TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 33- huddle up and bring on the BFP's

Thank you @ReeRi ... I have just done another test and its still showing the faintest positive. Its been 3 weeks now and I just want it to show negative so I can try and move on.

I am in 2 minds about trying again this month. Tbh we haven't really spoke about it but I am so conscious that at 38 time is not really on my side and it took us 6 months to get pregnant.

My partner also suffers with performance anxiety at times so its not exactly a straight road ahead.

Sorry Im aware that I am rambling a bit ... just about to get ready to go to my counselling session.

Wishing everyone a good monday.

Thinking of you @JuniperAndRose

Thanks @Mumlili8 I will message you

Happy Monday everyone! It’s freezing... Hope you’re all ok as can be

@Avocuddles Thank you. I hope we get a lot of BFPs in the coming months too. If I am not pregnant this cycle then I will be eating and drinking whatever over Christmas, not that I drink a lot anyway. I hope 2020 brings joy for all of us.

@Mumlili8 That’s so kind of you. I was actually wanting to ask you more about them and might have asked a few pages ago where to buy them (unless I thought it and didn’t ask) 🤔

@MissSparkles81 Make the most of counselling and your time off that you can. It’s so important to have some times to ourselves to recuperate

Baby dust to everyone x

@SunshineCrocodile thanks lovely. I know its the only time where we actually want to see that negative. I didnt test today so going to do it in the morning.

Im still off work. My Gp has signed me off for another 2 weeks so I have another counselling session tomorrow. Will see how that goes.

@Mumlili8 I would love one of your fertility bracelets. I will send you a pm just now

@ReeRi glad you're feeling quite relaxed and that your DH is ok after his surgery.

I hope that you fill your BD-free month with lots of fun and festivity. I am crossing my fingers that January brings us lots of BFPs....

I mean he had it on Friday. Tbh I’m just grateful he’s ok. Had no reason to think he’s not but have bad anxiety and worry even if he’s asleep so was having major worry on Friday when they took an hour and a half to bring him back from theatre (after telling me about half an hour!)

Thanks @SunshineCrocodile I think a burial is a lovely idea, not what you were planning for or course, but now you are in this position and I think it might help to have some closure

I hope everyone els is ok and had a good weekend. I feel quite relaxed actually. DH has his circumcision on Friday so no baby dancing for us until at least Christmas 😬

@Avocuddles I'm going to try and get an appointment with the gp for a couple of weeks to talk things through, so won't do anything before then. But I do like to be prepared!

@Mumlili8 what a lovely kind offer. I will PM you....

@SunshineCrocodile @Mumlili8 aspirin does help clotting factors (as do heparin injections), however there are a small number conditions where it have the opposite effect (ie be a hinderance rather than helpful) so I wouldn't just start taking it without speaking to a doctor first. It's likely they'll be supportive of you taking it but worth them going through your medical history. Have you been tested for clotting factors?

@SunshineCrocodile I hope you don't have to wait too long for your BFN. Your burial ceremony sounds like a lovely idea.

Good morning everyone. Up ridiculously early as couldn't sleep and making protein brownies as part of my resolution to try and take better care of myself having let myself slump into really bad comfort eating habits over the last few weeks. I'm normally pretty fit and eat well but the mcs this year have really thrown me off course with exercise and eating and I'm carrying over a stone more than I'm happy with. But clearly starting the lifestyle change gently with brownies rather than salad . I'd like to feel in better shape for the new year if we're going to try again. @VenusStarr your post about not being kind to yourself struck a chord with me - I've definitely used myself as a bit of an emotional punching bag and that was a wake up call so thank you for that. I hope you have success with SW and good luck for your hysteroscopy on Wednesday.

@ReeRi I have everything crossed that you're still in with a fighting chance this month.

@Mumlili8 I need to do more research to be honest, but I'm sure I've read somewhere that clotting issues can be a factor in late 1st trimester miscarriage and the aspirin can help. I'll get onto google later and let you know what I find out. I'm usually of the opinion that if there's no obvious risk involved I'll try anything (see list of random supplements I've tried previously!)

@MissSparkles81 I'm glad to hear you're moving closer to that BFN - strange though it seems to be wishing you one, it's closure and a step closer to trying again if that's what you want.

@Avocuddles I hope the clomid helps you too. I know it isn't necessarily a cure-all but I do know personally of several success stories. Wine with your friend sounds like a perfect Friday!

Thank you to those who asked after me, I'm as well as I can be. Passed a few more small clots but the bleeding has generally slowed right down and cramping has pretty much stopped so I think I've been lucky enough to get through it without needing intervention (if lucky is ever the word to use!). Waiting for the bleeding to stop and the bfn now. I still need to go and have a little burial ceremony, but there's a specific place I want to go where one of my other babies is and I want to wait until it's quiet there and I can spend a bit of peaceful time. I'm not particularly spiritual really but it's important to me to say a mindful goodbye.

@JuniperAndRose I've been thinking of you all weekend. Your husband's comment made me feel so sad, at a time like this the last thing you should be feeling is the pressure of scrutiny. You are in my thoughts and will be tomorrow

@Josie510, @MrsMGE, @Anny27, anyone else (sorry if I've missed anyone) - how are you doing?

Evening everyone hope you are all ok. Just been catching up with everyone.

@JuniperAndRose I tested again this morning and got a vvvf positive so hoping that the negative will come in the next day or 2.

@MrsMGE I can relate to some of what you said a few posts back. I hope your ok.

Evening everyone. Lots of posts to catch up on so apologies if I'm missed anything.

@MrsMGE re doing things differently in the cycles where we've conceived, to be honest the common thread in the two cycles that I conceived was actually that I wasn't trying too hard or paying particular attention to what I ate or drank! The second time round I was having acupuncture and taking Ubiquinol (as well as Pregnacare) and I do think that the acupuncture may have helped given that it took me a year to conceive first time round and only a couple of months second time. I don't think I'm a particularly helpful case study though due to my long and irregular cycles. Day 45 now with no ovulation and no sign of AF either, very frustrating!!!! I let out my frustration last night via a good catch up with one of my best friends and rather too much wine. Going to try to be as healthy as possible for the next couple of weeks before my fertility appointment though.

@Josie510 I can't imagine how tough it must have been going through your miscarriage during a flight, my heart goes out to you and I hope that you have had plenty of support around you.
Both of my miscarriages happened naturally at 7-8 weeks. First time round bleeding took best part of three weeks to stop and it took a full three weeks to get a negative, second time slightly less. In both instances it seemed as if the bleeding had ended then a few days later I passed more clots. My EPU calls patients three weeks after their loss to find out if they've had a negative yet - if you don't hear from yours then maybe give them a call?

@SunshineCrocodile your experience re Clomid is encouraging (the conceiving part rather than your frustrating journey to get support...). I think that I'm likely to be starting it soon. I've been TTC for 19 months and my cycles have been up to 60 days long, averaging over 45 days, so anything that can reduce them down would be great.
Re Baby Aspirin, I take it along with Heparin due to clotting history, it hasn't helped my pregnancies stick so far but it has kept me healthy (I'm considered very high risk having previously had a major DVT) which I guess is ultimately the most important thing.

@VenusStarr glad your appointment is almost here. When will you hear back about your bloods?
Please don't be harsh on yourself, you have been through a lot, you are right it is time to be kind to yourself and I hope you manage to find some joy and happiness over the Christmas season one way or another.

@ReeRi @JuniperAndRose hope you are both ok this evening.

@SunshineCrocodile How are you? well I mentioned a few days ago I had lots of CM a few days later than I usually ov so I wondered whther I ovulated late in which case it is early for me to test so I just don’t know

Hope you’re ok as can be @JuniperAndRose
and also @MrsMGE It does help to have you all to share these things with

Good luck for Wednesday @VenusStarr

@SunshineCrocodile how are you today?
@MissSparkles81 I hope that the tests are moving in the right direction. Not that any of us here hopes for a bfn of course, but these times put us in situations which don’t make any sense.
@ReeRi I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a smooth recovery for your DH and a gentle December for you both
@MrsMGE for what it’s worth I think it is completely natural to feel any and all of those things. The counselling sounds like a good move, I hope that you find it helpful. I can empathise with family who had previously been generally ok just not being supportive after baby loss. I don’t have any advice, and I don’t think i am handling it particularly well myself, so I’ll just send you a solidarity hug.

Hi @Josie510 welcome. I'm sorry for your losses ❤️ I just wanted to jump on to reply to you about Tommy's clinic in Birmingham. I'm currently having tests after 'only 2' MMCs. It was a 4 month wait but I managed to get a cancellation (first appointment was supposed to be in January). We had a good discussion with the consultant and I'm waiting for my blood results. If they show up something I'll have another set. We've got a review in February (first appointment was end of October). So not sure what happens next, but we are allowed to ttc again and if we concieve ill have an early scan at 6 weeks. I'm glad your GP will refer. We're under Birmingham Women's Hospital for fertility support so our consultant referred us on.

Hope everyone is OK, I'm still quietly reading. My hysteroscopy is on Wednesday. I've been proactive and signed up to slimming World this morning, horrified at my start weight but that's why I'm there I guess. This year has not been kind to me and I'm realising I've not been kind to myself.

Once my operation is out the way we'll be ttc and hopefully I'll be able to come back to the chat properly. X

@ReeRi @ChangeyMcChangeChange @SunshineCrocodile @Anny27 @MissSparkles81 @Avocuddles @MrsMGE
Thank you so much for your kind words. This thread really is a lifeline. It’s so helpful to be able to express things to people who understand. DH said the other day that he feels like an exhibit in a zoo at the moment, with people just looking at him from behind glass.

@Josie510 sorry, cross posts - I'm so sorry for your losses and especially for how traumatic it it must have been for you on the plane, it's awful enough at home. Just wanted to hug you reading that!

My last MMC was also natural and at around the same dates as yours and it took me 3 weeks to stop bleeding. Tested negative on a cheapie after 4 weeks but positive about a week and a half later on a frer - that may or may not have been a chemical, AF arrived immediately afterwards anyway.

Afraid I can't help re the RMC or Tommy's but hopefully someone will have some helpful advice!

@MrsMGE not sure this will help as it's specific to PCOS but the only thing that I directly credit with changing things after first MMC was Clomid. I had to fight tooth and nail for a diagnosis to begin with, despite textbook pcos blood results, scans, (all of which I had to ask for following my own research) long anovulatory cycles, obviously lack of conception they just wouldn't give me the diagnosis until I literally refused to leave the office until I was listened to. I was about 90 days into a cycle at that point and pretty close to the edge, had all my results and cross referenced them with diagnosis criteria and NICE guidelines and in the end they admitted defeat and gave me progesterone to kick off a new cycle and Clomid. Boom, pregnant with twins within 28 days. (Had also tried acupuncture, red clover, agnus castus, yam and had a hycosy by this point and nothing had helped).

Weirdly my cycles have regulated themselves somewhat since I had DC (closer to 40 than 90 days) and am clearly ovulating as have had several pregnancies in fairly quick succession. Just can't get them to stick. I wonder about baby aspirin, have seen contradictory reports but as my pregnancies fail just as the placenta should be taking over I wonder if that would help. Interested to know if anyone has any info!

Hi everyone ❤️

Please could I join?!

Josie510
Age 29
TTC number 1 since Dec 18
I’ve had 1 x chemical (March 19) and 2 weeks ago had a MC at 10 weeks after seeing a heartbeat at 8 weeks 💔

I’ve been following your stories for a little while and it honestly warms my heart how strong and supportive you all are!

I wanted to ask your advice if that’s okay? I had a natural MC 2 weeks ago after a few days of bleeding when I was 10 weeks. I actually ended up loosing the baby on a plane on the way back from NY which was horrendous and definitely the worst day of my life so far. I had a scan just over a week ago as I was still bleeding heavily and had a lot of pain but thankfully they said everything had passed and the bleeding has slowed quite a lot since. I did a test this morning which was still strongly positive, I was just wondering how long it took you all for the bleeding to stop and get a negative test? And how long you left it before calling back the EPU?

I was also wondering if any of you have any experience of being seen at a Tommy’s miscarriage research centre? I was looking on their website and they strongly believe women should be investigated after ‘only’ 2 losses. From what it says the criteria has recently changed and you can be referred by your GP to either the centre in Coventry if local or to Birmingham (from anywhere in the UK) after 2 miscarriages. My GP is happy to refer but was wondering if anyone had any experience of actually getting an appointment or them agreeing to see you and investigate?

Sorry for all the questions and thanks in advance ❤️

Hi @Mumlili8. Thank you. Maybe a tiny bit better, but I know from previous times it will take longer to build myself back up. It's like I'm strong and getting on with things for 3 weeks and then there's a week or two when I come crashing down due to AF and seemingly everyone around me being pregnant all at once. I have never in my life had so many pregnant friends, colleagues and acquaintances all at once, honest truth - I've counted. It's not just me noticing them, it must be our age. Typically, out of the whole lot I am the only one making the MC statistic whilst everyone else is glowingly sailing through.

Can I ask the ladies who managed to get pg again after their loss(es), is there anything you did differently in that cycle/s? I know some of you are still waiting for your raimbows, but my question is in relation to the conception cycle only, not in relation to the outcome of the following pregnancy. I'm just out of my mind as to what to do to get the two lines tbh. Xxx

@Anny27 Yes, I guess people "run out of words" at some point and some expect that you'd naturally get better. Which you do in terms of accepting the loss as we've all said before. The difficult part is that the loss makes you want to be pregnant again and fast, and when it doesn't happen, the feeling of loss and hopelessness hits you over and over again. I didn't expect that at all and people don't know how it feels therefore are not really there to support you. It's hard to hear that I got pg quickly, so it's just a matter of time and patience. It just doesn't help, it's a binary situation, you're either pg again and feel better, or you're not and it's very upsetting. One thing I would say to you now that I wish someone told me at the beginning of my journey post loss is not to expect anything and life will be so much easier for you then. I had this excitement and faith that things will be pretty easy in terms of conceiving again and that there are things I can do to improve my chances etc. The fact is, it's a lottery so it's best not to start the journey expecting anything. The numbers are on our side as it seems pretty much everyone conceives within 2 years post loss according to the NHS, but this can feel like an extremely long time because you've already been on this road and you can never go back to how things were before. Of course there's also a risk things may go wrong again as some of us sadly experienced. But I guess you need to approach it one step at a time and not worry about every single thing at once. Try not to overthink how you might be feeling later on, and in any event, you might be lucky to catch again quickly and it makes life quite a bit easier then. Xxx