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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Bfp?

55 replies

GeePipe · 25/09/2019 11:51

Hi. I have just taken this. It says its a midstream test for mid wee but i dipped it in a cup instead. Its a cheap £1 test and i dont know if this is a false line or evap or what? This came up after 30ish seconds. Should i take another one? Is there a chance this is invalid? Thanks for any help x

Bfp?
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Original poster
GeePipe · 27/09/2019 19:33

Thanks everyone. We had a big chat last night but he was drunk and we had an argument even this morning arguing. He is now home from work and gave me a big cuddle. We havent mentioned it apart from a joke he said earlier i wont mention and we watched some tv. Now hes playing xbox and im in bed watching tv. We are going for a day out sunday as well so hopefully he will come round soon. Im so glad you all came on here.

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Crimsonpetalandthewhite · 27/09/2019 17:13

I'm sorry things are still rough OP. But as it's been mentioned if his other child was such a mistake, why is contraception all down to you? He should of been preventing a potential pregnancy every step of the way too, mistakes happen, and he can't spend the rest of his life resenting you for that. Mistakes happen. He needs to either move on and accept that mistakes happen, and your new reality or you should think about doing it on your own.

Don't let him make you feel like you've got no choice but his own. You can do this.

Each2TheirOwn · 27/09/2019 10:28

Give it a few days OP. As your pregnancy wasn't planned he will be in shock and struggling with his thoughts/emotions right now (although he is being selfish and unsupportive in his response which is uncalled for).

Hopefully you can have a good chat over the weekend and he will come to see that, although the timing isn't ideal, it's not the end of the world.

If he continues to be negative and unsupportive then you have a big decision to make. He may not want you to leave but he also can't expect you to stay in such a negative environment. You want this baby so you should be able to feel secure, excited and happy, not upset and anxious and if that means moving back to your mums then that may be the best thing to do, for you and your baby x

Original poster
GeePipe · 27/09/2019 10:13

Im not blaming him for being shocked mad scared worried etc. I understand all his reasonings. He feels im not listening to his opinion but he just doesnt understand i listened and understood and still want to keep it. I just want him to stop being mad and acting like i have ruined his life. Last night he told me i could kiss my dreams goodbye until my 50s which i think is nonsense. Im under no pretence its going to be easy. Im just optomistic we can still save money. Me get a new job after the babys born and we can still buy a house and travel the world. He feels we are trapped forever now.

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whatthehek · 27/09/2019 10:01

Maybe he should have used extra protection himself if he was that against pregnancy. 🤔

Original poster
GeePipe · 27/09/2019 09:31

My mom lives an hour away and i just dont feel well enough to travel there right now. Plus if i go dp has a complex that i am leaving him which wont solve anything. I know he is now very stressed that we are trapped and have no money or house and his other child wont get the same treatment this one will if i stay. I know why he is upset. But he is taking it harder than it needs to be. I work part time on a zero hour contract so maybe he thinks i wont get maternity pay from work which i assume i am entitled to after 3.5 years there. My family will help buy stuff for the baby as i plan on 2nd hand everything and i will cross the bridge of going back to work and finding a new job and childcare when it comes to it.

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Michellebops · 27/09/2019 09:19

Why don't you go and stay with your mum or a couple of days, give you both some head space.

Original poster
GeePipe · 27/09/2019 08:12

Thanks all. I really hope he starts to change his mind and become more positive pretty soon. I hate this whole being mad at me stuff. I text him like he asked and said i didnt know what to say as he is mad at me. He said he isnt mad (clearly is) so i said sure? And hes not responded. He could just be busy at work but i dont know. Not sure what to do with myself. The only positive is i told my dm yesterday and she said me and baby can move in with her if i need to. Ive been awake all night and am off work sick again today because my stomach was hurting so bad all through the night and i felt sick. Not sure if thats a bad thing.

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joystir59 · 27/09/2019 08:02

Don't give up your child. He sounds like a sulky selfish child of a man trying to emotionally blackmail.you into doing what he wants.

JustLikeJasper · 27/09/2019 07:53

@GeePipe it's not about what he wants any more, it's about the baby and what you want. I know it's easy for me to say but you need to make it clear to him if he wants to continue the relationship then he needs to grow up and loose the negative attitude. No point him sticking around if hes going to stress you out and be negative about this x

Original poster
GeePipe · 27/09/2019 07:43

Thank you. Im just stressed out because of how stressed out he is making me. I told him to have a good day when he left for work and he accused me of being sarcastic. I have told him if he wants to end the relationship and i move out i will go asap but he said no, even though he has said this will ruin our relationship so i have absolutely no idea what he wants right now.

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JustLikeJasper · 27/09/2019 07:31

@GeePipe sorry he is acting this way, to be honest if he sees his last child as a 'mistake' perhaps A) he should have also used contraception and B) you would be better off bringing up the baby alone than with a negative unhelpful bloke who thinks of their child as a mistake!
Hope you're ok x

Original poster
GeePipe · 27/09/2019 07:14

As an update i told him i want to keep it. He is really not happy. Says he feels trapped by me and this has ruined his life. His other child was a mistake as well so he is extra sensitive to this. He is quiet and moody and said he will support me but he resents me and this has ruined our relationship. I really dont know if this will be the end for us. He is saying we cant afford it and we are now going to suffer financially for the next 18 years trapped.

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Original poster
GeePipe · 25/09/2019 22:19

Thats really reassuring thanks. In my head i feel anything is possible travel uni owning a home even with a child. He sees it the opposite right now.

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beibikeiks · 25/09/2019 22:06

I'm very sorry you're in this position 😔

I had an unplanned pregnancy at 21 and we were hardly dating and it was the first time we had sex 🙈

Now 9 years later, we are married, we have both finished a bachelor's and master's degrees, we have moved between countries, gone twice to Japan (all the way from Europe) for holidays and so so much more - all this with a child 😊

Having a child doesn't just stop your life as is... far from it. You just have to make what you want of it!

Wish you all the best!

Crimsonpetalandthewhite · 25/09/2019 21:41

Why ruined? That seems very harsh. Hopefully he'll come around. But if not I'm sure you can do it alone. The emotional side of there will be resentment isn't fair, especially since he's basically insinuating that unless you have a termination things can't progress.

Original poster
GeePipe · 25/09/2019 21:33

He isnt happy. Doesnt understand how pill failed. Said there will be resentment no matter what choice is made and our relationship will be ruined. So i havent reallly spoken at all. He cooked dinner and i am laying down. I hope he comes around to the idea otherwise i will have to go it alone.

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Crimsonpetalandthewhite · 25/09/2019 21:25

*shouldn't

Crimsonpetalandthewhite · 25/09/2019 21:25

@GeePipe I'm so sorry. What happened? Please don't feel pressured into doing anything. It's your body, and if you want the baby then you should feel pushed into anything.

Original poster
GeePipe · 25/09/2019 21:02

Thank you everyone. Its not gone down well. I will make a drs appointment on monday and see my choices.

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Michellebops · 25/09/2019 19:14

Good luck op with whatever you decide.

Remember the pill alone is not 💯 effective and if he didn't want kids just now he should have used a condom too. Contraception is not only your responsibility.

In saying that please don't allow him to force you into a decision you don't want.

It's your body, your choice ❤️

Loti92 · 25/09/2019 18:17

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
GeePipe · 25/09/2019 17:34

Thank you so much crimson. I will check back again when i have spoken to him.

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Crimsonpetalandthewhite · 25/09/2019 17:04

He sounds a bit of an arse. Accidents happen. I hope it goes better than you expect. Check back in and let us know. Thinking of you.

Original poster
GeePipe · 25/09/2019 16:57

Thank you. I know his view on it and i know he will be so stressed and annoyed at me for wanting to keep it. He would never force me to do anything i dont want to but i just hate the thought that there will be conflict. He already blames me for forgetting my pill twice and taking it late. I genuinely didnt know it had to be the same time every day.

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