TTC after baby loss / stillbirth

@ReeRi hope you managed to deal with that okay, the day mine came I felt awful but thankfully it passed quite quickly. I think I will re. the bear, like you said it would be lovely to have a representation of our son for family pictures ect. I think so, hopefully it's settling down soon. I've had some strange spotting mid-cycle so not really sure what's going on. It's frustrating not understanding your own body. If it's worrying you it's always worth a shot, but you managed to conceive even with that.

@riceandwhisky that's good to try and take the most relaxed approach as possible, wish I could do that! hope your hospital appointment goes as well as it can, hopefully have all your questions written down so you don't forget.

My husband and I started joint counselling 2 weeks ago and it was the best thing we could have done I think, she is such a lovely person & I feel she's going to be really helpful for us! Hope you are all doing well x

Hello all,
Thank you so much for your replies and apologies for taking a while to get back to them. The day of cremation came and I was very caught up in that.

I have seen a lot of things on the internet where there are recommendations to wait for at least 4-6 weeks before trying and there are also a couple of articles that said you don't have to so I guess it's just one of those things where no one really knows what happens in our bodies.

I have an appointment on the 15th at the hospital. I'm not exactly sure what type of check up it is, they spoke to me about this at the hospital when I was being discharged with so much in my head that I don't think I took away much at the time. I'm not sure whether it's to discuss the genetics side of things or my mental wellbeing. I'm hoping to ask them all those questions and get some answers though. It's only 5 days away so I'm going to hold off any pregnancy tests etc until then.

@lunamoon1 I'm not using ovulation strips, I don't really understand how they work and I feel like once I start getting super controlling over conceiving I won't enjoy it as much. I think I'll see what happens naturally and if no luck in the next few months then I will consider it xxx

No I don't do the tests usually my Cm is a giveaway x

Hi to all the newbies who have joined, so sorry you find yourselves here. It's a tricky one @riceandwhisky as to whether you'll be able to confirm pregnancy via a test, maybe wait until you think it's reasonable to test and if it's positive take another a few days after and see if the line gets darker? (I know it's not very reliable or scientific but it's all I can think of) I know if I had asked my GP to do a blood test for pregnancy so soon after losing my son he would have basically laughed in my face (mainly because he's an arse) but because he told me it's impossible to get pregnant 6 weeks or less after giving birth, ridiculous I know. I'm not sure if it changes with earlier term pregnancies or not, I really hope you can have some light shed soon. Do you do OPK's or temp to confirm you OV'd?

@Kaylab2489 wishing you all the best!

@ReeRi funny you should mention those bears, I was looking into weighted birth bears last week and am quite into the idea of getting one. When will yours be ready? Did AF arrive for you?

My AF arrived by surprising me on CD26, not sure what happened as I seemed to OV late according to OPK, I think it's my hormones settling back down, it takes what feels like forever. Hoping for some better luck this cycle! & to all you ladies too x

Hi ladies Hope you don't mind me joining in.. Il give you a little background.. Had major surgery done Feb this year had one large fibroid removed.. Fell pregnant July but sadly miscarried my little bean 21st August I was 8 weeks but measuring 5.5 weeks.. Periods went back to normal (28) day cycles however last month was only 24. Iv downloaded ovia app but not sure what too put in on average cycle length to work out my ovulation dates. I have put 24 for this month which would make my due on daye be today but so far so good AF hasn't showed. But could possibly be due in 4 days if I did a 29 day cycle
Sorry if all confusing I'm just so hopefully to fall again.. It was my 1st pregnancy and I'm 30 just want a sticky little bean x

Baby dust too all xx

@riceandwhisky were you given any advice on waiting at all?
When I had my TFMR I was told that I needed to wait one cycle before having unprotected sex.
My AF arrived 5 weeks after the termination, so I would think it would he possible to ovulate quite soon after.

Hi everyone,

I hope it's okay to join?

I had a medical termination as my baby girl was diagnosed with Edwards Syndrome. I delivered her 2 weeks ago but they suspect that the baby was sleeping for a few days already.

We are looking to try again, not to replace a loss but we are really looking to start a family.

About a week after the procedure we started sleeping together again as I felt comfortable, even though I was still bleeding a tiny bit after the loss. We haven't been using contraception as we do want to try again but obviously there is a worry that my body might not be ready.

For the past couple of days I've had those sharp tingly feelings just under my hips in my abdomen and rusty discharge along with thrush. All symptoms that I had with my pervious implantation. I can't test right now as I'm probably still having hormones from the previous pregnancy so any positives will most likely be false.

So I'm a bit stuck right now... I'm still taking folic acid, I haven't stopped. I'm just keen to get some clear answers to take care of myself. At the same time I'm dreading the disappointment if all of these are just symptoms post termination and I'm just being extra sensitive.

Do you think I should request a blood test to confirm? Is it even possible after a termination 2 and a half weeks ago to have ovulated?

Agreed, seeing pictures of so many little ones dressed up for Halloween really got to me, which is weird because Halloween's not really something I've ever been in to, but me & DH always joked about dressing baby up in cute little costumes. So unfair.

Thank you @ReeRi trying so hard not to get my hopes up which is proving tricky. Feel like a woman possessed some days!

Anyone else really struggling today? I can't stop thinking about how wonderfully silly my DD would have looked dressed up as a pumpkin. She never got to see a Halloween. It is all so fucking unfair.

Hi @ReeRi

I read your first posts and I agree. I’m sorry for your loss, I can relate to you but haven’t been in your situation to completely understand.

I have had a few early miscarriages and 1 neonatal death. My baby passed away at 1 day old.

My subsequent pregnancy was so stressful, I was overwhelmed with anxiety and depression and was feeling all the time I will lose another baby, couldn’t bear the thought of another funeral and the grief.

I gave myself time and been gentle with myself.

Found that lots of people couldn’t understand me and judge me sometimes for the way I was feeling.

Now pregnant again, I am better but feel some anxiety still. I find even more that people expect me to be ok all the time as I have 2 living children and they’ve forgotten about my 2nd born who’s not with us.

Hope all good with you!

Hi ladies, how is everyone getting on? Been quite quiet here with me, I think I'm in the middle of my 2WW, tried temping but I have quite a bad cold so think that is throwing my temps off, although I can see a shift which is good. No good at holding off testing, but fully excepting to be disappointed at the same time. I hope life is being kind to you ladies, we deserve it so much.

@ReeRi how has work been for you?

@ReeRi you've been through a really hard time this year & sometimes it's easy to go too hard on yourself. I really hope so, I have my fingers crossed for you soo much! are you tempted by early testing or will you hold out until AF is late? Honestly, it's so true once you want something you start seeing it EVERYWHERE, but it does teach you how other people's lives really shouldn't have an impact on ours but how easy it is to get drawn in, esp through social media, I can't tell you how many friends I have 'muted' who are either pregnant or have young kids, I just can't do it at the moment.

Thank you for your advice, I kept testing and finally got my static smiley last night! That's true about having a good lot of fertile days before peak, I never thought of it like that🤞🏼

@ReeRi not good about work I mean, I hope you are looking after yourself even with the heavy workload, self care is so important!

@Pandora71 grief is such a wave of emotions, just when you think you're on top of it, it comes crashing down again. I hope you managed to enjoy yourself as much as you can.

@ReeRi doing okay thank you, how are you? It's so hard isn't it, I feel like I see a pregnancy announcement/picture of a new baby every week. That's good about work but also hope you are taking enough time to yourself. Fingers crossed for you! How many months have you been TTC since you lost your little girl?

I'm on day 5 of flashing smiley today, I was sure it was going to be a solid smiley today.. sadly not! Not sure what's going on with my body but I'll keep testing and just hope for the best!

How are you all doing?

I’ve been away quite a bit with DH and DS. It’s been good but also hard. DS talking a lot about our lost DD. We all miss her so much.

Meanwhile I’m on CD38. Did a test. Nothing. Who knows what my cycle is doing...