TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 33- huddle up and bring on the BFP's

Hey @SunshineCrocodile that's an awesome idea! I've approached things differently this year, I'm eating really well as much as I can in December. Of course, we will be out a lot and it's Christmas (I'm going to enjoy my food), but I'm not allowing madness every single day - not to lose weight, but to maintain it this month so it's easier for me to really concentrate on it from January. I too should lose a stone, if I lose two I'll be super slim and happy. I'm planning to be very, very good Jan-Mar and see where I am. I might then reintroduce some foods, but really, I think I might well continue on the same basis as this month, i.e. enjoy meals out and special occasions, but be very good on all other days. I genuinely think I've been feeling sorry for myself and been overeating and snacking, and it just adds up. I kind of told myself now that most people live like this and I don't need this food...it was emotional eating. So I'm trying to make a change in my mindset for life, not for a short-term diet, if that makes sense.

I'm happy to be weight loss buddies - if you want, we can post our weekly losses on here starting from January for motivation? It's like a free SW group 😁💪 xxx

Hey @Mumlili8 yes I had it under general anesthetic. I went down to theatre about 12.30 and was back on the ward at about 3ish. I was a bit crampy so the recovery nurse have me oramorph and they'd already given me diclofenac whilst I was under and I had paracetamol on a drip. I actually think the pain and discomfort after my hsg was far worse. I've had to use my heat wrap a few times and only taken paracetamol and ibuprofen a couple of times. I'm very tired though - had a 3 hour nap yesterday afternoon! Hope when you get seen they do offer you one. I had no idea I had a polyp despite loads of scans. I am wondering if they thought it was a fibroid but when they got in there with the camera it was easier to see.
The waiting was hard but I'm so glad I had it done.

@ReeRi I'm sorry about the bfn, did you track ovulation this cycle?

Hope everyone is on today?

I got a BFN on FRER at CD34 (cycle usually 30 days) so have officially given up hope for this cycle!

I hope you get some answers in Jan anyway

@SunshineCrocodile Have you buried your baby near to where you love? My daughter is buried and I find it comforting in some way to have somewhere to go to visit her

@Avocuddles I will join you on the health kick!

Have you spoken to anyone so far about your shorter cycles @Mumlili8? I think I mentioned before that my cycles changed quite a lot about 3-4 years ago and went from 5 day medium to heave to 3 day medium to light periods... No one seemed to think it was a problem. Around that time I was having hormonal issues too and irregular periods so was checked for various things like PCOS and I actually worried about early menopause but they didn’t seem to think it was an issue

The thing tomorrow is the Leeds office party so about 70 people will go and it’s a formal dinner with drinks and dancing. I’m won’t drink, I won’t dance and I can’t be bothered making small talk. HOWEVER I was just looking for something to wear for it... I actually think if I had something to wear it’d be fine!

We then have a team thing next week on Tuesday which is in Manchester and will be the rest of our team getting ready from the different offices which is a daytime lunch and I am going to that

@Mumlili8 thanks! I would quite like a huge AF - like you mine have generally been quite light and short which makes you wonder what if anything goes on in there during my epically long cycles! Hopefully my appointment next week will give me some answers, as will yours in the new year....

@MrsMGE I imagine we could pass a lot of wine... I mean time.... if we were in the same room. No sign of AF yet but unfortunately it's not that unusual for me, things were this way for a year before my first pregnancy and no amount of jumping around or hot baths help, much as I do love a good soak.... I've been ovulation testing for over four weeks without a sniff of a positive yet I've still been pregnancy testing every few days 'just in case'. I know realistically that I'm not going to get a BFP, i think it's more to make me feel better about the odd glass of wine (or I imagine multiple in the case of my work do next week...) and Christmas coffee. I've cut back a lot throughout this journey but not 100% (moderation is everything!) though I'm going to have a dry and caffeine free January and intend to keep that going for the foreseeable.

@ReeRi what are you team doing for the Christmas party - is it a long drawn out meal or something you could dive out of quickly if you're not enjoying it? I suspect it might be ok once you were there, but if it feels more of a chore than a pleasure then don't force yourself to go. Let us know what you decide....

@SunshineCrocodile I know what you mean about wanting AF to hold off so we could start meds straight away, it has crossed my mind though realistically I think I would probably choose to wait until the new year to start if we were given the go ahead. The thought of having to deal with the potential side effects of a new treatment over Christmas whilst we're visiting family is a bit daunting, plus we're staying away from the 24th December to 2nd January (neither of our families live nearby) and I can't imagine much if any DTD will be on the agenda with assorted family members next door....!
Well done on managing a health kick at this time of the year! I'm planning on restarting weight watchers in January and also have between 1 and 2 stone to shift.
I'm glad you feel like you got some closure yesterday. Be kind to yourself over the coming weeks as you will no doubt have plenty of ups and downs, but rest assured we are all here for you.

@MrsMGE fantastic news on your promotion, and a double triumph really for not only getting it but doing so in the face of all this TTC crap. Am also on a huge health kick now I can't blame my waistline on a baby bump any more, I have well over a stone (ok, maybe 2) to shift to get back to my happy place. Happy to keep you company on the weight loss journey!

@Mumlili8 sorry to hear AF arrived, hugs to you.

@MissSparkles81 glad you've got your BFN. Are you going to wait for next cycle or try again straight away? I tested today and was really shocked to get only the faintest of squinters less than a week after the physical miscarriage - admittedly I've been drinking gallons today on my health kick so was basically peeing water but last MC it was a blazing positive for weeks. I'll try again in a few days to see if it's a true negative. Irrelevant at the moment as I'm still bleeding but once that stops I guess I'm back in the game.

@Avocuddles long cycles are just awful. Mentally completely draining. I really hope you get the clomid next week. And in the nicest way I kind of hope AF holds off for another few days for you so you're in the right window to start it straight away - if you wanted to of course!

I have to steer clear of the conception/pregnancy boards as a general rule (unless I'm feeling particularly masochistic). The obliviousness isn't malicious but it is completely infuriating.

@ReeRi sorry you're feeling crap, hope you're better soon. Your friend was so horribly insensitive, I'm glad you raised it with them and hope they rise to it and become a better friend for it.

@VenusStarr I'm glad your op went smoothly and that you've come out of it feeling positive. Hope you can move onto the next steps ASAP now.

I went for a nice long walk yesterday in the sunshine and had a quiet little burial by the river where my other baby is. And then had a bit of a cry. TBH I haven't felt as emotional this time round - I don't know if it was because I was expecting it every second I was pregnant so it wasn't as much of a shock as it was the time before. That or I'm developing a heart of stone. Either way it was almost nice to let myself be wholeheartedly sad for a little while. It feels like I've got a bit of closure anyway.

Just to echo @MrsMGE's lovely post - I'm so grateful to everyone here for the support and just to know there's a hive mind somewhere that 'gets' it. Thanks everyone

Oh I might be a grump @MrsMGE and not go! 🙈 My best work friends have all left on the last year, I will end up sitting next to someone in my team who annoys me, and I just feel like I don’t have the small talk in me!

I won’t drink because AF still hasn’t arrived plus I’m on antibiotics for my abscess...

I still feel a bit conflicted though and like I would go if I can find something to wear! Part of it is my body isn’t the same since I had my daughter so I wouldn’t wear the dresses I already have

I’ll let you know whether I decide to go! I hope you have a good time anyway

@ReeRi Mine is tomorrow too and I feel exactly the same! Plus a work colleague has really annoyed me today and I'm a bit like eurgh why do I need to spend my spare time with people from work (although in general they are nice people). But, I am not going to be a grump and I'll show my face! Only for a couple of hours. Wearing my all time favourite: a slimming LBD 😂 xxx

I’m ok thanks. I think it was good for me to stay home today

Tomorrow is my Christmas party and I just don’t feel like going! I said I’d go but with having been unwell last night as well as having found out a few days ago I have a dental abscess I might have an excuse! But then feel bad not going. I just feel like I don’t have anything I want to wear and don’t fancy making small talk...

Yes the woman is weird @MrsMGE I’m glad I said what I said and now don’t car what happens. It’s forward of her but more since she was so focussed on herself last time that she was a bit rude to me!

I agree that this thread is so wonderfully supportive @MrsMGE

Thank you @VenusStarr and I'm glad you're feeling a bit better & it sounds like your appointment was very helpful. Wonderful news, keeping everything crossed for you 🤞

@ReeRi How are you feeling? I agree with your earlier comment and thought the same as @SunStruck, that woman was waaaay too direct with you, I'd be astonished if someone I don't know too well asked me such a personal question. She doesn't seem to have a filter, does she?

@Avocuddles Where is AF?? Any news? Sit ups? Run? Hot bath? They seem to work for me in speeding up AF?

I also agree re your comment entirely, women in similar situations (and in general in my view) should be supporting each other 100%. The best example is all of us on here, it's a 33rd thread, 1000 posts each, and we're here for each other. They should be writing books about female solidarity based on us! 😂 On a serious note, the fact we're in this together makes it so much better and there's no stopping us, ladies ❤️ xxx

Aw @SunStruck you've made me smile ❤️ I know what you mean, my soul sister, we've been through ups and downs together 🌺 If we'd met in RL, I think we'd be BFFs 😘

Soppy moment, so many of you on here are genuinely so lovely, I feel I can speak to you like with my closest friends. Imagine if we sat down one night together with wine/gin/whatever we like, I think we'd be very merry & chatting all night! ❤️ Xxx

@Mumlili8 thank you so much will let you know when it arrives x

@ReeRi I hope you're feeling better this evening.

@Mumlili8 thank you so much, I'm looking forward to receiving your special delivery

@VenusStarr good to hear from you and glad it went well yesterday. My next fertility appointment is next Thursday and I'm hoping that given my current long cycle they might be willing to give me some medical help. Like you I've been told that IVF probably isn't the first port of call given that I have conceived twice, but I could definitely benefit from some support to ensure that I ovulate. I'll keep you posted as to how I get on!

Pleased you’re feeling more positive @VenusStarr

Hi all :)

@Mumlili8 you're so kind thank you 😘

@MrsMGE congratulations on your promotion!! 🎉 Fabulous news

@Avocuddles I'm sorry to hear your cycle is out of whack, did you say you're seeing your fertility consultant soon? Hopefully you can sort out a plan.

@ReeRi sorry you're unwell, definitely have a restful day at home

👋 To everyone else, sorry I can't tag you all but hoping you're all OK xx

Update from me, had my hysteroscopy yesterday, it went well. No sign of the fibroids 🤔 but I did have a polyp removed and that's been sent off to histology (think there's a small chance of cancer with polyps but I'm not too concerned about that). So I've googled, as you do, and I am starting to think that my most recent miscarriage may have been related to that, as they can stop the blood supply. I know I'll never know for sure. I'm still waiting for my blood test results as well. No idea about the fibroid that was supposedly subserosal - I'm seeing my fertility consultant in January so hopefully we'll get a plan moving forward as we've been ttc for 2 years now. One of the doctors yesterday was saying 'oh you'll get your ivf funding now' as if that was the next step, but I want to try other things before we get to that point, maybe iui if we can, plus we get one fresh cycle and that's it. Plus my consultant said 'oh you don't need ivf now as you can concieve', I just need them to grow and thrive. I am feeling a bit more positive now.

Right, need to get up and migrate to the sofa ☺️ have a good day everyone xxx

Thanks so much @Mumlili8 I’ll look out for it. It was so kind of you to send them to us

I’m not going into work today as I was a bit unwell last night (stomachache high up, back ache and then I passed out in the bathroom at one point) I feel ok but didn’t want to overdo it so I’ll stay home and wait for the postman 😆

@MrsMGE I agree. I don’t know her well so for all I know she is just insensitive / only thinks of herself. I was quite prepared to block her out after what she’d done so I don’t consider it a loss I’d were not friends now. I think limiting you contact with the person you are talking about is a good idea. You don’t have to be too blunt about it (if you don’t want to be) you could just be like I was with this one and send friendly / pleasant replies to texts but not arrange to meet up...

Agree @SunStruck thought it was a bit of a forward question!

@Avocuddles I hope the acupuncture helps you this cycle.

My cycle is usually 29-30 days these days and I’m on CD33. Haven’t bothered to test again but I had about five BFNs between CD27-CD31 and think maybe I ovulated about three days late anyway

@MrsMGE I think there is definitely an element of having someone else to prioritise having shifting my friend's perspective. She has had a tough time with her DH since the birth and has needed support with that, however she at least now frames things in the context of 'DS is my priority now', and acknowledges that she is fortunate to be in this situation and she doesn't know how she would have coped if she'd been through my journey. My answer to this is that at the end of the day I have no choice other than to deal with it!!!

It's such a shame that the woman you talk about is also experiencing fertility issues - you would hope that we fertility warriors would stick together and strive to find strength through community, not drag each other down.

@SunStruck your DH may see a busy month as a 'write off' but as long as you DTD as and when you can / feel like it then there's still a chance.... The first time I fell pregnant (after a year TTC) was ironically during the month we'd stopped trying - no OPKs, no regimented DTD, eating and drinking everything going. My GP has told me recently to try to 'relax' and park the OPKs, but I think I've become somewhat addicted to peeing on a stick. I envy so much those who've never had to worry about holding their pee or turned down an afternoon cup of tea to try to make it as strong as possible!
Like you I'm planning on making the new year my time to focus on health, starting with Dry January and maybe a return to weight watchers.

CD50 for me today! Went for acupuncture yesterday, I'm hoping that if AF is on her way that the treatment might help to hurry things along. Breaking out in loads of spots and generally feeling a bit meh so feel like hormones are in overdrive at the moment!

@MrsMGE I'm alright thanks, I've missed you and the girls here! You're my longest standing TTC partner in the same boat and we're very similar irl with work and pressure and just in general how we function, so it always feels like home to come on here! We have been super busy and I've not been at all healthy since we've been out eating and drinking everyday (we have had a 5 day bank holiday weekend and have friend staying over from the UK) so I feel bad about that. DH telling me December is a write off because of how many plans we have, Christmas parties and other things and I sort of agree, but I can't help getting a bit annoyed because he always says that and feels we should just 'relax'. Easy for him to say 🙄 I'm also pretty busy at work so focusing on that and to actually get my physical promotion for January (already been agreed but not public yet, and no salary raise until public). I will still give it a good go this month with OPK starting from next week and then be healthier during TWW but not holding out too much hope. First half year of next year will be quiet for us in terms of visitors and plans, so I feel I can focus 100% then also with healthYour plan sounds fab, MH is worth spending money on and so are the fertility tests at this point if you think it will put your mind to ease more x

@Avocuddles I know what you mean about those threads, I honestly don't go on other threads than this and another TTC after miscarriage thread here anymore! It always takes a while to know the people on the thread too, so there's also that 😃 I don't have anyone really IRL who understands what I'm going through apart from one, but she's also pregnant now and due in March so is sending me pics of bumps and scans. I don't mind that I get she's very happy, but it does makes me feel like I've want it too. No one else where I live is going through this though so it's hard.

@ReeRi after what you've been through her behavior is actually shocking, and it's so rude to ask if you're TTC after only meeting you 4 times?! I'm sorry to hear you have such insensitive people in your life!!!