TTC with Vaginismus

Hi @bluemoon2468 - bit late to the game but hoping maybe you'll still see this message! Can I ask what your symptoms were? And why you thought you might have been misdiagnosed?

I've been suffering with vaginismus for almost a decade - I do feel horrible pain at initial insertion and am definitely spasming, but once I go past the initial ~5mm of insertion, the rest goes pain free. I always did wonder if there's a chance it might have more to do with my vulva than with my muscles - I also know the two (vaginismus and vulvodynia) can be interlinked and exist alongside each other.

What medicine were you prescribed, if you don't mind me asking?

Hi everyone 😊 I have just seen this thread and I wanted to add my story incase it helps anyone. I was incorrectly diagnosed with vaginismus at the age of 18, and was seen by a number of GPs and consultants who all agreed with the diagnosis. It never felt right to me at all, and I was insistent that it was a physical not a mental problem. Every time I was told that it can feel like a physical problem, but really the cause is psychological. Turns out the diagnosis was incorrect, and a decade down the line I was correctly diagnosed with vulvodynia. I now take medication daily and have no pain at all - for the first time in my life I am now able to have a 'normal' sex life with my DH and use tampons. The most recent gynaecologist I've spoken to said that this misdiagnosis is very, very common. I'm not suggesting that any of you have been misdiagnosed! I just wanted to share my story in case this helps anyone on this thread. I wish so much that I'd pushed harder to get my correct diagnosis earlier (or that all of the doctors I saw had been a bit more knowledgeable in this area!)

And to you SkyeBlue20 😘

I just wanted to say thank you so much for this thread. I’m lucky in that my condition doesn’t sound as severe as some but it’s still such a relief to know you’re not alone. Sending love and positive thoughts to everyone xx

This thread is really useful! I suffered from this the past few years - I've always been quite tight (could never put a tampon in for a long time... first time I had sex it took many attempts, etc). But after surgery to fix a tear I had down there, it became x100 worse. Tbh I'm not sure if it because of the trauma of the painful sex I was having because of the tear, or if the surgery itself was traumatising.
But I couldn't have sex at all after... what helped me the most was going to a physio who specialised in this. She was able to reassure and relax me enough to start stretching my muscles slowly, to the point where I could start to use the dilators myself, and then work my way up. Now when we have sex, I still feel anxiety, and tense up, but after some seconds, my husband can go in and it eases.

I'm not pregnant yet, but ttc at the moment, and one of my worries is the birth. It's reassuring to hear many stories of people here who went on to have fine births. My old gyno also told me that after birth it can help to 'loosen' things up, so it may help sex after. I'm just terrified of tearing!

Hi all
First ever Mumsnet post.
Just wanted to share my experience and ask for any advice.
I was horrendously sexually abused as a child, had an extreme phobia of sex growing up (fainted in a class on contraception once at school - that kinda level) and have been struggling with vaginismus my whole adult life. I had vaginal Botox privately at a London clinic which was a COMPLETE game changer and I very much recommend. the pain has mostly gone but psychologically I’m still finding full sex really hard despite 20 years of therapy. I’m getting better but really slowly. I’m 40 and been married for 10 years and have spent the last 7 years with that gut wrenching desire for a child. We’ve just decided to go to a fertility clinic privately and have an IUI. We tried to get treatment on the nhs a couple of years ago but they refused as it wasn’t a physical problem which I was devastated by at the time.
Any advice or just general support most appreciated!

Of course - after years of therapy and finally giving up, we tried this and it took one cycle. I was blown away! Obviously it can take much longer, just like it could with normal ttc, but I couldn't believe it, I never believed it would really work.
This is the thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/infertility/3680745-Home-insemination-looking-for-buddies?msgid=90645603#90645603

And I'd buy smaller syringes than are standard - 1ml was loads better and easier.

@Whatnext11 thank you so much! That has given me hope :) can I ask how many cycles it took you to get a BFP?

Vivian89 yes I did and it worked! There is a thread called home insemination which you will find encouraging

Although l could use tampons and have internals before the proceedure

I had this at 20. This was a long time ago. I was admitted to hospital and my vaginal entrance was stretched under general anaesthetic. This totally resolved the problems.

Sometimes it’s just about the muscles being really strong, as it was in my case

Hi Everyone,

Thank you for sharing your journey. I am so glad a found this thread. It has made me feel really hopeful.

I am also suffering from vaginismus and now am 30 years old and about to try to conceive with my DH.

Just wondering has anyone tried insemination kits (syringe and pot). We recently bought a few kits from Mosie.

Vivian

And something great to remember that I was reminded of by a consultant midwife, it's our body and no one can examine us or do anything without our consent whatever stage labour we are in. We have the right to say no/stop.

Yes I had one examination early on but it was with a consultant, we talked it all through before with the ageement that she only used one finger and I had gas & air for it. For the later examinations I had already had epidural so was all good. If they do the epidural really early shouldn't be a problem with examinations. I had mine from 1cm. For us ladies birth plans are really important and my consultant prepared a letter for me too and told us to make sure we tell every midwife to read it first.

Hi all! Just had my consultant appt today at 36 weeks - this is the first time my Vaginismus has been discussed as my midwife just says ‘I don’t know anything about it’ even after I explained. She said that I can plan my birth as normal as long as I am realistic, so all planning for a normal birth but with an early epidural. She did say that I’d probably have to have at least one check or at least try before the epidural - and even though I’m skeptics my body will let this happen, I’m happy to try if it means I can have a natural birth. She did say C-Section might be inevitable if my body just won’t relax enough to be checked or if I end up up past my due date or induced it might up the possibility of a section. But for now all good news and in a way I’m grateful that it was left till late purely because I haven’t been stressing about it! So don’t worry ladies! Hoping everyone’s TTC and pregnancy journeys are all going well! Xx

I'm so pleased to come across this thread, I've always felt lonely and struggled with my vaginismus and never found a thread like this. Congratulations @graceelizabeth123! I was married for 4 years before we conceived our little one who is now one! And a mc along the way too but I did fall first time with both pg using a kind of splash method recommend by a consultant gynae so that's the positive. I wish I'd known it earlier but just so thankful! Took a long time to get seen by the right professionals but still struggling with vaginismus and struggling to conceive #2 using the same method 😞 I was consultant referred due to vaginismus, consultant was fantastic! Encouraged vag birth from the off and put a great plan in place which included epidural right from the start of labour which made examinations possible but also had minimum amount of examinations and experienced midwives.

I have absolutely zero advice to add but having read the thread I just wanted to say congratulations!!! What a wonderful wonderful update, I’m so pleased for you :)

Congratulations!
@Graceelizabeth123 I wouldn't worry too much about the birth. They were going to discuss a c section for me with my ds but he arrived early and it didn't make any difference having vaginismus and it actually seems to have helped stretch things out or relax me or something as it isn't as painful these days (with lube and relaxation still)

@graceelizabeth123, wow! Congratulations! That is amazing! I have very similar news - I am just over 5 weeks PG! It sounds like we may be on similar timescales. Keep in touch?
ATM I am focussed on trying to get to 12 weeks, it's a scary time at the moment. Can't think about the birth at present but I imagine it wouldn't complicate it too much. Maybe we need a thread about that at some point (maybe there is one, but I'm not going into any birth forums yet! Scared about MC for now. And I figure they will get the baby out somehow, however it goes! It's been a rough ride to this point, hopefully we have done the hardest part.

Congratulations OP!

I had a situation similar to some people described above. I had vaginismus (mild I think) after bad experiences with tampons and painful intercourse.

My DH and I went to psychosexual therapy and the trainers helped a lot.

I'm better now. :) We have a 10 month old baby and I had an amazing homebirth. (Hypnobirthing - Positive Birth company)

All the best to you and your family. Xxx

Congratulations! Don’t worry about the birth, take it as it comes and do some research before making your decision. What works for some might not for you. I’m 5 weeks away now and don’t see my consultant for 2 more weeks to decide! X

I highly recommend the book “heal pelvic pain” by Amy Stein - if you haven’t already got it.

It is so good to hear from others, I have had good experiences recently when getting help - for anyone who hasn't had any proper help, you need a referral to a psychosexual therapist. Although it didn't do the trick, it does for lots of couples and it helped me use the dilators which is helpful with the home insemination stuff. Someone recommended the 1mm no needle syringes which are so much easier than the 10ml, really grateful for that advice.
Today I didn't feel the doctor was very sympathetic, and she has referred me to a pre conception clinic rather than fertility. Who knows. Hopefully they will be good.