TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 33- huddle up and bring on the BFP's

Thank you @MrsMGE. I hate the limbo of waiting for AF and having that grain of hope rattling around in my head but once it arrives so will the acceptance. On the bright side I've been on a health kick already for a month and actually lost weight over Christmas, very glad to have company come the new year though. Tonight I'm wallowing in leftover chocolate cake but it'll be a blip and I'll be back on it tomorrow! Bring it on.

Hey @BunnyTheBlueWhale, I will be popping in every week/fortnight or so. Otherwise I'm finding it a bit too overwhelming with how busy this thread is and I don't want to focus on pregnancy/loss talk as much as I used to. DH and I are not thinking about TTC till spring, we've decided now this is for the best mentally, physically and also financially. We'll give ourselves 3 months to get really fit and then we're off on two holidays and I'm buying a car. Once the big, expensive things are out of the way, we'll be stronger and happier which is a good thing. I choose to have a we'll see what happens attitude. Xxx

Yes! We need to get healthier for 2020! Will you be sticking around for that @MrsMGE?

I know for me I just need to cut down on snacking on sugary foods and exercise more. I also want to try to eat breakfast or take fruit to work and also take lunch into work so I’m not spending £25-75 a lunch and snacks!

Just here to send you a big hug @SunshineCrocodile. It's truly shit, I'm sorry lovely. Let yourself feel shit for as long as you need to. It will pass, as you know, but you're allowed to feel this way and let it out. Sending love your way, don't forget about our health mission starting soon, it's a positive thing and a good one to focus on, which is going to help you. I'm definitely still game! Xxx

@MrsG3 it sucks doesn't it? Sorry to hear you've had a CP too, especially over Christmas. This is our fourth pregnancy loss this year, 2 CP and 2 MMC. I'm trying to look on the bright side that at least I'm getting pregnant easily but it's not much comfort when I lose them all. Fingers crossed for both of us this cycle.

Yeah definitely easier to do if you’re not occupied by other things! Fingers crossed 🤞

@shanine It is hard not to symptom spot at times! Good luck to you

@SunshineCrocodile I hope it isn’t what you think but we are here as you know

I’m sorry @MrsG3 it is rubbish

I have NC by the way. I was Alice and then Ree...

Does anyone have big plans for NYE? We are invited to a friends’ party but I am having a root canal tomorrow morning so we’ll see how I feel! 🙈

@SunshineCrocodile just saw your post and wanted to say you're not on your own. I had a faint bfp on Christmas Eve, then had a bit of spotting on Christmas Day but that all settled down. Then 27th AF arrived. Gutted here too, it's all a bit crap isn't it 😞

Afternoon all. So I cracked and tested - got a faint BFP on a frer yesterday, but today I've had some pink spotting and the line on today's test was fainter although still there. So I expect it'll be another CP although AF hasn't fully arrived yet.

Feeling so flat. Don't know why I expect a pregnancy to stick any more. At least this time I'm not being strung along for ten weeks before I lose it but it's still just a bit shit. Wish I hadn't tested now.

@Twinklelittlestar1 oh really? Interesting. We are just going to make more effort to dtd more... maybe we’ll have renewed energy in the new year. I can’t temp as I’m often up in the night with our two year old, which I think means it won’t be accurate? Never thought it would be this complicated!

@Twinklelittlestar1 Yeah I think I am just focussing on the TTC right now but the anxiety about never having a living child comes from the fear of loss too. So I fell pregnant again in August but had a MC so that factors in to my fear but I’m not thinking ahead past getting pregnant and early pregnancy if that makes sense. To be honest I just want to see how the next few months go and keep TTC without getting stressed about it. I didn’t track this month and I think that was good for us

@tmc14 I’m sorry your cycle seems to be a bit all over the place but if you keep dtd you should catch your fertile period

@tmc14 the last time I fell pregnant I never got a positive on an opk. I'd used them in previous years of ttc and had success with them. I got all stressed that I wasn't ovulating/ my system was messed up then suddenly I was pregnant! I was using cheapies and the clear blues, cheapies showed really faint lines all month and clear blue just gave me negatives. It has happened to my friend too, the month she caught with her son

Thanks for all the congratulations, I'm in total shock, I tested a couple of days early which I never do but one of us had to drive at the last minute on Xmas day and I thought I may as well see if it should be me! I really hope to see all of you getting BFPs soon x

@Ejb86 sorry you had this problem too. We probably do need to spice things up a bit to be honest. Since our son was born, it’s not very frequent or exciting!! And now it’s just about baby making, which I realise isn’t ideal.

@SunshineCrocodile definitely won’t tell you to sod off!! This is a long standing issue, Dr has said it’s psychological, although that was a long time ago now. I think it’s just the stresses of life mixed with stresses of ttc. I really need to put more effort into getting our sex life back on track and not just trying on my most fertile days.

Thanks @BunnytheBlueWhale I feel very lucky that we’ve managed to get pregnant twice even with a not very active sex life, so just keeping everything crossed we can manage again.

@Shefliesonherownwings @Twinklelittlestar1 so very sorry for your losses. I’m finding having somewhere to come, even if just to read & not post, so helpful. x

I’m not even sure I ovulated the other day now. I use cheap opks which have always worked for me, I thought I’d just missed the peak but got some ewcm last night. So maybe my body has tried twice so far to ovulate this month and failed 🤷🏻‍♀️ (I’ve had two almost positives but not quite). Will keep testing /trying to dtd just in case. Miscarrying has seemed to mess up my system more than I thought.

@BunnytheBlueWhale number one thing that helped me with pregnancy after loss is concentrating on one day at a time. Focus on the ttc bit right now, don't look too far ahead as it can engulf you in huge waves of anxiety and actually the anxiety about the idea of pregnancy after loss can be worse than the actual pregnancy itself. I expected it to be horrendous. It wasn't easy and at times it was triggering of all the trauma but I had so much medical support.

@Twinklelittlestar1 Women are having babies later and later. I think I even posted that on this thread or another one earlier today so I do realise that. I think I’m just anxious about getting pregnant and being pregnant again but I really should focus on the fact that I have no reason to think I can’t have a healthy baby. Thanks for sharing your experience. It does help to speak to others who have sadly had similar experiences xx

@BunnytheBlueWhale I was 36 when I lost my daughter and was 38 when I had my son without any complications. Another loss mum from our group was the same age as me and another was older at 41 when she had her successful pregnancy. I also know another loss mum through the groups who was 46 and although she suffered several miscarriages she did still go on to have a healthy pregnancy 18 months after trying. X

@Twinklelittlestar1 Thank you for saying that. The rational part of my brain knows that the likelihood is that I can have a healthy baby but after losing our DD in February and then having a miscarriage in August, and all the negative tests in between, it’s easy to wonder whether it will happen for us. Especially after what happened, we know there are no guarantees of anything. I was 34 when I found out I was pregnant with our DD and I will soon be 36 so I worry about that too. I want to try to be more laid back about it if I can and try to focus on the positives x

@BunnytheBlueWhale after I lost my daughter I connected with so many ladies who had experienced stillbirth around the same time. There were 8 different ladies I was close to and who I talked to online almost daily. Of those, every single one has gone on to have a healthy baby. I hope that gives you some hope x

Thank you @Twinklelittlestar1 I am sorry for your losses too. I do hope we get to have another baby one day x

@BunnytheBlueWhale I'm so sorry for your loss too. Words can't describe the pain. It's three years since I lost my daughter. It's still so difficult but I have a happiness I never thought I'd ever get to feel again and that was unimaginable in those early months. Sending love and support x

@Shefliesonherownwings I'm so so sorry for your loss, that is so fresh. I understand the want/ need to try again soon after loss. After I lost my daughter at 31 weeks I fell pregnant 3 months later and had my son a year almost to the day after. It's difficult because of course you are in the midst of grief but I do believe it was the right thing for us x