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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Advice needed ASAP pplleeaasseee

30 replies

Alyw89 · 05/08/2019 20:29

So my husband and I have been ttc for nearly 3 years. We have decided after a series of poor sperm analysis to use a sperm donor (secondary infertility so no NHS help). Our donor is available for us tomorrow night (cycle day 11) and Wednesday morning (cycle day 12). He is happy to donate both times for us to inseminate and we are travelling 2 hours to stay in an airbnb to be close to him. But now I'm panicking about timings and how it's all my responsibility to get it right.
I have a regular 26 day cycle and last month got my solid smiley on day 12. I've had consistent ov symptoms around day 12 for months. So I'm not sure why I'm panicking this month so much. But I feel like I'm going to mess up the timing. Also our donor is going to do his business in a sterile pot and we are going to inseminate with a needleless syringe. But does anyone have any tips? Should we use conceive plus or preseed. Or not?
Please help a nervous woman out here. And please no hate we have spent 3 years desperate for a baby together and have finally come to the realisation that DNA counts for nothing, it's the love we have for a child which matters.
Thabks for reading.
I had a flashing smiley this morning. Tell me what you think with my timing. Do you think my timing is right for tomorrow night and Wednesday morning? Would you stay an extra night an dget a donation in for Wednesday night/Thursday morning too? 🙈

OP posts:
Broodyaf · 06/08/2019 09:57

Morning @Alyw89!

It's great that you have been able to find a donor reasonably easily - without having to go through a clinic and pay through the nose.
I'm sure you've thought long and hard about it - but I wouldn't give up on the far away donor too handy. As u said, he won't be around the child in the future which will remove that last wee 1% of parenting doubt if that makes sense?
Also - the fella that lives close - as much as he's a fab friend, I've had great friends for 10+ years who I think will always be in my life, something happens and they're gone... I'm not saying this will happen to you, but when it comes to something as serious as a biological parent - u do not want ANY future repercussions (am I makin any sense?! 🙈)

I'm on the waiting list for the fertility clinic and should have my appt in Oct. I live in N.Ireland & there's a 6month NHS waiting list over here

I had my 21day bloods which showed low progesterone - I'm repeating this test tomoro to double-check
If it comes back low again, then either I'm not ovulating, or the lining in my uterus is too thin for anything to stick - either way I will need medical intervention
DF has his SA - and all was good there

Original poster
Alyw89 · 05/08/2019 22:21

Yes after 3 years and knowing sperm is our only issue, we have just had enough of keeping up the monthly positivity. I swear we have tried everything. And finally my husband suggested we try a new avenue to see what happens. We have 2 children from my previaou marriage that my husband has raised and is a great step dad to, dna doesn't make a difference to his love.
Thank you for calming me down. We are keeping this confidential so I have no one else to talk to. The donor is willing to keep going until we need it, but driving 2 hours away and paying for air bnb every 26 days seems hard work. Especially with the kids in tow. My husband is taking them for a walk whilst we do the business. So we are going to try this week and see how we feel. We have another friend near by we can ask and we know he would be more than willing to help. But we wanted to try further away first. It makes the contact thing easier knowing the guy won't be around us bringing up his biological child.
He has good sperm as he has had 2 successful pregnancies with his partner first month of trying each time. So fingers crossed!
Have you been for testing yet? Xx

OP posts:
Broodyaf · 05/08/2019 21:22

Ur not delusional at all! Yes - judge ur 2nd night on when u get ur positive OPK

I really do hope it works out for u 1st cycle - if not, is the donor willing to keep donating?

I know it must be awkward knowing what he's doing next door - but after 3 years of TTC u would do anything for those 2 lines!

We have been trying for 21months
so I feel ur pain

Original poster
Alyw89 · 05/08/2019 21:04

Thank you for your kind words!! It all makes sense and is a help to me when I'm feeling so nervous!! It's the formalities of it all I'm terrified of too! 😂 Knowing the man is doing his business in the bathroom next to me.... Awkward!!
I think if I don't get my solid smiley tomorrow we will stay the second night like you say 👍
I'm hoping we are successful but then could be unlikely on the first month! It's just, we've been trying for 3 years with bad sperm and I somehow am imagining good sperm might do the job quickly!! Delusional I know 🙈 xx

OP posts:
Broodyaf · 05/08/2019 20:51

Hi @Alyw89

I haven't been in your situation before so I'm not sure if my advice is much use!
But I'm just thinking of the normal pregnancy 'protocol'

Whenever you get your 1st positive OPK that means that ur ABOUT to ovulate, but ovulation can take up to 36 hours after positive OPK - so just in case, I would advise you if possible to stay the 2nd nite and flood the egg with as many swimmers as possible.

In relation to lubrication, I know they don't need it, but it has been proven the speed are better swimmers in that fluid, and assuming that ur not going to orgasm/produce ur own, I would say use a bit of the lube surely

Again, this is just me thinking out loud so please don't take this as gospel or jump down my throat if I've said something wrong 🙈

I really hope this works out for you! And keep us updated