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Conception

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Original poster

TTC after baby loss / stillbirth

335 replies

ReeRi · 25/09/2019 15:07

I’m mid-thirties. My first child was stillborn at full term early this year. My second pregnancy, around 6 months later, ended in early miscarriage.

I’m now on CD21 and about 5DPO.

Anyone else?

I find some of the TTC boards hard to relate to as they’re either those who have never suffered a loss or those who have had early losses / RMC or general fertility issues. I am not trying to compare losses. Any loss is difficult but I know for me my miscarriage at 5 weeks did not even register compared to losing a baby at full term. It was disappointing but more so because I wanted to be pregnant and wasn’t any more.

OP posts:
Original poster
ReeRi · 25/09/2019 21:55

@MrsC89 It makes such a difference to be able to speak to people who understand some of what you’ve been through and not feel alone. For me, anyway.

@lunamoon1 My af came back after 26 days I think. We had the funeral exactly a month after we lost our baby and I already had AF by then. First one was heavy and lasted longer than usual - sorry TMI and you probably know that anyway - but at the time I wasn’t sure what it was as it seemed early for AF.

Good luck at your meeting. I’m sure they’ll be really welcoming and I hope it brings you some comfort. I found they were v informal and it’s fine to just go when you feel like it i.e. don’t feel like you have to go every month unless you’re want to.

OP posts:
lunamoon1 · 25/09/2019 17:29

@ReeRi thank you, and you💐 I can totally sympathise with wanting to try quickly again, it's something else to focus on too. How long did your AF take to return after your birth? I am tracking so keeping an eye on things just in case I OV before AF, but I feel it's unlikely. Thank you, we are actually going to our first meeting next week which I am nervous about but I'm sure it will bring nothing but positivity.

@MrsC89 isn't it just, and I know stress will just delay it more, as I have been told countless times, FX that ours both turn up soon!

MrsC89 · 25/09/2019 17:13

I completely get what you both mean about AF, I just want reassurance from my body that it's all working! I spoke to ARC a lot in the early days and they were amazing!

Original poster
ReeRi · 25/09/2019 17:04

I’m so sorry for the loss of your little boy @lunamoon1 It must be frustrating waiting for af to return. I understand there is still a chance of conceiving before AF shows but I’m sure it will give you some peace of mind when it arrives. I found it strangely comforting when I got my first AF just to know my body was still working!

I had planned to wait for PM results but the urge to have another baby was very present which is why we started trying after two months.

I’m sure you’re already aware of them but I have found going to Sands meetings really helpful. I made a friend at the first meeting, a month after we’d both lost our babies, and I now find going feels like I am amongst friends and get comfort from it.

OP posts:
lunamoon1 · 25/09/2019 16:53

Hi ladies, mind if I join? I saw the title of the thread and felt like I finally fitted in somewhere again. I'm so sorry to hear what you both have been through, it's a very trying time. We lost our little boy at 6 days old this year, fairly recently. We have been thinking about TTC again, although can't do much for the moment as I'm waiting on my cycle to start again, which is incredibly frustrating as I feel we don't even have the option at the moment. Feel like AF is never going to return! Sending you both longs of strength, I hope we can tackle this next chapter together!

MrsC89 · 25/09/2019 16:49

Before I fell pregnant I only had one cycle off the pill, so I never really got to know my true cycle length. I'm currently cd29 if counting day of surgery as day 1. I know it's still early days, but I just want AF to show so I can get back into tracking to try and understand my cycle!

Original poster
ReeRi · 25/09/2019 16:39

@MrsC89 I think these things take time to deal with anyway so if you feel ready enough then I’d say go for it. After my stillbirth I got my period in less than 28 days from giving birth and started TTC the second cycle, although loosely the first cycle we tried. I fell pregnant on our 4th cycle of trying. I then miscarried at about 4 and a half weeks and we didn’t try to the following month more by accident than by design as we were both stressed and arguing a bit tbh. So we missed on cycle and then tried again this month.

OP posts:
MrsC89 · 25/09/2019 16:20

We do plan to yes. Mentally I feel in a good headspace so I dont see why not, if that makes sense?
If it's not too personal @ReeRi did you start trying soon after your miscarriage?

Original poster
ReeRi · 25/09/2019 16:10

I’m so sorry @MrsC89

Do you think you’ll start trying again straight away?

OP posts:
MrsC89 · 25/09/2019 16:03

Hiya, not entirely similar situation, but I too feel there isn't really many people on here that get it.
I found out at my 12 week scan that I was carrying conjoined twins. They shared all major organs, so I made the hard decision to terminate the pregnancy.
It was all pretty recent, so still waiting for AF to arrive

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