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Original poster

How to deal with anger and bitterness after MC

30 replies

nicola18737 · 10/09/2019 20:25

I have DS (17 months) and I MC last week after 2 weeks of bleeding. We had been ttc for almost a year.

I am really struggling to move on. I am fine and functioning day to day, but I am keeping myself busy in order to stop myself from feeling. When I do stop, I feel sad, empty and lost.

I am also so angry and bitter at a friend who got pregnant the week after me after just 2 months of trying and now everything seems to be going swimmingly for her. I had a leave a social media group we were both in because her posting about her pregnancy was really hurting me. I feel horrible, but I am so bitter that everything has worked out fine for her, but I lost my baby. So I have now lost the support of that group(due to leaving it) because of my bitterness/sadness. I feel bitter and angry that she didn't message me to see if I was OK after I said I had to leave because it was too painful. I just want to move on and focus on me and my son. I feel guilty too that I am so consumed in my thoughts, I am not watching him grow an interacting with him as much as I should.

I just feel so lost, so bereft. I wonder if I need counselling to get over this sadness and bitterness. Has anyone else felt this way and can offer any words of support or advice?

OP posts:
sadlycindy · 10/09/2019 21:24

@MrsA2015 ah well at least it is not just me! I'm just so angry. It's so shit isn't it?

MrsA2015 · 10/09/2019 21:02

Please please don’t feel ashamed ! Pain is relative and a loss is a loss. Please be easy on yourself, you have a right to feel pain regardless of how others have felt theirs

sadlycindy · 10/09/2019 20:46

@itseasybeingcheesy thanks for your reply (ps I changed my username so its OP). I was only 7 weeks and reading some people's stories on here, I feel like I shouldn't be so affected, I feel ashamed that I am complaining about this when other people have gone through so much worse.

How far along were you if you don't mind me asking? Did you access counselling through the NHS? I feel like such a bad person being so bitter.

MrsA2015 · 10/09/2019 20:46

Wish I could help. I could’ve written your post OP. Last weekend I had an early MC, ttc for almost a year. yesterday and today have been having anxiety attacks and angry at the world. Called up 111 to ask for help about chest pains and not being able to breathe it and got told I’m only 27 so it’s probably pulled muscle and to take ibuprofen. Absolutely lost as for how to feel or what to do. I had to log off Instagram as for some reason everyone either announced births or pregnancies this week and I can’t handle it either. I suppose it’s a case of slow and steady healing process and definitely seek professional help if you feel you need it, there’s no shame in it at all, perhaps an outsiders perspective may help you navigate your feelings better? I’m shit for taking and giving advice but hope you find peace in knowing there are people out there who can sympathise and help you through this. Flowers

itseasybeingcheesy · 10/09/2019 20:39

It's ok to feel this way, you are grieving. Take all the time you need to grieve. It took me months to feel emotionally stable after my most recent MC and I took it very hard. I had some counselling to help me process my thoughts and feelings and spent time with pastoral support from my church.

Do you have any support to reach out to? I also found choosing a name and a small token to represent the life of the child to be a huge comfort to me.

You will be ok one day but let it take as much time as it needs ❤️