TTC after baby loss / stillbirth

I am so sorry for your loss, happy birthday to your little girl.

Are you doing anything today? I understand your sad and may not be able reply. X

@BrokenNost I’m so sorry for the loss of your baby boy and that you’ve been through so much. It would have been my DD first birthday today so I’m feeling a little sad... This is a lovely group so I hope you find some support here xx

I found this chat and read through all of your experiences yesterday evening, so please don’t worry about repeating your experiences as they’re etched in my mind forever. I’m so so sorry to all of you for having to go through what you did.

@booandbumpp, you mentioned about going into
Hiding . I have done exactly that and will be doing so the next few months. Or at least until after my baby’s due date - July. Two of my friends and two of my cousins are pregnant. One friend is due in April the other was due two weeks before me. I can’t face them and they understand, everyone has been so so understanding and supportive which I appreciate but I just want to isolate myself.

@BunnytheElephant, I know you are not getting the support you need/deserve so I am very sorry about that. I know what a difference it can make.

@sh84- your experience seems the most similar to mine, although I have yet to receive the test results. We suspect it was a placental failure. The membranes ruptured from all the bleeding and clots which made my body go into labour. How depressing I have no control over my body when I thought I did. I can walk when I want to, pick up an item when need to but my body won’t listen to me when I need to save my babies life.

I am in no way ready to start trying again but find it helpful reading your experiences/sharing mine and would like to continue this journey with the support of you strong women and provide support/good advice when needed.

Also a gentle congratulations to the women who are pregnant.

Good morning. Room for another sad and unfortunate experience?

I am late 20s, I had a had two miscarriages. The first was a chemical at 6 weeks in 2018, second was a mmc at 9 weeks in August 2019. After the mmc, I wanted to try again straight away. I waited until after my first period (beginning of October) as advised and got pregnant. Everything was going well until around 15 weeks, when I started bleeding and passing clots due to a low placenta. Bleeding and clots continued on and off until I became hospitalised for gushing blood at 17 weeks. I was discharged two days after and took it very easy. Later that week I had another clot but this time it was more mucousy with bits of blood (I now realised that was the start of the labour) I then leaked a little amniotic fluid and my contractions started at 4pm. I called the maternity assessment unit at 7:30pm and they told me to come in. I was admitted and the contractions wore off the next day around lunchtime. Great I thought.

They started up again at 6pm and continued to get worse until I couldn’t take it anymore and called my midwife. It all happened so fast after that, I was wheeled into the labour room and even then the drs/midwives didn’t understand why it was happening. Cervix was closed, baby was strong and healthy and amniotic fluid was fine. They told me it could go either way and within an hour my water broke and my little baby boy made his appearance. He lay on my chest while his heart beat and passed away. His entire life was spent on my chest. My body failed him.

He was 17 weeks and 6 days. That was the 1st February so not long ago and my husband and I are struggling so so much. We are still in shock.

I’m on thanks @lunamoon1 How are you? xx

@BunnytheElephant I hope you are doing as well as you can today, such a difficult day, sending lots of love💐x

@sh84 hi again, sorry to have said that I thought everyone had gone lol. I completely agree, feel like that every month and it really does get you down. I really do hope it's your month🤞🏼 it does, it's crazy how quickly life goes back to 'normal' for everyone else & we're stuck trying to accept that this is the way life is now x

@booandbumpp congratulations! It's totally normal to feel the way you do, so please don't apologise. It's getting from one hurdle to the next, it's not easy. Wishing you a very uneventful pregnancy though and I hope you can enjoy it as much as possible. That's good you have talked about all eventualities, you will need each other a lot through this pregnancy x

@somewhereovertherainbow18 welcome, I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter, I'm glad you managed to have your son not long after & that you have him at home with you. We will be here for you during your journey of TTC again. I used the advanced CB OPK but not really keen on them and the IC's seem to work just as well for me so I'm going to be sticking to them too x

@booandbumpp I meant of course you’re worried, not worked 🙄

@lunamoon1 DM me any time you want x

This is the fit and healthy 2020 thread for anyone who is interested

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3781794-TTC-after-loss-penguins-get-fit-healthy-in-2020?msgid=93803976#93803976

@sh84 Thank you. I hope you’re ok. I think I know what you mean about being lonely. Sometimes I feel like no one really understands how feel and I don’t fit in with my friends with kids as I don’t have a living child but I also have different things going on to my friends who haven’t had children. It’s strange.

Today has been sad obviously. DH and I just went for a walk which I think was good for us.

@booandbumpp Congratulations! You don’t sound ungrateful. Of course you’re worked. I’m hoping for a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby for you. The TTC thread I go on has a pregnancy after loss thread that’s a really lovely group if you want me to find a link for it (not that I’m saying you’re not welcome to hang out here as long as you want)

I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter @somewhereovertherainbow18 and hope you conceive number 3 soon 🌈

💕 love and baby dust to everyone

Hi everyone,
Hoping I can join too. I lost my beautiful baby daughter due to medical negligence during labour when she was one week overdue in Feb 2017, hard to believe it is coming up to her 3rd birthday / anniversary.

I'm a little further down the road than some people here and conceived her brother 4 months later - he's 22 months now. His whole pregnancy was wrecked with anxiety and worry but he is so worth it.

We have decided to try again for baby number 3 and you'd think having had another baby since the loss of my little girl I would be feeling a bit more confident but I'm not at all. I think once you know things can go wrong that pregnancy innocence is lost forever.

I'm CD 9 at the minute and am going to be using OPKs to track my cycles, I used the clear blue last time but I've bought some internet cheapies to see how they are. Xx

Hi ladies. I've been lurking here but not posting. I found out I'm pregnant on Friday. I know it's what I wanted, what my partner and I were trying to achieve. All those months all I wanted was a positive pregnancy test. Now I've got it I'm absolutely terrified. I think I'm gonna miscarry or that the babys heart won't be healthy like Teddy's.
We've already made a decision on what we'd do if that's the case but it was not easy, and I'm so so scared we'd actually have to go through with that decision should the time come.
Urgh, so sorry. I know everyone on this thread wants to be in this situation and I sound so so ungrateful.
Hope everyone is ok xx

@lunamoon1 I’m still lurking on here but haven’t got anything to report. Its shit that AF got you, doesn’t help with feeling low & it’s a massive slap round the face every month shouting YOUR NOT PREGNANT & you want to shout just fuck off to the world- I do anyway. I think I’m 10dpo, haven’t got a clue what way it’s going to go. I feel lonely ALOT too, it feels like everyone just carries on as normal & im just stuck in this new normal which is a shit normal.

@BunnytheBlueWhale thinking of you today. There are no words that anyone can say but just know that there are people that are thinking about you 💔

@BunnytheBlueWhale thank you, I'll have a look over at the other thread, I hope they won't mind me joining. Is there a way I could DM you too? I know I'm feeling this thread has turned into a conversation for two lol. Hope your DH had a lovely birthday. The 'big events' are tough xx

I’m sorry you’re feeling that way @lunamoon1 It is lonely. Please do message me or PM me if ever you feel like it. AF won’t have helped. There is another TTC after loss thread I’m on but it’s more women who have experienced MC but there are some women with later losses on it. I mentioned the healthy eating one too. I only mention as it’s a bit more active than this one and in case you want more support xx

On Sunday is a year since we found out DD had died and next week is the anniversary of her birth. I feel weird because it’s on my mind but I don’t feel like talking about it at all and of course no one else has really mentioned it. I also thought (hoped) I’d be pregnant within a year as we’ve been trying most of that time but as far as I’m aware I’m not. I fell pregnant agter 6 months but MC and it seems like the time has gone so quickly. My AF is due on Friday so that’s not going to be good timing! I might have PMT as I’m a bit irritable and it keeps annoying me when the pregnant person is talking to the guy whose wife just has a baby and I can hear them. I’m not sure how to deal with it and it’s obviously bothering me more because of hormones and the time of year

It’s DH birthday tomorrow and I’ve bought him gifts and a card but we don’t really feel like going out. It’s my birthday in four weeks and I don’t think I’ll feel celebratory either. weirdly because it’s DH’s birthday I can remember exactly what I was doing this time last year, just gone 39 weeks pregnant and not aware what was ahead of me...

Sorry I’m being negative too. I just feel exhausted to be honest

xxx

@BunnytheBlueWhale I hope you managed to have a nice relaxing weekend. I'm struggling today if I'm honest, baby loss is so lonely sometimes and I'm mad at the world for taking my baby boy away. Going through the phase of feeling quite useless and pointless. Sorry to sound so negative and dark, but I guess our journey is sometimes. I'm having a day so be like this and then I'm going to have a better week (I hope). AF got me on Saturday, I guess that's part of it too, I was sure we'd have conceived again by the time his 6 month anniversary came around, but that isn't the case so I just have to shift my dreams to something new. Maybe a goal I can actually achieve. I'm going to take more of an interest in my own mental health this month too, meditation and more reading. How do you find yoga? I must admit I'm into love island too lol, it's a nice escape for an hour. Sorry for the long post, just one of those days xx

Hey @lunamoon1 the event was ok and I’d had dinner with a friend the night before that but I’ve been soo tired this week and a bit stressed. I’m so glad it’s Friday. I found work difficult today as I was feeling that exhausted 🙈 How are you? When is your AF due? I’m in the middle of the 2WW atm. We have done Hello Fresh for 3-4 weeks and it has been really good as I like to cook from fresh but we get home after 7pm most evenings and I try to go to bed early so there isn’t a lot of time. It’s been good to have everything there and try new things. This week it went a bit off as I had those two busy evenings. I’d eaten out on the Tuesday but I did cook on Wednesday after the event. Some of the meals are 15 or 20 mins to cook so I did one of those but tonight we got fish and chips 😬 I’m just watching Love Island now and then I’ll probably go to bed! Do you have weekend plans? I’m quite happy to do nothing although I am going to yoga tomorrow. I set up a healthy eating thread for the women from the other TTC thread. If you’re interested I’ll link it xx

@BunnytheBlueWhale I'm glad they do, it's so important to have that distraction and love, it's lovely. Yes actually we got a puppy not long after our son passed away and honestly she has saved us both during the hardest time in our lives. That sounds a lot, how was the event? I always have to time washing my hair too lol it's an effort. Oh lovely I didn't realise you were doing that, how are you finding it? I guess it takes all of the preplanning ect out of it which must be nice. Cycle wise I'm waiting on AF, pretty sure it will be here tomorrow or the next day... just to hurt me!🤦🏼‍♀️ it never gets particularly easier xx

@lunamoon1 How are you doing? My bunnies definitely cheer me up. Do you have any animals? Im tired today as I had dinner with a friend last night so went to bed late as I have an hour journey home from the city and then need to wash my hair (priorities!) and we had an event at work tonight so I’m just on the train home now and still need to cook etc. I probably mentioned I’m doing hello fresh so hopefully one of them is a 15 min recipe or something! xxx

@BunnytheBlueWhale thank you, it was just what we needed. That's good despite the poor sleep. Not at all, I totally feel the need to not think about them sometimes as it really does make you lose all track of time & then when you crash back down to reality it just... hurts! I must have spent 20/30 mins last night just staring at a picture of my son zooming in on his hands and feet, looking at every little line.. I guess that's normal to do but emotionally you can't do it all the time, it's exhausting. Hopefully you manage to get something organised, even just a day out if you don't manage to get away. Animals are good for the soul, no matter how you're feeling they can always cheer you up xx

@lunamoon1 Oh lovely! I’m glad you had a nice time. I’m ok actually. I didn’t sleep well last night so I’m tired but I’m feeling quite positive generally. I’m a little quick to being upset and emotional but as you say Jan is depressing at the best of times and I am getting upset thinking about my beautiful little DD. So I’m trying not to think about her too much. Is that bad? I think about her all the time but when I specifically think of holding her or her little face, hands, etc. or just dwell then I get a bit choked. I’m going to try to book something for us for February, maybe that weekend but it happens to be Valentines weekend so everywhere is busy / booked up / expensive. I have been enjoying running a bit again and I think that will get easier when it’s a bit lighter. I’m eating better than I was (less sugary food) so I feel a bit better for that. I enjoyed spending some time with my rabbits yesterday too... I hope you’re ok xxx

@BunnytheBlueWhale sorry I have been a bit M.I.A.! we went to a place just outside Edinburgh, it was lovely & just what we needed. That's good you have the option to work and home, try to relax as much as you can. How have you been feeling? Well, January is always hard anyway but even getting into the habit of eating better is a good start! It helps so many things, the mind and the body x

@lunamoon1 I’ve been on this week, thanks. I might have mentioned I was feeling almost like I had PMT for a few days but have been better this week and been busy with work. Working from home tomorrow so that’s a bit more of a relaxed day. Trying to be better with healthy eating and exercise and I’m doing ok but not amazingly 😬 Where did you go? That’s a lovely thing to do. As you say January is a bit depressing as it is so probably a good time for a break x

Hi @BunnytheBlueWhale been doing okay thank you! Just getting by really. Jan isn't the kindest month for anyone I guess. My DH & I did go away at the weekend though which was lovely. How about you, how are you doing?

How are you doing @lunamoon1?

Hope everyone else is ok

@Shefliesonherownwings lovely thank you I'll have a little read! bless you, it's so hard sometimes. Hope you're feeling a bit better today. I was struggling yesterday & Thursday more so than usual, not because of any particular dates but just because it's bloody hard sometimes! I still struggle to accept the fact I'll never see my DS again. It's such a foreign concept so grasp, someone you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with is gone forever... before you even get the chance to properly meet them... sorry that's a little deep for a Saturday morning!

Hope you both have a lovely weekend planned, god knows we deserve it!

@lunamoon1 I haven’t tracked last month and this month and have felt a bit better for it so see how you feel. It’s so easy to spend money on tests and then I used to get stressed in a morning if I peed before I’d texted 😂🙈