A whole load of “up yours” to ttc

Up yours for everyone around you getting pregnant (especially those for who it's a 'happy accident')

Up yours to being stressed so needing a holiday, but no able to book one in case your heavily preggo next summer

Up yours to wanting to plan a trip to visit your poorly grandmother abroad, but being unable to arrange in case you actually finally do get preggo!

Up yours to having your baby names picked out with no baby to give them to

Up yours to the signs my period is about to start making me so emotional I almost cried in the middle of a shopping centre today because I kept seeing babies and pregnant bellies everywhere, not to mention how angry I feel this month about how unfair it all is!

I love this threat. Half in tears thinking about how everyone feels, half laughing because I've experienced a few of the up yours people have commented!

Up yours to the friend that told me 'maybe it was the wrong gender' as a reason for me miscarrying.

Up yours to the midwives that told me there was no sign of pregnancy twice, even though I know it's their job and it's not their fault at all.

Up yours to no explanation of why I miscarried twice at 7 weeks.

Up yours to now being scared to try again because I never want to feel how I felt the first two times.

Up yours to my first pregnancy being due on my birthday.

Up yours to the friends that are now pregnant but won't tell you because they know what you've been through and don't want to hurt you. When actually it would be easier to hear it from them than someone you barely know.

Oh my god, how have I only just seen this!
So much love for you ladies.

Up yours for being in hospital having a cyst removed the same week I was meant to be giving birth.

Up yours to the consultant who after 2 years and despite my DH having major issues with his SA results refuses to acknowledge there's a problem and says we will get pregnant because I had a miscarriage 10 months ago.

Up yours to friends who complain about the newborn stage the day of my due date.

Up yours to my stupid hopeful brain making me hoard cute baby grows and hide them around the house.

Up yours to that nagging feeling it is never going to happen, and what then?

I’m sure this month will bring me more up yours to TTC.

Up yours to supposedly being in the fertile window but so not being in the mood to DTD.

I’ve a few to add for sure. Great thread, very stress relieving. Baby dust to everyone here no matter where you are in your journey.

Up yours to the education system which leads you to believe you will fall pregnant if you so much as look at a penis.

Up yours to AF turning up whenever she pleases it seems.

Up yours to walking past baby clothes in the shops and knowing you can’t buy any yet and soon those cute things you’ve looked at will be out of the shop soon enough but then the thing starts all over again with the new seasons clothes.

Up yours to stalling your career in the hopes it wont matter as you’ll be pregnant soon surely.

Up yours to the multiple boxes of pregnancy tests in my cupboard that I’ve never even had a moments whiff of a need for so far.

@Chefwifelife I'll throw in another to bring this back to life.

Up yours to feeling so conflicted - found a private consultant who is actually listening to me which is BRILLIANT but now spending my time worrying about tests and what they might say. Oh crap - maybe I actually went through menopause early and didn't realise because I was on the coil (is that possible??)

Up yours to worrying that DH will regret marrying me because he chose the only person he knows who can't get pregnant.

One more -

Up yours to finally trying to talk about it and having DH say 'oh well, better to not dwell on it.......' and then change the subject.

Can I please add another one to do with DH, up yours to being really horny throughout my non-fertile days and then having completely no desire on my fertile days because ‘we shouldn’t do it on a clock, we should just do it when we feel like it’ but that’s ALWAYS the non fertile days! And he says it’s because I ‘put pressure on’...I’m trying so hard to ‘be casual’ but I’m not feeling particularly casual after getting my period for the 15th month in a row

Up yours to all of the DPs/DHs on this thread who just don’t seem to get why TTC is so horrendous for us.

Up yours to DH ‘sorting himself out’ the morning of my OPK+ The cycle after my EMC. It was the first time I had even vaguely felt positive enough to DTD and he dashed any hope of that. I felt so unsexy and broken that day and DH just didn’t seem to get it.

I’m joining...

Up yours to ttc for 18 months
Up yours to blaming my age (37) and my declining egg quality (because all tests for me dh have come back as normal and done) yet 2 close friends my age and older have announced they’re pg without even having been trying.
Up yours to having to drink proceive max which now turns my stomach.
Up yours to remembering to bbt every day.
Up yours to having to be the only one who remembers for us both to take ubiquinol daily.
Up yours to not being able to book a (delayed) honeymoon in May next year in case I can’t fly and everybody asking why.
Up yours to everybody asking if we want a baby or are we going to try.
Up yours to the guilt of having 2dds with exh who keep asking for a sibling.
Up yours to everybody who tells me (rightly) what an amazing stepdad dh is and how he was made to have children.
Up yours to the guilt dd1 made me feel by saying the one thing she would change about me would be for mummy to want another baby.
Up yours to still getting my hopes up every month and the disappointment that follows.
Up yours to the some months I want to cry when af arrives but having to suck it up because dh has said he doesn’t want us to ttc if it makes me upset and causes any negativity and pressure between us (because our relationship is too important to him to have anything come between us).
Up yours to getting a positive opk first thing this am and oh being too hungover to dtd then and not in the mood this afternoon.
Up yours to me having a paddy and cry in frustration because of the previous up yours and dh saying we should then stop because he doesn’t want ttc to be like that and we should draw a line under it then.

Up yours to my other half being away on exercise during most of the fertile week and it being extended so he won't be here for Ov 🤬

@waitingforarainbow You are a saint for not telling her 'up yours' to her face! I don't know why people don't realise that's the kind of thing you wait to be asked.

Up yours to feeling guilty for drinking coffee/wine etc, and wondering whether that one glass was the reason for the bfn.

Up yours to not being able to book proper holidays. Think it's been said but needs repeating!

Up yours to my irregular ovulation dates, just pick a day ffs!

Amazing how a thread of negativity can be so positive! Knowing you're not alone is so beneficial. Thanks to everyone that's shared here. Another one from me -

Up yours to sharing what I'm going through meaning my lovely friend couldn't share the wonderful news that's she's going to be a granny without worrying about how I'd feel ☹️

❤️

Up yours to my husband’s SSRIs which I’m sure have impacted fertility and the doctor who never even flagged there are concerns

Up yours to medical management of a miscarriage and being bent double in the shower with contractions whilst having to answer work emails (conceived the moment OHs SSRIs were out of his system I might add)

Up yours to Facebook and Instagram and other peoples incessant social media pregnancy announcements. Cue floods of tears

Up yours to awful, depressing scheduled sex

Up yours to not booking holidays

Up yours to not looking for new jobs

Up yours to the taxi driver who told me I ‘better get a move on’ now my son is almost 3

Up yours to me, 3 and a half years ago, telling everyone what a breeze it was getting pregnant first time round and how I wish we’d left it till later as I soooo wasn’t prepared (age 33)

@Banoffeepie91 that was like reading my own thread I am with you on every one of those up yours.

Lots of love to you all 💜💜

Thank you @Chefwifelife - I truly think she meant well but it did upset me.

@Banoffeepie91 I know exactly how you feel - my DH has the same issue and it's so, so hard to deal with. Getting angry/upset with him just makes the problem worse, but it's so hard not to as it's so frustrating. I've seen a few other people with the same issue on this thread and it's made me feel so much better.

Up yours to OH getting ‘stage fright’ right when I’m at peak fertility and not being able to DTD (well finish it). I realise it’s stressful for him the pressure to perform and all that as we both want kids so much but I’d really tried to be relaxed this month not using OPKs and not telling him when I’m at my peak but he seems to be able to work it out anyway. I’ve just got to be super nice to him about it and pretend I don’t mind as otherwise he’ll get more stressed but really I just want to cry.

Also up yours to really awful nausea during ovulation. Every time I’m hoping it’s actually morning sickness and my last period wasn’t really a proper one but really I know I’m being completely stupid and there’s no way it’s that.

Just want to give everyone on this thread a massive hug! Really good to have the space to let it all out even though some of these posts from others break my heart.

Just wanted to say on World Mental Health Day, I think this thread is a really great way of offloading and feeling less alone. So thank you OP and everyone else who has shared their stories.

Up yours to DH paying £400 for two private consultations with 'specialists' this week, and neither of them having a clue how to resolve his infertility problems.

Up yours to a well-meaning friend half-jokingly offering to be a surrogate. Yes, I've had 3MCs but the implication was that she's great at having babies (2 uncomplicated pregnancies) and that I'm not. 👍🏻 We're nowhere near the stage of needing a surrogate (plus it's not something I'd ever do) so it was insensitive at best, insulting at worst.

Up yours to the realisation that I would have been 12 weeks today if I hadn't lost the last baby.

Up yours to the many pregnancies of friends/friends of friends that I keep learning of every day. Two today!

Up yours to endometriosis. I found out today that my friend is unlikely to be able to conceive due to that bitch of a condition!

Up yours to spending £75 on OvuSense last month and £66 on ‘better’ supplements for me a DH earlier on in the week
Up yours on spending probably in the region of £200 pissing on things since January
TTC is expensive 😂