Overwhelming fear of infertility?

@Oysterbabe omg exactly this. I've always felt the exact same way!

I think what makes it worse is my sister is the most fertile woman on the planet. She got accidentally pregnant with her first, and then deliberately pregnant with her second within 2 weeks of coming off BC. The little voice in the back of my head always whispers that it won't be that easy for me.

Yup, I am also this person although with genuine reason.

I had chemotherapy when I was younger (pre puberty) and I'm terrified this will have made me infertile.

I get married fairly soon and then we will be trying but I've never tried before, never had a scare and have convinced myself I must be infertile.

My periods are regular but I've no idea if this is a good sign or not and unfortunately only time will tell I think.

I tried using OPKs last month but I'm not sure they worked as I drink a hell of a lot of water and therefore I wondered if it may have been diluting things.

I really worried about this too. I was quite the hussy in my 20s and I worried that I'd caught an infection without knowing and fucked my tubes up. I needn't have worried. I conceived my 2 fairly easily.

Have been TTC for our first for 8 months now, terrified it’ll never happen 😟

Possibly implantation bleeding @Niffler1988 if af doesn't appear in a couple of days do a test. Good luck

I hear you all! I was convinced I would t be able to conceive so we didn’t actively “try” we just stopped actively preventing. Didn’t believe 3 BFPs, 7 scans, all the morning sickness and the bulging belly, didn’t believe the midwives in the delivery room that my baby was nearly here and still don’t quite believe that my amazing 3 month old DS is really with us.
I think it’s because conception and birth are the most common and personal of miracles, it’s the most amazing thing that one day this little person didn’t exist and the next day they did exist, and it’s your body that did it! My mind is blown that I got so lucky and had no problems during pregnancy, labour or recovery, and zero reasons to think I wouldn’t be able to do this. Us women really are a little bit crazy when it comes to this stuff, glad it’s not just me!
Good luck and baby dust to you OP! “Born in 2020” has a nice ring to it

Hi @Sunflower2019! I remember you from another thread we were on. xx

So glad you started this thread..

I’m 32, I have a dd from a previous relationship who’s 11.. fell pregnant straight away...

This time round I’ve been trying since end of June and each month I’m certain somethings wrong with me, wondering why I haven’t fallen pregnant and my cycles seem a little out of whack etc.. all these thoughts going through my head thinking is it my age, early menopause, what if it takes me years and I can’t even get IVF with my new partner as I already have a child 😭(if there is an issue)

He has had tests and all good bar his morphology which we can try and improve..

I’m trying some supplements and trying not to panic but until I get that bfp I think I’m going to...

Good luck with your journey xxx

@Niffler1988 I was exactly the same month before last because my cycle was all over the show but it's now regulated and currently in my second 2 week wait.
Just took me a little longer than the average to go back to normal after the Pill. I know it's hard but distracting yourself really helps and just watch how amazing the human body is and it's changes. Getting to know your cycle is so important xx

Sorry to hear about AF but good that things are regulating.

I'm a couple of days before ovulation, if OPKs are anything to go by. Heading down to see long-distance DP tomorrow for the weekend. Hoping Cycle 5 will be the one!

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

Sorry af has arrived @Niffler1988 but a regular cycle is a good start. I'm still waiting for af to arrive to start my FET cycle. No sign of ovulation on opk, in fact they're getting lighter, so no idea when af will rock up. Good luck for cycle #2

All totally normal :) including the ‘well, that goes for everyone else but not for me’ thoughts lol. I was 31 too and did some reading around fertility stats that reassured me, seeing in black and white the difference in chances between my age and if I’d tried at say 21. The change was so minuscule.

I had this fear too but didn't in reality expect it to come true. Unfortunately for me, it did. I've now discovered I have endo and PCOS and am currently 36. I'm not telling you this to scare you. I just wanted to let you know that although infertility totally sucks, it's not necessarily the end. After 18 months of trying and a mmc, we finally fell pregnant with my now 3 yo. We've been trying again for nearly two years and started IVF. I fell pregnant in the first cycle but unfortunately had another mmc 3 weeks ago. It's not going to stop me though. I'm incredibly stubborn and am determined to do everything I can to give my dd a sibling. I hope you don't have to go through any of this but if you do, just know that it can still work out. Good luck!

I feel this way! On fifth cycle TTC this month, and just can't ever imagine seeing a BFP.

I'm trying to switch my mindset to more positive thinking though.

Yep! I had no idea how common this was until one of my doctor friends told me he hears this ALLLLL THE TIME from patients. It’s incredibly common to worry you’ll never be able to get pregnant if you never have been pregnant before. For me it was a combo of just not being able to remotely envisage my body being capable of that, plus knowing about conceiving and the science behind it and how unlikely it all seemed, plus for me I’m subfertile and have endo and only one unblocked tube so statistically the odds were quite a bit lower. Also I thought about the few times in my life I haven’t been too careful and that I didn’t get pregnant then. Society drums it into you if you have unprotected sex just ONCE you WILL get pregnant but it’s just not that simple to guarantee. It blew my mind learning about how we only release one egg every month and how you need the sperm there at the right time to meet it etc.

I found it helped to do everything I could to increase my chances (timing, app, OPKs, sperm friendly lube) so I at least knew that I’d done everything I could practically to boost my chances and the rest would be down to luck rather than user error (not having sex at the right time for example).

Statistically it’s overwhelmingly likely you will be one of the 90% of couples who conceive within a year. And if not, there’s help out there. And at 31 you have plenty of time because you’ve started in good time so if you do need help you have fertile years left to explore it. You’re in a very strong position!

As it stands we ended up pregnant within two weeks of trying 😂 but there’s only a 20% chance each month of conception with a healthy couple having sex at the right time, so don’t worry if this first cycle is a BFN. It probably will be. Just keep going. And update the thread when you get your BFP!

I'm 28 and it took me 9 months of TTC to even get a whiff of a bfp!! When we started I genuinely thought it'd take a few months tops, so it was a huge surprise and it wasn't long before I was worried I was infertile (ahhh don't ya love the human brain?). The best thing I recommend is to read the book Taking Charge of your Fertility. I got pregnant the cycle after and am currently 22 weeks with my first.

I feared I was infertile before even ttc because I had never accidentally gotten pregnant when not being the most cautious. All was fine though. I think it's normal to fear the unknown especially when it's something you really want.

I worried from as young as I can remember that I might not be able to have children.

I can. Turns out I married someone who couldn't though typical!!

I also have this fear of infertility even though we have only just started trying. For me, I think a lot of it stems from what we were taught at school about how easy it would be to get pregnant if you don't use contraceptives, even though now I have actually started TTC it seems so much more complicated and time sensitive!

It kind of makes me think 'well they said we would get pregnant if we even looked at semen unprotected, so if I don't get pregnant straightaway something must be wrong'...

But I know that this is incorrect and it's can take 6 months to 1 year for most people my age.

I think most people probably have the same worry! We started “not not trying”’6 months before we ideally wanted me to get pregnant. Guess how pregnant I was by the time the 6 months rolled around?! 3 months away from giving birth if that’s a clue!