TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 33- huddle up and bring on the BFP's

Oh beautiful rainbows, I'm sure that's good news! 😄

@Avocuddles morning after club will be painful! But I intend to enjoy myself as my due date is next week (18th) so 🤷🏻‍♀️ the funny thing is that My estimated ovulation date is the same date, hopefully that's a sign 😄😄😄

@MrsMGE @Avocuddles I understand where your relatives are coming from as mine say the same things and I know they're not trying to be insensitive (just older people)... but it just puts so much pressure on us. That's also what we want 😔 that's why this group is so good and understanding. People don't think if they haven't been in the same situation.

@MissSparkles81 I fully believe in what you just said and definitely believe there's things in this world we can't see or understand. That must have been a very comforting message for you to hear ❤️

Oh @Avocuddles people mean well don’t they but as if you need pressure to get pregnant within 2 months! It might happen but it might not!

@MrsMGE I’m not bothering with Christmas decorations. I’ve done gift shopping and I’m looking forward to our few days away but I can’t face what should have been our daughter’s first Christmas. I know it’s not the same but I know Christmas is hard for so many people. I thought I’d be happy even to be pregnant again by this Christmas but I’m trying not to be impatient...I have the excuse that we’re decorating (upstairs really) so not practical to have a tree!

@Avocuddles @JuniperandRose I saw a double rainbow today too ❤️❤️❤️🌈🌈 It made me smile and I'm smiling even more now having read your posts xxx

@Avocuddles It's bittersweet to hear something like this. We went to see DHs grandparents and bless his heart, his grandad is 90 and every time says that he's hoping to live long enough to hold our baby. He's not very well and we're their main carers due to a difficult family situation on DH's side. It breaks my heart when he says this as there's nothing more that I want than to bring that baby to him to hold. They were the first people we told about my pregnancy because I was worried grandad would pass away not knowing. Enough said, when my baby died, it broke my heart to a million pieces also for that reason.

I'm feeling sad today, I've put all our lovely decorations up and it's all hit me that I'm not where I was supposed to be, that our baby isn't coming next month. We must have been sooo close in due dates @Avocuddles, literally days apart. I'm sending you so much love today ❤️❤️❤️ xxx

@Avocuddles there was a double rainbow here (north London) too this afternoon so let’s definitely consider it a sign for all of us

@SunStruck yes still waiting, up to CD53 now! I also have my work party on Thursday so will be joining you in the 'morning after' club on Friday. I have my fertility clinic appointment on Thursday morning so am hoping that I'll get an update which will mean that we can going with some support come the new year. DH and I were both intending on doing dry January no matter what so it would be perfect if we could combine our health kick with some productive 'action'!

@MrsMGE I was also supposed to be starting mat leave at Christmas as my first due date was in early January. I suspect the coming weeks might be tough, especially as one of my colleagues is due at the start of February so the baby / mat leave talk is impossible to avoid.

Had DH's mum and nan here today. Both DH's brother and cousin have recently announced pregnancies so they have two more grand/great grandchildren due in May / June. They know about our losses but I find their optimism very difficult sometimes. DH's younger brother gets married next October and MIL said how nice it would be if they had not two but three babies there. Given this would require us both getting and staying pregnant within the next two months I think this is pretty unlikely. I tried to brush it off with a comment about maybe not but it's ok because she's got the others. I then nearly burst into tears when MIL told me that she'd been to visit DH's dad's grave this week and asked if he could help me out!!! I know they mean well but I find it very sad being with them sometimes as their grandchild / future grandchildren mean the world to them and we haven't been able to give them one.

@MissSparkles81 I don't think you're raving!
Do you take blood thinners when pregnant as a result of the APS test, or is this test to find out whether that would be the right course of action? Speaking as someone with a clotting disorder if there's a suspicion that you might have one it could be worth waiting to get the results to ensure you have the right treatment.

Saw a double rainbow this morning - hopefully it is a sign for all of us.....

@MrsMGE don’t worry about that, I think our weights fluctuate throughout it the day depending on all sorts of things. Have a nice Sunday!

@MrsSparkles @MrsMGE I’d like to see a psychic or something like that. I’ve always been interested, I realise some people will take you for a ride but I believe some have “the gift”. I too was the most rational and logical person but I have had some experiences in my life that have shown me there is more to life than what is obvious on the surface. Anyway if I could get a could local recommendation for a psychic / fortune teller I think I’d go although I too am a bit scared of hearing bad news or even inferring it!

@MissSparkles81 My friend had a reading after she lost her nan and then had a miscarriage few months later. She was told she'd end up having two children (she's had her rainbow since). She told me that they would not tell you anything negative (such as death, illness etc) - is this right? Xxx

@MrsMGE There is nothing to be scared off. I have been for lots of readings in the past but when my mum died I couldnt face going. Maybe this is a sign that its time to go for a reading.

I love alternative therapies and will be starting my reflexology sessions again in January and will keep the reiki sessions going.

The way I see it is I dont drink or smoke or really go out that much so its my treats to myself.

@MissSparkles81 I don't dismiss that at all. I used to be the most reasonable person of all, scientific explanation for everything, and of course I used to think all the things we talked about before - psychics, crystals, meditation, acupuncture, reiki, reflexology, are a joke or some kind of witchcraft.

Following my MC I had a number of inexplicable events happening in my life which made me tune into my spiritual side. I am totally converted, there is definitely more to life than what we can see and explain. And if it's comforting and gives you reassurance, then great - it's best to go with it. Very tempted to have a reading mysekf, but I'm scared tbh. Xxx

@SunshineCrocodile it was really relaxing thank you. The lady that done it is also a psychic and she said something interesting afterwards. I wasn't to make any decisions till after a week on Monday ... she was able to tell me that this message was from my mum by pinpointing her anniversary.

The only decision I guess we have at the moment is when to start trying again. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow for bloods so maybe its a sign I need to wait on the results? I am being tested for antiphosphilip syndrome as I had a positive result a few years back.

I get that many of you may not believe in all of this and think I am raving but I do take some comfort in it all.

@SunStruck I'm definitely with you on a healthy weekends and dry Jan mission, it's hard on the weekends!

Yesterday was a write off, I was dying on my sofa for hours, although McDs took the edge off! Today I got up, blitzed my house and currently putting up my decorations. Got friends and family coming over later, so a busy Sunday! I made a mistake of weighing myself this morning and it showed 1 kg more than before my work do on Friday, so girls, DON'T DO THAT to yourselves 😂 I'm eating better today and back on to being good this week... Apart from two client lunches, but I'll be as good as I can 😊

I'm not taking any time off either. 23 Dec was meant to be the beginning of my maternity leave and I'd rather keep myself busy than stay at home and overthink things again xxx

Would love to have some wine with you ladies 😍😉 How's the hangover @MrsMGE? Got some McDonalds in the end? My Christmas party is this Thursday, so I'll feel the same as you on Friday! @Avocuddles, are you still waiting for O/AF?

Not much to report here, really busy how before next week when I'm sure things will die down for the holidays. I'm not taking any time off apart from the regular days we get (Xmas Day, Boxing Day). What about you ladies?

I'm definitely up for healthy living from next year! I'm already healthy during the weeks but it's difficult for me to stay on the straight and narrow during the weekends 🤣🐷 Maybe I'll try to do dry Jan.

@SunshineCrocodile No I’ve tested enough that I’ve given up on a BFP and yesterday I started to get PMT although that’s very late given I usually get that about a week before AF is due and AF was due about 5 days ago... I do get bad PMT though, I feel emotional and depressed so now I just want AF to come tbh!

Yes I think we never want to bury our babies obviously but once the worst had happened I do don’t it helps to be able to have a place to visit. I visited my daughter’s grave yesterday and it helps me to feel I’m doing something sometimes. Even if I don’t go that often it helps to know I can.

I didn’t go to my party as I didn’t feel up to it. I haven’t been well this week and I probably had the start of PMT on Friday but hopefully they understand as they know I usually make an effort to go and they knew I’d passed out on Wednesday night as I was off work on the Thursday. I went to client do on Wednesday and wore some heeled boots and my feet really hurt too as I’m not used to wearing heels these days either!

@VenusStarr I hope you’re ok.

@Anny27 To be honest for me it’s not just about the number on the scales, in fact I don’t really weight myself and don’t know what I weight, but a big part of it is just being healthier. I know I eat too much chocolate! I am a little bigger since I had my daughter (I had a full term loss) but maybe just a dress size and I think maybe I have to accept my body has changed because I had a baby! I should still make an effort to get in shape though...

Hope everyone else is ok xx

@SunshineCrocodile thanks for sharing. Its strange how even in the same woman that hcg can fall at different levels! The lines are fainter now but still there! Hoping they drop soon as want this first period to be over with and then start trying again :) are you waiting for your next period before ttc again?

I've been tracking calories with my fitness pal as well! I lost a lot of weight after the miscarriage so trying to put that back on (dont hate me 🙈- I know everyone else is losing weight but I have always struggled with gaining weight)

Thank you so much for the kind gift @Mumlili8 ❤️ you are so thoughtful and generous. It means a lot xx

Big thank you to everyone on here for your support. I really appreciate having you guys in this huddle ☺️

I'm struggling a bit this weekend, seem to be quite crampy and light bleeding which I know can be normal, especially as I did have the polyp removed so they did more rummaging. Dh even commented that I'm distant and negative (I honestly don't even know that I'm doing that?) we spent some nice time together yesterday but I think he's frustrated with me 😔

That's lovely that you have somewhere special for your babies @SunshineCrocodile ❤️

Hope everyone has a lovely day xxx

One day I'll post without a major bold fail...

Oh well done @VenusStarr that's fantastic! I can't actually weigh myself for the Great Penguin Shed-a-Thon as my scales have no battery but I've been tracking my food using MyFitnessPal and a photo diary app for the last few days and have been really mindful of eating good nutritious food and watching my portions so hopefully it'll show when I finally face the horror of the scales. I need to get back the gym and yoga.

Happy to have a separate thread or just post in here every so often but so glad to have company!

@ReeRi sorry about the BFN. Still some hope while AF stays away? Think you asked if I buried my babies nearby - yes, they're within walking distance but not somewhere I'll pass regularly unless I decide to visit. It's a beautiful little spot and I'm glad I have somewhere to go and remember them - I'll probably go and plant some primroses in spring for the babies I couldn't bury. I'm glad you can visit your daughter too, I do think it's strangely comforting to know they have a 'place' in this world.

@Anny27 I've previously had a bfn on a cheapie around 3 weeks after passing the pregnancy (MMC at 10 weeks), which would be 4 weeks after starting bleeding. I never tested to negative on a frer though. This time round I'm only a week post mc at a later gestation but it seems to be fading faster, so I do think there's a range of 'normal' even in the same person. I'd definitely be asking for a check up if still testing positive 4 weeks on though just to rule out any retained tissue, especially if they're quite strong positives still?

@Babykent2019 bleeding at any time can be harmless or not unfortunately so it's a waiting game - I hope your positive continues to get stronger, we're here for you if not x

@MissSparkles81 how are you feeling? Hope the reflexology helped relax you.

Had my client Christmas do last night which is the big fancy one - I don't drink so no hangover but my feet! My eyes! I'm not used to heels and makeup! How did your post-party Saturdays go @ReeRi and @MrsMGE? Hope the McD's took the edge off yesterday!

Thanks @Mumlili8 for sharing your experience with testing after mc. I was 11.5 weeks but was MMC so baby was few weeks less. Hopefully it wont be too much longer for me 🤞🤞 never thought I would be wishing for a bfn or my period to arrive 😂😂

Evening ladies:) have been reading all the messages but not commenting untill I am actually ttc again.

But just wondered when you got your bfn after miscarriage? It has been 27 since start of medical miscarriage and 3 weeks (23 days) since erpc and still getting faint positives. EPU said not an issue as hcg is decreasing but just wondered when people got their bfns?

@Mumlili8 💖

I don’t mind it being on this thread but it might be a bit annoying for those who are not interested or sometimes be a bit strange if others unfortunately come on here to talk about MC or horrible situation and I’d feel weird doing a weigh in 😂

@Mumlili8 Thank you for my parcel. It came early but I’ve been doing my Christmas gift wrapping for hours and just opened it. They are beautiful - it was so kind and thoughtful of you to send them to us xxx

@Mumlili8 thank you so much for the lovely parcel I received today! It made shed a tear, but in the best of ways. You are a truly awesome person, and I will treasure your gifts and carry them every day x

Ha @MrsMGE Glad you had a good time!

Well done @VenusStarr that’s fantastic - what have you been doing? Tbh I don’t need to lose loads of weight but definitely a Stone at least and I know my issue is eating lots of sweet things like chocolate...

Hope everyone else is ok