TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 33- huddle up and bring on the BFP's

Thank you @LASandOtto, I did want to put a note to say you've not triggered anything for me. I genuinely am so happy for you. It does give me hope. I wrote out something but then deleted it because I didn't want you to think you'd upset me but then thought you might not think that. Turns out you did. As you can see, far too much thinking going on over here 😔

Thanks for understanding, it means a lot. I'm going to make some dinner, turn my phone off and do more of my jigsaw. I bought myself a new one from the charity shop on Saturday... Rock and roll round here 😉 x

@VenusStarr don't think that lovely!

I 100 percent understand your feelings, as all of us do on this thread. Hoping and then being disappointed and then hoping again. It's a horrible cycle of ups and downs! It feels like it's never ending!

But hope is what keeps us going, there will be a future which will be brighter! Like your therapist says, imagine everything working out! It's so much more uplifting than imagining the worst!

None of us having done anything wrong, we are unfortunate to be dealt with these obstacles but someone has to be the minority in a statistic.... and it is us, sadly. But it made us all meet on here, it gave us reasons to be humble again, to live with more awareness, grow closer and stronger with some people.

Please don't feel you're alone. We are all here for you. I'm really sorry for having posted about my positive test today as I am all too aware how it affects everyone else's moods and situations too!

Sending you the biggest hug! X

Congratulations @LASandOtto ❤️ brilliant news.

I'm really struggling, I've done it to myself. I've become obsessed with being pregnant and had almost convinced myself I was. I even dreamt about rainbows ffs. Af is due tomorrow or today, who knows. Last cycle was only 21 days but I'm cd25 today. I had a convincing squinter on a frer on Saturday but just a white space today. I'm more cross at myself than anything.
My therapist said I should try thinking what if things go well, which I have been doing but I've taken it too far to the it's actually happening and the reality is, it's not happening, not even close. Down to earth with a bump. I think it's easier to wallow in the negativity than being hopeful and having those hopes put out.
I'm really sorry for being so negative but needed to brain dump.

@LASandOtto gentle congratulations! This is lovely news! A surprise BFP is the best sort. I hope it's a sticky one and third time will be the charm!

@BunnytheBlueWhale sorry AF arrived but I hear you on the relief when the PMT mood cloud finally clears.

Fingers crossed for you @SunStruck. Sounds really hopeful re timings and two follicles! @Avocuddles great news that you might have a good shot at natural ovulation this month! Hope
you both get lucky.

@Broccolilover07 sorry to hear of your MC. As Avocuddles said it's best to wait for a negative test, it shouldn't be more than two or three weeks. I hear you though, I've had two MMC in the past year and tried again straight after the negative test both times. Not to put you off, but I actually had CPs both times in the first cycle post MC which I (unscientifically) think was down to not having enough lining for a fertilised egg to attach to - supported by the fact both of my bleeds with CP have been very light spotting, not proper AF flow. Mind you having a CP is not very different physically to AF so hasn't made a difference in terms of TTC, it's just the extra emotional toll of knowing I've lost another pregnancy.

Well my AF has arrived! I’m actually glad as my PMT is so bad that’s simply a relief. I feel lighter 😃

@SunStruck not really... we did SMEP (more or less tbh, not quite as religiously as we had family around and it was Xmas). I was using the CB Monitor for the first time which took some time getting used to, but it did track ovulation well and can see it being useful for future cycles.

Thanks for everyone's support!

I'll keep you ladies posted! XXX

@bunnythebluewhale thank you! Ahhh you're Ree - good to see you again 😄 I will join the other thread too!

@lasotto oh my god congrats!!! I know it's super early days but what a way to start the year 🥰 did you do anything differently this time around?

Fingers crossed for you @LASandOtto! I think CB is unlikely to give a false +ve🤞

@SunStruck I'm not temping at the moment. I did try it in the past but found it too stressful with a long and confusing cycle. I'll use another opk when I get home from work then we'll give it a go tonight and see what happens....
Come join us on the other thread, it's a good place for general chatting without TTC being the number one focus.....

@LASandOtto tentative congratulations, how exciting for you! I'm hoping there are lots more BFPs to come on here, and that they are sticky ones for us x

Happy New Year @SunStruck! Nice to read you 🤩 how are you doing?

Can understand going quiet for a while, I did the same over Xmas and just before as had a lot going on!

Ladies - so, I had a bit of a shocker this morning. I got a BFP on my Clearblue Digital Monitor this morning. I didn't expect that as I was waiting for AF today. The monitor makes you do a test every day in the run up to your estimated AF due date, so I did one 3 days ago and 2 days ago and those were negative. I skipped yesterday as thought well, I'm out, and then today the positive! Not sure what to make of it?!

Guess I'll wait and see as it may be a false positive or a chemical?

Just imaging it wasn't and all would end well, maybe third time lucky after our two MCs in 2019?

X

Hi @SunStruck I have NC. I was Ree most recently

This is the other thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3781794-TTC-after-loss-penguins-get-fit-healthy-in-2020?msgid=92892000#92892000

Hopefully the link works!

@avocuddles oh that sounds great! Short cycle for people like us 🤣 wow fingers crossed. We might be in the TTW at the same time then! Do you temp or have any other possibility to check you've ovulated or not?

Happy new year @bunnythebluewhale! Have you name changed from something I recognized before?!! Haha!

How are things going with you and "the journey"? I hope you could relax over Xmas and NYE and let your hair down a bit! I know I did 😉

What is the name of the other thread? X

Hi @SunStruck! My nurse consultation was supposed to be today but has been pushed back to Thursday due to staffing. Ironically this morning I had a fairly strong opk so it's possible I might be about to ovulate naturally with a cycle of c34 days which is very good going for me (last one was 60 days with no ovulation.....).
I rang the clinic and they said it's ok to go ahead and DTD as long as we tell them at the appointment, then if things don't work out naturally then we should be able to start the treatment in a couple of weeks time.
Re whether you should try again tonight, I would see how your DH feels. Hopefully last night will have been sufficient, but if you can get him to feel in the mood without performance anxiety then all the better! I just sent a text to my DH telling him that they said we can go for it if we like and he was delighted as I've been making him wear condoms for the past month! It is easy to forget it's hard on men too, from everything I've read on here it is very common for the pressure of TTC to lead to performance issues

@MrsMGE I once read that grief is just love with nowhere to go. In that sense I think it should be there forever but I think it gets easier and we should never feel guilty for feeling “ok”

Hope everyone else is ok

Happy New Year to you @SunStruck!

I think @MrsMGE has tagged you on our second thread which we set up to talk about healthy eating and exercise etc for the New Year

@avocuddles @MrsMGE @venusstarr @Mumlil @lasotto and everyone else I've forgotten, Happy New Year! May 2020 bring us baby dust 😄

I've taken a break over the holidays to not think about this because our due date was 18th is December, and it's been good for the mind and soul!

How are all you ladies getting on? What's the plan for attack (if any, you might just want to chill and go with the flow which I completely understand - At 36 I don't have that luxury though 😔).

I'm currently on a protocol of letrezole @ gonal-f shots, and had my scan and trigger shot of ovidrel yesterday. I'm pretty certain I've ovulated last night as temp just shot up, so fingers crossed this time around! At the scan yesterday I had 2 large follicles so hopefully both ovulated with the shot so I have more of a chance this month. We dtd last night per Dr's order and should be tonight too, but poor DH got some performance issues now, there's lots of pressure on men too 😔 I don't know if we should try tonight or leave it, what do you think? I want to maximize our chances and we have paid for this cycle and the meds, but I also feel sorry for him.

How are you getting on with your protocol (or was that starting this month?) @avocuddles?

@mrsmge how's my sista from another mista? 😘

Yes that’s not a bad idea. Thanks @Avocuddles DH really wants to have another baby but seems to get frightened off easily by OPKs and too much planning. He would be spooked by me suggesting we go to the doctors. He smokes so I wished he’d just give that up! I can go on my own obviously but if it came to testing him he’d struggle with that.

@Broccolilover07 there's no harm at all in trying again immediately, but it's worth making sure you have a negative test before you do - not so much in case you fall pregnant again, but to make sure that there definitely isn't anything being retained in you that could put you at risk of infection. After my first miscarriage the scan looked completely clear and I thought I'd passed everything so was surprised when I still had a faint positive after two weeks, but a couple of days later I passed another clot and then a couple of days after that my test was completely clear.
I really hope you don't have to wait long for your rainbow baby! Was this your first pregnancy?

No, I haven’t had a negative pregnancy test as yet, but I was going to try again this cycle on day 13/14, I feel that I will help me if I start trying again straight away.

@BunnytheBlueWhale there's definitely no harm in speaking to your GP sooner rather than later. Being 35+ is a blessing as well as a curse in so much as the NHS seems to sit up and pay much more attention to us 'geriatrics' who are struggling with TTC so there's every chance they might be willing to support you now. There's more likely than not nothing 'wrong', but it can reassuring to have the basic fertility tests to rule things out.

@shanine ditto it's definitely worth speaking to the doctor and explaining your concerns as well as making clear the negative impact this is having on your wellbeing. I don't ovulate every month (I haven't ovulated at all since my second miscarriage in September) but am about to start ovulation stimulation medication in the next couple of weeks so I at least know that I have a chance of pregnancy. I'm pretty terrified at the thought of another miscarriage but can't imagine how anxious you must feel after your heartbreaking experience. I hope the dark cloud of today passes quickly, it's understandably so disheartening when AF arrives but on the plus side this is the start of a new cycle which could be THE ONE!

@Broccolilover07 sorry you've found yourself here. In answer to your question, I understand that in theory you count from the day of passing the embryo, however be aware that your first cycle might be longer and you might potentially not ovulate this month as your body recovers. My MCs were both at 7-8 weeks and I had intermittent bleeding for a few weeks after, and took a full three weeks to get a negative test. Have you had a BFN yet?

@Broccolilover07 I would say wait and start counting cycle days after your next period. Your miscarriage doesn't count as a period (in my opinion). I'm happy to be corrected if anyone knows otherwise.

@shanine You keep me updated and let me know how it goes too but hopefully we won’t get to that point!!

@Broccolilover07 Sorry you find yourself here. I’m sure someone will be able to give you some advice

I just had a text from a friend who is pregnant. She is a work colleague who works in another office so I don’t see her often at all (3-4 times a year max) but we clicked from the start. She had a MMC a few years ago and then had her little boy a few months before I had my little girl who was stillborn. We were on mat leave together. I’m pleased for her because it took her a long time to get pregnant with her son and I really like her but I am selfishly also thinking about myself and once again feeling like every woman I know of childbearing age is pregnant! I do have PMT though so feeling a bit emosh... She said she wanted to tell me first (she is telling our boss tomorrow when we’re back at work) and I really appreciate her telling me actually

Just wondered if anyone can help....I miscarried on Christmas Day at 6 weeks - it all came away on that day and I’ve been rescanned since and has been confirmed that it’s all gone. I’m wanting to ttc again as soon as possible. Do you count day one of a new cycle from the date that you passed the embryo? I’ve searched this and there is lots of conflicting info. My pregnancy app seems to think that’s it’s day 14 from the first day of the bleeding which was 23rd December? Any help or advice would be so greatly received.