregnant ladies / mums of newborns!

@SunStruck I'm up to 19 months now and 2 miscarriages and am under the fertility clinic due to a very similar situation to you in terms of long and irregular cycles - today is CD40, grrrr!

The fact you have managed to get pregnant twice in less than a year is very encouraging, as is the fact that you think you are ovulating each month - my issue is that I don't appear to be, having only had three definite positive opks in the 19 months.
At 36 I'm definitely aware of my age though trying to take comfort in the number of older ladies here who have successful pregnancies, plus my sister in law is expecting number 2 at 41! If I were you I would maybe give it until you hit the one year mark in February and then seek some help - fingers crossed you will have your rainbow in your arms by the end of next year.

@AdriannaP I'm under the NHS but imagine the process would be pretty similar privately. The initial step involves going through your medical / TTC history, accompanied by a whole barrage of tests including bloods, internal ultrasounds, sperm analysis and possibly a HyCoSy or other fallopian scan, although this might not be deemed necessary given you already have a DC. Then a follow up appointment to discuss results, then other tests deemed appropriate and another follow up (this is the stage I'm at) before action is taken. In my case it will probably be clomid to regulate ovulation in the first instance if I don't fall pregnant again naturally within the next cycle or two. Good luck!!!!!

@MrsMGE @Avocuddles @AdriannaP sorry you guys have to meet with pregnant ladies or ladies with small babies! I'm lucky in the sense no one out here that I know of are pregnant, but my sister in law is and due early next year. I've bought a super cute little romper for the baby and it was sad to choose style as I obviously wish this would be for myself! At this point it just does not feel I will ever get there! In Feb next year we have TTC for a year and only 2 miscarries to show for it 🙄 mmc due date would have been December 18th which is just around the corner.

@Babykent2019 I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I had the same, my mmc in May, had d&c but still had retained products so had to go back for a second d&c end of July. It completely messed up my cycles (which are long anyway). Hoping you will catch soon x

@MrsMGE good luck with the interview prep, when is it?!

Hi ladies, sorry to see new faces on here!

Sorry I've been a bit absent, I've got my period yesterday and am just a bit gutted. I'm copy pasting the below from another thread I'm active in (sorry - I'm at work and very busy but would like advice). To not drip feed, I have polycystic ovaries but not the syndrome and I'm ovulating every month (confirmed by temping). Cycles are fairly long though (35-39 days). I'm 36 years old.

I'm alright (after getting AF) but just slightly worried something is seriously wrong and I'm just bobbing along if you know what I mean. I don't know whether I should go to the Dr again for hormone shots to try to ovulate more eggs than one for the best chance (so similar to what the ladies doing IVF are doing without the insertion, and to track ovulation with scans to not miss we're having sex just then). I did this one cycle before if you remember.

I just can't be arsed going to the Dr and sitting in that chair tbh, it's stressing me out. And we have caught twice on second cycle this year, so part of me just want to wait to let it happen naturally. I'm not getting any younger though and if we want 2 I really need to get pregnant early next year. I know I sound like a broken record I'm sorry!!!

What would you do in my shoes? Private healthcare out here is good (don't live in the UK) so I can get this straight away if I wanted to. Not overly expensive either.

To add, I am really struggling with baby announcements atm and so many friends and relatives who had their second (and third!!) or are expecting. Also dreading Christmas when i will see two relatives who are TTC and I suspect at least one of them will make a big pregnancy announcement. I am happy for them but so sad for the baby I lost.
The MC has really affected my mental health and I have been very depressed.

Hi!
Hope I can join.
Nearly 37, one DC (4), TTC for two years, had a MC in June

We are now going to make an appointment for fertility treatments. What can I expect at first appointment?
We are going private as don’t think we qualify under NHS. Thanks

@midgetjen Sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here. It may be that your cycles are just not regular yet as it can take time but see your GP if you’re worried something isn’t right. I’m sure everything is fine and your body is just getting back to normal and it’s easy to think the worst once the worst has happened... my cycle is a bit strange this month too!

@Anny27 Yes they should have been told. It wasn’t handled as well as it cooled have been unfortunately but mostly being back at work has been really good for me to have something else to focus on.

And just want to say it's lovely to find people who also get it, but sorry that we all find ourselves here too if that makes any sense at all

@anny I think from memory anything up to two weeks bleeding after ERPC is considered normal but happy to be corrected as isn't something recent for me. We actually lost my daughter in summer 2018 and cycles were back on track within a few months which is what makes things being off now even odder

@MrsMGE my manager and a few colleagues know but i dont want to broadcast to everyone so will just go with sharing as little as i can - they know i was in hospital so hopefully noone will pry haha! So sorry to hear of your bad experience. Such a shame its contributed to poor mental health :( and i definitley agree that being prepared and receiving great care has contributed to my recovery.

@Avocuddles i have definitley told more people about the miscarriage than i thought i would tbh. I think its because i sought great comfort from 3 of my friends who have experieced loss and so i hope that if i share my story, people who go through the same will feel they can come to me for support. Its a lonely time and my friends who have experienced loss have been amazing to me.

@ReeRi oh goodness, people definitley should have been told about your baby! One women lost twins quite late on in work and we were all told, so we could be supportive and also not put our foot in it!

@Babykent2019 welcome to the thread and sorry for your loss, mustbe in your mind approaching your due date xxx

@midgetjen so sorry forthe loss of your daughter ❤ cycles after losses seem to be so varied, some women are bacj tonormal whereas others are all over the place :(

For people who have had an ERPC, how long did you bleed afterwards? I had mine last friday night so 8/9 days ago and still experiencing light bleeding like the last 1 or 2 days of my period.

Having a lazy evening watching i'm a celev but just had a peak at the emails on my work phone and there are HUNDREDS haha! Tomorrow will be busy